u/ourseveres

a handful of years ago, i (30m) was really into the SCA (medieval recreation, my husband was a fencer and we went to fighting practice every week, but he's working a bit more now so we haven't been in a while). honestly it was the best thing that's ever happened to me. i loved the dressing up, the events, the arts and crafts, watching people beat the crap out of each other with sticks, everything.

one of the most amazing parts of it though was all the people i was able to meet; we got essentially adopted into a family of the most incredible 60 year old woman (who i'll call M) who somehow seems to know everybody. [crazy side note: my husband grew up 2 states away. the woman who got him into the SCA? she used to be babysat by M decades ago. talk about coincidences.]

however the point of the story is that we went to an event one time, and M introduced us to a young couple around my husband's and my age. should point out at this part that we have wanted kids for a long time, but we're "blessed" with the "opportunity" to "wait for financial stability" (i.e we're gay, can't just go for it). so this awesome couple has a 1 and some year old girl and a baby boy with them. all four of them have the brightest red hair, and the the little girl (A) has the most incredible curls. like nothing you've ever seen before. i also happen to have curly red hair, but definitely not to her level.

A can't really talk much yet, but i happened to have brought a chess set box that coincidentally had a bunch of steven universe toys from like maybe 10 years ago still in it, and her mother was ecstatic because they watch it together. A and i hit it off immediately. i pretend to teach her chess. she is well behaved enough not to eat the pieces.

so i get tasked with babysitting at this event! i absolutely love it, husband and I had the time of our lives. the parents are so so relieved to finally get some time to themselves to enjoy their hobbies and that's all i could ever ask for.

cue the next event, we see them again! this is a while later, and A is now 2, and is definitely capable of speech. it seems to take her a while to realize it's me but the second her mom reminds her she's literally already jumping into my lap. she's a very affectionate and attention-needing toddler, and her little brother is now able to crawl, so husband and i are back on babysitting duty x2 while their parents get some much needed rest and fun with everyone else.

we meet maybe 2 more times, one of them a camping trip, before my our hiatus from the SCA but during that time some highlights of many are:

- her insisting that I put on her shoes, even though her mother is in the process of bending down to do so

- her and i spending 20 entire minutes picking out beads and putting them into my little hip pouch (we visit that table 3 more times at her insistence later)

- me carrying her around almost everywhere and no less than half a dozen people in an hour asking if she's mine and being certain we're related ("honestly i don't even know where her parents are") ((you'd be surprised how not concerning a phrase like that is in a place like that XD))

- her wanting me to take her to the park we were camping next to first thing in the morning and then several more times throughout the day

- me encouraging her to make friends with other 2 year olds at the park, watching her successfully do it

- her calling me "her best friend"

- her cheering on my husband during the fighting tournament

- her and her brother (who can suddenly walk very fast) being so so sleepy in the cold morning but immediately coming over to our camp before their parents are even up and plopping themselves right down into my and my husband's laps around the fire

just sort of missing her and everything about the SCA today. i hope she remembers me if we meet again lol!

just wanted to show some appreciation, best dnd games i've ever had in my life have been run by trans women. the voices they can pull off are incredible, for starters, aside from the fact that the games themselves are always just stellar. if there are any lovely individuals out there in that category reading this, just know you are amazing.

i accidentally fell off my meds for 2 months (bipolar), hit a crazy manic swing and there is a noticeable psychotic episode starting up and i was really nicely encouraged by some lovely people around here to call my therapist literally right that second while i still had the sense to do so.

didn't realize it was such a big deal until i sat down and started talking, and her face went very serious, and she started taking note after note as i was going on. filled up almost 2 pages in like 20 minutes, that's never really happened with us in the few years i've been going.

she stopped us halfway through to email my psychiatrist and the nurses. one of them said i shouldn't immediately start back up on the ones i was taking because this is the first time i've come in there manic instead of depressed. inpatient got brought up a few times. been there before but not in this state of mind. i'm gonna be really disappointed in myself if this gets worse enough for me to go but i know i'm not at the peak and i'm probably going to be getting a few phone calls over the next few days to check up on me.

i'm gonna be 30 on monday! big one. definitely the mania speaking but yeah sure i'll spend my birthday in the psych ward. why not.

