u/Wooden_Bug_755

What’s your thoughts on everyone chipping in and paying for the bride to be on her hen?

So for context I’m going abroad for my hen and have paid my own way for this (I had no issue with this part) however I feel I was sort of pushed I guess into booking some activities for while we’re there. I mean I would’ve been happy just going with the flow and whatnot but anyway they’re booked now.

I don’t know I just kind of thought the hens would have maybe chipped in to pay for my activities, or am I just being totally unreasonable and sounding like a diva 🤣 it would’ve been around an extra £18 for them all if they’d have chipped in.

Any hen I’ve been on we’ve always chipped in for the bride. And when we went abroad for one of my friends hens her mum and dad paid her way but we all split the costs of her activities.

My fiancé hasn’t paid a penny for his stag do (also abroad) as they’ve all split the price for him.

Maybe I’m just feeling a bit jealous! I mean it’s done now and I’ve paid so just having a vent. But do you think I’m being unreasonable 😅

Trying to explain to men the things we need to deal with and think about daily is exhausting.

So I had an incident yesterday when I was walking home (broad daylight, middle of the afternoon) of a man and some really odd behaviour. To the point I had to change the route I was walking and quickly pull my phone out and pretend someone was calling and loudly tell them exactly where I was and where I was going due to the overwhelming uneasy gut feeling that this man would have followed me if I didn’t (genuinely has a man ever had to do this)

I was walking on a quiet-ish street away from the main road, I deliberately moved away from the main road and onto this street as it was a really hot sunny day and the sun was beating down and this street was slightly more shaded. It’s a narrow road and pavement as lots of cars are on the pavement. There was another woman up ahead of me with a buggy and there was no one else on the street at this point. As we got further up the street there’s a gate with an entrance to a public park and as we got nearer I saw there was a man there just sort of leaning on the bollard outside of the entrance (the way he was leaning was blocking the entrance). I didn’t think much of it at first. I wasn’t planning on going into the park I was planning on walking straight past to a quieter and even shadier (as in lots of trees) part of the street which is genuinely just a short couple of minutes and then back onto the main road.

So as the woman got closer to the entrance the man was looking at her really strangely, not a quick glance, like staring intensely at her and made no attempt to start moving out of the way (as he was blocking the entrance as she needed to get by with the buggy). At first he didn’t see me and I presume he thought the woman was alone in the street with no one else around but the minute he clocked me behind her he sort of started acting even more strange and fidgeting and moved away from the entrance and stepped onto the middle of the road essentially blocking the way that I wanted to walk. As soon as the other woman got into the park and out of sight he immediately started staring at me the same way he did her and the uneasy gut feeling doubled down instantly. I knew I couldn’t walk past him as I said it’s a really narrow street and I’d have had to have squeezed really closely beside him to get past, and then I’d be walking into a different part of the street where there was absolutely nobody around. I quickly pulled my phone out pretending it was ringing and loudly said that I was just walking into the park and pretended I was on the phone while I walked in. I had to turn my head to the side so that I could still see him in my peripheral vision as I wasn’t fully in the park and around other people yet and didn’t want to turn right around, just wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible. Genuinely my heart was beating out of my chest and felt like I was holding my breath until I finally got into the park and saw other people. At this point I turned around and he’d gone.

I was on edge the whole walk home after this. I’m aware there technically wasn’t a crime committed here but I still reported it. So I then posted about this on my towns local Facebook page to warn other women and my god the comments from some men are truly exhausting. Slating me because “the poor guy” was apparently just trying to go on a walk (he wasn’t, he was loitering around the entrance blocking the paths of women and intimidating them). There were actual other men managing to walk around the park alone without intimidating women.

But it’s got me really angry honestly. Every woman I know has a story like this or similar where they’ve had a bad gut feeling about a man or a situation and they’ve had to change their route or they’ve had to do something to and protect themselves even if technically “nothing” has happened. It’s bad enough there are men out there like this, but the men excusing his behaviour are just as bad.

Rewatching and towards the end of season 8 is just really not great is it.

