▲ 1 r/etron

Lock/unlock door buttons don’t work

The lock and unlock buttons on my door don’t work when pressing them on my 2021 Audi E Tron sport back Q4. I can only lock my door by pressing the key fob or using the app. Is there something I’m doing wrong or somewhere I can reprogram this, or is it something wrong with the actual door lock mechanism?

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 1 day ago

Two years after graduation, still can’t find a public health job.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for recommendations for a decent public health position, preferably remote, but I’m also open to part-time in-person opportunities in the Sacramento, CA area.

I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in Public Health (Healthcare Administration concentration) in December 2023. For the past two years, I’ve been working in a paid internship at a major hospital in Sacramento. Even with internal hiring opportunities, it’s been really difficult to secure a permanent position. I’ve had my resume reviewed a few times and personally I think it’s very nicely put together and highlights my strengths.

I’ll be honest, I haven’t been able to dedicate months of nonstop job searching because I’m also in nursing school, which takes up a lot of my time. That said, I’ve still submitted around 100 applications through Indeed, LinkedIn, and internal job postings, and I haven’t received a single interview.

Does anyone have recommendations for companies that are hiring, job boards that have worked well for you, or any advice on getting into a permanent public health role? I’d really appreciate any suggestions. Thank you!

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u/ToughAd7477 — 4 days ago
▲ 6 r/etron

Is an inoperable charger worth selling?

Just purchased my Audi E Tron and it came with a wall plug-in NEMA charger. I tested it out and it wasn’t working, had it tested at the dealership and was deemed inoperable after some very brief testing.

For reference, when I plug it into my car, the charge indicating either light flashes white, or will charge for a few seconds before shutting itself off.

Is it worth trying to sell the parts or should I just throw the whole thing away? It comes with the dryer plug-in and a standard outlet plug-in.

u/ToughAd7477 — 8 days ago

SMUD EV charger rebate questions

Hello, brand new to the EV game. Just purchased a 2021 Audi E Tron Sportback and I’m about to have a home charger installed. I’m going with the plug-in NEMA charger and plan to submit my receipt for a $100 rebate.

-What are the most affordable chargers eligible for the rebate?
-Can I purchase a used one off of a secondhand site as long as I have a receipt, or does it need ti be a brand new charger?
-Is a certain brand recommended? I heard that the Audi charger isn’t the best and to look for different options.

Thank you.

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u/ToughAd7477 — 9 days ago
▲ 0 r/etron

Recommendations for home charger + rebate program

Hello, brand new to the EV game. Just purchased my 2021 Audi E Tron Sportback and I’m about to have a home charger installed. I’m going to use the plug-in Nema charger and plan to submit my receipt to SMUD (Sacramento electricity company)for a $100 rebate.

-What are the most affordable chargers eligible for the rebate?
-Can I purchase a used one off of eBay as long as I have a receipt?
-Is a certain brand recommended, I heard that the Audi brand isn’t very good into look for different options.

Thank you.

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 9 days ago
▲ 14 r/etron

Hole in my grille

Literally just got this car three weeks ago and now there’s a hole in my grille. I barely drive it, really wondering how this could’ve happened and what may have caused the damage. My neighbors have been moving a lot of furniture recently, so wondering if they may have caused damage but don’t want to place any blame. Any ideas?

Also, is this something that needs to be immediately repaired, can the hole cause any further damage to internal components?

u/ToughAd7477 — 16 days ago

How do you 25/F handle suspicions that a former situationship 25/M may not have actually been single?

I had a brief situationship with someone I’d been friends with for 10 years. We both were getting out of relationships and eventually became romantic. It didn’t last long, and though I’m still hurt in the way it ended I’ve moved on.

