u/melomelomelo-

It's traumatic for both sides. I wish I knew back then what I could have said, and I think those of us who haven't been through it would like to know too.

The problem is there's no right thing to say. What can you say? We can only try to be there for them in the moment and be eternally patient afterward.
We've been together 18 years and he's been through so much trauma, but I think the 'firsts' in medschool are particularly bad for everyone.

For me I was out shopping with my mom when I got the call. I excused myself when he told me he lost a patient for the first time. He was heartbroken and I wished I could be with him in person just to hold him through it.

Or the call after the first cadaver lab; it's so humbling and perspective changing. So many students quit after that day because it's so awful for them.

For after residency and such, the first official complaint. Or the first major red tape that prevents you from saving a life.

I don't think this thread will have answers. But I think we need to have at least one space to open the table for darker talk. I'm sure some of you have stories to share or questions about what's to come.

A common phrase is 'live in the moment'. It's supposed to help you relieve anxiety and not focus on outside factors.

I think at times, we're too good at that. We know exactly how to live in the moment, we do it every damn day (those of us that aren't stabilzed). With bipolar we have so much practice accepting what's right in front of us, it's living outside the moment that's hard.

I'm so depressed, it's all I can see.
I'm so intrigued, it's all I can think about.
I'm so happy, I'm going to enjoy every bit of this memory I can and not think about the consequences.

If we live outside the moment,
I'm so depressed but I know this won't last, and if I don't do the bare minimum it'll all fall down.
I'm so intrigued, but I haven't showered in two weeks so that should be a new priority.
I'm so happy I never want this to end, but I'll be broke next week if this keeps up.

I dunno, that sounded all help-book-ish, but I really think if we try to take some moments and remember all the factors around us, it might be easier to control the behaviors.

It's a hassle, it takes a whole in-game week+, but it's worth it too.
I've never been very social with my zois - they tend to latch onto the first few people they meet. I just moved my zoi family to a new town and decided to try to meet everyone that's actually a resident and not some out-of-town spawn. This was done in Cahaya, there's not as many families, other cities may take over a week to finish.

1. First goal is to get at least one person in the other family to meet each of your family members
2. Have other-family-zoi schedule a party that's after work/school for all members of both families (remember to give them an hour in between to take care of emergency needs before teleporting, I've been doing 6-10pm)
3. Remember to cancel other scheduled items during that time for each member of both families, or they may keep trying to leave
4. Switch to each of your family members during the party and make sure everyone has met all members of the other family
5. Don't forget to get contact info for anyone you're interested in getting to know better

There was a lot of switching back and forth between families, but if you pause it when switching it doesn't interrupt the simulation, everyone will be in the exact same spot. Given that the initial meeting of the families in step 1 can be a pain in the butt, you may be able to schedule a 'party' for your family located at the other family's house. Then you could control the other family and have them meet everyone that way.

Yeah it's a hassle, and my family is exhausted from having a dinner party every night for a week. But I feel like the immersion and social aspect are that much stronger for it. (plus it's easier to hunt for a marriage match when you scout the town!)

Tl;dr: Host dinner parties with each family to get to know everyone in town

Time for an update on Katsumi & Kohana!
As some of you requested, here's an update on how the Nature vs. Nurture experiment is going :)
(my spouse has since told me that's not actually what nature vs. nurture means, but hey we're using a social definition and we're sticking with it)

Hypothesis: Autonomy in InZoi is good, but I suspect they don't have long term goals, even with smartzoi active. I expect the variable unattended child to meet their needs but not much else and the controlled child to far exceed in all factors - skills, ambitions, school performance, and relationships.

Method: Two kids born a day apart that age up on the same days. One is controlled 90% of the time (Katsumi), the other is left to fend for themselves since toddlerhood (Kohana). Allowance to intervene with the variable child upon desperation.

Progress: My last post was as toddlers, showing that Katsumi raised several of her skills while Kohana spent the entire time playing in the toilet. Waited a week for the update before they aged to children (and found out school is only high school). Spent 6 days as children, 10 days as adolescents, and have spent 4 weeks as teens so far.

Issues: Unfortunately, the best part of this experiment is being kept from us. Katsumi is able to attend school normally but Kohana got the 'already graduated high school' bug and is unable to attend. Even worse, my autosaves are frequent and I only use one save file (not anymore!) so I was not able to reload before to try again, by the time I realized what happened it was too late. We're pretending that Kohana opted out of school and that's totally a legal decision children can make.

