u/rookcanisite

Basically the title. I made a Sim who's female, but I technically gave her the male body so she'd have a flat chest (in the story I made for her, shes a breast cancer survivor). But she uses she/her and can still carry kids. Is the game going to read her as male or female? Im mostly asking for the sake of finding her a husband. Am I going to have to find a gay male Sim? Or just edit a pre-existing straight Sim's sexuality to include her? Or luck out with a bi Sim

EDIT: I chose the male gender symbol because I didnt know a masculine frame with a female symbol also removes breasts. Her frame is set to feminine, her pronouns are set to she/her, she can get pregnant, and she uses the toilet sitting down. She cant breastfeed though because no breasts. Im pretty sure the game is going to sort her as male when it comes to attraction, but she's ended up with Thiago Abrantes (rip Cordelia 💔) so it doesnt matter anyway lol.

I might still change her so she's read as female by the attraction settings, but changing that randomizes her outfits. And changing her frame to masculine means I have to redo her entire appearance. So its just not worth it right now. But its good information for the future if I ever want to make another character like her again

So I dont have super thin eyebrows, but they could definitely be thicker. I've been dyeing them with beard dye and that helps a decent amount, but I'd prefer if they were just thicker.

I have two cats so topical minoxidil is out of the question. They love being in my face and honestly I love rubbing my face on them. Oral minoxidil isn't technically out of the question but I'd prefer to not have another prescription and I don't like taking meds that aren't "necessary" (aesthetic reasons doesn't equal necessary for me since this isnt super distressing or anything)

Is there something else I can do? I know the purpose of minoxidil is to increase bloodflow to areas, promoting more hair growth. I have a spray I use on my hair that has caffeine for that exact reason. Do you think that'd work on eyebrows? Or that massaging them the way people do scalp massages might help? Sorry if this is a dumb or uninformed question

I guess its not a "bad" thing or necessarily wrong, its just a huge red flag to me because of the fitness community. Or almost like a dogwhistle in a way? I immediately think whoever the OP is has to be a cis man trolling or invading transmascs spaces for some reason or something. Even if the post otherwise seems legitimate.

Again, calling T "test" isnt necessarily wrong, inaccurate, or "bad," but its just been throwing me off so much. The majority of people still seem to be calling it T, but when did we start calling it test? Why am I seeing it so much suddenly especially from younger trans people?

EDIT: Dogwhistle for alt right spaces, I mean. Since a lot of looksmaxxers and hardcore toxic gymbros tend to lean that way

So Ive been on and off T a few times. Stopped twice, restarting now a third time (🫩 its as tiring as it sounds). Both times I stopped, I had three primary reasons:

1. Uncontrollable, fast hairloss (like within a few months losing 1/3rd of the hair on my head, which only got worse with time)

2. Such a high libido it was causing me mental and emotional distress

3. Vaginal atrophy and other subsequent issues

The second time I started T, I started finasteride at the same time to hopefully save my hair. Which halted basically any changes I'd see from T. Minus like... some muscle growth and a small bit of body fat redistribution. Basically, being on T was just about pointless. So Im not using finasteride this time

I know Im too vain when it comes to my hair and Im working on that, but I have a plan on how to approach these three problems now.

1. Pumpkin seed oil. Its a natural dht blocker, though I doubt as powerful as finasteride or dutasteride. Oiling my scalp with that a few times a week along with just taking better care of my hair (no more Walmart permanant black box dye or harsh brushing) should hopefully help. It would be localized to my scalp so it shouldnt affect anything else

2. Working out whenever my libido is bothersome. I want to workout and gain muscle anyway, but I always have a hard time getting myself moving. I think redirecting that unwanted energy into exercise (which also helps as a distraction) would work well to combat distressingly high libido.

3. Starting an estrogen cream or suppository alongside T. It would localized, so it wont affect T levels. I know most doctors dont tend to give out medication for preventative measures, but given how quickly atrophy affected me both times and how much it interfered with my life (constant UTIs, constant unbalanced PH, just constant pain, infections, and issues), my doctor is willing to consider (we're going to talk about it more tomorrow at my appointment). At the very least, I'd be using other off-the-shelf PH-balanced "moisturizers" down there. They won't target the root cause but should hopefully help lessen symptoms

There was also other lesser things that stressed me a bt on T like dry but oily skin, hair getting oily fast, etc., but that's basic stuff I can handle. I had to deal with it pre-T anyway and have to do it right now too, so. Not much changing there other than it might be a little worse for awhile or I might need to swap some products.

