u/WhitePinoy

So I met a psychiatrist because I was dealing with serious attention/executive function issues and I think I might have undiagnosed DHD. She also thinks I might have ADHD, but she is also thinking I might be suffering from anxiety that impairs my ability to function.

Just last night, I increased my dosage from 5mg to 7mg, and had some a cup of coffee and an energy drink, plus a donut this morning. I noticed that my phone wasn't charging, and I started having racing thoughts and this was stressing me out.

It made me think that my phone's battery was dead, that I will have to drive to the one repair shop that I trust that is an hour away, how much money I am going to spend, as I am trying to desperately fix my phone at work, while making sure I don't get caught with my phone, I am nervous about how much time I am managing my time. That I will likely have to pack my stuff up so I will make it on time to the shop.

And then I get to my car to see if my phone is the problem, and it starts charging again.

I was in extreme stress and then when I realized I probably don't have a problem with my phone, I calmed down and started making this post.

TL;DR

Do you suffer from bursts of anxiety from time to time? When should I anticipate my anxiety gets under control?

I used to go to therapy about 4 years ago and worked with a therapist for 4 years. I wasn't seeing this person for ADHD, but I was seeing them because I was miserable and I was experiencing abuse by my family and various people in my life. I learned that I had low self-esteem and codependent tendencies, and that did help me a lot. But I eventually had to cut her off from my life, when she wouldn't stop complaining to me about that time she offered me pro bono services and I accepted while I was homeless. The last straw for me was when she snapped at me when I was homeless again, for 2 weeks living in my car.

I tried to find another therapist back in 2023-2024 to get an ADHD diagnosis. I went to a specialist that said on their profile that they practiced "working with ADHD people with empathy" and when I applied for an appointment, I got referred to another therapist because they said "it does not seem like a good fit" for no reason. I went to another ADHD-specialist therapist, and they said the same thing "it does not seem like a good fit, let me refer you to another therapist". Then when I applied for an appointment for the third therapist, this person replied to my appointment request, and then never replied back when I said I prefer outside my working hours.

I started seeing an ADHD psychiatrist this year. I am working with a psychiatrist who thinks I have ADHD, but wants to treat my other symptoms such as anxiety before putting me on ADHD meds. I have been feeling a little less catastrophic lately, but I am still early in my treatment. My psychiatrist asked me if I have considered therapy and says that I should try therapy when I am ready. But I have met a couple of psychologists who have stigmatized me for having ADHD/Autistic symptoms, so I am not really ready to meet a provider. I have also a lot of baggage with psychologists, so I am worried that venting these frustrations will make providers feel like they're being personally attacked.

I am asking for advice.

I rented from a landlord who used RentRedi to track rent payments, and I racked up 26 points on my account before I moved out earlier in July. I am trying to find a way to get those points added to my Credit score via Experian, without having to pay the ridiculous $5.99/mo.

I have documentation of my payments. I tried Experian Credit Boost, but I keep getting this error message "experiencing technical difficulties". I went to a different browser, used my phone, and I still keep receiving this error message.

What are my options left to obtain those 26 points for my Credit Score?

I decided to get a 2nd opinion after I was dismissed for having ADHD. I didn't want to work with a psychiatrist that did not want to address my classic symptoms (inattentiveness, fidgeting, memory, etc)

I got a new psychiatrist and while she does truly believe I might have ADHD, she wants to address possible anxiety symptoms, because ADHD meds might aggravate my anxiety since they're stimulants.

She just prescribed me Lexapro at 5mg. I am a little frustrated because I asked her if I was getting an SSRI (she said no) and if I would be worried about weight or sexual side effects (she also said no). But it does carry those risk at larger doses, which is what I DIDN'T want.

I used to take Sertraline in college, and it was very positive at the beginning, but the benefits fleeted and my anxiety/depression came back with a vengeance, and I gained back 20 lbs in a month after losing 10 lbs within a week. (Although I didn't have a competent PCP at the time).

I am willing to work with this psychiatrist, but it fucking irks me that I have to roll the dice with medication and assume the risk that it will or will not impair me or exacerbate symptoms I was trying to treat.

