u/rockyjay23

I’m not against tipping. I just wish there was legislation to vote on it or I wish there was changes made. Not to end it completely but to make it what it used to be lol.

➕ Tip:
- I agree w tipping a server at a restaurant. I’m a generous tipper as I’ve worked as a server for many years. So I know that in some states servers get paid less than minimum wage to account for tips. (For example, I live in California so is servers get paid minimum wage plus tips, but when I lived in Florida, we were paid 2 to 3 dollars an hour which is far below minimum wage because the state gov knows we get tips). Even if the service wasn’t great I tip a standard 20% because maybe they’re new or just having a bad day. 25%+ for excellent service.

- I agree w tipping a food delivery driver. A flat rate $5 tip for pizza delivery used to be a good / typical tip for that. Now 20%+ is expected which I disagree with.

-I agree w tipping bartenders at the end of the night or well at the beginning when you get your first drink. But tipping $5-$10 on every $20 drink they take 5 seconds to make in a busy bar feels like a lot to me.

❌ Tip:
- I disagree w tipping for fast food, coffee shops, kiosk/cash register orders w pickup windows. Basically non-service food establishments.

-I disagree w tipping for a non-food service. When 1. they are paid well 2. the service is already costly. Like repairs (usually hundreds of dollars), beauty salons ($50-hundreds of dollars), my DOCTORS OFFICE had a tip option when signing after my appt.

-I disagree w tipping independent contractors that keep all profits and set their own prices. Like geez just put it in the price.

-I disagree w tipping the percentage of the bill AFTER tax. Why are we tipping on tax??

-I disagree w sneaky restaurants giving an option for adding additional tip on top of the already pre-added gratuity, usually for bigger group sizes.
(And they’re shady about it. When they add it themselves, they call it gratuity, but when they give the option to add more and the same bill they call it a tip. Why not call it a tip both times so those who don’t understand what gratuity is know that it is a tip already included? Why have the option to add ANOTHER tip on top of the tip they already added themselves? It’s greedy and not transparent at all. I recently had a bday dinner. Total was $750. I manually tipped 20% = $150. Total I paid was $900. Only to later realize they had already added $150 automatic gratuity because of the 6 people party size. So I ended up tipping $300 on a $600 bill. Literally 50% smh)

-I disagree w the “no tip” not being on the same screen as the pre-made tip screen. Like when there is not a “no tip” button so you have to select “custom tip” and then type in $0.

-I disagree w the server holding the card terminal, hovering over you, intentionally or not pressuring you while you enter the tip. Can we bring back dropping off the check and walking away so we have time and privacy to review and calculate the tip?

-I disagree w the preset tip amounts starting at 20% then reaching 50%+ It should start at 10%

-I disagree w paying a tip BEFORE receiving your food delivery or finishing your meal, or actually getting the service.

So yea that’s my rant. I’m cool w tipping but now I have negative feelings about it and fatigue. It makes me never want to go anywhere.

I have several family members with bipolar disorder, as it is a highly heritable condition. I wanted to share what it looks like across the different people I know who don’t take their meds:

My two cousins have BD1. Neither takes meds and both experience psychosis. One was also recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. Both are very unwell in life.

My two aunts have BD2. Both unmedicated. One is in a chronic state of depression and has SI, smokes a lot of weed as a coping mechanism/escape. The other is in EMDR therapy, lives an extremely calm life, is happily married, and has been doing well with minimal episodes for the past decade. Her symptoms show most during breakups or major life hardships, which she has fortunately avoided for a while. When they hit, her depressive episodes last for months. she barely eats or leaves her room. They’re usually followed by hypomanic episodes where she sleeps poorly for days/weeks.

My bf’s nephew has BD1 and schizophrenia. Unmedicated. He experiences severe, destructive episodes. Recently, his episodes have decreased primarily because he has become a recluse who never leaves his parents house, avoiding external triggers.

My daughter’s aunt has BD1. Unmedicated. People think she is on drugs because she stays in a nearly constant hypomanic or manic state. She can’t keep a job, makes big life changes all the time, irritable, sleeps very little, but she’s the life of the party.

