u/ThyArtSuffers

Ryan (26) and Alicia (27) have been together for 5 years. They got engaged 1-2 years ago and are getting married later this year. When they first got together, they moved in together within 2 months and Alicia didn’t have a job but was in college. Ryan was whatever about it, but would always make issues about what she wanted to spend money on (kind of understandable considering the fact that he was the sole provider for their relationship). She eventually got a full time job and she’s been there since (its been like 2-4 years). Anyway, now Ryan is bitching at Alicia to get a job that pays better. He makes $27 and she makes $20 an hour. He gets mad when she pays for her sister when they go out. He’s recently complained to my best friend and i (24 & 25f) in group calls where she can clearly hear him talking about her and we’ve always told him she should work wherever shes happy, its her money to spend on what she wants (she was happy at that job), etc. He insisted he picks up her slack and whatever else. Well finally hes pushed and pushed her and she finally got a new job that pays better but it really doesnt seem like she’ll be as happy there. Am i overreacting for thinking his behavior is mean, concerning, or maybe even borderline emotionally abusive? Or is it normal for engaged couples to behave like this and i just dont have enough experience with that?

I am not on this subreddit for medical advice or a diagnosis or anything of the sort!! I am simply asking people to recommend therapists they trust! I am really struggling to find a therapist that meets my needs in the area.

i.e. flashbacks to social situations/memories from days-years ago of something that could have been potentially embarrassing. I also ruminate on feeling stupid, thinking people are talking about me, worrying that people dont like me, etc. I havent learned any long term skills in therapy that have truly helped me so i figured id go directly to the source and ask some people who have experienced the same thing i do. I’ve been trying the whole “dont give a fuck” thing, where im like “well it wont matter in 5 years let alone 100” blah blah and it helps in the moment but not the initial experience. What has helped you with this?

I was unemployed for a while and a friend of mine helped me out with money quite a bit. I owe her $103, and honestly id like to send extra because of how often she helped without me owing her. We obviously didnt mention the money when cutting the friendship off, but i think of it quite often now that i am employed. Would it be weird if i just silently sent it to her, caption it “IOU”, and leave it at that? Or should i just leave it as it is? We didnt leave off on horrible terms and we were really close for 10 years. Idk. What do you guys think

We’ve been together for a little over a year. In the evening i game and hang on the phone with my friends a lot, sometimes i watch movies and snack, etc. Basically, i dont usually have my phone directly on me at night a lot of the time, im living in the moment. If i forget to text goodnight or i dont see my boyfriend’s goodnight text, he spams me. Like ill check my phone later to see 10 messages and 2 phone calls from my boyfriend wanting me to say goodnight back. We’ve argued about this before and hes said he literally cant go to sleep without a goodnight text which feels codependent to me. I want goodnight texts to be nice and sweet, not forced and i dont like being guilted if i dont send one that night... it kind of ruins the concept of it for me. I’m not really sure how to go about this, i understand both of our sides to an extent, but guilting and spamming me seems to be a bit much. What would you do in this situation?

I’ve had multiple experiences with the same person where i was making out with him and he reached to touch me privately. I told him i wasnt in the mood/didnt want to. He moved to touch me again soon after this to test if he could get me into the mood or if i changed my mind. He would also do this if i said “nothing sexual” before coming over, hed still touch me sexually to see if id be in the mood. Was this sexual assault?