Katsumi 👯‍♀️💖

Kohana 👯‍♀️💖

Updates!

• The moment they aged up, both went to read an art book. During this game I have not ever edited their bodies or hair, only clothing and tied-up hairstyles. They both are turning out SO adorable! If you're curious, I made matching outfits for each category. Katsumi is yellow and Kohana is blue ^((or gold and periwinkle for those who love colors)) https://imgur.com/a/Cb2MlN1
• Katsumi became an Individualist, introverted workaholic; Kohana is an Explorer and a lively bookworm.
• In childhood Katsumi maxed out all of her skills and Kohana maxed none. However, consistently Kohana's school performance reports were advancing faster than Katsumi's, even though I never saw her do homework. She received outstanding performance several days before her sister.
• I've found that Katsumi never complains about homework even if it's after midnight, she always does her tasks without getting overwhelmed. Most of the time if her needs are met she's in a wonderful mood. The introverted trait comes in at parties and more importantly, school. I have to keep her needs met more than others I've played because she's always uncomfortable if there's more than 3 or 4 people around. She's been getting A+ in school, has tried 3 clubs, and been to prom 4 times (voted prom queen twice!). She's achieved two school-related ambitions and they'll age up on the next prom night. During all that she developed a romantic relationship with Charlie - the preppy smart cheerleader fell for the goth computer club guy!
• Kohana has been interesting. She is absolutely lively, she loves chatting and being around people! Yet I haven't seen her with a book since she became a teen. Kohana spent almost all of her time trying to chat with her sister. It was very cute, but got to be a nuisance because Katsumi couldn't get her homework done at home. Typically Kat would start eating and doing homework around 6 and wouldn't be in bed until 2:30am because of all the conversation interruptions.
• I ended up doing an Emergency Rescue on Kohana and updating her smartzoi to indicate that she wants to learn new things. She still absolutely enjoys talking to the family, I think that's just who she is. But now if I cancel a couple chat requests she'll wander off and do something else. One night I came back and saw that she wrote an entire book while I was gone! I published it for her and she's the first sister to have made any money.
• Regarding relationships, Kohana also had a lot more people in her contact list than Katsumi. I typically spend 85% of the time building skills or meeting needs and sometimes forget my zoi needs to leave the house and see people. By the time I checked both phones Katsumi only had the family and 3 other contacts, Kohana had over 10 people in her phone!
• The relationship between the two sisters is adorable. They're always chatting and joking around, and Kohana always initiates sweet family dialogue. If Katsumi sneaks out at night, Kohana says she'll cover for her. Eventually Kohana learned cooking on her own and would have meals ready for the family when Katsumi got home. They go to each other for advice and play in the backyard frequently. They're really the ideal image of sisters.

https://preview.redd.it/sn8ky2fnwn9h1.jpg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dae66acabda24cf38860e3b883683b041b6491a9

Result:
I'm surprised! While my hypothesis is correct in that the controlled zoi will have more basic functions and better skills, I was wrong that the unattended variable zoi would fall behind. Kohana had more social relationships, better elementary school performance, and made money before her sister ever did.

It's a shame Kohana couldn't go to high school, but she'll be able to get a job and go to university still. They have another week to go until they're young adults and I think the experiment comparisons will pick back up!
This may be my last update unless you guys express interest in seeing how they do at university and adult work; that update would be much farther in the future. I'll continue playing but they've drifted enough apart that it's harder to keep track of Kohana as Katsumi's life gets busier. If you guys want a future update, I'll make sure they continue living together.

Long term goals for the family -
After aging to young adults, the sisters are moving out of Bliss Bay to Cahaya. Katsumi is bringing along her future husband, and Kohana may possibly bring along their parents and keep living with them. If everything goes well we're doing a lineage play with the same experiment; Katsumi will have twins that grow up in Cahaya and move to Dowon after graduation. Ideally by then the school bug will be fixed!

Guys, in my 20 years of simulations I've never had aging on. This is fun!
Here are some screenshot compilations if you're curious.
Childhood: https://imgur.com/a/sac2qmD
Teens: https://imgur.com/a/BRZWeik
Katsumi & Charlie: https://imgur.com/a/3kLUBkc

I've only attended Bliss Bay's school in person and it's exactly what I'd expect from an American school.