People seem to have good results with pumpkin seed oil, though I know I'll still lose some hair. Just hopefully less. If it doesnt work, then 🤷 I cant keep stopping T because of my hair. I know Im vain, but thats *too* vain. I need to fix that.

I dont know if working out will help distract me from libido but its definitely worth a shot, I think. Right now I only "get off" like once every 3 weeks and I am A-okay with that. Obviously I know that the number of times per month and overall frequency will still increase despite distracting myself and focusing energy elsewhere, but I can deal with a slight or even moderate increase in libido. Just not the life-interfering libido I had before (I was doing shit I am NOT proud of). Though if anyone has any tips for things to help combat that, or other types of distractions, etc., I'm all ears.

Does this seem like a good gameplan? I really want to make T work. I can work on my obsession with my hair but the libido and atrophy can be real problems. Does this seem like it'll work? Or at least help? Does anyone have other recommendations or ideas that might help these problems?

Posting this here because I know I'll probably get flamed and I think I need the honest opinions

Basically Ive identified as trans for ten years. Total of 5 years on T and I'm post-top surgery. I've called myself a binary trans man the entire time. But I realized recently I never actually put any thought into being trans. I learned about trans men as a pre-teen and went "I cant relate to other girls/femininity, and I like being masculine, so I think I'd be happier as a trans man" and that was it. No further thought and just barreled forward with it for years. I decided to put some thought into it recently and now Im starting to wonder if Im trans at all. So I've made a list of reasons I think Im not and reasons I think I am

Before the list, I do want to say that if you get upset by people calling themselves binary trans men while also having a decidely nonbinary, feminine, gnc, or otherwise non-trans experience, this post probably isnt for you. And thats fine, no hard feelings. But just a heads up

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Reasons I think Im trans:

1. I've always been uncomfortable with female terms. She/her, ma'am, lady, girl, sister, etc. They make me feel physically ill. Always have and probably always will

2. I hated my chest and it caused me so much distress before top surgery. To the point I avoided leaving the house altogether whether I was binding or not

3. Being on T never gave me any dysphoria. If I wasnt trans, the T changes should've upset me, but they didnt

4. Im incredibly uncomfortable in women's clothing. Sometimes I'll see something I think is pretty in a store and try it on, and then I'll feel ill seeing myself look like a woman and I'll ruin my whole day

5. He/him and sir have always felt natural to me. My stomach doesnt flip and my heart doesnt sink when people refer to me like that

6. If clothes dont fit me like they do cis men, I tend to have a breakdown pretty quickly

7. My small stature, especially my small shoulders, causes so much dysphoria. I've been working out to try to gain muscle there and broaded them, but its a slow process and I'm losing patience a bit more every day

8. I want my voice to be deeper and to be indistinguishable from a cis man's

9. I want sharper and longer features so I can look more like a cis man despite already having a fairly masculine face naturally

10. While my shoulders may be small still, I love the angularity and the muscles I've built in my arms because I think it makes me look more like a man. Especially when mixed with my flat chest

11. I love the extra body hair growth I got from T, particularly my stomach, chest, and thighs. I actually wish I got more

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Reasons I think Im not trans:

1. When I imagine my ideal life, Im a cis woman, not a cis man. And in this ideal life, I like looking like a woman and being one. I also like being a wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter. But I cant tell if I just think "the grass is greener on the other side" since I actually dislike all that irl

2. I used to cry in dresses because I wasnt as pretty or curvy as the other girls, not because the dresses were feminine or made me look like a girl

3. Sometimes I mildly regret top surgery. The feeling never lasts long and the surgery lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. No longer having to deal with daily stress and breakdowns is nice. But sometimes I feel mangled or butchered or like I made a mistake despite my objectively good results and typically being happy with my chest. But then again, its only been a year since surgery, so maybe I just havent mentally adjusted yet

4. I've always wanted to carry my own kids and breastfeed. Not being able to breastfeed anymore has been a bit of a source of distress (this one REALLY makes me wonder if Im actually trans. Goes against everything I've seen from other trans men)