been off my meds long enough for symptoms to come back. lost about 4 hours today and later realized i was yelling at nothing in the car. big difference between doing it for fun and getting legitimately mad because you're losing an argument with yourself.

told my therapist about how the evil guy that makes me say stupid things that get me in trouble manifests as a spiritual entity in my car, havent told anyone in my life thats its pretty much a separate thing from me entirely. heard my own voice call for me from across the house the other day and ive just been so so angry because i was medicated for so long that i forgot what this feels like.

the post is not about the title im just mad because im trying to vent and idk what keywords the ai keeps picking up which isnt helping because obviously the computer's out to get me

anyway my symptoms are no longer being managed for the time being. stuff happened got inconvenient its been a few months and this is the first time in years ive felt like this. trying to mitigate it as hard as i can, and i do have appointments set up. but im really. really. really manic right now. hitting what feels like a peak and i cant tell if its a good thing or a bad thing and even though i know im in an entirely safe place i feel like im internally on fire but also, theres this perfect divine clarity to every single micromovement im making.

i have appointments set up, seeing my psych before my therapist but the mania and impending psychotic episode is saying things like "nooo i dont want to start meds again i want to meet (therapist)" because she's never seen me manic before but also ive NEVER had a thought like that before and its like getoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyhead.

idk! idk idk all thoughts welcome i just feel very alone right now because my wonderful loving support system is too nice for me to inflict my absolutely inane train of thought upon and also it's literally the middle of the night and i know i'm not going to sleep tonight

born in 1996, my first device was my very own mp3 player :) my parents were both very musically inclined and made sure i could listen to whatever i wanted whenever i wanted, and i Did have a cd player but of course, i was limited to what few cds i had "borrowed" from my parents

so my dad (who just wanted to listen to metallica all day) loaded up this little blue rectangle with no doubt, avril lavigne, bon jovi, elo, the phantom of the opera, and a bunch of other 80s-90s stuff that would end up having a massive impact on my life.

i was also kind of a timid child who felt the need to ask permission for most things and i vividly remember being about 5 on the way home from a road trip, and it was dead silent (i think they mightve been arguing lmao) i really, really wanted to listen to the phantom of the opera but i knew that my cds were at home--until i realized my little bag had my mp3 player in it.

id never even worn my headphones in the car before. didnt realize that was an option. so i asked if i could listen to it and it will forever stick in my head the way my dad turned around and looked at me like 🤨 uhhh yeah its yours, you can listen to it whenever you want. the joy that just exploded in little 5yo me was insane.

just did that with the princess bride so i could make sure not to embarrass myself later.

so itd be one thing if i had nightmares like my grandpa whos been through a war, but apparently im an unusual person. its rare for me to have bad dreams but when they do happen its never stuff like monsters or disasters.

its stuff like my laptop typing on its own, pillow rising up from the bed. stuff that isnt physically possible or doesnt make sense.

and last night i was trting to take a midnight nap because ive got so much to do, and i end up having a dream that im holding my cat feeding her treats.

and she looks up and says "I'm full."

i immediately drop her and start fcking spiraling, like hyperventilating room spinning THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

and my automatic nightmare reaction EVERY TIME, unconscious, is to think "I'm uncomfortable. i know what to do." and I'll start screaming in my sleep.

scared the living shit out of my husband and ruined what little sleep i have before we leave to go out of town for a week.

so itd be one thing if i had nightmares like my grandpa whos been through a war, but apparently im an unusual person. its rare for me to have bad dreams but when they do happen its never stuff like monsters or disasters.

its stuff like my laptop typing on its own, pillow rising up from the bed. stuff that isnt physically possible or doesnt make sense.

and last night i was trting to take a midnight nap because ive got so much to do, and i end up having a dream that im holding my cat feeding her treats.

and she looks up and says "I'm full."

i immediately drop her and start fcking spiraling, like hyperventilating room spinning THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

and my automatic nightmare reaction EVERY TIME, unconscious, is to think "I'm uncomfortable. i know what to do." and I'll start screaming in my sleep.

scared the living shit out of my husband and ruined what little sleep i have before we leave to go out of town for a week.

so we've got a cat but are not particularly dog people. both our families very much are though, so we dont have much of a choice but to love them if you know what i mean. my husband is extraordinarily good with all of them, especially the little ones, because he knows exactly how much to antagonize a dog for fun, so all of them tend to flock to him more than their own owners lol.