Who on earth thought that superhero episode was a good idea?! The whole episode is soooo cringe I really struggle to get through it.

And then the next episode it’s Valentine’s Day and Brooke and Julian’s whooole day of cringy roleplay, why is that necessary?! Chuck performing showtunes to Chase, genuinely what is happening these past few episodes 😳🫣

Quinn and Clay honestly just make me cringe with their over the top constant “my baby” this “my baby” that.

I’m clearly just on a rant tonight 🤣

So we’re having a small laidback budget friendly wedding of 31 people (including ourselves). We’ve been to so many big weddings over the years where it’s so traditional and strict with timelines and it’s a very long day and we both decided that’s just not us. We absolutely hate being the centre of attention which is why we’re just having a small wedding.

So we’ve hired a big lodge/house for us and our closest family/friends for the night before the wedding and the wedding night instead of a proper wedding venue.

It will still be traditional wedding in terms of we will all be dressed like a normal wedding, we’ll have a celebrant and we’ll have our ceremony, photographer and caterer (although a more laidback buffet rather than traditional 3 course meal) and then a party. However everything else will be DIY. We’re not having a DJ, we’re just planning on doing different Spotify playlists for different parts of the day. We’ll do our own decor and lights. The place is already really lovely so it will be sort of minimal decor just table runners and faux flowers and lights. We’re just providing a whole load of alcohol/soft drinks and guests can also bring their own if they want because it’s a self-catering lodge.

Has anyone had a wedding like this and can tell me how it went? I know this is what we want but I have a sort of worry at the back of my mind like oh a wedding coordinator or something would be a great help here or how do we make it work smoothly when we’re doing it all ourselves? Hiring anymore vendors, staff etc is not in our budget so we need to just make it amazing ourselves.

Essentially what we want is to just have a lovely day with great food, drinks and a great party with our loved ones. No stressing, no strictness, no waiting about for ages.

I keep thinking about silly things like who will play the music at the ceremony and who will play the music when we walk into the reception part and our first dance etc. Who will “announce” things, do we even need announcements because it’s such a small chilled wedding. I mean I know we can delegate one of our friends or family to do these things and they’d be totally fine with it but I still have this slight concern!

Anyone who has had a wedding like this before or have been to a wedding like this before please tell me it all went great 🤣🤞🏼

So here’s some shows I’ve watched and enjoyed lately and am looking for shows with these similar vibes (or even a film)

Off campus, heated rivalry, the summer I turned pretty, maxton hall, heartstopper, normal people (although I will say normal people is in my eyes on a completely different level than the rest of these shows in terms of acting, quality and chemistry) but you get the vibe I’m going for.

I just finished watching the series and I actually enjoyed it. I mean it’s definitely really cheesy and cringy at a lot of parts.

It’s really lacking that 90’s nostalgia. I actually forgot often that it’s supposed to be set in the 90’s until things like when she was watching tv or on the phone. But it still didn’t feel like it was set in that time at all.

I don’t really love any of the characters. Elle’s definitely my favourite. The actress does a great job and Elle is really trying her best. She sort of grated on me at the start where I found myself cringing thinking to myself “please stop talking” 🙊 I think it was one of the scenes where she was raising her hand to ask the teacher these constant ridiculous questions and I’m like Elle please read the room and let the man get on with his lesson. But I did grow to really like her as it went on.

I hated how really rubbish everyone was to her when she first arrived. Especially Kimberley. I really didn’t like her at all even as the series went on she still didn’t grow on me.

