u/dontaskkwho

I'm curious about things that weren't "just BPD" in the end like sleep apnea, ADHD, thyroid or hormone problems, vitamin deficiencies, chronic illness, or anything else, even habits.

If so, what was it? What symptoms did you think were BPD at first?

Once it was treated, what actually improved?

I'm asking because I'm wondering whether some of my symptoms could have another contributing cause alongside BPD, and I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

Hope this isn't controversial lol. But yeah what does the reddit collective think?

Personally freeze/collapse has had a huge negative effect on my life but I'm sure I don't need to go into detail here.

Does anybody here feel like the outside world is completely blind to whats going on inside us? Like.. I have hard time articulating this but yeah. I'm really close to my breaking point and I know its is solely my responsibility to fix all of this but its not easy.

How do you even communicate it to loved ones etc, without giving them a full briefing on what CPTSD is and the responses etc.

Im at loss here

For most of my life I've struggled with depression, anxiety and, later on, I was diagnosed with a personality disorder. Those things consumed my life. I isolated myself, cut people off, and spent years drowning in insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.

For a long time I thought I deserved some credit because I directed all the hatred inward instead of outward. I wasn't abusive. I wasn't angry at other people.

Well, tonight an ex partner (that's not the focus here) told me what it was actually like to experience me. Not my intentions. Not my mental health. Not the reasons I disappeared or withdrew. Just the impact.

For the first time in my life, someone took the spotlight away from the excuses I have been telling myself and showed me the way it affects the people who truly care about me, and who I thought I care about too.

My initial instinct was to apologise and try to shift the focus and explain myself, but that wouldn't undo the damage, and it made me realise how self absorbed I was.

It is a tough pill to swallow.

I'm not writing this because I suddenly think I'm a horrible person, or because I have all the answers now. If anything, I feel pretty humbled.

I don't know what happens next. I don't know if I'll fall back into old habits when life gets busy again. But tonight, someone held a mirror up to my face, and for the first time I felt like I was looking at myself instead of the story I'd been telling myself.

I'm almost 30 and its the first time I had to confront this part of myself. Anybody here who's been in a similar situation? I would love to hear some advice. Im afraid I caught a glimpse of something I will never be able to internalise.

I'm asking because I noticed many people with BPD tolerate either bad sleep or recreational substance use or alcohol.

For me though, especially in the last couple of years I noticed that I tolerate anything that could destabilise my nervous system very poorly. Especially sleep. Basically if I don't get a good nights sleep I am guaranteed to be dissociated and anxious, and any sort of therapy, coping strategies etc. become useless.

Also sleep was always a problematic area for me since my teens. I could easily sleep for 10+ hours or more while also struggling to wake up. Id need one hour of alarm clocks going off every 10 minutes in order to wake up. If I don't get at least 8 hours I will feel like I pulled an all nighter.

What is it like for you?

Im asking because Im wondering if there could be something else at play like sleep apnea or something (an ex partner did notice me stop breathing a few times and got scared)

Sleep is important but it shouldn't be this hard to stay on top of it.

P.S - this has been very consistent throughout my life.

Same as in the title. I sometimes see this term or related street terms and was wondering if there is anything that actually describes that in a clinical manner?

Is there hope for "permafried" people?

I see this all the time.

Someone will say:

"Love at first sight doesn't exist. If you loved someone, you'd hand them your credit card on day one."

"If you're still anxious, you're not confident."

"If you enjoy being alone, you're an introvert."

"If you have to think about being a good person, you're not actually a good person."

They all have the same structure: take a messy human concept and try to reduce it to one definitive test.

But most concepts don't work like that. Love isn't the same thing as trust. Confidence isn't the absence of anxiety. Introversion isn't simply liking solitude. Being moral isn't never having selfish thoughts.

It feels like we have this psychological need for concepts to have perfectly sharp boundaries, when in reality they're usually fuzzy, gradual, and context-dependent.

We spend a surprising amount of time arguing over definitions instead of describing reality.

Does anyone else notice this pattern?

Therapy is often described as the main pillar of recovery, but I'm curious about the environmental side of things.