I just hope if my suspicions are confirmed, I don't have to argue and advocate for my basic needs.

I am so pissed off that people with disabilities just get canned. My place of work just gave me an updated employee manual, and I read that *normally protected ke.g., disability-related, medical, or other legally protected leave) can be treated as unprotected and become grounds for termination if the company decides they "preclude the employee from doing the essential functions of their job."*

What the hell does that even mean?

I remember how around the time I was dealing with cancer, I was let go multiple times.

* Got let go after one month as a contractor at a sweatshop for needing 2 weeks of recovery after my cancer surgery.

* Got let go after one month at another job for seeing my doctor to follow up on cancer treatment. Fired same week I went to see doctor.

* Fired for working from home for one week for iodine radiation therapy, and then fired 2 months later.

* **Me**: I need basic accommodations.

* **Boss**: I don't want to work with this person anymore. Also I think they should get blacklisted.

What herbs do you take that has helped you reduce bloating or water retention?

Los Angeles, California. Not Licensed.

I am working at this firm with a licensed architect, and I felt like the project could have been handled with better care. When I was signed on, I was working on this site for a couple of rooms, for a project on a site that had previously approved projects.

I felt like my architect rushed me at various points early in the project and expected me to fill in the gaps about the information on areas of the site that were missing, without any civil info. I am a Designer II, but sometimes I still feel like a junior. I try to make independent decisions to show that I am capable but then get negative feedback. And when I try to be patient and wait for my architect's instructions, I get told I am expecting my hand to be held.

When we first submitted the project, we got feedback from plan checkers to add some scope to our work per CalGreen. One of these was to add a shading analysis, which we typically designated to a landscape architect. Instead of adding a landscape architect to the team, my architect told me to do it by copying their previous work. Which I did, and my architect basically told me I sucked at it.

Then when we submitted a second time, the plan checker gave us even more scope to our work. Basically it was ADA stuff. We had to prove that it was possible to get to these new rooms, by coming from the adjacent street and through the POT we presented. But then our Civil team informed us this was a challenge, because the sloped sidewalk along the POT was not ADA compliant and my architect and people in his team who worked for this client previously were able to tiptoe around this requirement until now, somehow?

The POT became a challenge, because the Civil was spending a lot of time and struggling to get the concrete to be complaint, while the client kept barking at my architect to deliver the project already. When my architect suddenly announced the last minute deadline, I was in deadline mode and started making sure the consultants were on top of everything.

After we submitted this project last week, my architect apologized to me for putting so much pressure on me, because he knew about the POT having issues, talked to the client about it for many years, and told me that he was glad that we were able to submit it for the client. Every time the plan checker added more scope to our work it created an add service. And my architect always emphasized to me how much he was worried about presenting the problems to the client without their "faces turning red".

I felt like this was kind of a sloppy project and I honestly hated it from start to finish: I think to summarize:

• I should have pushed back more.
• We should have had a Revit file with more complete information.
• We should have addressed the POT problem early on.
• My architect should have rehired a landscape architect from our contact list.
• Should have not had overpromise things to the client.
• Definitely more communication and coordination both internally and with the consultants.

What do you think I could have done better from my position?

This isn't really a rant per se.

I am currently working at a small firm, and most recently, my work for the past couple of months has been really just tracking emails and spending time drafting emails. So much so, I think emails actually makes up at least 25% of my work day. Is this common?

I do know someone who says they receive 50+ emails a day as a JC at another, larger firm. And I met an architect at a firm I was interviewing to get a role, who told me that as you "climb the ladder" you do less drafting and modeling and the job starts getting more administrative. He jokingly told me from day to day he feels like he's works at a call center and less of an architecture firm, and that he often feels more like an accountant than an architect.

I understand it, but I don't know how to articulate it.

How do you explain the concept of focus to someone who doesn't natively speak the language?

Ihatag og libro sa bata - give the book to the child

Hatagi ang bata og libro - give the child the book

I am trying to improve my gameplan with Yasmin. I know that she just came out, but I thought I would pick up on her as fast as I did with AKI.

I would say for characters like Juri, it's her Feng Shui Engine and drive rush, Cammy her neutral and mixups, AKI, her poison, drive rush, etc.