5. I've been off T for a few months (medical and financial reasons) and I feel fine. Most other trans men are really upset when they lose access to T and feel awful physically, mentally, and emotionally, but I dont mind at all. The drop in libido is relieving, my hair is thicker again, and Im able to put on weight easier (good for bulking, but harder to gain muscle without T so 🤷). I'm actually alot less stressed not having to worry over my T anymore, and not getting my blood drawn every 3 months is nice

6. I'll see beautiful women and just have so much envy towards them. I wondered for a minute if I was actually just attracted to women, but Im not. Its straight up envy. Usually towards body type (pear shape but with upper body muscle), a short and masculine haircut but they still look like a woman, men's clothes or a very masculine style on someone that otherwise looks like a woman, or unnatural colored hair that looks like it belongs on them and isnt awkward

7. If I see a masc or androgynous woman with a boyfriend I'll just end up seething quietly for an hour out of jealousy. God forbid I see a pregnant woman or a woman with a newborn (let alone a masc or androgynous pregnant woman/woman with a newborn)

8. I cringe when being called a man or a son (though I also dislike woman and daughter, so maybe this doesnt mean anything). I can't tell or not if this is because I dont tend to pass as a man so it feels like people are pitying me or lying to make me feel better

9. I've never had bottom dysphoria. Just point blank period, never had it. And speaking of period, I've never minded that either. I actually seem to hate it less than a lot of cis women do. I've also never had any dysphoria around my reproductive system or birth control

---

I could probably keep going on with different points but that seems like the primary big stuff. I've had some people tell me Im probably very nonbinary, but I dont really care for that label. It actually makes me cringe a bit, and I dont like being called they/them either or being seen as a "third gender."

Just give me your honest thoughts and opinions please. I know in the end only I can know what I am, but sometimes other people's thoughts can help decipher what's going on, or give me a new angle to look at or approach things from

Normally I have a very specific type of social anxiety that's triggered by certain things. And so long as Im out of the situation, Im fine. I calm down quickly. My anxiety usually presents as excessive sweating and in bad cases, some twitching I cant control. Rarely do I have my heart race or the other "typical" anxiety symptoms. I may even feel calm in the moment and then notice afterwards I'm sweating like a waterfall and shaking.

But today at work, I saw a coworker I really do not like (had to report him to HR in the past) and now I haven't been able to get rid of this feeling. I knew he'd be at work today and we never have to interact or even be near eachother (its a big store), so its never been a problem. But now I keep getting these waves of adrenline that make me feel physically ill. Like my stomach flips into my chest and I get dizzy. And its been happening for 2 hours now despite not seeing him again. I just cant shake it. I want to say its just anxiety but its so different from how I normally experience it. It wasnt a social situation that triggered it. I didnt even talk to anyone and he wasn't anywhere near me. I've never had anxiety make me feel ill before or temporarily disable me like this. I had to go on break because I just could not get it to stop and each time it happens I slow way down. And it's a fast-paced job so I cant be slowly down randomly.

Is this just anxiety? And if so, why would what triggers it and how it presents suddenly change?

Posting this here instead of ftmmen or ftmventing like I normally do for stuff because I know Im going to get flamed there. Hopefully not here. I also did post this to the transmasc subreddit but Ive added more to this version

Anyway, I've been transitioning socially for nearly a decade. 5 years on T, got top surgery, been legally a man for years, had my name changed, the whole nine yards. But Im not so sure I was right?

When I imagine my ideal future and my ideal life, I'm not necessarily a man. Sometimes I am, but even then I look more androgynous and take on the stereotypical "feminine" roles. I know gender roles dont dictate gender, but mixed with some other things, I think it's worth noting.

Usually I imagine myself as a beautiful woman. Long curly hair (my hair naturally curls but its straight right now from dye damage), breasts again, curvier than I ever was pre-transition. Having a baby, breastfeeding (I'm actually VERY upset I cant do this now), being a mother, being a girlfriend and a wife. Those kind of things. I thought for a moment that maybe I was just attracted to women, but no. It's just straight up envy. I want to be those women so bad.