I liked Liz for the most part. >!I just didn’t like how easily she turned on Elle after the whole drama when Shannon came back and with the Cosmo essay. This girl just did so much for your mum and this is how you treat her? I hated how they all treated her after that. I actually was so happy that Dustin stood up for her by saying how loyal she is, to then flip flop seconds later and change his mind. That was super disappointing.!<

And Miles - >!telling Shannon that they kissed at her mums memorial. I get it’s for drama purposes but honestly on what planet was that a good idea?! I’m really not rooting for Elle/Miles. You’re literally just out of a relationship, I mean not to mention the way you’re acting with Elle while you’re still IN said relationship.!<

I’m not even particularly rooting for Elle/Dustin either. I feel like I was but he’s just so very dramatic at times. >!And the way he turns on her and then has the absolute audacity when she leaves to say she gave up. I hate the way they all treated her at that point. She tried to reach out and got ignored, what more can a person do?!<

>!I just really hate the way it ended. I hope next season that she gets a proper apology from everyone. They don’t deserve her honestly.!<

I’m due to get married 1st May 2027 and don’t have my dress yet. Haven’t even started looking.

I’m subconsciously putting it off for two reasons. 1) I’m trying to lose weight and it’s coming off very very slowly. I don’t want to try on beautiful dresses when I don’t feel my best y’know? Although I know I just need to get over that and do it, and I probably will feel beautiful once I’m trying dresses on.

2. I lost my mum unexpectedly 4 years ago (before I was engaged) and this is something I would have done with her. It’s already heartbreaking that she won’t see me get married but I feel like dress shopping is just something I desperately wish I could do with her.

I actually don’t really know why I’m posting this honestly probably just venting a little bit! I know I need to get a move on and just go and do it but I feel like I’ve got this stupid mental block stopping me from doing it! Any tips or advice for anyone who has felt similar?

Having a rewatch and on the episode where Julian holds a poker night whilst trying to choose his best man and Alex is there.

Now I don’t particularly like Alex as a character but the absolute slt shaming from Chase in front of everyone is wild. Like you’re actively calling this girl (who apparently you liked) a slt in front of a whole table of men, who of course didn’t once step in and say “hey that might be a bit too far”. Even more so you’re doing this in front of Nathan and Clay who are well known to also have been “around”

Then when they all leave and Alex is crying and says Chase was just mean all night and Julian says “oh I didn’t think it was bothering you, you seemed fine” like yeah I’ve been absolutely humiliated and sl*t shamed all night by my ex boyfriend in front of everyone but yeah I’m fine! 😅

Listen I know it’s a TV show, but it’s so real the way women are shamed for this but not the men. It’s crazy rewatching as an adult and picking up on things like this

So I’m having a Harry love on tour themed hen do next year. We’re going to a restaurant for brunch and cocktails (and then wherever the night takes us!) looking for some ideas and tips please?

I’m thinking disco, sequins, bright colours, glitter, flares, feathers, tassels - all that good stuff! 🪩🌈🌺✨

Was thinking of asking the restaurant about signature cocktails, so cherry, kiwi and watermelon sugar inspired! 🍉🍹 any other suggestions?

As the bride to be I’d like to wear white, but also incorporate the theme in but struggling what to wear!

Weddings really do bring the worst out in some brides. So many posts recently about people wanting to drop their bridesmaids - people they’ve been friends with for years - because they aren’t “doing enough” or they’re not “showing enough support”

Since when did asking someone to be a bridesmaid become anything more than them standing with you on the day of your wedding or organising your hen do or at least helping you with it.

Literally the only thing I’ve asked of my bridesmaids is to help with organising my hen do, which we all done together. To choose their dresses and then turn up on the day and stand with me while I get married.

I really do think some brides need to check themselves and remember that your wedding is nowhere near as important to anyone else than it is to you. People have their own lives and things going on. And remember why you asked these girls to be your bridesmaids in the first place before you want to “drop them” for silly reasons.

What songs had EVERYONE up dancing at your wedding? Or what song would have you up immediately to dance if you were at someone else’s wedding?

We’re doing our own Spotify playlists for the wedding instead of a DJ so trying to make sure I don’t miss any absolute bangers! 💃🏼

So I’m having a Harry Styles themed hen do next year. We’re going to a restaurant for brunch and cocktails (and then wherever the night takes us!) looking for some ideas and tips please?

I’m thinking disco, sequins, bright colours, glitter, flares, feathers, tassels - all that good stuff! 🪩🌈🌺✨

Was thinking of asking the restaurant about signature cocktails, so cherry, kiwi and watermelon sugar inspired! 🍉🍹 any other suggestions?