I have BD1 (originally diagnosed BD2 until I had two severe manic episodes without psychosis). I spent a recent year off medication, w mild hypomanic episodes that were not life altering (unlike my previous episodes). I stayed in an underlying depressive state that dulled my ability to enjoy things 100%. But was hardly noticeable.
After taking a few mental illness educational classes I learned that episodes eat away gray matter in the brain and harm brain structure + function. So I restarted my meds. I feel good and treating the depression has helped my overall quality of life

I have several family members with bipolar disorder, as it is a highly heritable condition. I wanted to share what it looks like across the different people I know who don’t take their meds:

My two cousins have BD1. Neither takes meds and both experience psychosis. One was also recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. Both are very unwell in life.

My two aunts have BD2. Both unmedicated. One is in a chronic state of depression and has SI, smokes a lot of weed as a coping mechanism/escape. The other is in EMDR therapy, lives an extremely calm life, is happily married, and has been doing well with minimal episodes for the past decade. Her symptoms show most during breakups or major life hardships, which she has fortunately avoided for a while. When they hit, her depressive episodes last for months. she barely eats or leaves her room. They’re usually followed by hypomanic episodes where she sleeps poorly for days/weeks.

My bf’s nephew has BD1 and schizophrenia. Unmedicated. He experiences severe, destructive episodes. Recently, his episodes have decreased primarily because he has become a recluse who never leaves his parents house, avoiding external triggers.

My daughter’s aunt has BD1. Unmedicated. People think she is on drugs because she stays in a nearly constant hypomanic or manic state. She can’t keep a job, makes big life changes all the time, irritable, sleeps very little, but she’s the life of the party.

I have BD1 (originally diagnosed BD2 until I had two severe manic episodes without psychosis). I spent a recent year off medication, w mild hypomanic episodes that were not life altering (unlike my previous episodes). I stayed in an underlying depressive state that dulled my ability to enjoy things 100%. But was hardly noticeable.
After taking a few mental illness educational classes I learned that episodes eat away gray matter in the brain and harm brain structure + function. So I restarted my meds. I feel good and treating the depression has helped my overall quality of life

I have several family members with bipolar disorder, as it is a highly heritable condition. I wanted to share what it looks like across the different people I know who don’t take their meds:

My two cousins have BD1. Neither takes meds and both experience psychosis. One was also recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. Both are very unwell in life.

My two aunts have BD2. Both unmedicated. One is in a chronic state of depression and has SI, smokes a lot of weed as a coping mechanism/escape. The other is in EMDR therapy, lives an extremely calm life, is happily married, and has been doing well with minimal episodes for the past decade. Her symptoms show most during breakups or major life hardships, which she has fortunately avoided for a while. When they hit, her depressive episodes last for months. she barely eats or leaves her room. They’re usually followed by hypomanic episodes where she sleeps poorly for days/weeks.

My bf’s nephew has BD1 and schizophrenia. Unmedicated. He experiences severe, destructive episodes. Recently, his episodes have decreased primarily because he has become a recluse who never leaves his parents house, avoiding external triggers.

My daughter’s aunt has BD1. Unmedicated. People think she is on drugs because she stays in a nearly constant hypomanic or manic state. She can’t keep a job, makes big life changes all the time, irritable, sleeps very little, but she’s the life of the party.

I have BD1 (originally diagnosed BD2 until I had two severe manic episodes without psychosis). I spent a recent year off medication, w mild hypomanic episodes that were not life altering (unlike my previous episodes). I stayed in an underlying depressive state that dulled my ability to enjoy things 100%. But was hardly noticeable.
After taking a few mental illness educational classes I learned that episodes eat away gray matter in the brain and harm brain structure + function. So I restarted my meds. I feel good and treating the depression has helped my overall quality of life

I have several family members with bipolar disorder, as it is a highly heritable condition. I wanted to share what it looks like across the different people I know who don’t take their meds:

My two cousins have BD1. Neither takes meds and both experience psychosis. One was also recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. Both are very unwell in life.