However, he has intermittently reached out since then, and it’s always been late at night type DMs. Just a week ago, he sent me a “hey” around 1:45 a.m. and had blocked me before I even saw it several days later. I posted about it on Reddit and a few people said it sounds like he’s cheating on someone: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/8Gya8BB5ZK (I’ve since blocked him on all platforms)

Looking back, there were also a few things that now seem odd to me. For example, when I was at his place, he seemed unusually concerned about his roommate hearing that we were being intimate. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but in hindsight it makes me question whether the situation was exactly as he described. Also on his ex’s page there are multiple photos of her posting pics at his favorite bar, the same one he took me. The timeline is a little muddy

I don’t have clear evidence that he was still in a relationship, and I don’t know whether he and his ex are together now. I only have some behaviors and photos that, in retrospect, make me wonder if I wasn’t getting the full truth.

For people who have been in similar situations, how did you handle having suspicions but no concrete proof? Did you seek answers, let it go, or approach it another way? I just don’t want her to get hurt like how he hurt me.

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u/ToughAd7477 — 22 days ago

Was this just a booty call? Late night DM after months of no contact

TLDR: A man I’d been friends with for 10+ years pursued me romantically, assured me he was serious despite me having a newborn, then changed his mind a month later. I ended contact because I had real feelings and felt used and hurt. Almost six months of no contact later, he sent me a “hey” on Instagram at 1:50am. By the time I saw it six days later, he had already blocked me. I texted asking what he wanted, and he brushed it off with, “Hey, it’s all good, my bad.” I blocked him afterward. Men of Reddit: what usually motivates a late-night “hey” after months of silence?

Trying to understand why a man(25M) from a past situationship might randomly send a late night booty call message after not speaking with me(25F) for 5 months.

For background context, had a past situationship that lasted about a month. It was initiated by him(25M) after he confessed feelings for me and wanted to try to date. This was a friendship of 10+ years and I opted not to unless he was sure he was serious, knowing if it didn’t work out our friendship would never be the same and would likely not work as I know I love hard once I’m all in. However he assured me he was serious, we tried dating and ended up having sex, but just about a month later he said he opted to return to friends because he didn’t understand what dating someone with a child would look like although I directly warned him of this prior(I had a newborn). We tried friendship after but I eventually told him it’s best not to speak any longer. I had real feelings for him and I really felt used, played, not considered, disrespected. I was extremely hurt because I thought I could trust my old friend to protect my emotions.

It’s been 5 months since our last contact and I get an instagram DM-“hey” at 1:50am. Im not on Insta often and noticed after 6 days. When I went to reply he had already blocked me, so I messaged him on text message asked what he’d wanted. He brushed it off and apologized for sending it saying “hey it’s all good, my bad.”

I want to know why he did it in the first place. I’m not upset he blocked me. I blocked him on all platforms as I don’t believe he had pure intentions and will just continued to play with me and use me at this point. However I want to know what his intentions might have been.

When men send late night text messages, is it because they:

  1. Were horny, and:
  2. A) text the person they think is easiest access and lowest effort/risk
  3. B) were reminiscing on past sexual experiences with you and reached out at booty call hours
  4. C) were thinking about/miss you and had late night or drunk courage to reach out
  5. Were curious and reached out of off late night/drunk courage
  6. Genuinely miss you, and wanted to catch up off of late night courage/loneliness but got upset when you didn’t reply immediately

And also, why only block me on 1/3 platforms?

Personally I think it was 1A and/or 1B. I just feel disrespected thinking how a 10 year friendship has degraded so much to he’d feel comfortable to reach out to me on booty call hours. It’s so disrespectful and really reinforces the feeling that he never cared and just was using me all along. Just want your opinions, thanks

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 23 days ago

Was this just a booty call? Late night DM after months of no contact

Trying to understand why a man(25M) from a past situationship might randomly send a late night booty call message after not speaking with me(25F) for 5 months.

For background context, had a past situationship that lasted about a month. It was initiated by him(25M) after he confessed feelings for me and wanted to try to date. This was a friendship of 10+ years and I opted not to unless he was sure he was serious, knowing if it didn’t work out our friendship would never be the same and would likely not work as I know I love hard once I’m all in. However he assured me he was serious, we tried dating and ended up having sex, but just about a month later he said he opted to return to friends because he didn’t understand what dating someone with a child would look like although I directly warned him of this prior(I had a newborn). We tried friendship after but I eventually told him it’s best not to speak any longer. I had real feelings for him and I really felt used, played, not considered, disrespected. I was extremely hurt because I thought I could trust my old friend to protect my emotions.