As the bride to be I’d like to wear white, but also incorporate the theme in but I’m struggling with what to wear!

I don’t know what it is but I never usually watch anything when it’s currently trending and everyone’s talking about it. I’m usually about 10 years late to the game and then occasionally I’m like oh yeah, I get the hype now.

Some examples of things I’ve never watched and honestly probably never will; game of thrones/house of the dragon, power, squid game, bridgerton, the vampire diaries, the walking dead, white lotus, greys anatomy, the last of us, this is us, 13 reasons why, handsmaids tale. Honestly there’s probably so much more.

I’m also really rubbish at finishing shows. I’ve never finished the bear, OITNB, pretty little liars (honestly lost interest in this and the ridiculous storylines), You, riverdale

Any of these in particular I’m missing out on and are a MUST watch?

We’re having a small wedding of 30 people. We’ve hired a big self catering house/manor type place rather than a proper wedding venue and we’re doing lots of DIY etc. Not your traditional wedding. Very laid back and essentially just ceremony and then party with our nearest and dearest.

Instead of a DJ we’re planning on just making Spotify playlists for different parts of the day e.g for the ceremony and then while we’re eating and then a separate party playlist. Anyone done this before and how did it go? Any tips?

So I’m getting married next year and we have booked a big self catering house as it’s only a small wedding (30 people) and we want something very laid back and relaxed and budget friendly. So essentially it’s a weekend away with our nearest and dearest and we will be getting married during it. It’s about 2 hours 40 mins away from where we live and people will be travelling up to stay the night before and the night of the wedding. Everyone has paid towards their room for the 2 nights. We also haven’t put a bus on as everyone is coming from completely different places.

We will be providing food the morning of the wedding (probably just breakfast rolls) and then we are having a buffet for the wedding meal. We’ll also have some snacks like a crisp/nuts/sweets bucket etc.

However because it’s self catering and not a proper wedding venue with a bar, we’ve opted for BYOB. We will be providing bottles of Prosecco/wine/soft drinks for the speeches etc but thought the best option was for everyone to bring their own drink of choice of what they wanted for the night instead of us trying to cater for everyone’s needs and avoid any extra stress or drama and costs (this one only drinks this brand and blah blah).

We also said on our wedding website that as it’s self-catering there will be fridges available if people wanted to bring their own food for the Friday (the day before the wedding).

So I’ve just found out that some of my family members have been moaning about the fact that they’re having to travel and there won’t even be a bar and that they’ve to bring their own booze, as well as having to bring their own food for the Friday.

I am very much of the opinion of “let them” and if you want to moan about it you do you, we’re doing what’s best for us and what we want because it is our day.

But I’m curious what everyone else thinks on the food/drink front if you were a guest? I personally would be totally fine with this if I was invited to someone else’s wedding like this. If it was a hotel/proper wedding venue and everyone came the night before I wouldn’t expect the bride and groom to feed me the day before I would organise that myself. It would be different if I was expecting guests to feed themselves on the actual wedding day. And as for the drink side I would completely understand that there’s no bar and the decision of the bride and groom for people to just bring whatever they want to drink.

What’s everyone’s thoughts?

Ugh I’m on season 7 episode 18 where Lydia comes back to tell the girls she’s dying and I am sobbing 😭

I always cried my eyes out at this anyway but this is the first time I’ve rewatched this season since my own mum died and it’s hitting differently.

Haleys line “when I’m sad or mad or happy or whatever, I call you and I need you to be here.” to Lydia cuts me deep! The accuracy 💔

I know what’s coming and with Haleys depression after Lydia’s death it’s all too familiar. This is going to be a tough watch. Losing your mum truly does change you as a person.

I am totally in my feelings tonight and need to vent. Also sorry in advance but this is long. Just feel like I really need to get it off my chest!

