u/__looking_for_things

I've never had a great dating life. I'm pretty quiet and i really had to fight to gain self esteem. About 9 years ago I moved to a place that I feel ignored as a black woman when it comes to romantic interest (it's only recently i realized this so I'm seriously considering leaving).

I've had to work for everything so I assume that I do have to work to find a partner. I go to local singles nights and I'm on Hinge (unfortunately). I'm very spotty on Hinge, I leave conversations easily, don't open the app for days either.

One of my issues is matching. Profiles don't show anything so I'm not really sure how to gauge if that's a person to match with. Even when they do fill out the profile, it doesn't say much imo. And I'm usually in different about photos.

I'm a person who needs to get to know a man before I feel real attraction which I think is part of the issue.

And so I feel silly swiping left or right on any man because I just don't know anything about them. I swipe left on certain things like smoking, party/fishing/gym pics, religious, etc.

I have money to invest but I always feel better when I learn about the topic. Any podcasts to listen to? Preferably from people who are actually former financial advisors or used to work in finance?

I'm not looking for people who are selling courses.

TiA

I'm very interested in getting a rhinoplasty in SK. I've got thick skin and a bulbous nose and high radix. I don't want a dolly nose either but something more harmonious with my facial features. However my issue is finding examples (and long term PO examples) of patients.

My main question is will I have to wait for an in person consultation to see PO photos from past clients? Clinics on my list: retmus and etonne.

I don't have skin laxity, which is why I think volume loss is the culprit for the naso folds. I lost 40 lbs last year.

Would a facial fat graft help here? I want to avoid fillers and sculptra.

I've found some posts about ROI but wanted to get some more reviews.

I'm looking at clinics/doctors like Dr. Youngjin Lee at Elite PS. His results are on his own IG page. And i just can't tell if these results are true or tricks. Anything to look out for?

I'm looking at clinics/doctors like Dr. Youngjin Lee at Elite PS. His results are on his own IG page. And i just can't tell if these results are true or tricks. Anything to look out for?

Some friends and I are popping into DC to celebrate my 42 birthday this weekend. Any recs for night time rooftops to checkout this weekend? Primarily looking for good music and maybe a semi older crowd.

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Thank you!

My dietician has been trying to get me to increase fiber and protein. And I agree I need to, I generally top out at like 85 g on a 1500 calorie diet. I'm trying to push my protein higher through food due to increase in protein powders cost.

She mentioned chia seeds and hemp seeds and all weekend I've been looking online to get an idea on recipes.

My concern is the texture. The chia puddings even with fruit and jam etc don't look appetizing and I'm squicked out by the texture.

I'm thinking smoothies but I just can't make smoothies that much all the time out of laziness honestly. 😫

So I'm just wondering if you've added chia seeds to your diet, do you like them and what's your recipe?

Edit: and now I'm finding out i have to soak them too. 😅 it may not be for me. Lol

Searching for travel pillow recs. I'm 5'7 idk if I've got a big head or heavy head or just a long neck but I really struggle finding anything that actually provides any head or neck support.

TRTL pillow. Outright uncomfortable, gave little support.

Orginal circle pillows. My head doesn't touch them and causes a big crick in my neck.

I've had one pillow that works but it was a cheap no name from primark - like store i bought at IST. It was so cheap the stuffing (little balls of something maybe styo) started to fall out immediately. But that pillow gave me the best sleep ever on flights. It was embarrassing to use due to the mess so I had to trash it.

Anything else to look at? Our even tips to consider when looking?

I always see hobbies rec'd as a way to meet people. My hobbies are pretty solo though. I admit i have made friends thru my dog but that was years ago.

So I think I'd like to hear hobbies people have that aren't so solo and have helped them build a community.

Have you met friends or a partner through your hobby?

This season I'm watching

- Nippon Sangoku (absolutely loving this one)

- Go for It, Nakamura! (Very cute)

- Witch Hat Atelier (great animation, not obsessed though)

- Kill Blue (entertaining enough)

- Marriagetoxin (funny but missed opportunity for some BL imo)

- The Warrior Princess and the Barbaric King (entertaining enough)

- Dorohedoro (very good)

What am I missing this season? TiA

I am considering a rhinoplasty in Turkey. I haven't found a US surgeon whose work I like and whose price seems worth it. I have thick skin and it'll be an ethnic rhinoplasty.