my mom had three chihuahuas at some point, and they were absolute darlings and the worst little nightmares you've ever seen, as tiny dogs tend to be. there was Wilson and Charlie, both of whom are presumably still trying to knock each other out of the clouds a few years after crossing rainbow bridge not so far apart, and a very timid little girl named Shayla who we suspect was older than them, and she's still with us.

ok so the actual story: my husband i were living with my mom for a while, and her least favorite thing was giving the dogs a bath. we had a little laundry room in the basement with a big old sink that was perfect for it, but the dogs hated it, she hated it, she'd have to close all three of them in there with her for the whole process or they'd go hide under the couches, they'd be trying to jump out of the sink the entire time, water everywhere. sucked.

so one day all three of them needed it bad, and she just wasn't up for it. she ended up asking me, but i. am. lazy. and i figure that my husband is better with them anyway so i managed to convince him to do it on the condition that i hang out and make sure they don't break their little legs trying to jump to freedom.

so i watch as he proceeds to get the soap and the towels ready, and then, he brings out the ultimate tool.

pepperoni.

somehow, this man gets Wilson, the angriest minpin you'd ever meet, so hyped up that he doesn't even realize that he's getting put down in the sink, and then he just starts feeding him slices while pouring cups of water on him. eventually stops, and this dog just keeps sitting there in the sink while he's getting soaped up, and he's acting like he's enjoying it. granted, my husband is naturally incredible at everything he does (it's those gentle hands) but Wilson just sits there and takes it.

so he finishes up with him and i'm responsible for drying him off, so i've got Wilson up on top of the dryer while he puts Charlie, a general anxious wreck, in the sink, and this little guy has never looked so happy to be anywhere in his life.

husband starts feeding him pepperoni and goes through the exact same process, not a single whine, actually looks like he's enjoying being bathed for the first time in his entire life.

by this point Shayla has caught on to what's going on and is just sitting and staring at my husband shaking and waiting for her turn with the pepperoni.

anyway, all three of them are clean soft puppies in way less time than my mom ever took and she's on the couch staring at my husband like "wait, how did you even do that," and proceeded to pay him for several more sessions later on.

It was really great because this was at a point where one of our local farms were selling them cheap because this was early, early 2020. And these onions came in 50 pound bags. So I had like, 20 bags to offload to a few schoolteachers i knew and old acquaintances of his that i didn't. Got to meet some real lovely people.

But for the first few houses I made the mistake of asking "would you guys like some onions from my grandpa Jack?" and they would say "oh we'll take a few thank you!"

Except that would require me opening up a 50 pound bag of onions just to give them 3. How am I supposed to get rid of 1000 lbs of onions like that?

So I decided to change up my pitch and chat them up and say "My grandpa Jack wants you guys to have some free onions!"

And then I'd unload a 50 pound bag of onions and drop them at their door, hop back in the truck and speed off before they could figure out a way to tell me that they didn't want 50 pounds of onions.

No one who knows my grandpa is surprised by this though. My sister invited her cheerleading team over once and I heard them scream when they saw that there was an entire fridge full to bursting with cheese because it was on sale.

:) I'm just so happy for him. he's wanted this for a long time and the needle thing was holding him way back, hes been on t for a hot minute but gel can be hard to take consistently every day with adhd and the like. he's been so so so brave and I'm incredibly happy for him

some 'common sense' isn't common. that doesn't mean people are stupid. that and "no way you've never heard this song before you liar" but i grew up under a musical rock and refused to listen to the radio in middle school :(

i (29m) finally got an eye exam for the first time last week, and my first ever pair of glasses. I can see things now! it's great and everyone says they look good on me

one thing i didn't expect though: my partner of FIFTEEN(15) years just said to me the other day that he was worried about having to get used to me wearing them, but apparently it was so easy that he suddenly thinks i look weird without them!! pretty sure that means he likes them ;)

on another hand, i let my mom try them on and she looked at me and apologized for not taking me to the optometrist as a child. i had to remind her that i was the one kid out of her three that actually actively refused to go because i hated doctors of literally any kind when i was young. didn't help that curly hair and glasses were not fashionable during my middle school years lmaooooo

but yes. i like my new glasses.