u/catchyaontheflip

hi all. after many months of back and forth to the vet with my 13 y/o to try to find the cause of her overgrooming issues, we have been told that she has arthritis. her overgrooming is focused on her back leg joints/pelvis and she has no signs of any other health issues, so I'm satisfied with that diagnosis for now.

they prescribed us a week's trial of gabapentin, but it's been a real struggle trying to get her to take it, and after reading online about how it can cause kidney issues in the long term, I am considering other treatment options.

I've seen some good reviews for green lipped mussel powder (Yumove tablets) from other cat owners who say it made a real difference in their cats. I would be keen to hear some more recent experiences, if there is anyone here who would recommend it (or alternatively, would warn against it).

thank you!

I bought my mum a ticket to a concert and I've just gone to print it off for her, and it says 'the lead booker must attend the concert and photo ID will be required on entry'. what is the likelihood of this being enforced? if I gave my mum my ID, would this be accepted?

the concert is tonight so would appreciate any and all advice.

tomorrow I will be testing an exposure by going for a haircut. I haven't had one since September (before my agoraphobia relapse) so it's very overdue, but the thought of being stuck in the chair while my hair is washed, having to sit still so the stylist can cut straight, etc. has been sending me into a tailspin every time I've thought about it these last few months.

my mum has her hair done by a lady who works from her own home, and the other day I said 'enough is enough' (mainly because my hair is a mess that I hate looking at now lol) and finally plucked up the courage to ask if I could make an appointment with her - so tomorrow afternoon I will be attempting a hair appointment for the first time in 8 months!

I did text the stylist to let her know about my anxiety/panic attacks, and told her that if an attack happens I may need to pause the appointment and step out for a moment to collect myself. she acknowledged my message and said that's fine. I definitely feel less nervous knowing that she is aware of my situation and I won't have to explain myself if the worst case scenario (i.e. a panic attack) does happen, and that I will be going to someone's house instead of a busy public salon with lots of other people around, but still feeling a little bit antsy.

will provide an update here tomorrow if anyone is interested - wish me luck!

this is more of a housekeeping issue than with the actual therapy.

I have weekly online sessions with my T. our first call had some tech issues for both of us - it was originally a telephone appointment, but once that began he asked if we could do a Teams meeting instead, so we lost almost half the session to trying to get that set up, with tech happening issues for both of us - no big deal, I thought, these things happen. last week was our 2nd session, and he was having tech issues again.

he explained that I am his first client of the day, so his laptop was still 'setting things up' while he was already on the call. whatever issues were happening for him continued throughout the call, and we ended up not being able to review my PHQ9/GAD7 test scores for that week because of it.

I feel like this is unprofessional. I work from home myself and when I have a call, I make sure all my tech is set up and ready to go *before* the call time. again, I understand things break, but both times it seems my T has been unprepared and it has impacted the session.

it's only been 2 sessions so far, so maybe I need to cut him some slack and call these teething issues, but I'm only having 12 sessions total with this T (as my therapy is happening through the NHS) so I do feel conscious of it chipping away at time that could be used actually having the session.

if this happens again, am I within my right to (respectfully) call this out somehow?

need to get this off my chest.

I moved back home about a year and a half ago after my dad died. it wasn't originally my plan, but my other living arrangements fell through so I didn't really have any other options. in that time I've come to notice how awful my mum's hygiene habits (or rather, lack of) are, and it's bothering me so much I can barely tolerate being around her anymore.

some of the things she does:

• she has had a chronic cough for months. she refuses to go to a doctor about this. it's at its worst in the mornings but all day long she'll hack away. I know she can't help the coughing, but she doesn't cover her mouth when she does. it's literally like how a toddler coughs, with the tongue sticking out and all. there have been times I've been having conversations with her and without warning she'll just cough straight in my face without batting an eyelid. I struggle with misophonia and her almost incesssant throat clearing (a loud 'AHEM!') just cuts through me completely.
• she wipes her nose on the back of her hand/up her arm, and make an awful snuffling noise while she does so. I try offering her a tissue but she'll always say 'no I'm okay' while smearing her snot up to her elbow. this happens often while we're eating dinner together and it disgusts me so much.
• she doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom. I know this because I hear the toilet flushing and then her leaving the bathroom immediately after, so I can tell she's not even giving her fingers a cursory sprinkle with some water. she'll then proceed to prepare food with her unwashed hands. as soon as I noticed this, I began declining any food she cooks.
• she'll dig around in the back of her teeth to pick out food and suck whatever debris she gathers off her fingers. same as the bathroom situation, she doesn't wash/santize her hands before touching other surfaces afterwards. it's another thing she does while I'm having conversations with her, and I'll stop talking while she does it to test if she'll see my disgust, but to no avail. she either doesn't notice, or she just doesn't care.
• she chews on her nails/the skin around them - see above. I'm guessing it's some kind of nervous habit that compels her to always have her fingers in her mouth if she isn't using them otherwise.