What I've noticed is that Yasmin's normals are really stubby. Is there some spacing involved with her character? Sometimes her normals hit, sometimes they don't at distances that look like they should punish. Her DP is also kind of short range too.

What is the bread and butter you go for?

I speak with a lot of Filipinos both Cebuano and Tagalog. Because it's so hard to switch, I've frankensteined the language so that Bisaya and Tagalog are now mutually intelligible.

Uroy, kamustano na mga kaihigalabigan? Akoko si PutinangPi-inoyoy diay talagayod. Akoko dalawahuang-wawalolo ogna taonuig ugat tagitaga-Mendunau sa Pipililinasnas.

Dayontapos, gina-gigikan ko Sibunang siti. Hiliganahan akoko magsuwatlat aningyan mga abnokoying ogna posts.

Adumayroon isang-og asoiro ugat isang-og pusairing sa ako-ing bahaylay nakoko. Ako-ing dugodugo ayna mataastaas tungodahil sa aningito mga dalawahua.

Ako-ing tatayhan ayna mangtrabahotrabaho ugnat wayway trabahoho ang ako-ing nanayhan nakoko.

So, I've been seeing a lot of comments saying that a vast majority of graduates in this industry are typically not prepared for the job. And if it's anything like my own personal experience with my industry, I must assume that these allegations are true.

It makes sense to me. I think school is about teaching you how to have the basic technical skills that make you valuable. Then actually getting a job is about applying those skills under deadlines, rules, policies, and just having a basic understanding of the pipeline.

So where should people actually go to learn about the pipeline? If it's not at school?

So I've been posting about this quite a lot in this subreddit but my room is hot as hell. I didn't realize that the apartment had such a major heating problem before I accepted it.

My roommate told me that we had a thermostat, and I thought that it worked. But the vent in my room is extremely weak and we've had Property Management come to our apartment a couple of times in the past. Even before I started renting.

He told me that if they feel just a little bit of air coming out of the vent, they call that a job done. But no matter how low I put the thermostat on my room is still hot AF.

# It's open I know, please don't ask me.

I asked my roommate if we could possibly put an AC by my window and the property manager says that people in the downstairs apartments aren't allowed to have ACs by their windows. He could get a complaint by property management about it.

I feel like my only options are to either hire a more competent AC specialist to fix the vent in my room, or just defy what my roommate told me and try to find a way to make adding a window vent look subtle.

I'm repainting a bedroom I'm renting because the previous tenant painted it pink.

I found a painter on Thumbtack with excellent reviews and contacted them, explaining the job and sending photos of the room.

They asked a few questions, then became unresponsive for a few hours before saying they preferred to discuss the quote outside the app because they were busy.

I tried scheduling an in-person estimate, but none of their available times worked for me. They then said they could provide a quote based on a description and photos instead.

I only gave them a description because I'm hesitant to send more photos. My concern is that they could post the photos online and falsely claim my room was one of their completed projects.

Am I being overly paranoid, or is this just an unusual way of doing business? Their profile and online presence appear legitimate, with all 5-star reviews.

If this turns out to be a scam, what precautions should I take? I also expect they may ask for a deposit if I accept the quote.

Let me know if I misunderstood my tutor or not.

We had a discussion about "naka-" a stacked prefix composed of "na" (completed aspect) and "ka" (intensifier/chance). What we talked about was "naka-" + verb = Was able to, but "naka-" + adjective = describes a state or an action. This confuses me because it is my understanding that "na-" by itself already describes the state and the action, and that "ka-" typically describes chance.

nakagwapa = became beautiful or gussying oneself up

nakakaon = was able to eat or ate

nakadagan = was able to work/run or is working/running

So why in some instances does "naka-" means was able to, and in other instances simply describes what is going on, and in the latter case, doesn't that just make "naka-" redundant since there is already "na-"?

Let me know what I am missing.

TL;DR down below.

My mental health has been very uppity recently, and I don't know where to pinpoint the problem exactly. But it manifests mostly as me being unable to function around my own boss.