It’s been 5 months since our last contact and I get an instagram DM-“hey” at 1:50am. Im not on Insta often and noticed after 6 days. When I went to reply he had already blocked me, so I messaged him on text message asked what he’d wanted. He brushed it off and apologized for sending it saying “hey it’s all good, my bad.”

I want to know why he did it in the first place. I’m not upset he blocked me. I blocked him on all platforms as I don’t believe he had pure intentions and will just continued to play with me and use me at this point. However I want to know what his intentions might have been.

When men send late night text messages, is it because they:

  1. Were horny, and:

  2. A) text the person they think is easiest access and lowest effort/risk

  3. B) were reminiscing on past sexual experiences with you and reached out at booty call hours

  4. C) were thinking about/miss you and had late night or drunk courage to reach out

  5. Were curious and reached out of off late night/drunk courage

  6. Genuinely miss you, and wanted to catch up off of late night courage/loneliness but got upset when you didn’t reply immediately

And also, why only block me on 1/3 platforms?

Personally I think it was 1A and/or 1B. I just feel disrespected thinking how a 10 year friendship has degraded so much to he’d feel comfortable to reach out to me on booty call hours. It’s so disrespectful and really reinforces the feeling that he never cared and just was using me all along. Just want your opinions, thanks

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 23 days ago

Why would a guy randomly late night DM me at after 5 months of no contact?

TLDR: A man I’d been friends with for 10+ years pursued me romantically, assured me he was serious despite me having a newborn, then changed his mind a month later. I ended contact because I had real feelings and felt used and hurt. Almost six months of no contact later, he sent me a “hey” on Instagram at 1:50am. By the time I saw it six days later, he had already blocked me. I texted asking what he wanted, and he brushed it off with, “Hey, it’s all good, my bad.” I blocked him afterward. Men of Reddit: what usually motivates a late-night “hey” after months of silence?

Trying to understand why a man(25M) from a past situationship might randomly send a late night booty call message after not speaking with me(25F) for 5 months.

For background context, had a past situationship that lasted about a month. It was initiated by him(25M) after he confessed feelings for me and wanted to try to date. This was a friendship of 10+ years and I opted not to unless he was sure he was serious, knowing if it didn’t work out our friendship would never be the same and would likely not work as I know I love hard once I’m all in. However he assured me he was serious, we tried dating and ended up having sex, but just about a month later he said he opted to return to friends because he didn’t understand what dating someone with a child would look like although I directly warned him of this prior(I had a newborn). We tried friendship after but I eventually told him it’s best not to speak any longer. I had real feelings for him and I really felt used, played, not considered, disrespected. I was extremely hurt because I thought I could trust my old friend to protect my emotions.

It’s been 5 months since our last contact and I get an instagram DM-“hey” at 1:50am. Im not on Insta often and noticed after 6 days. When I went to reply he had already blocked me, so I messaged him on text message asked what he’d wanted. He brushed it off and apologized for sending it saying “hey it’s all good, my bad.”

I want to know why he did it in the first place. I’m not upset he blocked me. I blocked him on all platforms as I don’t believe he had pure intentions and will just continued to play with me and use me at this point. However I want to know what his intentions might have been.

When men send late night text messages, is it because they:

  1. ⁠Were horny, and:
    A) text the person they think is easiest access and lowest effort/risk
    B) were reminiscing on past sexual experiences with you and reached out at booty call hours
    C)were thinking about/miss you and had late night or drunk courage to reach out

  2. Were curious and reached out of off late night/drunk courage

  3. Genuinely miss you, and wanted to catch up off of late night courage/loneliness but got upset when you didn’t reply immediately

And also, why only block me on 1/3 platforms?

