u/Zetophir

I am getting married next week and illness is hitting HARD at my work. With my job I am required to be in close proximity to my coworkers, and a lot of them are sick and not staying home, not wearing masks, not covering their coughs and sneezes or handwashing. If I haven’t already gotten sick by now I am hoping to avoid catching it next week. I have been washing my hands diligently, avoiding going out after work, doing my best to stay away from my sick colleagues and I am considering wearing a mask all next week.

Am I overthinking this? I feel like no matter what happens nothing could spoil my day, besides being incredibly ill haha. Any other tips for brides getting married in cold and flu season?

I’m getting married in a few weeks and I am very excited but also very nervous. It has been a very stressful time due to our families all having different wants for the wedding. In an attempt to please everyone, it feels like i’ve just made everyone upset. We decided on a small wedding of literally just parents, siblings (2 total) , grandparents (2 total), and 3 friends. It has been an absolute mess trying to plan something that we like while also on a really tight budget and putting our guests first. We covered hotel rooms for everyone, outfits for most people, and did not ask or expect anything monetarily or work wise from our guests.

After 1,000,000 complaints we finally have everything finalized. My sister quit her job last week and enrolled in a school program and took on a new part time job. I have no problems with this but she sent me a text letting me know that expecting her to attend the wedding was unreasonable given she could be spending those days working/ doing schoolwork. I also asked her to get an appropriate outfit since she has none (and I paid of course with not restrictions on color/ style) just go to the store and get something nice. She has refused to do so and called me a bridezilla who cares more about photos than family. We aren’t speaking currently because she said she is too stressed to have a relationship right now.

Now, my mom is warning me that my sister either might not come or if she does come, she will possibly have an emotional breakdown and cause a scene. And because my sister has class the next day, I have to cancel the morning after brunch I planned for the families since it would just be my fiancés family. My parents can’t come since they are leaving at 6am sharp to drive her to class. I can’t help but feeling a little frustrated since I feel like I only asked people to show up and apparently that’s too hard for them. And I want to be understanding about her classes/ work but we called every person and scheduled a wedding day that worked for them, not us, and instead of being respectful about this being a big deal for me she is saying I am being mean and too demanding. My mom wants me to promise that if my sister can’t make it to the wedding or goes and is mean/ causes my parents to comfort her vs being present for me that I’ll be forgiving. AITA for not being understanding of the situation?

I am getting married in October and frankly our families have been a huge mess throughout the whole thing. I won’t get into a lot of it but essentially my family has struggled with the attire. Our dress code is semi-formal and we are pretty relaxed on that, we let family know anything in the dressy casual to cocktail range worked and no one has any assigned or prohibited colors (besides white obviously). Our goal was to not make anyone buy anything new but unfortunately it became clear that my family has either never attended weddings or it has been over 30 years for some of them.

My mom and I went shopping together and we were able to find something we both loved, but that was only after she had sent me a picture of her favorite sweatpants and asked if she could wear those 🙃. I offered to go shopping with my sister but she was not interested. (She is pretty tomboy/ not into clothes or makeup where I am more girly). She also knows a dress, suit, and jumpsuit are all ok as my MOH is not wearing a dress either and we talked about it.

The problem I am having is it’s feeling like I’m having to beg people to show up for me. Everyone has complained nonstop about the location, dress code, time of year, etc and it’s making me feel like garbage. I offered to pay for my sisters dress if she could find something for $100 or less (what I usually spend on bridesmaid dresses). She also just quit her job so I know money is extra tight. However, she recently went low contact with me due to me saying “good luck!” finding a job because she said it felt like I was mocking her. I explained I was trying to be supportive and it might not have been conveyed well over text. (not sure if relevant but she has autism)

Now I want to revoke my offer to pay because

1. she quit her job because she just didn’t feel like doing it anymore, not like something truly awful happened or she got fired/ laid off.
2. I have specifically made my wedding as easy as possible for people including paying for everyone’s lodging
3. I feel buying an appropriate outfit for a wedding is a reasonable ask for a 20 something year old
4. the low contact thing really hurt my feelings and why should I bend over backwards for people who don’t care.
5. I am working with a $5k budget for my whole wedding so I obviously have had to make huge sacrifices and have skipped 2 family weddings this year because finances are so tight. I also have student debt to pay off while she does not.

So, AITA for revoking the offer to pay for my sister’s guest dress?

Hello! I am getting married in October near Lake Placid. Does anyone have any recommendations of where I can get a bridal hair style done?

Extremely long sort of update for everyone asking 2 years ago how this was going to play out. I am the fiancee of the best man/brother in this story.

