u/melomelomelo-

I wanted to put things in a bit of perspective here and maybe help some lurkers feel more confident.

No one has it truly figured out. All of us are trying to survive and have one aspect or another of the relationship that isn't pretty or exactly what we'd expect. There's no relationship in the history of this planet that hasn't had difficulties in one way or another - and in that way all of us are in this together.

Just because someone asks for help and the typical comments are something like, 'well we don't have that problem, I do this' or even 'I haven't experienced that, you should xyz' - that doesn't mean you're failing. All it means is that the few people who chose to say something aren't struggling with that particular issue.

I believe a lot of the type-A personality traits have either rubbed off on us, or we're even type-A ourselves because it's a good match. A lot of the comments on this sub are basically proving that it IS possible, don't lose hope, but it's presented in a very straightforward way without a candy coating.

None of this means you're not up to snuff, or that your particular relationship is so much worse than others. It's just a few people trying to support you in a very straightforward way. Remember, no one on the planet is ever perfect and that means it's okay if your life doesn't mirror someone else's.

I'm not pulling the plug or anything, but these are questions I think one should know just in case. I think everyone would benefit from knowing whatever tips you guys can share.

People don't really talk about divorce, even in my family where I have 19 grandparents and my mom has been married 4 times, twice to the same guy. Just from observation I can only imagine the legal proceedings going on, add this medical career to the mix and phew boy.

- I know things vary by state in the US, when you file for divorce is it the state of your current residence or the state you were married in?

- No prenup - how does this help/complicate things? Does it vary by state too?

- What kind of finances should one expect to have prepared for a divorce where the spouse makes this much money?

- When our spouses regularly go to court to defend themselves and have practice, how does the divorce typically shake out? They say once divorce is on the table, forget everything you knew about that person. I'm curious what to expect or prepare for. (regularly going to court may vary by specialty, but they're all at least trained in it)

- What other preparations typically need to be made? For example housing, career, or even packing up your things weeks ahead of time? What would people not think to do?

Anything you guys want to share from personal or observational experience would be great for everyone, just in case.

I am holding onto a lot of resentment due to my spouse not helping out around the house. It's a personality thing, but now that he's got this career and I'm home all the time it 'makes sense' for me to manage the household. I do get the logic, and slightly agree, and sure yes I'm happy to support the home.

But this resentment has had almost two decades to cook. We accidentally started to get into it while on a call with my dad. Dad actually spoke up and took his side, saying that he's the one that brings in all the money and pays for things, I have significant time. After hearing someone back up my husband, I backed down but the my gut was not okay. I haven't brought it up to anyone since and it's been at least 4 years since that happened.

The thing is, it might make sense now and sure I'm happy to support us. But the reality is I moved in with him first year of medschool and he has NEVER cleaned. More frustrating is, when I would visit him in the years before we moved together, his place was not a mess. He was maintaining at least a clean bachelor pad. I know he's capable.

As soon as I joined the picture I noticed he wasn't even cleaning up after himself, much less doing chores. I spent years, through residency, asking him for help around the house. I had a few sit-down conversations with him that didn't go over extremely well, and he never really made a switch to start cooking dinner or to do the trash or dishes. By the last years of residency I was getting responses similar to what my Dad said, basically he's doing the work that's getting us where we need to go, it's my job to clean.

The thing is I'm functionally mentally ill and grew up in a hoarder home. When we moved in together I didn't know HOW to clean or manage a home, never had to growing up. Bonus points, his mom cleaned everything top to bottom for him so he wasn't trained in household management either.
Additionally, why do you think I don't have a career?? I decided not to get my masters so I could support you and your career. I'm stuck getting lower paying jobs and career hopping due to his journey. I'm even unemployed right now because he's doing locums, my resume looks a mess, and it feels wholly unfair to know that on the outside, e.g. what my dad sees, is that I'm lazy and refuse to pull my weight.

Totally a vent post, I just had to get some stuff off my chest. I hope and believe that most others aren't dealing with all this, but if you have something similar please feel safe to vent here!

I know this is a shot in the dark, but I'm hoping to talk to anyone with bipolar that is in a relationship with someone in medicine.

My spouse is a psychiatrist and it makes for some interesting internal thoughts and lifestyle choices. This isn't a bragging post at all, being a medspouse is hard (there's a whole sub for it) and on top of that I've got this bipolar to juggle. Spouse and I can't really talk about it too much due to their career, they're not allowed to say anything that would influence my decisions or treatment.