Personally I think it was 1A and/or 1B. I just feel disrespected thinking how a 10 year friendship has degraded so much to he’d feel comfortable to reach out to me on booty call hours. It’s so disrespectful and really reinforces the feeling that he never cared and just was using me all along. Just want your opinions, thanks

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 23 days ago

Was I wrong to end it, and should I reach back out now?

About two years ago, a close friend(25M) of 10+ years confessed feelings for me(25F). At the time I had a newborn, was leaving an abusive relationship, and was emotionally vulnerable. I told him I didn’t want to risk our friendship unless he was absolutely sure because I knew I could become attached.

He assured me he was serious, so we started seeing each other. About a month later, he told me that dating someone with a baby was more complicated than he initially realized and opted to revert back to just friends.

The breakup was truly devastating to me, emotionally even more intense than the domestic violence I had just went through…I felt like I lost one of my closest friends at a time when I was struggling with postpartum emotions, single motherhood, and recovering from abuse. It took me over a year to stop thinking about him every day, and I was genuinely crushed. It sucks to say but I loved him- I thought I could trust him.

After that he continued to reach back out and wanted to rebuild the friendship. He put in genuine effort for several months, but I realized I was still hurt and still had feelings. I told him I didn’t think we should continue hanging out. He seemed s bit surprised but respected my decision.

Fast forward 5 months. About a week ago he randomly sent me a late-night “hey” on Instagram. I didn’t respond for 6 days, but when I finally went to reply, I discovered he had blocked me on Instagram (but not by phone or on any other platform). I texted him asking what he wanted, and he replied, “It’s all good, my bad.”

Now I’m confused.
Part of me misses the friendship and wonders if enough time has passed for us to have a healthy platonic relationship. I was actually really hoping the text would lead to a conversation and we could catch up. Another part of me worries I’d just be reopening old wounds.

Do you think his late-night message was just nostalgia or loneliness, or horny energy? Do you think he actually wanted a conversation and got upset when I didn’t respond? Should I reach back out, or leave it alone? I miss him.

Edit: nevermind fuck him🤣

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 25 days ago

Was I wrong to end the friendship, and should I reach back out now?

About two years ago, a close friend(25M) of 10+ years confessed feelings for me(25F). At the time I had a newborn, was leaving an abusive relationship, and was emotionally vulnerable. I told him I didn’t want to risk our friendship unless he was absolutely sure because I knew I could become attached.

He assured me he was serious, so we started seeing each other. About a month later, he told me that dating someone with a baby was more complicated than he initially realized and opted to revert back to just friends.

The breakup was devastating to me…I felt like I lost one of my closest friends at a time when I was struggling with postpartum emotions, single motherhood, and recovering from abuse. It took me over a year to stop thinking about him every day, and I was genuinely crushed. It sucks to say but I loved him- I thought I could trust him.

After that he continued to reach back out and wanted to rebuild the friendship. He put in genuine effort for several months, but I realized I was still hurt and still had feelings. I told him I didn’t think we should continue hanging out. He seemed s bit surprised but respected my decision.

Fast forward 5 months. About a week ago he randomly sent me a late-night “hey” on Instagram. I didn’t respond for 6 days, but when I finally went to reply, I discovered he had blocked me on Instagram (but not by phone or on any other platform). I texted him asking what he wanted, and he replied, “It’s all good, my bad.”

Now I’m confused.
Part of me misses the friendship and wonders if enough time has passed for us to have a healthy platonic relationship. I was actually really hoping the text would lead to a conversation and we could catch up. Another part of me worries I’d just be reopening old wounds.

Do you think his late-night message was just nostalgia or loneliness? Do you think he actually wanted a conversation and got embarrassed when I didn’t respond? Should I reach back out, or leave it alone? I miss him.

Edit: nevermind fuck him🤣

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 25 days ago

Was I wrong the end the friendship, and should I reach back out now?

About two years ago, a close friend(25M) of 10+ years confessed feelings for me(25F). At the time I had a newborn, was leaving an abusive relationship, and was emotionally vulnerable. I told him I didn’t want to risk our friendship unless he was absolutely sure because I knew I could become attached.

