u/SomberDreamer

I’m trying to decide between two offers. I was unemployed for a while and finally struck two offers at the same time. One is as a “consultant” (or contract) with a staffing agency called Actalent to work for Amazon (their client). Base is 140k. The other is a direct hire to work for BAE Systems for 10k less. Given this current market, what would you go for? The Amazon offer sounds a little shaky, especially with their work culture and constant layoffs, AND it’s through a third party. Benefits are meh. The defense company sounds cushier and chiller with better benefits overall with every other Friday off. The team I interviewed was much warmer and inviting vs. Amazon. Both SWE positions with similar responsibilities.

Please excuse the dumb question. Because I (27 M) just broke up with my boyfriend (30 M) for good. There were fundamental incompatibilities we couldn't get past. We dated for two years and it was the first truly loving, serious relationship I've ever had. Whereas some people experience this sort of heartbreak early on, I feel like I'm playing catch up and grieving so hard at an age where I should have "life" figured out.

I feel like no one will ever love me the way he did. Now I feel so isolated and behind in life. I look around me and everyone is in their own happy bubbles. I feel like I'll never get over this. Can anyone who experienced a breakup in their late 20s tell their experiences? Thank you.

4 YOE, BS/MS, working at mid-sized company until I was laid off in May. 5 months of applying to jobs within 24 hrs of posting, 600+ total applications, countless recruiter, hiring manager, and technical manager rounds. Countless ghostings by unprofessional recruiters. Clueless, disorganized interviews by smaller companies. Finally, it all came to end with a FAANG job offer in hand.

I’m so glad to be out of the trenches. Good luck out there. One piece of advice: do not ever be loyal to companies, no matter how rosy they say their financials or spreadsheets are. Keep looking WHILE you’re employed.

How many years of experience do you have? What's your background/stack? How long have you been looking for? Is it really that bad out there?

I've been living here since January 2023. I mostly lucked on a townhouse, paying $2,200/month for a spacious 2Bd. Since then, I've been dating my boyfriend for a while and we've been trying to move into a suitable place for a while now. Can I just say, WTF? Why are 1 bedrooms (I'm looking at you, Slate in Merrimack) going for $2,200?? Why are 2 bedrooms touching $3,000??? Apart from that there's barely any inventory. We're lucky to be two working professionals making good dual income. But I don't know how anyone else is surviving. Most of the high-paying jobs are near Boston. So why is it SO expensive here?

I recently started finasteride and I’m trying to get a hold on minor sides. Fatigue and nipple tenderness, basically. I’ve heard that DIM supplements can counteract the elevated estrogen levels. Has this worked for anyone?

This seminar was last offered Spring 2025. Does anyone know what semester it will be offered next?

I’m a 27 M living in New Hampshire for the past 4 years. I’m a software engineer, but recently laid off. I broke up with my boyfriend because we couldn’t reconcile where we wanted to live. He was hellbent on staying in New Hampshire as his job was tied to the state and I wanted to live somewhere with more career and financial security. He refused to make the change for both of us.

So now I’m looking somewhere to live as a single gay man. Seattle has been at the top of my list for a while now because of its tech scene, nature, big LGBT presence, and the possibility of buying a home. I’m also looking to have a decent social life and have success with dating for a newer, long term relationship. I’ve also been looking at SF and NYC but those seem a little bit too crowded and expensive for me, TBH. Can anyone recommend other places?

And if so, how does dating usually go? Do introverts usually pair with other introverts? Or do they want an extrovert? Personally, I’m an ambivert, and would prefer someone who’s somewhere in the middle like myself.

And what are your experiences? To me, it seems that the tech job market here is just not that good for a city of its size, compared to SF, NYC, Seattle, etc. There’s a lot more job postings and diversity of jobs in the aforementioned cities. A lot of manufacturing-adjacent software companies too in Boston that are looking for a very specific skill set. It’s not exactly my niche and I’m looking to expand my search to the West Coast.

I have a lot of (straight) friends who struggle to date and/or make friends in Seattle. Granted, they've told me there's some sort of skew in the gender ratio of males to females. But I also have gay friends who've created a great social life and have had plenty of success dating. Is it true that the "Freeze" can't penetrate the rainbow?

I’m seriously thinking of quitting porn for good. I’m trying to reclaim intimacy in my relationships, and stop seeing men as sexual objects, which is a trap I’ve fallen into. I’ve also heard of how it help’s the brain’s dopamine system heal and reset. Has anybody done the same and report what it was like? Did you find your life improving?

I’m from Miami, though. A part of the US that’s heavily Hispanic/latino. Just about every guy is uncut there. It wasn’t until I moved to the Northeast and started dating around did I notice just how prevalent circumcision is. I don’t have a preference and it’s not weird to me. But the practice certainly is. Why is genital mutilation so normalized? Infants cannot consent. They should leave it up to the person when they become an adult.

First of all, I'd like to acknowledge that I feel blessed to even have access to therapists in my area. I have my first session with a new clinic this week. Thankfully, this one is specializing in LGBT patients which I think I desperately need.

The problem is, every time I've attended therapy before, after about a couple of weeks, I'll more-or-less declare having found the "answers" and don't see much use going anymore. Every therapist I've had has told me that I'm highly "self-aware" and have good insight into my own issues. Eventually, I just run out of things to talk about and I feel like I'm wasting their time. I thank them for having helped me navigate my problems and I stop seeing them. Then several months later, I fall into the same rut of issues that I thought I've resolved before, and I just hold in the burden until I can't anymore.

But now I'm struggling with a perfect storm of issues: unemployment, relationship issues, loneliness/isolation, and pretty bad anxiety/ADHD. I'm really at just about the lowest point in my life. I really want to commit to this for the long-haul and stop having to turn to therapy only when I'm in dire straits.

So I guess my question(s) are: how can I get the most out of my sessions? How can I really get to the bottom of my issues and make healing more permanent? I don't want to be off-and-on anymore.

I don’t know if it’s just me. My body might just be high-maintenance. But if I don’t sleep at least 8 hours, it’s guaranteed that I’ll have some sort of headache for the rest of the day. It doesn’t matter that I have a healthy diet, I exercise, I get my dose of vitamin D. No. It’s kind of infuriating. I’m trying to be a functional adult. Sometimes that requires that I don’t sleep as much. But then I have these practically guaranteed headaches to look forward to. Sigh. What the hell is deal here???

Even if you have the degree(s) and the experience. I’m trying so hard not to lose it!!!

I’m 25, and I was laid off from my engineering job 3 months ago. I’ve applied to 300 jobs, a combination of remote, hybrid, on site positions. I CANNOT find a job, even for ones I’m full qualified for in terms of skills, experience, and degree requirements. Even for the ones recruiters reach out to me for. I’ve given about 10 interviews already and they are not leading to offers. Truth be told, I’m living a little bit suburban, and the nearest city is like 50 minutes away.

I was just approved for Medicaid and food stamps. I pay $2,175 in rent for a month-to-month lease, and I have about $25,000 in savings. $50k in a 401k. I’ve used 3 out of my 6 months of unemployment, which is just barely enough to cover rent. In 3 months time, I’m going to have to dip into my savings just to pay for rent and groceries.

The problem is, I’m terrified about my employment prospects. I’ve been considering taking a withdrawal for my 401k for a great financial cushion/psychological safety. Granted, I’ve only been applying for remote and local jobs hoping to land something nearby so that I can stay where I am. But, if I have to move somewhere else, I’ll do that. What should I do?

Edit: Thank you all for the advice and outreach about referrals. I wasn't expecting for this post to blow up. I'll try to catch up as best I can.