They got engaged about 2 years ago and there has been drama since they sent out their save the dates. First, the grooms brother was supposed to be the best man in the wedding. Unfortunately the wedding was a really expensive destination wedding abroad in Italy and the best man wasn’t doing well financially so could only commit to a “maybe” RSVP at that time. On top of that, the brother had gotten engaged himself and was planning his own wedding.

After getting more details about the wedding the brother said he could attend but would likely need some help. Either that or accept he couldn’t be able to make it. He promised to support them in any way he could and attend any event/ celebration they had in their home state. The bride and groom stated that they promised each other they wouldn’t spend “a single cent” helping anyone attend. Fair enough, but they also would not accept his brother would not be there.

Before they sent out their save the dates the groom asked his brother when his own wedding was planned for (brother got engaged before groom) and he said Summer or Fall 2026. Groom also wanted to get married 2026 so asked brother to push his wedding out one more year. Freaked out and refused to show up to Christmas with the family after hearing his brother was moving forward as planned.

Groom asked brother in November to plan his bachelor party for July. Brother said yes of course but can we talk about it in December/ January as I have a very busy November with wedding planning. Groom said if he really cared he would have dropped everything to plan it that moment so he was revoking the offer. Ended up getting a coworker to plan it (no one invited to the bachelor party was invited to the wedding and his brother certainly wasn’t invited).

Bride and Groom announced they were hosting a local church wedding for those that they couldn’t invite to Italy. Sent out some invites in December, held the brothers back until brother apologized for “wronging them”. They said if he had funds to pay for a wedding he had funds to attend theirs. When he explained the brides family was paying in full and it was a chill dinner party, they didn’t care. Gave him an invite to the church wedding, at least.

After a conversation about how to share a guest bedroom during Christmas, groom went full on crash out. Told brother and brothers fiancee (me) to go fuck themselves, he’s done with the relationship, he’s choosing to stop caring, families are effortless and safe and so we don’t deserve to be his family. A few months later, revoked the church ceremony invitation after the brother had already RSVPd yes citing unresolved tensions. Gave a 10- numbered list of all the things the brother had done wrong including not making an effort to attend his destination wedding, stealing his wedding year, stuff about a guest bedroom and Christmas party and finally using the same suit vendor (grooms father paid for both his sons suits). Said he would re invite if brother groveled.

They uninvited several family members from the church wedding citing lack of space. (I went, there was plenty of space). They demanded it not be called a wedding as they wanted to keep their destination wedding as the one people remember. Groom changed his name to the brides (not inherently an issue however he stated it was because her family “does more” for him aka is richer). MOG cried.

They hosted a bridal shower and invited every family member they could, most of which had not gotten an invite to either wedding (or had been previously invited but then uninvited to the church ceremony) This did not go over well with the more traditional family members. Registry included new house fund (they already own a house), honeymoon fund (they are taking a 6 week honeymoon abroad).

The grooms family who were invited to the destination wedding included his parents and 2 cousins (neither of which were allowed to bring their husbands). The groom forced his mom to wear dark grey despite her crying about it. She said the color depressed her for such a gorgeous summer wedding and she would wear anything else as long as it was a color. They said you wear grey or you’re not allowed to be in photos. They invited his dad to be a groomsman and get ready with them, leaving his mom to get ready alone the day of. Oh, and he also made his parents bring back his tux despite them needing carry on space for their trip the week after since he sold his wedding as an opportunity for an abroad trip for everyone.

A few days after his wedding the groom texted his brother that he will not be able to attend the wedding later this year. He will be too tired from his honeymoon and it is unrealistic to expect him to drive a few hours to attend a wedding during his own wedding year.

The wedding happened and the photos are insanely gorgeous. Easily a 100k wedding. The bride had 2 extravagant dresses and 2 hair and makeup looks, fresh flowers everywhere including orchids, fireworks, private boat ride, live orchestra, videography, 2 photographers since they couldn’t decide on style. And yet the groom does not have one family member that is not mad at him.

Extremely long sort of update for everyone asking 2 years ago how this was going to play out. I am the fiancee of the best man/brother in this story.

They got engaged about 2 years ago and there has been drama since they sent out their save the dates. First, the grooms brother was supposed to be the best man in the wedding. Unfortunately the wedding was a really expensive destination wedding abroad in Italy and the best man wasn’t doing well financially so could only commit to a “maybe” RSVP at that time. On top of that, the brother had gotten engaged himself and was planning his own wedding.

After getting more details about the wedding the brother said he could attend but would likely need some help. Either that or accept he couldn’t be able to make it. He promised to support them in any way he could and attend any event/ celebration they had in their home state. The bride and groom stated that they promised each other they wouldn’t spend “a single cent” helping anyone attend. Fair enough, but they also would not accept his brother would not be there.