Do the schools in Dowon or Cahaya look more city or island-like?

I finally had my first funeral for the death of a friend.

Ms. Thea was the nanny for my zoi's kids. I had a late night club job with my spouse so both parents were frequently out with two babies at home. Thea would always be the one to come over and nanny for the family.

The kids ended up liking her a lot and my zoi established a working relationship with her. When the kids were too old to need a nanny my zoi happened to be looking for an employee to maintain a managed business; Ms. Thea stepped up, happy to help the family again. She did such a good job that as the only employee since opening, she managed to get the business to be 5 stars.

My zoi is eternally grateful for this woman beyond her years. Then the texts came, "this phone is no longer active" and "your employee resigned with no explanation". Concerned, my zoi rushed over to the business as it was currently open and I wanted to know what happened.

Tons of angry customers. I watched a woman break my vending machine and get arrested. People are shouting at each other. This is a business that's supposed to be a cheap room for the night, I guess the chaos and price are just like real life! Even after all this I find no sign of Thea; closed the business and headed to the columbarium.

Took out her urn and woke up my whole family at 10pm to have a funeral then and there. No excuses, this lady practically raised you. I hold the ceremony and watch the mourners. After my husband lays his flowers, he comes up to me and says "I want to grow old together". At first I thought it wasn't the time or place for romance, but that's actually really sweet given the context.

My zoi took the urn home and made a gravesite in the backyard. The next day she was going through mourning rituals when her husband came outside to join her. When she finished, he came up again and said "I want to grow old with you"

Tldr: man I enjoy making stories in these games, sometimes they're really unexpected and nice!

Granted I've only finished episode 2, I really feel like it does a good job of explaining the pure shit our spouses go through sometimes.

It's a drama, but those of us who have been in it for a while have probably experienced that phase no matter the specialty - something absolutely terrible goes wrong, they can't talk about it, we see right through them but they can't open up.

This is especially true for the doctors that come home and try to bottle it up instead of unloading. Some of the things that happened to my spouse in med school and residency, I only found out about because of nightmares he was having, or breakdowns that finally happened. It's gotten better over the years but the cases are also much more complex. There are times I really wish he'd just tell me what happened, even if he thinks I cant handle it. Then I remember it's probably so bad that by telling me he's reliving it.

Have any of you watched this show? Again I'm just starting but it seems to be a good example of the emotional roller-coaster, schedule issues, and relationship strains the docs have to deal with in real life. ​​

I posted this on the suggestion forum and I'd like to see what you guys think too!
--

I believe it would be a quality of life change for running a business if we can assign where dishes go when restocking business items.

For example, if you have 4 recipes assigned and 4 food stands. Assigning “fried chicken” to a stand would 1) tell employees where specific items need to be placed and 2) quickly indicate to the player what recipes are low and need restocking.

Issue it can help fix: some recipes, like mango rice or fried chicken, will completely fill up food stall when placed while other recipes will only take up one slot.
Currently I’m running a two story bar/club serving two types of drinks and two types of food. I’ve placed 15+ stands around the business for easy npc access, but also so I can still place drinks if my employees keep making mango rice.

Another issue/benefit that is related, it would be nice to assign recipes to stands so NPCs know where to pick them up as well. A customer might order a drink from the kiosk downstairs while all the drinks are on stands upstairs, I think it’s possible that longer pathing results in slow service marks.
Instead, perhaps an NPC will know if they want a drink, they should go order from the kiosk closest to the stand that has drinks assigned.

Thank you so much for your hard work and consideration!
--

I would like it to be optional, not required, then I think this would really help organize things and help business run smoother. What do you think?

There's a handful of us that have been experiencing more crashes recently even though we haven't changed our settings and it was running fine before. I'm finding that the game catches at times, will freeze on me and even freeze my computer if I wait too long for it to recover.

Last night every time it tried to freeze on me I did ctrl+alt+delete and brought up task manager. Without fail this got the game functional again almost instantly.
Doing this resets some things in the way your computer is processing and prioritizing data, and gives the game a break from rendering for a second to catch up.

I hope this works for other people too, best of luck and happy zoi-ing!

Hi all! I was diagnosed in high school and basically told there's nothing I can do about it. Middle aged now and finally decided to look into it again and found this sub.