He assured me he was serious, so we started seeing each other. About a month later, he told me that dating someone with a baby was more complicated than he initially realized and opted to revert back to just friends.

The breakup was devastating to me…I felt like I lost one of my closest friends at a time when I was struggling with postpartum emotions, single motherhood, and recovering from abuse. It took me over a year to stop thinking about him every day, and I was genuinely crushed. It sucks to say but I loved him- I thought I could trust him.

After that he continued to reach back out and wanted to rebuild the friendship. He put in genuine effort for several months, but I realized I was still hurt and still had feelings. I told him I didn’t think we should continue hanging out. He seemed s bit surprised but respected my decision.

Fast forward 5 months. About a week ago he randomly sent me a late-night “hey” on Instagram. I didn’t respond for 6 days, but when I finally went to reply, I discovered he had blocked me on Instagram (but not by phone or on any other platform). I texted him asking what he wanted, and he replied, “It’s all good, my bad.”

Now I’m confused.
Part of me misses the friendship and wonders if enough time has passed for us to have a healthy platonic relationship. I was actually really hoping the text would lead to a conversation and we could catch up. Another part of me worries I’d just be reopening old wounds.

Do you think his late-night message was just nostalgia or loneliness? Do you think he actually wanted a conversation and got embarrassed when I didn’t respond? Should I reach back out, or leave it alone? I miss him.

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 25 days ago
▲ 1 r/etron

Curious, how much you all pay for insurance? Audi e tron Q4 S Sportback

For reference, I am 25 years old with no accident.

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 28 days ago

Looking for some encouragement🥹

Hey y’all, I’m in semester 3 out of 8 for my BSN program. Originally, my dream was to become a dentist, but I decided to go for nursing after I had my child and a few of my priorities changed. I felt that it was better to get through a quicker program which would give me more time back to soak in the moments during my child’s youth, would provide a good income and stability, and wouldn’t get me into any debt.

I’m in California, so with dental school, I was looking at about five years(preqreqs/DAT studying included), and a minimum of 500K debt, but likely even higher than that factoring in interest and cost of living.

I still feel like I made the right decision for my family, but emotionally I struggle every semester feeling like I am spending my time studying for a career im not passionate in. My plan is eventually to somehow rejoin my career in nursing with dentistry, either by becoming a CRNA and assisting in dental sedation procedures, or just going to dental school in a few years once my kid is older. At that point though, I’m not even sure if it would be worth it though because again of the crippling debt.

Lately, I’ve just been going through a lot of transitions, including moving, car troubles resulting in needing to buy a new car, and family issues, and I’m honestly just feeling really depressed right now about my career. Just looking for some encouragement, thanks🥹

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 2 months ago

Looking for some encouragement

Hey y’all, I’m in semester 3 out of 8 for my BSN program. Originally, my dream was to become a dentist, but I decided to go for nursing after I had my child and a few of my priorities changed. I felt that it was better to get through a quicker program which would give me more time back to soak in the moments during my child’s youth, would provide a good income and stability, and wouldn’t get me into any debt.

I’m in California, so with dental school, I was looking at about five years(preqreqs/DAT studying included), and a minimum of 500K debt, but likely even higher than that factoring in interest and cost of living.

I still feel like I made the right decision for my family, but emotionally I struggle every semester feeling like I am spending my time studying for a career im not passionate in. My plan is eventually to somehow rejoin my career in nursing with dentistry, either by becoming a CRNA and assisting in dental sedation procedures, or just going to dental school in a few years once my kid is older. At that point though, I’m not even sure if it would be worth it though because again of the crippling debt.

Lately, I’ve just been going through a lot of transitions, including moving, car troubles resulting in needing to buy a new car, and family issues, and I’m honestly just feeling really depressed right now about my career. Just looking for some encouragement, thanks🥹

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 2 months ago

Moved back in with family after DV incident and now feel emotionally burnt out- considering moving out with my daughter

TL;DR: Single mom (25F) considering moving out of my family home after a DV situation due to ongoing stress, lack of support, and household tension while working full time and attending nursing school. I found an affordable 2–3 bedroom apartment with mostly included utilities and strong financial stability, and I’m trying to decide if now is the right time to leave and whether the 2 or 3 bedroom makes more sense for me and my daughter.