My two aunts have BD2. Both unmedicated. One is in a chronic state of depression and has SI, smokes a lot of weed as a coping mechanism/escape. The other is in EMDR therapy, lives an extremely calm life, is happily married, and has been doing well with minimal episodes for the past decade. Her symptoms show most during breakups or major life hardships, which she has fortunately avoided for a while. When they hit, her depressive episodes last for months. she barely eats or leaves her room. They’re usually followed by hypomanic episodes where she sleeps poorly for days/weeks.

My bf’s nephew has BD1 and schizophrenia. Unmedicated. He experiences severe, destructive episodes. Recently, his episodes have decreased primarily because he has become a recluse who never leaves his parents house, avoiding external triggers.

My daughter’s aunt has BD1. Unmedicated. People think she is on drugs because she stays in a nearly constant hypomanic or manic state. She can’t keep a job, makes big life changes all the time, irritable, sleeps very little, but she’s the life of the party.

I have BD1 (originally diagnosed BD2 until I had two severe manic episodes without psychosis). I spent a recent year off medication, w mild hypomanic episodes that were not life altering (unlike my previous episodes). I stayed in an underlying depressive state that dulled my ability to enjoy things 100%. But was hardly noticeable.
After taking a few mental illness educational classes I learned that episodes eat away gray matter in the brain and harm brain structure + function. So I restarted my meds. I feel good and treating the depression has helped my overall quality of life

I have several family members with bipolar disorder, as it is a highly heritable condition. I wanted to share what it looks like across the different people I know who don’t take their meds:

My two cousins have BD1. Neither takes meds and both experience psychosis. One was also recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. Both are very unwell in life.

My two aunts have BD2. Both unmedicated. One is in a chronic state of depression and has SI, smokes a lot of weed as a coping mechanism/escape. The other is in EMDR therapy, lives an extremely calm life, is happily married, and has been doing well with minimal episodes for the past decade. Her symptoms show most during breakups or major life hardships, which she has fortunately avoided for a while. When they hit, her depressive episodes last for months. she barely eats or leaves her room. They’re usually followed by hypomanic episodes where she sleeps poorly for days/weeks.

My bf’s nephew has BD1 and schizophrenia. Unmedicated. He experiences severe, destructive episodes. Recently, his episodes have decreased primarily because he has become a recluse who never leaves his parents house, avoiding external triggers.

My daughter’s aunt has BD1. Unmedicated. People think she is on drugs because she stays in a nearly constant hypomanic or manic state. She can’t keep a job, makes big life changes all the time, irritable, sleeps very little, but she’s the life of the party.

I have BD1 (originally diagnosed BD2 until I had two severe manic episodes without psychosis). I spent a recent year off medication, w mild hypomanic episodes that were not life altering (unlike my previous episodes). I stayed in an underlying depressive state that dulled my ability to enjoy things 100%. But was hardly noticeable.
After taking a few mental illness educational classes I learned that episodes eat away gray matter in the brain and harm brain structure + function. So I restarted my meds. I feel good and treating the depression has helped my overall quality of life

TLDR: Need to switch from lamictal (lamotrigine) to another bipolar med w minimal side effects. Wanna see what everyone else is using / works for them.
•
•
Hi guys. When I was diagnosed in 2017 w bipolar I tried various medications for it that didn’t work for me. They either felt like they didn’t work at all or they made me feel like a zombie (looking @ you Latuda). Eventually in 2019 started lamictal and it changed my life. Amazing love it.

But i’ve been inconsistent with it throughout the years and I totally know that’s my fault but I turned a new leaf and I’m really really prioritizing my mental health now so I want to get consistent on my meds. But now I’m getting extremely itchy all over my body when I take it even at a low dosage and titrating really slowly up.

I know itchiness / rash when taking lamictal can be a symptom of the very dangerous Stevens-Johnson Syndrome that occurs by taking too high of a dosage, titrating up too quickly, going off it cold turkey, and taking it on and off inconsistently.