Before they sent out their save the dates the groom asked his brother when his own wedding was planned for (brother got engaged before groom) and he said Summer or Fall 2026. Groom also wanted to get married 2026 so asked brother to push his wedding out one more year. Freaked out and refused to show up to Christmas with the family after hearing his brother was moving forward as planned.

Groom asked brother in November to plan his bachelor party for July. Brother said yes of course but can we talk about it in December/ January as I have a very busy November with wedding planning. Groom said if he really cared he would have dropped everything to plan it that moment so he was revoking the offer. Ended up getting a coworker to plan it (no one invited to the bachelor party was invited to the wedding and his brother certainly wasn’t invited).

Bride and Groom announced they were hosting a local church wedding for those that they couldn’t invite to Italy. Sent out some invites in December, held the brothers back until brother apologized for “wronging them”. They said if he had funds to pay for a wedding he had funds to attend theirs. When he explained the brides family was paying in full and it was a chill dinner party, they didn’t care. Gave him an invite to the church wedding, at least.

After a conversation about how to share a guest bedroom during Christmas, groom went full on crash out. Told brother and brothers fiancee (me) to go fuck themselves, he’s done with the relationship, he’s choosing to stop caring, families are effortless and safe and so we don’t deserve to be his family. A few months later, revoked the church ceremony invitation after the brother had already RSVPd yes citing unresolved tensions. Gave a 10- numbered list of all the things the brother had done wrong including not making an effort to attend his destination wedding, stealing his wedding year, stuff about a guest bedroom and Christmas party and finally using the same suit vendor (grooms father paid for both his sons suits). Said he would re invite if brother groveled.

They uninvited several family members from the church wedding citing lack of space. (I went, there was plenty of space). They demanded it not be called a wedding as they wanted to keep their destination wedding as the one people remember. Groom changed his name to the brides (not inherently an issue however he stated it was because her family “does more” for him aka is richer). MOG cried.

They hosted a bridal shower and invited every family member they could, most of which had not gotten an invite to either wedding (or had been previously invited but then uninvited to the church ceremony) This did not go over well with the more traditional family members. Registry included new house fund (they already own a house), honeymoon fund (they are taking a 6 week honeymoon abroad).

The grooms family who were invited to the destination wedding included his parents and 2 cousins (neither of which were allowed to bring their husbands). The groom forced his mom to wear dark grey despite her crying about it. She said the color depressed her for such a gorgeous summer wedding and she would wear anything else as long as it was a color. They said you wear grey or you’re not allowed to be in photos. They invited his dad to be a groomsman and get ready with them, leaving his mom to get ready alone the day of. Oh, and he also made his parents bring back his tux despite them needing carry on space for their trip the week after since he sold his wedding as an opportunity for an abroad trip for everyone.

A few days after his wedding the groom texted his brother that he will not be able to attend the wedding later this year. He will be too tired from his honeymoon and it is unrealistic to expect him to drive a few hours to attend a wedding during his own wedding year.

The wedding happened and the photos are insanely gorgeous. Easily a 100k wedding. The bride had 2 extravagant dresses and 2 hair and makeup looks, fresh flowers everywhere including orchids, fireworks, private boat ride, live orchestra, videography, 2 photographers since they couldn’t decide on style. And yet the groom does not have one family member that is not mad at him.

My wedding is happening in October with an RSVP date of the end of September. Everyone has already let me know if they are coming or not. Should I wait until the deadline passes to finalize things or just go for it now to get it out of the way? I have some family members that said no and I am not sure if we should wait to see if they change their mind

Looking for a florist recommendation around the Ithaca area! Live in Freeville and traveling to Lake Placid for my wedding in October. Hoping to find a florist that’s open on a Sunday so I can grab a bouquet on the way!

I want to preface by saying I have been trying to be super chill about wedding attire and I have a bridezilla in my life who I swore I would never be like. All we asked is that people make an attempt to meet the dress code which we chose semi formal. We stated it was flexible and anything from dressy casual to cocktail was ok.

Unfortunately my mom is a really casual woman and keeps asking me if she can wear outfits that look horrid like sweatpants level formality. I really don’t want to be mean but idk what to do. We went shopping together and picked out a dress but she says she doesn’t want to wear it anymore. Is there anything else I can do/ a way I can handle this kindly or should I say go ahead with the sweatpants?

If one child ends up kind, helpful, selfless etc and the other entitled, selfish and cruel why could that be? Does it have anything to do with parenting and how they are raised or do those kinds of things come from birth?

I wear a women’s 10 wide in just about everything and I ordered a pair size 10 and I’m SWIMMING in them. I want to get the right size since they are super cute but I measured and according to the website I’m a 7 which can’t be right. Does anyone who has ordered from here think going down to a 9 will be enough? I’d like to not have to pay return shipping a bunch of times.