I (25F) moved back into my parents’ house about a year and a half ago after a domestic violence incident with my child’s father. At the time, I had a newborn and really needed the support and stability. My parents and younger sister all live here as well.

Overall, I know my family loves my child and me, and I’m grateful they opened their home to us. But over time, the environment has become emotionally exhausting and full of tension, mostly surrounding household responsibilities and expectations.

I work full time remotely while raising my daughter and attending nursing school full time. During this same period, my elderly and declining grandmother also moved into the house, and we have two elderly incontinent dogs. Because I work from home, a lot of the day-to-day burden naturally fell onto me like helping with my grandmother, dealing with the dogs/messes, household cleaning, etc.
I tried to be understanding because I was grateful to be here, but I honestly became overwhelmed. I rarely asked for support unless I was truly at my breaking point, and even then, my requests for help were usually ignored. Even my father has felt so overwhelmed and disheartened by the lack of support that he has removed himself from the household and only visits a few times per week.

Recently we had a family discussion where I tried to express how difficult that time was for me and how unsupported I felt for months. Instead of any acknowledgment, accountability, or even basic empathy, everything got flipped back onto me by my mother and sister and I somehow became the problem for bringing it up. The most burdensome dog recently passed away, and my grandmother recently moved back to her own place, however tensions in house are still high, and it’s extremely disheartening to have been dismissed in a conversation where I was just trying to express myself.

There are also other issues contributing to how I feel:
-critical commentary regarding my personal life/relationships,
-feeling like there’s minimal support with my child despite living together while being expected to support them by stretching myself thin
-overall feeling emotionally unsupported and disrespected
-and very hurtful things being said that I’m apparently expected to just overlook.

What makes this harder is that I do want a relationship with my family long term, and I know they love my child. But I’m struggling with the dynamic of people wanting access to your child while simultaneously being dismissive and disrespectful toward you. Plus, the love towards my child and I comes across very conditional and at their convenience. I want to note that I understand that nobody is obligated to help me with my child, but again I feel so stretched thin by the expectations and simultaneous lack of support in all areas.

I recently found an affordable place for my daughter and me. Financially it would be tight, and I’m nervous about being fully on our own for the first time while still balancing work and nursing school. But part of me feels like the emotional peace and independence may outweigh the struggle.

Has anyone else moved out under similar circumstances? Did distance help improve family relationships eventually, or did you regret leaving the support system behind? Really nervous and looking for advice. Thank you.

2 vs 3 bedroom decision:
in the event I decide to move out, I’m also deciding between a 2-bedroom ($1647) and a 3-bedroom ($1970).The 2-bedroom is more affordable, but the 3-bedroom feels more functional for our lifestyle since I work from home and am in school. With the 3-bedroom, I could have a separate space for studying/work, child could have her own room, and we’d have better storage and less clutter in the living room living areas. I’m also concerned about the effects of downsizing from a lively and spacious household to a small apartment on my child and my indoor outdoor cat, so that’s another reason I’m considering the 3 bedroom. The apartment doesn’t come with much storage space or a washer or dryer so considering adding portable one to the 3rd bedroom and also using it as an overflow and storage type room. The 2-bedroom is more budget-friendly, but I worry it may feel cramped long-term given everything we do inside the home.

I make around $3500 and I have a pretty generous emergency fund saved already. I could afford to not work for the next 2 years and get through school if I wanted. However, I recently had car trouble pop up and may need to factor in car payments for a new car. The 3 bedroom + new car sounds like I could risk being really stressed financially. Additionally the cash was not initially intended for paying rent. I saved it to get me through school comfortably/down payment on a house in a few years/investments. Wondering if it would be better to save the funds or spend a more on an apartment I may be a bit more happy in.