So because of this my psych wants to take me off and switch meds. I’m devastated. I feel like I went through so many and this one was the one that actually worked without horrible side effects and I still felt like myself / functioned properly.

My question is, what mood stabilizers do y’all take that work like that for you? I’d like to look into options before my next appt.

(Sidenote I’m diagnosed bipolar 1 after originally being BP2 because of a couple bad episodes. but I lean more bipolar 2 because my depressive episodes are usually more frequent / severe than my mania and I usually have hypo not full manic episodes)

TYIA!

Hi, a while back someone posted that they work at a girls youth shelter and was looking for donations.

If you’re that person or know of a place for homeless youth please lmk.

My teen daughter and I have a lot to donate and I can drop off! 🤍

Hi all. I live in SoCal. 2x1 apartment. 963 sqft. Carpeted. No pets. Teen daughter so no small children. Nonsmoking.
I wanted to ask what type of clean this would be considered, or how I should set it up. To be most cost effective.

My house will be clean in the sense of everything will be in its place. No tiding up or organizing needed.

The regular clean stuff I will do myself before they come:
Dishes
Vacuuming (living room + dining room + bedrooms)
Countertops and tables
Bathroom countertop
Bathroom toilet
Mirrors and glass table tops
Beds made
Laundry done
Floors swept
Stovetop

What I’m looking to hire a cleaner for:
Inside fridge
Windowsills
Blinds
Inside oven
Wipe down walls
Mopping (bathroom + small strip kitchen)

I know they’re the “deep clean” items but I wouldn’t need the “regular clean” items done that are usually included w the price of the deep.

So would I still need to hire for a deep clean? Or should/can I do ala carte for those things?
Also, should I pay hourly or per item or get a quote on those items as a whole?

If any cleaners have an idea of what they’d charge for that please share your price compared to your deep clean price w me so I can have an idea.

Hi all. I live in SoCal. 2x1 apartment. 963 sqft. Carpeted. No pets. Teen daughter so no small children. Nonsmoking.
I wanted to ask what type of clean this would be considered, or how I should set it up. To be most cost effective.

My house will be clean in the sense of everything will be in its place. No tiding up or organizing needed.

The regular clean stuff I will do myself before they come:

Dishes
Vacuuming (living room + dining room + bedrooms)
Countertops and tables
Bathroom countertop
Bathroom toilet
Mirrors and glass table tops
Beds made
Laundry done
Floors swept
Stovetop

What I’m looking to hire a cleaner for:
Inside fridge
Windowsills
Blinds
Inside oven
Wipe down walls
Mopping (bathroom + small strip kitchen)

I know they’re the “deep clean” items but I wouldn’t need the “regular clean” items done that are usually included w the price of the deep.

So would I still need to hire for a deep clean? Or should/can I do ala carte for those things?
Also, should I pay hourly or per item or get a quote on those items as a whole?

If any cleaners have an idea of what they’d charge for that please share your price compared to your deep clean price w me so I can have an idea.

I feel like I’ll be disliked for this but I’ll ask anyways..

For the last 6 years, I don’t eat or buy meat, or animal byproducts like real honey, dairy, eggs etc. don’t use animal products like leather, real fur etc. and don’t visit animal exploitation places like zoos, aquariums, swimming w dolphins etc. and I educate my family on how harmful animal art culture is to the environment plus a horrible animal exploitation and killing us.
So I feel like I’m pretty “vegan”

EXCEPT when I go to restaurants and their only meatless option is a cheese dish (like quesadillas). I’d rather not, but when it’s the only thing on the menu and I don’t wanna buy two or three sides to try to make a full meal. So I do the cheese dish.

Here are the things I do to combat it:

1. When making plans at a restaurant, I check the menu and make sure that there are vegan options or entrées that I can easily have them make vegan.
2. I check Yelp to see what vegans say about the place.
3. I opt for vegan restaurants if I’m part of choosing the restaurant. Or at the very least, I suggest it one others are making the reservations or it’s their dinner plans.