T didnt do much for me, but I hate my voice. A lot. I wish it was either like a cis man's (deeper) or a cis woman's (higher). I hate this middle ground Im in. Though my voice is still read as male 100%. Most extra body hair went away after I stopped T (been a few months now) and I dont mind at all though I didnt necessarily hate the hair either. I kept my little trail on my stomach so Im content. Im also glad my period is back because I was worried I'd be infertile or sterile (I know thats very rare to happen on T, but I still worried). Im thin as hell so I've never had much fat redistribution, but Im still getting more in my thighs and ass (none in my hips because I have hip dips) and I like it way better than the chicken legs I had before.

I dont care for a lot of "feminine" things like makeup or female clothing. But I do love stuff like haircare and skincare. But again, none of that dictates gender. I've also never had any bottom dysphoria whatsoever.

I also remember being a young teen and crying in the mirror because I wasnt as pretty as the other girls. I didnt have the curves or the long hair and I didnt look good in fitted dresses or fitted pants. I cancelled on so many school dances because of it. I was the "freakshow" at school and hated it. The girl who was too weird, too masculine, didnt fit in right, didnt understand the social subtleties of being a women and how women were expected to behave. Transitioning didnt fix me being the weird outcast, but at least no one expected me to conform anymore, so it was a bit easier.

Whenever someone calls me a man, I cringe a bit inside. But I still prefer he/him, sir, etc. and I hate she/her, ma'am, etc. I know he/him lesbians and transmasc lesbians exist, but can he/him straight women exist? Or transmasc straight women? I dont feel like I'd just be a masculine cis woman. Cis women dont tend to use male pronouns and terms, but transmascs by definition dont have to be men. So can I be both?

Some people said maybe I could be nonbinary, but that doesnt feel right. Maybe by technical definition, I would land there. But its not what I personally feel is right. That makes me cringe like being called a man does. Someone also said that what I want to be vs what I am isnt always going to align or be compatible. This person was trans, but that also seems like an argument in favor of detransitioning. I cant change that Im female. I dont even want to. But just because I wanted once to be a man doesnt mean I am one or can fully become one, yknow?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Posting this here instead of ftmmen or ftmventing because I know Im going to get flamed there. Hopefully not here

But I've been transitioning socially for nearly a decade. 5 years on T, got top surgery, been legally a man for years, had my name changed, the whole nine yards. But Im not so sure I was right?

When I imagine my ideal future and my ideal life, I'm not necessarily a man. Sometimes I am, but even then I look more androgynous and take on the stereotypical "feminine" roles. I know gender roles dont dictate gender, but mixed with some other things, I think it's worth noting.

Usually I imagine myself as a beautiful woman. Long curly hair, breasts again, curvier than I ever was pre-transition. Having a baby, breastfeeding (I'm actually VERY upset I cant do this now), being a mother, being a girlfriend and a wife. Those kind of things. I thought for a moment maybe I was attracted to women, but no. It's just straight up envy. I want to be those women so bad.

T didnt do much for me, but I hate my voice. A lot. I wish it was either like a cis man's (deeper) or a cis woman's (higher). I hate this middle ground Im in. Though my voice is still read male 100%. Most extra body hair went away after I stopped T (been a few months now) and I dont mind at all. I kept my little trail on my stomach so Im content. Im also glad my period is back because I worried I'd be infertile or sterile (I know thats very rare to happen on T, but I still worried). Im thin as hell so I've never had much fat redistribution, but Im still getting more in my thighs and ass (none in my hips because I have hip dips) and I like it way better than the chicken legs I had before.

So like... was I wrong?? Whenever someone calls me a man, I cringe a bit inside. But I prefer he/him, sir, etc. and I hate she/her, ma'am, etc. I know he/him lesbians and transmasc lesbians exist, but can he/him straight women exist??? Or transmasc straight women??? I dont feel like I'd just be a masculine cis woman. It does feel trans somehow. Maybe because I prefer masculine terms and pronouns?

Posting this here instead of ftmmen or ftmventing because I know Im going to get flamed there. Hopefully not here

But I've been transitioning socially for nearly a decade. 5 years on T, got top surgery, been legally a man for years, had my name changed, the whole nine yards. But Im not so sure I was right?