Has anyone ordered invitations through the Knot and what was the shipping time? I ordered invites June 8 hoping to get them out early/mid July and they still aren’t here. When I reached out to customer service they just said invitations typically arrive in 7-10 days, they have been shipped, they’ll come soon. When should I panic and order invites elsewhere?

I have a wedding coming up and only need a bridal bouquet (thankfully). We are doing no decor. I was going to just order a bouquet from a florist to save stress but a tiny bouquet was $350 where I am! I am not picky but I have never arranged flowers so I was wondering if there were any tips/ things to pay attention to from people who have DIY their flowers. I’m going to need to get them 1-2 days before and travel in a car 5-6 hours with them.

My parents have asked me to pet sit for a few weeks including 2 weeks straight when they are out of country on vacation. For context I WFH so technically I can do my work at their house it’s just I only have a laptop and not my full equipment. I live over 1.5 hours away so pet sitting isn’t something I can just stop by quickly and do, it requires overnights. They have 3 cats and 1 elderly dog in a small 1 br house, and only 2 litter boxes. The dog requires frequent medications. I have offered to come by on a weekend when I am off but they really are looking for a pet sitter for the whole duration.

The next time coming up is the 4th holiday. My 30th birthday is that week so my wife took off work and let me know she will have to reschedule plans if I pet sit but it is my call. I don’t ask them for much and when I do they usually say no (wouldn’t help me move a few years ago) and we have no pets or kids so this isn’t a quid pro quo type of thing. I am unsure whether this is just something families do for each other or if this is something it is ok to say no to. AITAH for telling my parents I won’t pet sit even though I technically could?

To preface I don’t really like my future SIL at all. I’ve tried very hard over the last few years to build a relationship with her but she is not interested. I remember what she likes/ dislikes, things about her work and school and genuinely take an interest in her life. She remembers nothing about me, sends rude text messages to me and my partner, and gave me pot holders for Christmas. She is well off and has been living with her future husband for a bit so I am having a hard time coming up with something for the bridal shower. Her birthday and bridal shower is coming up in June and I thought pearls would be nice. Would this be enough?

I have my wedding coming up this year and so do my future BIL/SIL. Next month is my fiancés family’s annual summer party and his family is urging us to be friends again so I want to know if I am wrong. We both got engaged within a week of each other so I don’t think it was surprising that our wedding dates will be close together. We have been waiting to get married until we started working and lived together for a bit and got older as we met in college. We decided that summer or fall 2026 worked best for us with a preferred date in October but we could be flexible. The problem was that when my fiancé talked to his brother, they also were planning on October 2026. I figured no worries if they do the fall we can just move it to the summer.

They sent out their save the dates and they booked a summer wedding abroad. We couldn’t afford an abroad trip and we let them know and obviously this upset them a lot but the real drama came when we announced our date. We decided to move forward with our plan of fall 2026 and our wedding is going to be about 9 weeks after theirs. They BLEW UP in the family group chat and went low contact over the holidays. Little did I know my fiancé had “agreed” to the couples having their weddings in different years, and apparently both him and his brother thought they “claimed” 2026. Now I think this whole wedding year thing is insane and there is plenty of time between both weddings. The guest overlap is literally 6 people including us 4. His parents did ask for the weddings to be in different years but I don’t think that’s fair to ask of anyone.

However his mom especially is freaking out about us resolving our differences before the family party and is saying we are “both at fault” for the damaged relationship but I feel like we did nothing wrong and I have no interest in a relationship with such mean people. They have sent us many mean text messages telling us how awful we but and IMO we have been very supportive and understanding of them during the wedding planning process.

My partner and I are both IMO fairly caring people who put others first. The problem is that some members of his family are the opposite (especially his mom and brother). There have been several times over the last few years of dating that he’s asked me to do something I don’t want to do for the sake of making his family happy since they throw such big tantrums. This happens often around holidays and is happening now during wedding planning. I really like how kind he is but I am frustrated that I have to compromise when his family never does. Is this something that will go away after marriage? Is it fair for me to ask him to prioritize me over his family?

I know it’s common to have a church or courthouse wedding to get the legal part done with then a destination where you still have a ceremony, do vows, reception and all that at another point. What is the second event called? Can it still be a wedding?

Hello! I’m getting married in October in NY and we were hoping to have our honeymoon within a year of marriage. However, we planned our dream honeymoon to Iceland and had to wait on that due to finances and travel anxiety. I haven’t been on a plane in about 8 years and unfortunately have developed some anxiety around flying. Long road trips are completely fine. Is there anywhere we can drive to or potentially take a short domestic flight from the northeast USA? I want to start small before we commit to a big international trip but I still want to go somewhere special. Any ideas?