But sometimes I feel like it’s just too hard. Cuz:

1. Buying multiple sides to make an entrée gets expensive.
2. I am Hispanic so my family eats a lot of authentic hole in the wall Mexican restaurants, and those type of restaurants usually don’t have any vegan options at all. And if you ask them to just take out the meat, it’s still being cooked in animal oil, broth, and you’re basically eating nothing. (For example, I had Caldo de Pollo and asked them to take out the chicken, and I literally was just served a $20 bowl of chicken broth with maybe three small pieces of vegetable in it.)
3. They charge the same price for the entrée even if you take out the meat.
4. It’s not my dinner plans it’s a birthday dinner or something somebody else planned and/or is paying for so they chose the restaurant.
5. I do eat beforehand when I go to parties or barbecues or gatherings because I can still mingle and hang out and just not eat. But to go to a restaurant and not eat because there are no vegan options so I ate before hand it’s just awkward. Because the whole experience is eating so I’m kind of just sitting there watching everybody eat. It’s awkward for them and for myself
6. I like eating. I like eating at restaurants. It’s one of my favorite things to do. And I eat A LOT.

Ik many of y’all won’t agree, but that’s the reason I do that and that’s worked for me for all of these years and I’ll probably continue to do that.

So my issue is, I say I’m vegetarian because I know it’s not fair to call myself plant-based or vegan when I’m not 100%. But when I say I’m vegetarian, I constantly get served and offered dairy products and eggs and animal products. Then I have to literally one by one reject everything I’m being offered. Sometimes people specifically make meals for me when they know I’m coming, which is super thoughtful, but it ends up being vegetarian meals that have dairy and animal byproducts because I tell them I’m vegetarian or they know that about me, so it feels rude not to eat it, but I’d rather not.

So basically my thing is should I just freaking call myself vegan!?? I feel like the vegans will be mad but it’s like geez what to doooo?

Cuz w saying I’m vegetarian I keep having these problems and keep having to give these long-winded explanations on how I’m vegetarian but I don’t eat the products or dairy or eggs, etc.. but only sometimes at restaurants blah blah blah 🙄 and then I have to explain why I don’t for all the vegan reasons and it would just be so much easier to say I’m vegan.

*UPDATE* My daughter will not join the LDS church. I’m actively looking into alternatives. Ty all for the information, alternative recommendations and help in protecting my child. 🤍

—————————————————

Hi everyone,
I’m a non-member mother. My 13 yr old daughter is very interested in learning about God and religion. My goal is to let her join the LDS Church, get baptized, make friends, and participate in all the youth activities so she can benefit from a wholesome, innocent environment and positive peer influence as she enters high school. I’ll be attending the church/Sunday school w her every Sunday. But I am not getting baptized myself. And she will not attend any one-on-one meeting or interviews. (Ik she won’t get a temple recommendation and that’s fine)

The reason I’m doing this is because the LDS youth are the most wholesome I’ve seen so far compared to other religions. They seem to follow good ideals on their own outside of church / even when not under adult supervision. Like waiting til marriage for sex, being helpful in the community, being modest, staying away from drugs/ alcohol etc. Those are the type of influences I’d like for my teen daughter. It’s a lot easier to practice those things when your friends are too. I’ll obvi parent her at home too and teach these ideals but her surroundings matter greatly as well.

So my question is, how do you recommend I do this successfully? These are my main concerns I’d like to ensure:

1. Act as a buffer at home against high pressure perfectionism, blind obedience to male/church authority, anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, anti-feminism, or outdated racial views that might pop up in Sunday classes.
2. Make sure she keeps a critical mind, questions authority when appropriate, and stays mentally healthy.

(Sidenote: I know many people here have strong negative feelings toward Mormonism and reasons for leaving, which I completely respect. However, I’ve already decided to move forward with this approach. Please refrain from telling me not to do it at all and only tell me recommendations on how you have done/would do it. I’m a young single mother or a teenage daughter. I want the best peer influence possible for her. But if you MUST lol please at least give me an alternative church recommendation because she’s adamant about going to a church and participating in all of it, so I’d like her peers to be the best influence possible)

Thanks in advance!

