Previously, I’ve started finding my style extremely bland and unappealing. Lacking in charm and enjoyability, so I decided to experiment with different stylistic choices, for the sake of possibly giving my style a more “stylized” look.
Alright, out the gate, as a Trans woman, I found getting out into life a mortifying concept a couple years ago. I thought being me would be almost sacrificial, like I’d be begging for issues if I had the audacity to just, y’know, swag out and be me. Took me a bit, but eventually I realized that very few things could actually bite me for just, being Trans.
Transphobic *people*? Fuck em.
Possibility of hate crimes? Fuck that, own a gun.
It really started there, that “Fuck em.” Mentality changed the way I view life entirely. I used to be so damn jumpy constantly. Granted, I had unmedicated anxiety, and meds have definitely helped me mellow out and stop caring as much. But still, I caged myself up over… invisible internet nonsense. Some dickhead in my TikTok comments calling me a Troon doesn’t actually do anything. And that guy’s either 13, or just a loser. Breaking the Internet away from my perception of reality helped me dismantle all the doomerisms in my thought processes. Like, giving a fuck is totally optional, doesn’t pay me a dime, and really only serves to up my cortisol levels. Why the hell would I do that? Caring what other people think of my lifestyle hasn’t paid me a penny. As long as I have credibility in the things that matter, anybody who’s serious about anything doesn’t care what’s between my legs.
I guess just, seeing a lot of trans folk constantly dooming made me eventually ask, “why would I care about any of that?” like, of course, being trans is a factor of my being. No shit. But… why would I stress myself thinking about what *other* people think of me? People with opinions don’t pay me. Dude’s screaming TTD on Twitter don’t pay me, and they probably don’t even get paid. All the politico bullshit of modern society is built to make you care about nonexistent bullshit that doesn’t actually affect you. Until some jackass with an opinion decides to actually get physical, a single transphobe isn’t even worth entertaining.
So, fuck em.
Bills to pay, bills to pay.
That, and I’m happy. I’m with a girl I love, doing a job I don’t particularly hate for a paycheck that makes me at least fake loving it, I’m damn good at the things I want to succeed in, and most importantly, I got swag up the ass and out the mouth. I’m a fucking G.
So yeah, there’s flickers of ignorance and self- absorption in the mindset, but who wouldn’t want to be absorbed in me? I’m awesome./j
People gotta learn how to just live unapologetically. It’ll improve your quality of living by miles.