I love her but I feel so digusted towards her a lot of the time, that I worry it might actually be affecting our relationship. I've been having some mental health difficulties these last few months and she's offered to take me on a holiday to the coast (her friend has a house there) but the thought of being in her company 24/7, with little to no escape from her gross habits, makes me feel stressed just thinking about it.

moving out also isn't an option. all my savings are tied up in a house I was guilt-tripped into purchasing with my brother, and it's currently having renovations that won't be done for at least another half a year (and to be honest, I don't want to live with my brother once it's done). I would give anything to find a modest 1/2 bed garden flat or small house, move in with just my cats, and enjoy some solitude away from everyone - and a clean, hygenic living environment. in the meantime I am stuck hiding in my childhood bedroom, which is not how I foresaw my late-20s life to be.

idk what I want to gain from this post. I hope that having written it out like this will help me stop ruminating in my head about it. I know some people might say 'just ignore it, try not to care so much' but I really wish it was that simple.

I feel ashamed to admit this but yesterday I relapsed, if that is the right word to use.

I found a joint in a makeup bag in a drawer - God knows how long it had been there - and felt the devil on my shoulder due to the circumstances (home alone for a couple of hours, nice weather, Friday evening). I literally stood by the kitchen bin for half an hour deciding whether to chuck it out, and unfortunately the tempting thoughts won.

I woke up this morning feeling dissapointed for ruining my streak (2 weeks-ish), but with a reminder of the reasons why I want to quit. I will list them here to try to keep myself accountable in future.

1. the paranoia. weed is not legal where I live (UK) and although some people might say the police will only give you a slap on the wrist (i.e. a warning) if you get caught with a joint, I've heard stories of people getting caught by a stricter officer who's having a bad day and facing stronger legal consequences as a result. I was constantly looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was coming, listening out for approaching footsteps, trying to cover up the smell on me etc. - which completely ruined any potential enjoyment I might have had. it's hard to relax if you feel like you're about to be caught doing something illegal.

2. risk to safety. I had to go deep into some woodlands to feel like I wouldn't be interrupted or spotted by passers-by. in doing so I came upon a tent, which looked like someone was camping there, possibly living there. it made me realise that if I had to go somewhere isolated enough where someone could camp out there without being bothered by the authorities, that put me at risk of being attacked or worse, without any witnesses to come to my aid. unfortunately as a woman these are the kind of things I have to think of. a joint simply isn't worth that risk to me.

3. gluttony. the munchies always made me eat more than I needed, and I could never exercise self-control to avoid pigging out on junk. I woke up today feeling like shit because of it.

4. the 'hangover'. waking up with a dry mouth and feeling generally sluggish isn't conducive to me having a productive day. if I want to work on improving my life, beginning my day like this isn't going to give me a good start.

in a way I have a new motivation to keep myself on the straight and narrow from now on, since I've realised how the negatives outweigh the 'positives'. if I can keep these reasons in mind when I feel temptation again, hopefully that will be enough for me to see sense.

I don't need a pat on the back or any kind of reassurance about having slipped up, but if anyone has any other reasons to add then please do share.

so for background info, in the new year I went to my doctor to discuss my mental health after suffering from several panic attacks that ended up leaving me almost housebound, hardly able to go to the grocery store without fear of having another one. I was then assessed for agoraphobia + emetophobia (panic disorder), general anxiety disorder, and depression. I don't say 'diagnosed' because I never received any kind of documentation formalising a diganosis, so I'm not sure what counts in that regard.

I went through the assessment procedure for getting NHS mental health support and was told that high intensity CBT was the best option for me, and that it would be a 2-5 month wait for sessions to begin. I was absolutely desperate for any kind of help by this point, so I managed to get the contact info for a private psychodynamic therapist from a family member who had used her in the past, and began seeing her on a weekly basis back in February.

I am now finally off the waitlist for CBT and had my first session last week, during which the therapist told me I could not have the CBT sessions if I was seeing my psychodynamic therapist - it had to be one or the other, as apparently the methodologies conflict/contradict each other and I would not benefit from either one of them if I continued the other. so I now have to decide which of these options to continue with.

my most immediate concern is finding ways to tackle my anxiety/phobias head-on so I can try to get back to 'normal life' as soon as possible. it's my understanding that CBT is a more solutions-oriented methodology, whereas psychodynamic aims to uncover more of the 'why has this happened in the first place' - therefore, I think CBT might be the more useful option for me right now, whereas psychodynamic may be more suitable for the long term.

practically speaking it would be easier to pause the psychodynamic therapy - I would be discharged from my local NHS MH services altogether if I were to deny the CBT. however, I feel like I have built a good rapport with my psychodynamic therapist, and already feel like I have made some progress in my conditions since beginning my work with her.