In the beginning, I really liked working with my boss, but as I have experienced at other companies, his layers slowly unraveled themselves, and I have started to see how much of an asshole he really is. My boss is unapproachable, because he gets frustrated easily when I ask questions or direction, and believes that I should automatically know the answers.

Things he has complained to me about in the past are "you are not a robot, I shouldn't have to tell you what to do". Which is basically, I don't want to make impulsive decisions difficult to undo on projects, and I have been waiting to follow your instructions, since you want them done in a very specific way, that feels micromanaged and perfect. And then when I try to work independently, he tells me that I am going "rogue" or going "above and beyond".

I don't like to argue with my boss, because I don't want to seem disrespectful/combative in these workplace situations (because disagreeing with your boss is seen as defiance, apparently). But every time I work with him, I try to be work independently, since that is one of the things he complains about, and then it backfires on me sometimes, because it wasn't perfect. And I cannot reach out or ask him for simple questions, because it will irritate him.

We've been working on this new project together and it's just been kind of messy. Most of these problems I didn't realize until hindsight. 1. I was tasked to take on a project that was done by a previous manager, but that manager rushed the construction documents and it shows 2. We have limited information on the site, and my boss did not want me to make any adjustment to the documents, because they were already approved in much older, previous projects. 3. When we submitted it for review, we got a lot of comments from pointing out the missing information, and then my boss yelling at me for not addressing these before submitting.

For most of this project, I've just been completely frustrated. I began the project, waiting for his cue to do what work was explicitly told to me, and did nothing more, nothing less. Then tells me again "you're not a robot, do things without being told" so I start spending more time quality assuring these documents and producing a lot of work with attention to detail. Then we submit it, and we get intake comments. I am confused by one comment, ask for help, and my boss tells me "what is there to be confused about? It was obvious to me".

Then we finally backcheck comments, and my boss tells me to make sure that the consultants get their part of the project done on time. And I do just that, and he snaps at me again, because I shouldn't have sent one of the consultants a reminder. They were apparently waiting for something, and nothing about indicated to me it would get to them after the deadline. And my boss got mad again.

Later, my boss takes me to his office and accuses me of pretending to work and not working at all. He says that "since this project is not a full-time job, what are you working on? I want to make sure you have something to do and not pretending to be busy". I tell him that I am working on the other manager's project, which is slow and mellow, no stress at all. Then he begins to say "you know, I feel like you are really bad at communication. I feel like I am having trouble trusting you and that you are never truly transparent".

Working with my boss has really been hurtful to my mental health. I've been making decisions that I realize in hindsight have been very impulsive, simply because I don't know what my boss wants, he doesn't want to tell me, and if I get it wrong, he will get pissed. I have developed a stutter when he asks questions, and I have been freezing a lot more. I think he's just completely impossible to work with.

TL;DR

My boss has been stressing me out for a while, and I have been developing panic/anxiety symptoms ever since. He complains that I am too dependent, and when I try to make progress independently, he says I am rogue. He doesn't like it when I do something wrong, so I ask for his feedback, which angers him, so I don't approach him for questions. For the past couple of months, he has wanted me to take "ownership" of projects, but won't let me make my own decisions or get the info I need to make a good project. And so as a result, I have developed physically symptoms, such as freezing, impulsive decision making, avoidance and stuttering.

So I've noticed that I've been experiencing a lot of panic attacks in the past couple of weeks. And most of them have something to do between me and my boss.

My boss makes me extremely nervous. I have been working on this project with him and the problems that I've been dealing with on this project are:

1. I need feedback or clarification, and this is frustrating for him.

2. He is trying to satisfy his client, which means working me fast, which increases the possibility of mistakes.

And I think what has happened is that I am afraid of talking to him, and think he will lose his shit if I give him the answer he doesn't want to hear.

Basically I've been walking on eggshells around him because he hasn't been very approachable lately. And I think I have internalized that and now it has sort of manifested in me making impulsive or frantic decisions out of fear.

I wasn't always like this. I had a boss that sort of had a temperament as well 6 years ago and I would constantly freeze. But now instead of freezing I am constantly reacting, and I look at the decisions I make and I realize that those we're pretty stupid choices that I made in a frantic effort to not upset him.

What should I do?