u/jenniecat444

recently i realised that i have a handful of compulsions i’ve stopped or minimised doing and just sit with the discomfort because i’m just so sick of performing them again and again.

i used to wipe my phone down soooo many times when i got home and now i just do it about twice and call it a day because i’m exhausted physically + mentally.

i’m doing my poly internship currently and am wondering if my type of relationship with my supervisor is weird.

i feel more comfortable talking to her over teams as opposed to in real life as i feel like there’s nothing much to say and idk how to converse well. she’s very very sweet but i guess once again there’s nothing much to say because i’m afraid of being too friendly to someone who has authority over me in terms of title.

like we can walk the same direction while leaving office and not say a word. i do try to make an effort with small talk about stuff we like within our age range (she’s quite eccentric and gen-z ish and only about late 20s). but still feel like i can’t connect. i also often skip lunch with her ( and the team) because they eat in a budget i cant afford (they understand but i also feel like i’m missing out on bonding).

not really sure if this is normal or i should try to make more effort and have a better relationship.

i’m doing my poly internship currently and am wondering if my type of relationship with my supervisor is weird.

i feel more comfortable talking to her over teams as opposed to in real life as i feel like there’s nothing much to say and idk how to converse well. she’s very very sweet but i guess once again there’s nothing much to say because i’m afraid of being too friendly to someone who has authority over me in terms of title.

like we can walk the same direction while leaving office and not say a word. i do try to make an effort with small talk about stuff we like within our age range (she’s quite eccentric and gen-z ish and only about late 20s). but still feel like i can’t connect.

not really sure if this is normal or i should try to make more effort and have a better relationship.

my main theme is contamination specifically in regards to feeling like my family is contaminated. they just do things that are not up to my hygiene standards and my brain considers them as human beings contaminated.

anyway, i 22F have a loving partner and we’re starting to plan for our future about marriage (don’t want kids). but i come from a traditional chinese family. traditional in the sense that during the new year, it’s expected that we either host or visit my current house which would be my mum’s house when i move out with my boyfriend. i view the house to be superrrr contaminated, i can barely stand living in it. on the other hand, if she visits my house, i would probably get so stressed out with the contamination brought in my house. and also having my partner sit in contaminated areas of the house or touch things i deem as contaminated means i can’t touch him anymore and have to divorce to get away from him.

my brain makes me think things like these. obviously i know it’s illogical and i so desperately wish i could be normal and just hug my family and have my partner be so well integrated with my family. i’m seeking a diagnosis, hoping to go on meds and seek some therapy. maybe it’ll get better for me.

but in the meantime, i’m just wondering if i’m COMPLETELY alone in this or anyone else has the same struggle.

my main theme is contamination specifically in regards to feeling like my family is contaminated. they just do things that are not up to my hygiene standards and my brain considers them as human beings contaminated.

anyway, i 22F have a loving partner and we’re starting to plan for our future about marriage (don’t want kids). but i come from a traditional chinese family. traditional in the sense that during the new year, it’s expected that we either host or visit my current house which would be my mum’s house when i move out with my boyfriend. i view the house to be superrrr contaminated, i can barely stand living in it. on the other hand, if she visits my house, i would probably get so stressed out with the contamination brought in my house. and also having my partner sit in contaminated areas of the house or touch things i deem as contaminated means i can’t touch him anymore and have to divorce to get away from him.

my brain makes me think things like these. obviously i know it’s illogical and i so desperately wish i could be normal and just hug my family and have my partner be so well integrated with my family. i’m seeking a diagnosis, hoping to go on meds and seek some therapy. maybe it’ll get better for me.

but in the meantime, i’m just wondering if i’m COMPLETELY alone in this or anyone else has the same struggle.

21F here and was just wondering what’s the norm for someone with a partner who doesn’t like family x partner integration.

i personally have OCD and anxiety so it’s very hard for me to feel comfortable with my boyfriend and family cross contaminating germs. haha illogical i know but trying to get past it hence why i’m asking around!

do yall bring your partner to visit for cny? vesak day prayers? invite to house often in general? travel together?

i feel like i would never be able to travel with both family and boyfriend, feels like a physical and emotional barrier i can’t get past but travel also not necessary. cny visiting however is a different story. my mum is pretty traditional and would usually prefer to invite or eventually when we get bto, to come over and visit (also another barrier for me).

21F here and was just wondering what’s the norm for someone with a partner who doesn’t like family x partner integration.

i personally have OCD and anxiety so it’s very hard for me to feel comfortable with my boyfriend and family cross contaminating germs. haha illogical i know but trying to get past it hence why i’m asking around!

do yall bring your partner to visit for cny? vesak day prayers? invite to house often in general? travel together?

i feel like i would never be able to travel with both family and boyfriend, feels like a physical and emotional barrier i can’t get past but travel also not necessary. cny visiting however is a different story. my mum is pretty traditional and would usually prefer to invite or eventually when we get bto, to come over and visit (also another barrier for me).

i’m 22 this year and have been thinking about this topic recently. with eligibility for BTO only being at 35 years old and TOP about 40 years old, i basically have to live with my mum and brother for almost another 20 years. that’s if i can even win the BTO war.

i have a boyfriend but not sure if i want to marry him just for the sake of a house. i know shelter is taken care of by my mum and that’s a huge privilege which i’m very grateful for…

but i guess i’m just kind of lost? not really sure how am i going to kick-start independent living with MY OWN personal space and lifestyle while living under someone else’s rules and having to accommodate to two other people for the next 20 years. not to mention, i have OCD and anxiety, managing on my own is no problem but adding other people into the mix causes lots of exhaustion and emotional instability (seeking treatment currently).

was wondering if anyone else feels the way i do or i’m the only one.

she knows i’m getting checked for ocd but she’s not a big believer i have it or the condition even exists. she sees my handwashing rituals and used to call me selfish for not wanting to be touched by my family and needing to wash after. she’s grown accustomed to it now.

it’s hell everyday trying to hide new rituals and obsessions, and the one i’ve always hidden was using tissues to close the front door when i leave the house for school or work. nowadays it seems like she’s trying to fucking catch me in the act. she gets up to “help me close the door” when i’m leaving.

TODAY. as the door was almost closed, she literally pulls the door right open and scared me. first thing she noticed was the tissues.

once i’m like 5 minutes away from home, she asked me “are you using tissues to close the door? when did you develop this habit?”

i just replied saying “no i am not” and she said “okay”.

i’m afraid she’s gonna interrogate me further. idk what else to tell her. she looked at me like i’m crazy when i started developing really bad COCD and i feel like i’m being put in that same position.

edit: i’m even more embarrassed and upset because i feel like i always get whiplash with her. now, she accepts handwashing and thinks that’s fine, but anything outside of that like opening doors with feet or using tissues to avoid touching handles, that’s me being crazy. like i can never predict when she’ll say something about me.

i went to pee and was unsure if my sleeping shorts touched the toilet bowl. i mean i literally saw that it was so close to touching but didn’t (?) but now ive convinced myself that it did touch. again, i saw with my own two eyes that it didn’t touch, but i cant help but think it might have and i just hallucinated not touching.

wonder if anyone else’s mind gets stuck on shit like this

hi! asking for a friend. she’s currently doing her intern at a news company and apparently she’s doing shift work. i googled and saw that shift work is okay as long as adhere to not working more than 44 hours per week.

so sometimes her shifts are 1pm to 10pm. and recently she told me she stayed in office until 12am. she also apparently doesn’t get paid for OT, though she can claim grab rides from her company.

is this normal? is this even allowed?