In the last year I have finally started talking about it more with people in my life, including him. It's tough though because I can say "man I really hate this new medicine" and he can sympathize, but can't really say much at all. I also used to seriously worry that he judged me for it (he doesn't) and that my symptoms or emotions were just 'oh it's the bipolar'. I've come to realize he doesn't feel that way and loves me for me no matter what. But the mental twists going on are something I don't think a lot of people go through, having someone heavily trained on inpatient and outpatient treatments and such in your house all the time.

I'd love to chat with anyone that has dealt with something similar.
And sure I'll field casual questions if you guys are curious, maybe talking about it at all will help.

I'm 36, was diagnosed around 22.

All these years, all these medications, nothing 'does it'.
I'm insanely sensitive to meds (5mg of adderall made me think people on the other side of the room were laughing at me, super self conscious, etc) so we have a very narrow window to see if something is effective, and I usually get the bad side effects somehow from each one.

Been on Caplyta for a year and a half now. It's the only med that provided enough of a change to have meant anything to me. Even then, I get the diarrhea side effect - but it's the ONLY negative thing so I've dealt with THAT for this long just because the med actually did something good.

We just tried lamotragine again for the first time in 10 years. I'm so sensitive that even on the lowest dose, I feel 'activated' at all times and my depressive phase was darker than it has been too. I am not able to meditate like I used to - I could take myself out of my body and observe, evaluate, and separate from the situation. Now I can't even sit still long enough to get my brain to stop running.
The only GOOD thing to come out of lamotragine is not emotionally collapsing at any sign of conflict. I am less empathetic, but now I can stand up for myself without backing down in a heap of tears. I'm able to speak up when I'm not okay with something. For that reason alone I told her I'm okay with continuing it. But like... my brain still needs a break. I'm so tired.

So now she's switching the Caplyta out for Abilify. I'm nervous because Caplyta was a HUGE change for me, completely stopped the hours in bed feeling sorry for myself.
I'm SO scared that we're changing all this up and I might be going backwards.

There's something to be said for how a med makes us feel inside, vs. what it looks like on the outside. This whole month internally I've been conflicted if the lamotragine is good for me at ALL, but I've been able to share my opinions safely so on the outside it looks like I'm growing and improving. It makes me stressed and sad for people like us that had 'treatments' before they really knew much about psych. Even to this day bipolar isn't really understood and humanity hasn't created a med that actually -works-. Meds are different for everyone but I truly think bipolar is still in that 'huh this is something we should look at harder' phase.

Anyway. Complaints about the struggle are all I needed right now I guess. I'd like to open the floor to anyone that wants to complain similarly, or of course if you have some good words for us.

Hi all, I'm back. I posted a little while ago that I'd never heard of this franchise and stumbled into it, buying the original before even knowing there was a remake or other games. I finished original Sky FC last night and OHMIGOSH. SUCH an amazing game.
Well constructed, finished product from top to bottom. I truly missed playing older games, they're made different. And gosh I forgot what games were like before DLC was really a thing! I'm about to dive into the remake and looking forward to it.

Difficulty levels - I'm wondering if selecting the same difficulty in the remake will feel about the same as the original. Is 'Hard' even harder, etc.

Managed to get through the whole game without looking anything up except the sewer and sealed area maps, mostly because game fatigue was setting in and I cared more about the story.
I played original on Normal. I was really enjoying the tactics structure, how it's not always the same but every enemy has a 'key' to beating them quickly. I loved messing with orbment chains and perfecting the spell loadouts, I did every mission board quest available to be able to buy top gear for everyone and opened every chest I could find. I cooked tons of items to have on hand too.

About halfway through the game I wasn't bored per se, but definitely wanted more challenging fights. I almost never used the items I cooked, never really had to except for status healing when Curia wasn't soon enough. I was wondering when a long fight would happen for all of chapter 3 and most of 4.