I've noticed a lot of times that new work has very pointy noses. Why?

Personally I do not want a barbie nose so I'm wonderinf if that's just a result from a barbie nose or using rib or what.

Next I'm wondering if 4-5 weeks is sufficient to look semi normal for public. I could have my surgery mid June but there's a conference i have to go to at the end of July. It'll be late nights, lots of coffee, salty and fatty foods just from going out the entire week.

Should I just have surgery after the conference in mid-august?

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I have a 5 day conference to attend. Lots of walking around the convention center and then running out to have a coffee or lunch with VIP. I'll be wearing suits (pants and skirts) for most of the conference.

I'd like to wear flats. I see other women wearing Mary jane flats and I would love to except I can't really wear flats 🙃.

Flats are very uncomfortable for me. I have wide feet and require a heel drop, my feet are also big (i have worries due to my big feet, many flats will just look like boats on me).

Anyway I cannot wear Vivaia, my feet are too big. Any other brands to look at?

And not Rothys as I'm looking for leather.

Generally my go to is naturalizer, except the flats selection isn't great imo.

Budget: under 300$

I'm shopping for a new (to me) car. I want to be at 20k OTD so I think I'm looking at 18k with fees. Currently have an ICE Volvo xc60 which is too big for what I need.

I'm solo with a standard poodle who mainly sits in the back seat so a roomy backseat isn't needed. I'm in VA which gets freezing maybe 3 months out the year.

I work remotely and probably drive 30 miles on a big drive day. I can do lvl 1 charging at home. L2 would require a home upgrade.

I care about how smooth the ride is and a quiet cabin and having vertical space in the front. Also I park my car in the airport lot for weeks at a time sometimes so I need to make sure I'll still have a charge.

I've tried kia niro but it felt like I could feel every bump in the road. I tried a ioniq 5 and I liked how it felt driving. Before I dropped my budget, I tried the MachE and it was my favorite (even though I dislike not having handles) so I'm kinda chasing that for a lower price.

What other cars should I be looking at?

I have a volvo 2016 XC60 suv. I find the car has design flaws and it's soured me on Volvo cars generally. The car is paid off. I've hit 120k miles so it's time for major routine maintenance. The timing belt will need to be replaced at some point which is a 1k - 1300 usd job (depending on the garage). I feel so much dislike for the car that the thought of putting more money into it really bothers me.

If I sell to a Volvo dealership they've tentively offered me 4200 for the car. Carmax is offering 3600. If I sell privately I could probably sell for 7k based on other comps.

I'm worried about finding a replacement car. I want to like my car. I've been looking at used EVs/hybrids.

I tried the Ford Mach-e (liked it comparatively), Ioniq 6 (nice but ride not as smooth as the ford), and the kia niro (noisy, not a smooth ride at all). I also tried the Chevy equinox (fine but disliked the radio buttons and too big), and hyundai tucson (too short on driver head space, too low to the ground).

What other cars should I try?

Or should I just stick with my volvo and get over this maintenace hump since most cars need this type of work.

After spending 40$ usd on gel nails that were meh (and chipped in 3 days), I was reminded why I never go to nail salons anymore.

What do you DIY?

Currently I'm doing my own manicures, pedicures, chemical peels, and microneedling. I'm working up to my own waxing ☠️ and researching red light therapy panels.

Just curious who else has decided to diy.

I'm really considering getting a cheek lift for NL folds. I'm hesitant because I've seen results that seem super subtle and the person still has them imo. And when I check thru websites of various surgeons ...idk results don't seem awesome.

I felt like the line softened or was less noticeable after getting a laser treatment. I would have gotten more treatments except my spa got rid of the laser equipment. 😢

I'm wondering do midface lifts work or if there are other options. At this point I'm not sure if it's volume or laxity that's the issue.

I have about 7 hrs of driving solo next week. I'd love to listen to a good podfic on the way.

TiA

I'm really looking at long term maintenance. I plan on keeping this car for at least a decade or until the battery dies. I'm used to Hondas and Toyotas when it comes to maintenance.