I actually feel quite conflicted about this decision. would anyone be able to advise if I have a correct understanding of the difference between CBT vs. psychodynamic - or how you would apply either of these methodologies to phobia work/anxiety? I think hearing some better educated perspectives would help me in deciding what to do.

many thanks in advance!

hi everyone - I've recently decided to quit weed as I've been having mental health issues that I want to sort out with a clear head, and that I think my weed usage might be contributing to. I am currently coming up on 2 weeks sober, so still early in my journey.

something I'm having difficulty with is doing everyday mundane activities like chores/housework sober. in the past I found getting high before doing them made them more tolerable, almost enjoyable even. now I find them so boring that I have to force myself to do them. I also used to enjoy going for a walk through my local park with a joint in hand - I still do these walks now to try to help my MH, but doing that sober also feels tedious. even if I try listening to a podcast or something there's still that voice in the back of my mind whispering 'this would be better with weed'.

will these thoughts go away with time? how do you find motivation/enjoyment without using cannabis as a fallback?

would appreciate any and all advice. thank you!

EDIT: thank you all for the kind comments - I think I just need to stay disciplined and give it time. appreciate you all!

achieved a big win today - today I went back to the cinema I had a panic attack in 3 months ago (which caused me to develop avoidance of going to the cinema altogether since then) and sat and watched an entire film!

I was feeling okay on the way there but started feeling anxious as I entered the building, mainly because it was an exposure exercise, but also returning to where I've had a panic attack before has been a trigger for me in the past. as I took my seat I felt panic rising again but this time I was able to sit with it and ride it out, and after about 5/10 minutes it subsided. I was even able to cope with another trigger - I'm also emetophobic, and there were a few scenes that showed a character throwing up - and not let it bother me too much. I didn't feel fully okay until the film was over, but I was able to pay attention to and enjoy the movie, and the feeling of achievement afterwards is the best I've felt in weeks.

what helped me a lot was recognising that I was not actually 'trapped' in my seat, and that I was free to step outside to take a break (or leave altogether) at any time. practising some deep breathing also helped me regain control over my physical symptoms like my racing heartbeat. I've been in therapy for a couple of months now so it felt good to put some of what I've learned into practise and feel it actually helping me.

I used to love going to the cinema before my agoraphobia developed, and have been so sad about losing that hobby. I'm hoping that my positive experience today will help me reclaim it so I can return to doing one of my favourite activities!

I wanted to share this update because I posted here back in January about an experience where I tried going to the cinema on my birthday, but ended up fleeing in panic before the trailers had even ended (this was the incident 3 months ago). I hope this can help inspire anyone who is feeling hopeless or demotivated about their own journey. recovery is possible! if I can make steps towards getting better then so can you!

hi everyone - it is currently Wednesday evening and I noticed over the course of the day that my cat (13 y/o) seems to have come down poorly. she had her breakfast as usual this morning but was sick just after lunch time, and then 2 more times over the course of this evening. the first sick had some partially digested biscuits, so I know she has eaten today, but the other two sicks were just bile/mucusy.

after the third sick she was hiding behind the sofa (her usual refuge) but I was able to coax her out. I put her on the sofa next to me and gave her a cuddle which she didn't resist. she got comfortable and lay down where I had put her, so I brought in my dressing gown which she loves to make biscuits/sleep on and draped it around her in case that might help her feel a bit more comfortable.

I tried offering her some food about an hour after the last sick but she had no interest, not even for one of her favourite treats. I was worried she might be dehydrated after the vomiting so I put her water bowl in front of her and she had a good drink from it, which eased my mind a little bit.

she is currently still hanging out on the sofa. she seems comfy, and she's always been a lazy cat who will often go hours without moving from a spot, so it's hard for me to tell whether she is lethargic. she has gotten up to adjust the position she's laying in, so I don't think she's having difficulty with standing up, and her breathing is regular.

she has no prior history of health issues, except for a touch of arthritis in her back legs which was diagnosed last year.

I'm honestly freaking out a little bit. I'm a first time cat owner (I've had her and her sister since they were kittens) and I don't know when might be the time to make the call for an urgent vet appointment. I will keep an eye out for any obvious signs of a medical emergency (e.g. coffee ground vomit) and react accordingly if I see any of those, but otherwise should I just monitor her and see how she's doing tomorrow - or do I need to take action now?

I appreciate any and all advice :(

UPDATE (about 2 hrs later): positive update - she’s been dozing all evening, but I went to check on her a minute ago and she was awake purring and making biscuits on my dressing gown. she meowed when she saw me and stood up to greet me. she seems a lot more like her usual self now. I offered her one of her favourite treats to test her appetite and she very gladly ate it, so I followed that with about a teaspoon of her kibble and she ate that as well. I will set an alarm to check on her in the night, but I feel a bit more comfortable leaving her be for the time being.