Back then I was going through a traumatic period and chest pain started popping up. Anyone that did take me seriously told me it was stress and that I should relax and take some deep breaths (which were SO fun because it made it hurt more sometimes). I even noticed that sometimes heavy humidity in the air would make it difficult to breathe without pain - I still don't know if that's related but it hurt the same area! For me it's always right over my heart/under my left breast. I feel popping in the lower ribs sometimes but the pain is always localized in the same spot.

Senior year in HS I was at the chiropractor for my mom's appointment and mentioned it to the guy there. They actually had time to do an evaluation for me then and there, and he told me it's costochondritis. They gave me some topical pain cream and told me to use ice and take pain meds, but not much else. I was more over the moon someone finally took me seriously that I didn't think to dive in an ask further questions.
Fun fact: our high school nurse didn't care much, everyone had a story. My chest pain was particularly bad one day so I decided to finally ask for a bag of ice. She told me I can't have one unless I had a dr's note (?!) so my friend escorted me to the football field house to get ice there instead. Why are you gatekeeping a bag of ice, lady?!

When I looked it up back then, something told me that the cartilage in the ribs is calcifying - when I look it up now I'm seeing "we don't know what causes it but the chest wall tightens" so I don't know if I read something wrong or we dismissed a hypothesis along the way. What I did see is that it feels like a heart attack, I guess another instance of women complaining about pain and no one is concerned. I had some pretty severe pain in high school and if I could have said, "breathing is painful and it hurts like a heart attack" maybe I would have gotten that bag of ice from the nurse! I feel for all of you that weren't diagnosed until much later.

I've just found this sub this morning and the very first post I saw was a photo of someone's ribs with a complaint that the bottom right side pops out weird - OMG. I have been trying to get someone to take that seriously and tell me why since high school too, it makes sense they could be related! Recently I've had a lot of flare ups and it feels like my whole ribcage is lifted higher and stuck in position. Seeing so many posts about stretching and exercises kind of blew my mind. DUH that would probably help.

I've been stuck on 'there's nothing you can do for it' for decades. So glad I found you guys!
If you have any insight from my history or advice to share, I'm open. I'm seeing that there's further diagnoses that could be made depending on the type of pain, I'm wondering if it's worth going back to a doctor or not

I've been flying united for over two decades, several times a year.

They have gone SO far downhill over the years. It used to be a creep, now its a snowball. Every single flight I've taken in the last year has been delayed or had to be rescheduled.

Tonight we had a flight at 7, which got delayed to 9:30. They boarded us at 9:50, stayed at the gate a long time to switch out crew, and took over 15 minutes to taxi. We waited on the runway for a long time and at 10:55 they announced thay the pilots are now illegal to fly, we cant go anywhere tonight.

There's no more flights out tonight and the earliest flight out tomorrow would still have us missing our world cup match. If we had known they were going to drag their feet and replace with exhausted crew that cant even pretend to take off, we would have had several HOURS of time to reschedule at the airport.

Of course United won't refund us for anything 'not their fault'. What the heck do people do in this situation?

I mean if a company has customer service shitting the bed, poor treatment even in first class, overbooking out the butt, constantly causing delays, and wasting extra gas to fly higher and make up for constantly... I mean geez I might end up trying delta for the first time in my life.

I seriously cannot believe how awful united has gotten.

edit: we must have some terrible luck. finally made it to a gate, pilots just left the plane like it was burning. Its midnight, crew doesn't even know if we're getting off or waiting for other crew team ​

edit 2: 12:45am. the deboarded, told us to get back on, had to wait for a third set of pilots, then the FAs timed out. Negotiated salary, ready to board, system has crashed. It's 1:08am.

I've stopped telling him to fuck off at every turn and started listening. I'm liking him a lot.
Maybe not as a friend, but I respect his conviction.

Years ago I'd never really played shooters before. I'd played Skyrim for an in-depth rpg, but it wasn't nearly as emotional or involved. I also was in a totally different place mentally.
I spent the entire run trying to avoid conflict (rude awakening for Cyberpunk!) and picking dialogue that I felt was 'right', met my instincts, and tried not to piss anyone off.
Except Johnny. I was having fun pissing him off and telling him he's just a passenger, he doesn't have any say.

