u/crooked_kangaroo

Saw an offer for $16/8 miles yesterday and took it because there wasn’t much else going on. It was two cases of beer and a bottle of vitamins. After checking out, I saw the address and noticed it was an older lady I had delivered to before. Didn’t really think anything of it because I had delivered to her before without any problems.

I get to her trailer and knock on the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she says. “I broke my femur.”

“Oh, okay,” I replied. “Take your time.”

“Can you come inside? It’s hurting me to get to the door.”

So, I slowly open the screen door and, sure enough, she’s struggling to get to the door with a walker. I grab her order and walk it to the kitchen counter, which was about five feet from the door.

“Can you put the beer in the fridge? Just put the whole cases in there.”

“Sure,” I said, “I just need to scan your ID real quick.” I scan her ID while she tells me about how she’s hurting and whatnot. I put the beer in the fridge.

“Have you eaten today? I made some sausage gravy with some rice. You should have some before you go.”

“Oh, thanks but no thanks. I’m gonna get me something to eat a little later. I really need to get back on the road.”

“I insist! It’s really good. It’s some sausage marinated in Steen’s syrup I got from a local store. Do you have to make a delivery right now?”

“No, but I’m trying to make some money today. So, I appreciate the offer but I’m gonna head out.”

She grabs a plate from the cabinet and hands it to me. “No, really, I insist. It’s just me here and I’m not going to eat all of it. Go ahead and get you some so I don’t have to waste it all.”

I mean, I was hungry and it smelled really good. I fixed me a little bit, and she kept telling me to get more. I ate it quickly and, well, it was good. I then rinsed my plate and put in the sink.

“Thank you so much for that but I do need to be heading out.”

“And I need a husband.”

Okay. What the fuck?

“Ah, well, I’m sorry, but, unfortunately, I can’t help with that,” I told her.

“But you’re so tall and handsome and polite. You’d be perfect.”

I started circling around the island cabinet to head towards the door. “I really need to head out.”

“Why are you so nervous?”

“I’m not. I just need to get on with my day.”

She looked disappointed. “You’re gay, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am, I am.”

She looked even more disappointed. “I thought so.”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you choose to be gay?”

“Ma’am, it’s not something I chose to be. I just am.” I push the screen door open. “So, I’ll be heading out now.”

“If you have any friends who are looking to date, send them my way.”

“Sure thing.”

“I’m really a good person!”

“Oh, for sure. I don’t doubt it. Have a good one, okay?”

“I love you,” she said as I closed the screen door.

I thought about reporting her for all of that and I probably should have. Definitely won’t be doing anymore shopping orders for her. It was nice that she increased the tip after delivery.

What would she have done if no one found out about Rapunzel and Rapunzel would have died of old age?

Most of my immediate family does deliveries with Spark and we’ve noticed that our cellular data seems to drag while in Walmart parking lots. It had first started at one particular location and we figured it might be due to an issue with the nearby tower. Once we moved to another nearby parking lot, the problem would go away.

But then I went to another Walmart that is roughly 25 minutes away. Had the same issue while in the parking lot but going down the road to another parking lot would remedy the issue. My mom and brother had the same issue at yet another Walmart that is about 30 minutes in the opposite direction from the first one.

And we were just sitting in the regular parking lot; we weren’t anywhere near the pickup section.

About a month ago, I had a loader cancel a pickup because she said my car “smelled like animal”. I thought that was weird because I had picked up at other Walmarts and hadn’t been told anything by other loaders. I didn’t push the issue; I bought some air fresheners and went on with my day.

Two days ago, the same loader told my brother that she was going to have to cancel the pickup because the back of vehicle was “too cluttered”. He insisted she call a supervisor over. The supervisor checked it out and said there wasn’t a problem. The only thing in the back of my brother’s vehicle was a small tool bag and a work shirt.

The supervisor told my brother that this particular loader has a history of cancelling pickups for all kinds of reasons and that they would watching her closely.

My brother picked up from the same store the next day and encountered the same loader but she seemed to have a better attitude.

When I was young, my siblings and I would spend a lot of time at my grandma’s place. She lived in a one bedroom unit in the “projects” but she only used the bedroom for storage since she slept in a recliner in the living room. So, of course, we played in the bedroom since she didn’t allow us to play outside.

We used to love going through the boxes she had in there because she had all kinds of knickknacks and photo albums. She would hear us rummaging around and, because she had difficulties getting around, she would holler from the living room, “You better not be digging around in there!”

She was never mean about it though.

Later on, after her father passed, she bought a trailer with the inheritance she received and lived in our backyard for a few years. She cooked dinner for all of us (I was her helper) and she always had snacks for us. And, of course, she’d still holler about hearing us dig through those knickknacks and photos albums.

She passed way in 2003 and I miss her every single day.

There’s one Walmart in my zone that, unless I’m less than a mile a way, I don’t bother taking offers from, especially if they’re high paying offers. There have too many offers that I’ve taken from that particular Walmart that have either been canceled while I’m on the way or canceled after I’ve checked in.

The same thing has happened with both my brother and mother, who also do Spark deliveries.