When the fight with Lorence came up I was pleasantly surprised. "Wait if he heals that much how do I beat this guy" but I powered through and managed it. I beat him on the first try using very few items, and was surprised to find out he's optional.
When I got to the final battles I was really hoping to struggle a bit more. Tita and Kloe accompanied me and I feel it was a good setup. I beat Lorence at lvl 32 and the final fights at lvl 37 with no retries. I only got one game over the whole time and ended the game not using almost all of the items I cooked, and thanks to the chests in the sealed area I had 9 Celestial Balms left and 40+ Teara balms. I never even used the Tear All balms they provided. It makes me wonder how much cash I would've had if I hadn't invested in supplies lol.

NONE of this is a complaint at all. I would have struggled with this game immensely when I was younger, for certain. It's tough, it's good, I am not judging. Only wondering if it's time to graduate to hard difficulty when I try the remake, or if there's a difficulty jump that makes it worth it to try normal again.

PS can we talk about the story??? OMG. I suspected Joshua's past from the very first scene, but I had no idea he couldn't remember it. I thought he had just grown and tried to move on. Joshua and Estelle's final scene was the cherry on top of this masterpiece.

I'm looking for a bit of perspective here, some harsh truths maybe, and just to hear that other people might be going through this too.
Note that none of this is written with regret, I'd do it all again, but I still have the issue of job stability.

Those of you that have traveled with your spouse over the years, how's your resume these days? What kind of luck do you have finding jobs? If you have (or had) a proper career, how did you handle moving frequently? Most importantly, what do you write on your resume or say when called and they ask about this? DO they tend ask about it at all?

Been with him 18 years now, my entire adult life. Graduated college and moved to be with him for med school. Started a 'career' of admin assisting at various places. The city we came from is large enough to move closer to your job when needed, we've both done 1.5 hour commutes one way before because the city is just so large. In addition we've hopped cities a few times. Over the years we've moved locations 7 times between 5 cities, two of those in different states.
Yes, we've discussed the likelihood in the future of doing a home-base while he travels for work. We don't have kids yet/still but want them to be in the picture, plus our parents are aging now.

All this means my resume is absolutely filled with job hopping, 1-2 years per job. It looks bad, and if asked if I'll be moving soon I can lie, but I can't guarantee we'd still be in the same place a year or two from now. Locum is contract by contract, sometimes he wants to stay, sometimes he has good reasons to leave.
My situation right now, I've been out of work for about a year and a half. I didn't work the few months we were in Hawaii bc we knew it'd be short, and we've been in California just over a year. When we first moved to this state it was only going to be the one year, we agreed it'll be okay if I don't work this stint as it would be short. He ended up loving the city, his coworkers, the work, and the pay. Now he's re-signing the contract for 6 months at a time, and suddenly dressed me down for not having a job at this point. That blindsided me honestly, last I had checked we were on the same page and he just comes at me with 'get a job' one day.
Normally I'd totally understand, I do need and want my own pay, and it looks bad to be sitting around. BUT we had agreed on this and I wasn't expecting such a rough switch. It could have been a much nicer conversation.

So now that he's decided to stay long enough I'm finally looking, personally desperate to get a job for my own needs, happy to work. But his current contract ends in 6 months and we don't even know if we're staying in this state, much less city, after that. No, I don't have a career to speak of, and yes, I'm damn good at what I do and it's a good job to be able to slip in to most companies.
But how am I supposed to honestly find a good job I care for and know that I may not even be there for a year. And I don't want to get a 'bad' job with the intention of 'only 6 months' and then find out we're staying and I could have possibly landed a better job.

Before spouse had the convo with me, I was already peeking around job boards to see what was available. I've been applying for months, heavily editing my resume, and finally decided to ask for outside input.
So how do you all handle this? I know not everyone has worked themselves into the hole I have, but I'm sure there's some of you out there that have dealt with one factor of this or another. I'm half venting, half looking for tips like what types of jobs to apply that are flexible, or how to set my resume to indicate this or not. What to say in an interview, the works.

Lastly if any of you know of a job placement agency that works with spouses of traveling professionals, or works with people that move a lot, anything like that would be helpful. Thanks!

After having him in this so long, I've become accustomed to short phone calls with only pertinent details. It's funny because sometimes when I call my friend or my mom with news, I'll just list out everything as soon as they pick up and I'm sure they're free.

Some work calls with my spouse these days:
"Hi I'm in a meeting everything ok?" "Yep bye" and both hang up

"Do you want soup or lasagna for dinner?" "Doesn't matter" "okay love you bye"

"What's up" "Person called and said this document is ready" "Okay email it to me" "bye!"