Hi. I recently started going to the church after being recruited by missionaries. I like it and when they first suggested baptism after about three Bible study sessions, I was like sure. But now the more I’m learning about the church itself and the culture and the covenants and the importance of getting baptized when I’m fully ready to commit to everything, and I really have a true understanding of everything and believe, I don’t want to rush into getting baptized. At first, I just kind of took it as something you do when you start going to the church but now I realize it’s a lot more important than that so I don’t want to do it on a whim I really want to take my time to learn. So what if that takes me like a year or two or longer? Is that allowed? Will I keep being pressured by the missionaries to just get baptized already? Will it be frowned upon? I don’t wanna rush into it because of outside pressure. But I also want to be respectful of the church, and just know what is kind of expected. And like what’s the usual timeframe for people.
Thanks in advance!

I’ve recently started going to the church. I often hear phrases like “I know it’s the truth” “I know this is the true church of Jesus Christ” “I read the Book of Mormon and know it’s the truth”

What’s up with that? It just seems like a strange thing for so many people to say so frequently and to describe their religion. I feel like there’s like things they practice saying or teach them to say or something. Like why is the “truth” so heavy in their vocabulary. I’ve never heard that out of church before. I’m not judging. I’m genuinely curious.

I was diagnosed with BD in 2017. My main struggle throughout adulthood is that I can easily get hired and excel for the first few months, but then I crash. The excitement of a new job pushes me into hypomania, followed by severe anxiety, panic attacks, executive dysfunction, and mental breakdowns until I lose the job for eventually just no showing or not being able to complete tasks. I also deal with ADHD and severe anxiety/agoraphobia.
2 of my past psychs recommended I apply for disability, but I was too overwhelmed to follow through. I’m in a better place with treatment, but I still can’t keep a job w out crashing.
My current psych is very supportive and validates how disabling my symptoms are (she offered FMLA paperwork when I was recently threatened to be fired), but she hasn't explicitly brought up disability. I want to bring it up to her, but I’m scared she’ll think I’m exaggerating or lying or that my employment issues are because of my executive dysfunction from my ADHD, and anxiety so it isn't "enough" for a claim.

Anyone have similar experiences?
If so have you applied for or received disability for bipolar or ADHD/anxiety?
Were you the one who had to bring up applying first, or did your psych offer? How did that conversation go?
Thanks so much for any advice!

Recently listed this for someone asking, so thought I’d share what helps me manage my bp. I’d love to hear yalls management regiment! I’m always looking for better ways to cope / manage.

- Lamictal (lamotrigine) for bipolar
- vistaril (Hydroxyzine) for anxiety
- Ativan (lorazepam) for anxiety attacks

When in episodes (all of the above plus):

- antipsychotics for mania
- Wellbutrin for depression
- 1/2 Benadryl for sleep during mania

Non-medication:
- yoga at gym for depression (I go looking like a hobo and feeling terrible, but forcing myself to go and do it genuinely makes me feel better and has literally pulled me out of depressive episodes)

- cat for depression (companion makes me happy plus they’re super needy so you have to get up. Some people use dogs but they’re too high maintenance for me when in a dep episode)

- therapist / psych who do Telehealth (video) visits (for both episodes. Cuz I’m either too depressed to get out of bed. Or I’m manic and doing some random adventure. So I can just log on and not miss appts.)

Feeling overwhelmed / pressured

Hi all. My daughter and I recently started attending the church, my family recommended the LDS church.

We’ve been doing Bible study with the missionaries which we enjoy and we go to church and Sunday school every week. That’s all great. We participate in Sunday school, we speak with the members during and afterwards for a bit. We’ve been making life changes at home and in our everyday life. All great.

But it’s been very overwhelming that I notice in this church everyone applies a lot of pressure.

Everyone we interact with is very welcoming and that’s nice but they all also ask for our phone number. When I politely decline and tell them that we’ll just see them next time at church it is awkward and kind of just stare at us silently.

The missionaries have been giving out my phone number and I had to tell them multiple times, not to because I get anxiety with strangers contacting me.

We meet the missionaries at the church for Bible study, but people keep suggesting we do it at our house.

