Both exist and are bad. But misogyny and its consequences is objectively more common and more serious than misandry.
I think most of misandry is internet based/online (tho I agree men suffer from it in real life as well) whereas women have been more directly impacted by misogyny ~ workplace, femicide, opportunities in general.
As the title suggests.
So I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.
(BEFORE YALL GET AT ME IM NOT SAYING IM GETTING MARRIED OR MAKING BABIES WITH HIM TOMORROW. ITS JUST ABOUT MY FEELINGS RN)
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
Tl;dr: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.
And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.
I (23F) might be attached to, or developing a slight crush on, my second cousin (24M).
Before yall come at me, we didn’t grow up together, weren’t raised together, and have no shared childhood. We met for the first time as adults when I was 19 and he was 21.
For years we weren’t particularly close. We saw each other occasionally through family but barely interacted.
That changed about 6 months ago.
Since then we’ve become very close and spend a lot of time together. We do everyday things together, run errands, work on projects, go for walks, spend time with family, and generally end up spending a large portion of our days together.
For two of those months we were in different countries. Ironically, I thought the distance would help me become less attached. Instead, it seemed to have the opposite effect. We stayed in touch through calls and messages, often facilitated by our families since I was staying with his family while he was staying with mine.
He’s not helping my case with how much effort he puts into my life. He has helped me through difficult situations, supported me academically, taught me things, spent time helping me with practical problems, and generally shown up whenever I’ve needed help.
What makes this difficult for me is that many of these are things I would normally expect from a very close friend or even a partner, not someone I technically consider extended family.
The things he does, independent are fine, full of plausible deniability. But all of them accumulated together, seems to surpass what his label should allow him to do for me.
Especially in public, the way he acts would make anyone think we’re together. We even got asked if I was his gf once.
At the same time, because we met as adults, he never felt like a cousin in the way people usually describe cousins.
When our parents noticed. Both sides make subtle jokes from time to time. Privately, mine went crazy about it.