All fairly normal stuff, but it took me a while to realize most spousal phone calls probably aren't like this lol. I'm just glad he is able to pick up at work at all!
A lot of the time we do get to continue and have an actual conversation, but the habits are now "HERE'S THE INFO" then "oh wait you're free to talk, how's your day?"

I installed the original Trails in the Sky when it was on sale a while back; someone had asked for other rpgs to play and it was listed a couple times.
Started playing a couple days ago, finally decided to google it and find out it's an entire series like Tales games. Except this is different because the stories and people arc through the entire thing? I'm trying not to look up too much about it but I do have some questions.

Only lvl 5, first day as a Bracer and dad left. I did the mission board quests and now I'm going to the farm for the main quest. Finally at a point where cat-bats don't hurt me much, lol

1. BLACK SEPITH. Does it get more common later on? Water gets dropped rarely but I figure it's the area I'm in. When I look in the magic manual I see it's used for important spells so I assume it's rare, but also that's Joshua's main deal so I thought it would be more common. I did get a couple black sepith to drop when I killed one of the quest board monsters. I'd like to know if it's a boss-only type of thing or I just need to get farther in the game? I imagine certain areas have certain types.

2. Higher level quartz. When do shops stock higher level quartz, is it based on my level, BP, the city you're in, etc. Also any tips about what to buy/not to buy are great.

3. Characters. I'm using Joshua as the party leader because I liked him, but I'm noticing Estelle is more the main character. Is everything centered around her or does each character prove a protagonist in their own right?

4. Remakes. I didn't find out until an hour ago that there are remakes of the game. I'm sticking with the original version, but is it worth switching to the remake for 2nd Chapter? I do enjoy dressup and character bonding quite a bit, but I want to make sure it still has charm like the older versions.

5. Sequels. Are they all available to play in English, can I get them all from Steam? Are some of them unavailable to play these days? And most importantly, everyone has a different opinion for the order to play apparently. I'd like to play either in the order of release, or by story arc. With that in mind do you have a recommendation?

Frankly I am REALLY enjoying this already. I miss old games so much. We talk about immersion in 3D games but there's something to the immersion in reading a fantasy novel. I really missed that feeling.

tl;dr: specific questions, but any tips you'd like to give a new player that's already charmed would be welcome!

I live on the first floor in a busy area. There's a railroad track on one side and a 4-way stoplight at the other. The amount of impatient drivers is high and my nerves are getting low.

Is there a 'piss-disk-activate!' catapult or something you guys know about?

I hate to be another 'omg origins is hard' post, but I was not experiencing these issues in 2009 or my subsequent playthroughs!
I haven't gone back to it since DA2 was released. I've done several replays of all the other games in the series, Veilguard got half a replay then I decided to try Origins again instead.

I don't use mods, try to fully explore every corner, loot/talk to everyone, etc. I managed the tactics and am -constantly- pausing to issue orders. I got to Denerim and I think I was doing New Ground quest? It's nighttime and I kept getting attacked by guards. I tried several times and couldn't get past them.

I'm enjoying the challenge, older games are more difficult and I've got to get back in the groove. Do you have any tips or reminders for getting stuck like this?

*edit: I mention pausing in that way to prove I am utilizing the feature, not to complain about it :)
Thanks for the tips everyone

Codependency is something people work on, and repair after living with a narcissist is something people struggle with as well. If one were to combine the whole pot, and even after childhood continued into adulthood with the same or a different codependency, I'm wondering what a lifetime of 'being second' could do to someone.
There's also something to be said for the childhood trauma of living with a narcissist and/or emotional neglect inciting other mental illnesses.

Just curious if there's any scientific ideas that cover this type of thing? and I'll change my flair if needed.

Would any of you care if this was added?
I can add a suggestion but I don't wanna be the only one that cares.

I think it'd be so cute to be able to walk your toddler around in a stroller. Maybe even a cute 1940's bassinet carriage.

I have a notification from 14h ago saying "Manager and 1 other person viewed your profile"

That manager did view my profile a month ago, and I got the notification then.
Is the notification just including him because it was the last 90 days? Or did the manager view my profile again recently?

It's traumatic for both sides. I wish I knew back then what I could have said, and I think those of us who haven't been through it would like to know too.