They send Bible verses all throughout the week.

We came on vacation for 2 weeks and the missionaries want to do zoom Bible studies. I told them we were busy as we’re visiting a lot of family and they’ve texted again asking when we are available.

Then we were texted the zoom link to watch the Sunday service live. I told them we’re going to church with my grandmother this Sunday so no need to tune into the zoom video. They still said we can watch the zoom meeting later because it’ll be recorded.

At the last Bible study they asked us to read the Bible every day and commit to that.

The church we go to is 15 mins from our house but there’s a church closer. I prefer the one we go to now, but literally every single time we have went to the church or Bible study different people have strongly recommended we go to our local church. I’ve explained to them over and over again that we prefer this one and we’ve already tried our local church, but they will not let it go.

They then invited members of our closer church to our last Bible study meeting and those church members aggressively tried to recruit us to their church and literally said it was better than the one we’re going to now which I just felt like was weird because it’s all LDS.

There is only one other Hispanic person at our ward besides us. She introduced herself and was sweet. We chatted a few times. Seems great. But now on multiple occasions I’ve been encouraged to talk to her, I kinda feel like I’m being pushed onto her. Which I don’t get why besides us both being Hispanic? As we have no other similarities at all. She’s an older single Hispanic woman, who loves dogs, is a widow and has had a lot of hardship in certain parts of her life. I’m a young(ish) Hispanic single mother with a teen daughter, I don’t like animals at all and don’t relate or have experienced any of her hardships. So she’s just not someone personally I’d befriend.

I really love the church and so does my daughter but it just feels soooo overwhelming how much pressure everyone applies. I feel like we must be completely embodied into the church and community 100% of the time and way to be accepted.

And honestly, as much as I love the church it is causing me to consider leaving the LDS church and looking for other type of Christian churches.

Is there a way to calm it down? Because I feel like we’ve politely declined a lot of it and given a lot of explanations to people that I don’t necessarily feel like we owe explanations to, but still it continues.

Or is this just what comes with the church and if you’re not 100% completely engulfed in it, you’re out

Hi all. My daughter and I recently started attending the church, my family recommended the LDS church.

We’ve been doing Bible study with the missionaries which we enjoy and we go to church and Sunday school every week. That’s all great. We participate in Sunday school, we speak with the members during and afterwards for a bit. We’ve been making life changes at home and in our everyday life. All great.

But it’s been very overwhelming that I notice in this church everyone applies a lot of pressure.

Everyone we interact with is very welcoming and that’s nice but they all also ask for our phone number. When I politely decline and tell them that we’ll just see them next time at church it is awkward and kind of just stare at us silently.

The missionaries have been giving out my phone number and I had to tell them multiple times, not to because I get anxiety with strangers contacting me.

We meet the missionaries at the church for Bible study, but people keep suggesting we do it at our house.

They send Bible verses all throughout the week.

We came on vacation for 2 weeks and the missionaries want to do zoom Bible studies. I told them we were busy as we’re visiting a lot of family and they’ve texted again asking when we are available.

Then we were texted the zoom link to watch the Sunday service live. I told them we’re going to church with my grandmother this Sunday so no need to tune into the zoom video. They still said we can watch the zoom meeting later because it’ll be recorded.

At the last Bible study they asked us to read the Bible every day and commit to that.

The church we go to is 15 mins from our house but there’s a church closer. I prefer the one we go to now, but literally every single time we have went to the church or Bible study different people have strongly recommended we go to our local church. I’ve explained to them over and over again that we prefer this one and we’ve already tried our local church, but they will not let it go.

They then invited members of our closer church to our last Bible study meeting and those church members aggressively tried to recruit us to their church and literally said it was better than the one we’re going to now which I just felt like was weird because it’s all LDS.

There is only one other Hispanic person at our ward besides us. She introduced herself and was sweet. We chatted a few times. Seems great. But now on multiple occasions I’ve been encouraged to talk to her, I kinda feel like I’m being pushed onto her. Which I don’t get why besides us both being Hispanic? As we have no other similarities at all. She’s an older single Hispanic woman, who loves dogs, is a widow and has had a lot of hardship in certain parts of her life. I’m a young(ish) Hispanic single mother with a teen daughter, I don’t like animals at all and don’t relate or have experienced any of her hardships. So she’s just not someone personally I’d befriend.