When I imagine my ideal future and my ideal life, I'm not necessarily a man. Sometimes I am, but even then I look more androgynous and take on the stereotypical "feminine" roles. I know gender roles dont dictate gender, but mixed with some other things, I think it's worth noting.

Usually I imagine myself as a beautiful woman. Long curly hair, breasts again, curvier than I ever was pre-transition. Having a baby, breastfeeding (I'm actually VERY upset I cant do this now), being a mother, being a girlfriend and a wife. Those kind of things. I thought for a moment maybe I was attracted to women, but no. It's just straight up envy. I want to be those women so bad.

T didnt do much for me, but I hate my voice. A lot. I wish it was either like a cis man's (deeper) or a cis woman's (higher). I hate this middle ground Im in. Though my voice is still read male 100%. Most extra body hair went away after I stopped T (been a few months now) and I dont mind at all. I kept my little trail on my stomach so Im content. Im also glad my period is back because I worried I'd be infertile or sterile (I know thats very rare to happen on T, but I still worried). Im thin as hell so I've never had much fat redistribution, but Im still getting more in my thighs and ass (none in my hips because I have hip dips) and I like it way better than the chicken legs I had before.

So like... was I wrong?? Whenever someone calls me a man, I cringe a bit inside. But I prefer he/him, sir, etc. and I hate she/her, ma'am, etc. I know he/him lesbians and transmasc lesbians exist, but can he/him straight women exist??? Or transmasc straight women??? I dont feel like I'd just be a masculine cis woman. It does feel trans somehow. Maybe because I prefer masculine terms and pronouns?

I understand the sentiment and that it's to convey determination, perseverance, refusal to submit and change oneself, etc. It's a good sentiment. But I'm tired. I'm so very tired and I just want to disappear into the crowd and the masses, not have a target painted on my back socially, legally, medically. And I definitely don't want to die. It's the first time in my life I can actually say that without lying through my teeth to doctors, my parents, teachers, and whoever else. I have plans and hopes for my life that I can still accomplish as a woman. My gender doesn't matter to them. And I want those things more than I want to die or suffer for a cause. And I think that's selfish. But I also think demanding every trans person have a hand in this fight is selfish too. I don't have the energy for this anymore. It's been ten years and everything has only gotten worse. I'm tired. I just want safety, stability, security. My family, my partner, my kids. "American dream" and all that. If I have to hide out for years to get it, then I just might.

But my father talks about an "extinction burst." He says that's the reason why things are getting so much worse before they get better. That it happened with Bush and the Republican party, and now Trump is leading them directly into another. That Republicans are noticing times are changing and they're losing support for their ideals, so they push harder, they yell louder, they fight more. "The last gasps of the dying beast" he keeps saying.

I hope he's right. He's been saying this for years and now I'm starting to see other people talk about it. And it seems likely. It gives me some hope that this really is temporary and things are going to get better soon. That thought is the only thing keeping me from detransitioning right now. But if things get any worse, I might just cave. I know that's exactly what Republicans want (or for me to just off myself) but I'm tired.

But at the same time, I have a legal and medical trail of my transition. Changing my name, gender, and all my documents again would be such a pain in the ass. Not to mention removing stuff from my medical file (like the gender dysphoria diagnosis, the reason I had top surgery, why I was on T). And then if things get better and I can retransition, then I have to do it all again. I dont know if I can even change my name or gender that many times.

My father says to just lay low and keep my head down for now. But fear and paranoia have kind of been my entire life. I'm not sure how I'm just supposed to ignore it. But I think I can hopefully outlast the Trump presidency (or whoever succeeds him, since I doubt he'll live long enough to see it through and I cant imagine Republicans accepting JD Vance). But if things dont at least start getting better once he's gone, like within that first year, I'm throwing in the towel. I'm tired. I know a lot of trans people absolutely can not handle detransitioning and that the dysphoria would be way too terrible, that it would literally be death before detransition for them. But I think I could manage. At least for a little while. And honestly that's no point of pride. It makes me feel weaker than the people that refuse to submit. But its what I've got, so

So I originally got double incision with nipple grafts. And the entire thing looks great. Nipple placement is good, no scar stretching around the nipples, no pain or anything. Inarguably great results. It's been over a year since surgery. But for a few months I've had this background tthought of I might like my chest better without nipples. Given that it's just a background thought, I hadnt actually given it much conscious thought. But its persistent. So now I'm wondering if looking into it more could be worth it.