For those who made significant progress, what changes outside of therapy had the biggest impact?

Did you have to move out, change jobs, end relationships, reduce social media, build more structure into your days, spend more time alone etc?

I sometimes feel like I'm trying to heal while still living in the same conditions that helped create the problem in the first place.

What environmental changes turned out to be surprisingly important for your recovery?

Same as in the title.

Therapy is obviously the main pillar of treatment, but progress seems fragile and many of us probably live in an uncomfortable but familiar chaos.

What are some other non-obvious changes in your environment/removing triggers you would say are just as important as attending therapy?

I think many of us who visit these mental health subreddits dont do this enough.

Please sit and reflect!

So I live with BPD myself and have made great progress with therapy in the past right until some stressors show up, which could undo everything I've achieved plus some rather quickly.

With how widespread self-help is, but also from observing people around me I know it is possible for others to change, create new habits and stuff..

Im just curious as to why it is so hard for us. Can anybody articulate why this is in a sensible way?

Ever since I was young, I've noticed that other people always seemed to have stories to tell. They'd come home from school, work, or a night out and naturally recount something funny, interesting, or memorable that happened.

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I've always struggled with that. Even when something happened that was objectively funny or story-worthy, I often couldn't tell whether it was worth bringing up. And when I did try to tell the story, I'd have trouble communicating it in a way that made sense or kept people's attention.

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It's not that nothing happens in my life. It's more like I have difficulty identifying what parts are interesting to other people and how to structure them into a story.

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Does anyone else experience this? Is it a social skill, an attention thing, anxiety, or something else?

Now I know quiet BPD is not officially recognised. Regardless, since I can remember, as most people with BPD I reckon, I have a real problem manifestimg any sort of personality.

What doesn't help is that I'm severely depressed and hospitalises at the moment. But no matter where I am on the sinusoid I at best adapt the good child (I think thats ehat you would call it) stance.

Thing is here at the ward many people find it unbearable to deal with me as I have nothing interesting to say. I thought for a little bit Im getting paranoid, but Im pretty much covinced (after some awkward conversations and how they ended) that It is just the fact that my complete shutdown is the main contributing factor.

Im not sure why Im writing this. Mainly cause Im not having am easy time, but also wanted to know if anybody is dealing with this to a similar extent. Or has any tips for reconnexting with yourself.

Now I know quiet BPD is not officially recognised. Regardless, since I can remember, as most people with BPD I reckon, I have a real problem manifestimg any sort of personality.

What doesn't help is that I'm severely depressed and hospitalises at the moment. But no matter where I am on the sinusoid I at best adapt the good child (I think thats ehat you would call it) stance.

Thing is here at the ward many people find it unbearable to deal with me as I have nothing interesting to say. I thought for a little bit Im getting paranoid, but Im pretty much covinced (after some awkward conversations and how they ended) that It is just the fact that my complete shutdown is the main contributing factor.

Im not sure why Im writing this. Mainly cause Im not having am easy time, but also wanted to know if anybody is dealing with this to a similar extent. Or has any tips for reconnexting with yourself.

I'm currently an inpatient on a psychiatric ward and trying to understand prognosis and recovery better.

Without asking for a diagnosis over Reddit, I'm curious about what psychiatrists commonly see in patients who are admitted with severe anxiety, paranoia, suspiciousness, psychotic symptoms, or difficulty functioning socially.

To add I currently presend with: BPD, denepdant and narcissistic traits.

Some questions:

What kinds of improvements are commonly seen in the first weeks and months after admission?

What symptoms tend to improve first?

Which symptoms tend to take the longest to improve?

How often do patients who seem very unwell on the ward end up functioning reasonably well again?

Are there signs that make you optimistic about recovery?

Are there signs that suggest a poorer prognosis?

How much insight into one's own condition predicts a better outcome?

How often do patients believe they are permanently damaged, only to improve significantly later?

One thing I've noticed is that when you're on a ward it's easy to look around at other patients and assume you're seeing their final outcome, rather than a temporary low point. I'm interested in hearing from psychiatrists about what recovery actually looks like in real-world practice.

Thanks.