I really love the church and so does my daughter but it just feels soooo overwhelming how much pressure everyone applies. I feel like we must be completely embodied into the church and community 100% of the time and way to be accepted.

And honestly, as much as I love the church it is causing me to consider leaving the LDS church and looking for other type of Christian churches.

Is there a way to calm it down? Because I feel like we’ve politely declined a lot of it and given a lot of explanations to people that I don’t necessarily feel like we owe explanations to, but still it continues.

Or is this just what comes with the church and if you’re not 100% completely engulfed in it, you’re out

Just kinda a rant about my LDR since we broke up.

Him and I met when I lived in his city. We were social media friends for years and the last year before we got together we talked frequently, platonically. He was visiting LA (where I live) one weekend and we hung out. The weekend was amazing, sparks flew, we hit it off. Started “dating” aka talking otp everyday romantically, after.

After a couple weeks he told me he loved me. I was super honest with him and told him I don’t think that could be the case as we have not been together that long, we’ve only hung out romantically that ones and this is all pretty new. I said infatuation yes probably but I don’t necessarily think it’s love yet. He insisted. I told him I couldn’t say it back because although I do like him a lot and I feel infatuated as well. I know it is not love. He said he respected it, but as we continued the relationship the next few weeks, it would come up when he was upset. He would express how hard it is for him to tell me he loves me when I don’t say it back. I said he didn’t have to say it anymore if he felt that way, but he insisted on continuing to say it so I was kinda like????

Against my better judgment, I told him I loved him to satisfy him and keep things good between us. I knew it wasn’t love yet, mind you had only been together at this point maybe a month? And we had still only seen each other that first weekend. But I thought it was fine since I did really really like him and I knew eventually it would turn into love.

As the relationship went on the next couple months, we saw each other once a month (so about five times in total) and he became increasingly jealous/paranoid. Even though we literally slept on the phone every single night and spoke all throughout the day together. So eventually, I told him that he needs to be alone and work on himself to try to get past the jealousy so we can have a more healthy relationship. I told him that I would be in his town in a month and a half and maybe we can get lunch and see how things are going. If he feels better and feels like we can have a healthier relationship I’m definitely open to getting back together.

He said unless I agreed not to date, sleep with, speak to, text or see any other man during that time then he did not want to revisit things when I am in town. I didn’t wanna be with anybody else, but I felt like him making these rules while we are broken up was not healthy, and it’s the exact reason why we’re breaking up to begin with. So I told him I didn’t agree with that and that he should just focus on himself during that time not about what I’m going to be doing. He disagreed and said if that’s the case, he doesn’t want to be together at all or even consider getting back together later. I told him I felt he was acting/talking out of emotion and maybe we should give it a day to cool down and discuss things because it’s not like we were breaking up because we didn’t like each other. We were breaking up so that he can work on himself but I did want to be w him. He said no, he’s not talking out of emotion. If I won’t agree to his rules, he is completely done with me. I said I respect it and we haven’t spoken since.

I’m annoyed with this only because I feel like he was love bombing me and so insistent on telling me how he was so in love with me and he’s never been in love with anybody else before and he now knows everything he felt before I wasn’t love with other people because it didn’t feel the same as it did with me. But if that was the case, it wouldn’t have been so easy for him to be done for good with us. Or let us break up for good. It seems silly to me that he can say he loved me and then turn around and break up and go no contact cold turkey one day. Especially when we were getting along great and everything was really good between us and I never did anything wrong or bad to him.

Anyways I’m just posting this to rant lol I guess I just wanted to tell someone I told ya so, since I can’t to him lol

TLDR: my LDR bf told me he loved me within a couple weeks of getting together. I told him it’s not love it’s infatuation. Then we broke up on amicable terms and he’s ok with never talking to me again. I don’t think that’s love.