I was fighting and hoping for a way past the chip melting your brain. Even though everyone said it wasn't possible I figured it's a game, there must be a way!
My run ended with V having submitted to Arasaka. She learned no lessons and ended up with the final cutscene being a psych eval on a space station or something by an Arasaka doctor. I remember thinking "okay, I did what you want, I can go now?" and of course, since it's Arasaka at the very end of the game I realized I'd been tricked and had trapped V as a test subject or worse forever.
Part of me wonders if I would have made those decisions if Johnny wasn't in my ear telling me to be violent constantly.

It's now several years later. I'm a different person with different outlooks and more shooter gaming experience. I've played enough to do a bunch of the quests and unlock Dog Town (but I haven't been there yet). I'm enjoying the updates and now I run up and kill anyone marked as enemies. I've become somewhat competent at fighting and firmer in personality, so running into a building full of enemies is just another Tuesday now.

I'm reading between the lines in dialogue and have the game knowledge to better understand what's happening now. I'm catching symbolism and even prophecies I hadn't noticed before, I feel more connected to the NPCs. That means Johnny as well. This time around, I'm avoiding mocking him when I can. I try to be patient and listen - this guy has been through a lot of stress!!
Granted a lot of it is self-inflicted, but as you get more info from him (and bear with the violent streak) he actually has some decent points.

Right after seeing Alt past at the Blackwall last night, Johnny had a lot to say.

>Ok, I'll tell ya why I wanna destroy Arasaka, but I'll only tell ya once. Wanna hear it?
I saw corps strip farmers of water... and eventually of land.
Saw them transform Night City into a machine fueled by people's crushed spirits, broken dreams, and emptied pockets.
Corps've long controlled our lives, taken lots... and now they're after our souls!
V, I've declared war not 'cause capitalism's a thorn in my side or outta nostalgia for an America gone by.
This war's a people's war against a system that's spiraled outta our control. It's a war against the fuckin' forces of entropy, understand?!
Do whatever it takes to stop 'em, defeat 'em, gut 'em. If I gotta kill, I'll kill. If I need your body, I'll fuckin' take it!
Fuckin' hell...
You still don't see it. But you will one day.

^(Thanks for the performance Keanu, it was good.)

I always play a Corpo background because I'm a corpo in real life. Years ago I was balking at disturbing the status quo, but after years of real life experience and now understanding Cyberpunk's story better... yeah Johnny. You make some damn good points. I truly don't think even Johnny's plan would be enough to permanently change things (and maybe they address this too in a different ending) but heck Johnny- I'm dying anyway. Blaze of Glory is sounding tastier by the day.

The MOST fun part about all of this is that I get the feeling there's no right decision.
Cyberpunk seems to be more about the journey - and Misti tells you that straight up when she reads your tarot. The mysticism and symbolism in this game are NOT fluff, I think they did a damn great job of slipping in warnings, prophecies, and telling you exactly what things are only if you're paying attention. There's a shard you can read that flat out tells you the white cat >!is a bakeneko, a yokai that can bring people back to life. That's why you see him when you wake up at Vik's and when Johnny is revived in one of his cutscenes. !<

If you wanted to combine the symbolism with the state of the world and the fact you and Johnny keep getting revived, and the tarot guiding you throughout town - this is destiny. You were meant to do something to change the status quo. The universe wants you alive to accomplish your task.

With all this knowledge, diving deeper with Johnny, and not being afraid of the world... heck yeah Johnny. Blaze of Glory, let's do this.

Tl;dr: I am just so appreciative of the efforts they put into immersion. Keanu did a great job with Johnny too.

The immersion is already great, but I want to take it to the next level for this playthrough.
I'm already eating when I find food and drink, and I'm not fast traveling anywhere. I take the metro train then a delemain cab the rest of the way.

Is there anything you like to do to make a playthrough more immersive?

The answers that have come up in my search all seem like abandoned mods, I'm searching for any recommendations you feel are still active and usable. Thanks!

I've finished the story a couple times and now I'm interested in joyriding, a sort of GTA / Saint's Row style of play. Problem is MaxTac doesn't like that very much!

I'd like to be able to drive around recklessly, oops I ran over a citizen oh well, and shoot back at people without a wanted level. I want to be able to accidentally do something wrong and not have MaxTac drop in.

Bonus points for QoL mods that make food/drink more important or daily life boosts; I'm really trying to immerse myself in a chill way.