So I’m part of a group of 4 girls that as of late has been… broken I guess. Myself and another girl of this group became really close a few years ago, best friends really or so I thought. Until about a year ago she decided to treat me really terribly as she had found a new friend. Started ignoring me and only sending snapchats of her being on nights out and things with her new friend instead of replying to the actual things I was saying. This went on for quite a while until I eventually confronted her about this and how I was sick of her ignoring me when I’m trying to speak to her and basically she got extremely defensive and essentially accused me of being needy (like I’m sorry that I expect a basic reply from my apparent best friend when I try and talk to you?!) and when I was in the middle of trying to chat to her about this situation, she went on to ignore me for days on end ironically. So I basically told her I’m not interested in being friends with someone who treats me like that. And we haven’t really spoken since. I honestly expected for weeks after that she would reach out and acknowledge and apologise for the way she treated me, but she never did. Honestly I hold a lot of resentment for her about this. I truly don’t miss her as a friend (or person) though, because who needs friends like that.

Anyway, the issue is that being part of this group of 4 made it a weird and awkward situation for the other two girls as they were sort of stuck in the middle (one of the girls is her sister-in-law) but both girls agreed with me when I told them what happened that it was crazy what she did and that it seems to be a recurring pattern for her in life (with friendships and relationships). I said to the girls that I didn’t want it to be awkward for them but that I wasn’t interested in being around her anymore. Unfortunately I have since been around her a few times for special occasions for the other girls (birthdays, baby showers etc) and we haven’t really spoken we tend to sit at opposite ends.

I had asked all four girls to be my bridesmaids next year (although obviously now said girl who is no longer my friend is no longer a bridesmaid) but the other two are and we’re due to go abroad for my hen do later this year. The thing is though both girls have recently given birth and were pregnant at the same time and so have really bonded (totally understandable) but because of this I’m feeling totally left out. I rarely get to see the other two girls because obviously they’re busy with their babies, but they spend a lot of time together with the babies (again I get it, but it’s still rubbish feeling left out). They’ve also met up as a three with the girl I’m no longer friends with, I mean probably lots of times but I saw a picture where I clearly wasn’t invited when they were all drinking at cocktails at one of the girls houses. That got me in my feelings a lot. But I dunno maybe I can’t really say anything about that because I have met up for lunch a few times with the girls without the old friend.

Anyway, the whole point of this is that there’s a day out planned this weekend for the 4 of us which unfortunately I forgot all about as it was booked a long time ago before we stopped being friends. They’re talking about it int be group chat and all sound excited and talking about where to meet beforehand for some pre-drinks etc and honestly I’ve just been ignoring the chat for days. I honestly don’t want to go. I don’t want to be around this girl that I’m not friends with any longer. I don’t want to hear her talk about her life, I’m not interested. I don’t want to talk about my life in front of her, I feel like she doesn’t deserve to know anything about me anymore. I mean I’m a grown woman I should be able to protect my peace and not be around people who don’t bring me joy. I haven’t seen the other girls for a while now and as much as I’d like to see them and catch up with them, not like this. Because I can’t talk wedding excitement with them, I can’t talk about things I’ve been going through, I feel like I just can’t talk freely to them about what I want to. But on the other hand I already feel like I’m drifting away from them. And I don’t want to not go to this day out and then it makes everything worse.

I’m angry because this other girl is just talking away in the group chat excitedly about the day out, and she’s obviously still seeing the other girls. I feel like I’m the one that’s been ostracised when I’m not the one who caused this. She’s the one who created the weird split in this group yet she’s the one acting like she truly doesn’t care and she’s unaffected by it.

What would you do if you were me?

Thanks if you made it this far! I’m drained just typing this out and then reading it again, what a rubbish situation.

How many times over all seasons does Dan just appear in the high school and on what planet would this be allowed 🤣

Like I get when he was mayor maybe, but I’m currently watching season 7 and both him and Rachel are just cutting about the school hallways during the night. An ex-prisoner no less 🤣 and not to mention the previous times he just appears like when Nathan and Q are working on the comeback. Who’s letting him in? Where’s everyone else? Why are you roaming the school halls alone?