I had decided on nipple grafts because I wanted to look as cis-passing as possible. But I have these long scars on my chest anyway and I dont take my shirt off infront of anyone. Ever. So what was even the point if no one is seeing it? Cis-passing seems impossible for me nowadays and if I'm not taking my shirt off anyway, why stick with something I don't really care for?

So has anyone gotten their nipples removed after their initial surgery? And if so, what was that like? And how much did that cost? My insurance doesn't cover anything trans related anymore so I'm kind of fucked in that department. But honestly I doubt they would've covered it anyway. Nipple removal seems very very specific and I'm sure they would've said it's cosmetic.

I know you cant just stop being trans but let me explain

I was able to be on T for 4 years total (non-consecutively) and get top surgery. T didnt really do much for me except lower my voice and give me a bit of extra body hair. And just a little bit of muscle. Barely any bottom growth, I'm whip-thin so really no fat redistribution. Did not get anything else. I'm sure my time on T being spliced by a year off did not help, and only 4 years isn't a whole lot anyway. And now Im off permanently. I'm physically unable to take it without endangering my health (hence the year off, I was trying to find a way to go back on T safely, then tried T again when I thought I'd found it, but it didn't work).

I don't really pass. My voice does, but I have the "T voice" so all queer people and some cishet people clock me. Since my name is very traditionally masc and all my legal documents say male/my new name, no coworkers misgender me. But all I ever get outside of coworkers and family is she/her, ma'am, etc. And I've realized lately I just do not have the emotional bandwidth to care anymore. Customers say "ma'am" and I just hit them with "how can I help you?" Some correct themselves, some don't, some look at me like I just kidnapped their firstborn child.

And even though coworkers call me by my proper name and he/him, it's only because they don't know me by anything else. I have this straight guy with a girlfriend flirting with me. He's cheated on her twice, and I think I'm the target for the third time. Won't accept, obviously. But just like the last straight guy into me, he keeps making jokes about my height and how small I am and he says it with such affection. He'd clearly say I'm "cute" if that wouldn't get him in trouble at work. I'm 5'2", like I said whip-thin, not broad at all. It's very clear to everyone that I'm trans. Especially because there's another trans guy at work who's open about it and looks a lot like me. Discouraging, given he's only 1yr on T and pre-op. But good for him for the fast progress I guess.

But like I said, I just do not have the emotional bandwidth anymore. Dating as trans is a nightmare. Straight men keep falling for me, and honestly I keep falling for straight men. At this point I've just let my hair grow out because no one near me knows how to cut curly hair and they just butcher it every time (I don't know how to cut it either and also butchered it last time). Can't shave my head because my hairline is pretty feminine. I can only afford to buy cheap clothes from Walmart or thrift, but all men's clothes are either too big, sport-related, or end up making me look tiny as fuck in the shoulders even in the rare case they fit. So I end up in the women's section anyway (how do some women's shirts have more structure and broadness in the shoulders then men's shirts??)

I was never able to replicate the way cis men are. Maybe I fucked myself over by planning on being stealth and trying to be some macho cis dude. Not toxically masculine (tried that many years ago pre-T and wanted to die because of how confining that is), but still very stereotypically masculine.

I just can't do it anymore. I can't take correcting people. I cant take people clocking me as trans or being outed because that feels so vulnerable. I can't take how hard dating is. I hate having the stereotypical trans masc/trans man voice. I'm still trying to pack on muscle but without T, it's so slow-going. And I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I think I've just genuinely lost hope and do not have the capacity to care anymore. I don't correct anyone, I wear what fits and what I can afford, and Im kind of starting to wonder if it'd be worth it to change my name again. Probably not legally because that's a huge hassle and I do still like my name. But changing it to a neutral nickname or something so people can assume I'm just a tomboy or a bit of an androgynous woman instead of trans. I guess basically detransitioning without full committal.

I know "death before detransition" and all but I dont want to die and my current lack of care for gender, gender expectations, gender roles, etc., makes me think I can possibly be fine with just being androgyne or something. And letting people refer to me however they please. I just give up, man. I can't keep doing this. I'm going to drive myself batshit insane again.