The problem is there's no right thing to say. What can you say? We can only try to be there for them in the moment and be eternally patient afterward.
We've been together 18 years and he's been through so much trauma, but I think the 'firsts' in medschool are particularly bad for everyone.

For me I was out shopping with my mom when I got the call. I excused myself when he told me he lost a patient for the first time. He was heartbroken and I wished I could be with him in person just to hold him through it.

Or the call after the first cadaver lab; it's so humbling and perspective changing. So many students quit after that day because it's so awful for them.

For after residency and such, the first official complaint. Or the first major red tape that prevents you from saving a life.

I don't think this thread will have answers. But I think we need to have at least one space to open the table for darker talk. I'm sure some of you have stories to share or questions about what's to come.

A common phrase is 'live in the moment'. It's supposed to help you relieve anxiety and not focus on outside factors.

I think at times, we're too good at that. We know exactly how to live in the moment, we do it every damn day (those of us that aren't stabilzed). With bipolar we have so much practice accepting what's right in front of us, it's living outside the moment that's hard.

I'm so depressed, it's all I can see.
I'm so intrigued, it's all I can think about.
I'm so happy, I'm going to enjoy every bit of this memory I can and not think about the consequences.

If we live outside the moment,
I'm so depressed but I know this won't last, and if I don't do the bare minimum it'll all fall down.
I'm so intrigued, but I haven't showered in two weeks so that should be a new priority.
I'm so happy I never want this to end, but I'll be broke next week if this keeps up.

I dunno, that sounded all help-book-ish, but I really think if we try to take some moments and remember all the factors around us, it might be easier to control the behaviors.

It's a hassle, it takes a whole in-game week+, but it's worth it too.
I've never been very social with my zois - they tend to latch onto the first few people they meet. I just moved my zoi family to a new town and decided to try to meet everyone that's actually a resident and not some out-of-town spawn. This was done in Cahaya, there's not as many families, other cities may take over a week to finish.

1. First goal is to get at least one person in the other family to meet each of your family members
2. Have other-family-zoi schedule a party that's after work/school for all members of both families (remember to give them an hour in between to take care of emergency needs before teleporting, I've been doing 6-10pm)
3. Remember to cancel other scheduled items during that time for each member of both families, or they may keep trying to leave
4. Switch to each of your family members during the party and make sure everyone has met all members of the other family
5. Don't forget to get contact info for anyone you're interested in getting to know better

There was a lot of switching back and forth between families, but if you pause it when switching it doesn't interrupt the simulation, everyone will be in the exact same spot. Given that the initial meeting of the families in step 1 can be a pain in the butt, you may be able to schedule a 'party' for your family located at the other family's house. Then you could control the other family and have them meet everyone that way.

Yeah it's a hassle, and my family is exhausted from having a dinner party every night for a week. But I feel like the immersion and social aspect are that much stronger for it. (plus it's easier to hunt for a marriage match when you scout the town!)

Tl;dr: Host dinner parties with each family to get to know everyone in town

Time for an update on Katsumi & Kohana!
As some of you requested, here's an update on how the Nature vs. Nurture experiment is going :)
(my spouse has since told me that's not actually what nature vs. nurture means, but hey we're using a social definition and we're sticking with it)

Hypothesis: Autonomy in InZoi is good, but I suspect they don't have long term goals, even with smartzoi active. I expect the variable unattended child to meet their needs but not much else and the controlled child to far exceed in all factors - skills, ambitions, school performance, and relationships.

Method: Two kids born a day apart that age up on the same days. One is controlled 90% of the time (Katsumi), the other is left to fend for themselves since toddlerhood (Kohana). Allowance to intervene with the variable child upon desperation.

Progress: My last post was as toddlers, showing that Katsumi raised several of her skills while Kohana spent the entire time playing in the toilet. Waited a week for the update before they aged to children (and found out school is only high school). Spent 6 days as children, 10 days as adolescents, and have spent 4 weeks as teens so far.

Issues: Unfortunately, the best part of this experiment is being kept from us. Katsumi is able to attend school normally but Kohana got the 'already graduated high school' bug and is unable to attend. Even worse, my autosaves are frequent and I only use one save file (not anymore!) so I was not able to reload before to try again, by the time I realized what happened it was too late. We're pretending that Kohana opted out of school and that's totally a legal decision children can make.