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 2 months ago

So I have evidence of a DV incident/child abuse via a recording I took from a phone conversation while the other party was unaware. The other party was recounting on the incident and I have it on tape very clear. I discussed this with authorities and they said bc California is a 2 party consent state, I actually committed a misdemeanor and they wouldn’t be able to use that evidence in a criminal case.

This is very defeating as it’s my only evidence of the child abuse. I submitted the police report without that video, but wondering how accurate the officers statement was. Should I submit another report with the video? I understand it’s a misdemeanor, but could I just pay the $2500 fine and move on so they have the evidence? Or would that still not make a difference and they wouldn’t be able to use it?

Appreciate all answers, thanks.

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 2 months ago

Location: California

Situation: Father of child left mother and child to go live out of state when baby was a few months old. Father has not been back to visit child in person since-last time he saw her was a couple months past 1 year ago. We were never married but he is on birth certificate.

He has sent monthly financial support for about a year, using excuses due to disagreements or financial instability a few times. He makes FaceTime calls with her 1-3 times per month, and creating a consistent schedule has been a challenge due to his resistance. He initially demanded a schedule, I agreed, but he failed to provide one to me when I asked him to create one that fits his schedule within the child’s provided awake windows. After asking 3 times he finally provided one, saying I don’t initiate contact enough.

There were also 3 domestic violence related incidents, one involving child abuse, that all went undocumented until over a year after the incidents. I have no proof of injuries but a police report had been made for documentation. I do have evidence of him admitting to one incident over voice message and destroyed property. The reason the incidents went documented so long, particularly the incident involving child abuse, was because I was of afraid retaliation and mainly afraid of him still gaining custody of the child, and he was already of state and out of the picture directly following that incident. Terrible decision I know, and the reports hold no weight being so long ago with no injury evidence- but they’re on paper now.

He’s been very difficult to co parent with, even out of state. Cussing me out multiple times over text, calling me out of my name, changing and cancelling FaceTime schedules, and recently demanding fees for me to obtain his signature on legal documents need for our child. Truthfully I’ve been extremely pleasant and accommodating. Even with his behavior I’ve never stooped to his level or retaliated- I actually feel I’m allowing him to run all over me by accommodating all these schedule changes with his rude behavior.

With this pattern, if I file for sole legal and physical custody how likely would it be that I’m granted that? Thanks.

reddit.com
u/ToughAd7477 — 2 months ago

Situation: father of child left mother and child to go live out of state when baby was a few months old. Father has not been back to visit child in person since-last time he saw her was a couple months past 1 year ago. We were never married but he is on birth certificate.

He has sent monthly financial support for about a year, using excuses due to disagreements or financial instability a few times. He makes FaceTime calls with her 1-3 times per month, and creating a consistent schedule has been a challenge due to his resistance. He initially demanded a schedule, I agreed, but he failed to provide one to me when I asked him to create one that fits his schedule within the child’s provided awake windows. After asking 3 times he finally provided one, saying I don’t initiate contact enough.

There were also 3 domestic violence related incidents, one involving child abuse, that all went undocumented until over a year after the incidents. I have no proof of injuries but a police report had been made for documentation. I do have evidence of him admitting to one incident over voice message and destroyed property. The reason the incidents went documented so long, particularly the incident involving child abuse, was because I was of afraid retaliation and mainly afraid of him still gaining custody of the child, and he was already of state and out of the picture directly following that incident. Terrible decision I know, and the reports hold no weight being so long ago with no injury evidence- but they’re on paper now.

He’s been very difficult to co parent with, even out of state. Cussing me out multiple times over text, calling me out of my name, changing and cancelling FaceTime schedules, and recently demanding fees for me to obtain his signature on legal documents need for our child. Truthfully I’ve been extremely pleasant and accommodating. Even with his behavior I’ve never stooped to his level or retaliated- I actually feel I’m allowing him to run all over me by accommodating all these schedule changes with his rude behavior.

With this pattern, if I file for sole legal and physical custody how likely would it be that I’m granted that? Thanks.

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u/ToughAd7477 — 2 months ago