Katsumi 👯‍♀️💖

Kohana 👯‍♀️💖

Updates!

• The moment they aged up, both went to read an art book. During this game I have not ever edited their bodies or hair, only clothing and tied-up hairstyles. They both are turning out SO adorable! If you're curious, I made matching outfits for each category. Katsumi is yellow and Kohana is blue ^((or gold and periwinkle for those who love colors)) https://imgur.com/a/Cb2MlN1
• Katsumi became an Individualist, introverted workaholic; Kohana is an Explorer and a lively bookworm.
• In childhood Katsumi maxed out all of her skills and Kohana maxed none. However, consistently Kohana's school performance reports were advancing faster than Katsumi's, even though I never saw her do homework. She received outstanding performance several days before her sister.
• I've found that Katsumi never complains about homework even if it's after midnight, she always does her tasks without getting overwhelmed. Most of the time if her needs are met she's in a wonderful mood. The introverted trait comes in at parties and more importantly, school. I have to keep her needs met more than others I've played because she's always uncomfortable if there's more than 3 or 4 people around. She's been getting A+ in school, has tried 3 clubs, and been to prom 4 times (voted prom queen twice!). She's achieved two school-related ambitions and they'll age up on the next prom night. During all that she developed a romantic relationship with Charlie - the preppy smart cheerleader fell for the goth computer club guy!
• Kohana has been interesting. She is absolutely lively, she loves chatting and being around people! Yet I haven't seen her with a book since she became a teen. Kohana spent almost all of her time trying to chat with her sister. It was very cute, but got to be a nuisance because Katsumi couldn't get her homework done at home. Typically Kat would start eating and doing homework around 6 and wouldn't be in bed until 2:30am because of all the conversation interruptions.
• I ended up doing an Emergency Rescue on Kohana and updating her smartzoi to indicate that she wants to learn new things. She still absolutely enjoys talking to the family, I think that's just who she is. But now if I cancel a couple chat requests she'll wander off and do something else. One night I came back and saw that she wrote an entire book while I was gone! I published it for her and she's the first sister to have made any money.
• Regarding relationships, Kohana also had a lot more people in her contact list than Katsumi. I typically spend 85% of the time building skills or meeting needs and sometimes forget my zoi needs to leave the house and see people. By the time I checked both phones Katsumi only had the family and 3 other contacts, Kohana had over 10 people in her phone!
• The relationship between the two sisters is adorable. They're always chatting and joking around, and Kohana always initiates sweet family dialogue. If Katsumi sneaks out at night, Kohana says she'll cover for her. Eventually Kohana learned cooking on her own and would have meals ready for the family when Katsumi got home. They go to each other for advice and play in the backyard frequently. They're really the ideal image of sisters.

https://preview.redd.it/sn8ky2fnwn9h1.jpg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dae66acabda24cf38860e3b883683b041b6491a9

Result:
I'm surprised! While my hypothesis is correct in that the controlled zoi will have more basic functions and better skills, I was wrong that the unattended variable zoi would fall behind. Kohana had more social relationships, better elementary school performance, and made money before her sister ever did.

It's a shame Kohana couldn't go to high school, but she'll be able to get a job and go to university still. They have another week to go until they're young adults and I think the experiment comparisons will pick back up!
This may be my last update unless you guys express interest in seeing how they do at university and adult work; that update would be much farther in the future. I'll continue playing but they've drifted enough apart that it's harder to keep track of Kohana as Katsumi's life gets busier. If you guys want a future update, I'll make sure they continue living together.

Long term goals for the family -
After aging to young adults, the sisters are moving out of Bliss Bay to Cahaya. Katsumi is bringing along her future husband, and Kohana may possibly bring along their parents and keep living with them. If everything goes well we're doing a lineage play with the same experiment; Katsumi will have twins that grow up in Cahaya and move to Dowon after graduation. Ideally by then the school bug will be fixed!

Guys, in my 20 years of simulations I've never had aging on. This is fun!
Here are some screenshot compilations if you're curious.
Childhood: https://imgur.com/a/sac2qmD
Teens: https://imgur.com/a/BRZWeik
Katsumi & Charlie: https://imgur.com/a/3kLUBkc

I've only attended Bliss Bay's school in person and it's exactly what I'd expect from an American school.

Do the schools in Dowon or Cahaya look more city or island-like?