u/rosadonnaslayz

Kind of long but I'm trying my best to provide all relevant details without letting my ADHD ramble on lol

I'm (37f) looking for help putting into words what I'm feeling.

Here's some context: My bf (37m) of 9.5 months is my soft dom and I'm his sweet sub. I really enjoy this dynamic because it's an escape from the demands and responsibilities of my life as a single mom who works full time and grew up being one of the oldest siblings of 8 (iykyk). He is aware of my boundaries and that I'm mainly only submissive in the bedroom but I'm open to being submissive in normal day to day on a case by case depending on what it is he wants, how he tells me and where we are / who is around us. I thought he understood this because I've had to tell him once before and he seemed to take heed to my boundaries immediately. But the issue has come up again, and I am starting to feel slighted.

Recently, I had lost my job and though I did find another, it wasn't in time to avoid eviction (it's like that for a lot of people in my area rn). He reluctantly offered to let me stay with him for a couple months or so until I save for an apartment.

Situation: We were discussing the plans for putting my stuff in storage and his place. I was stressed on having to do everything after a full day of work and trying to finish with enough time to turn the rental truck in and leaving the storage facility before closing time to avoid extra fees. He was being optimistic and I normally can be a procrastinating optimist when it comes to time. That normally causes me to always be late. I knew that wasn't an option with the moving because the writ of possession was scheduled for the next day while I'm working and my apartment complex is known for being over-the-top disrespectful when removing the leasee's property.

All this to say, I was stressed but focused and deligating tasks with him and my BFF (while keeping gratitude in mind). I was also complaining in general because my abdominal hernia got way worse when I tried moving some stuff on my own over the weekend. My bf seemed to be kind of an adversary all day and insisting I be more positive. He eventually tells me he is going to get it done in time and to trust him. I explain that it's not about trusting him, it's about the little amount of time we have on top of the time it takes to move the amount of stuff my kids and I have. He re-asserts his previous trust statement and adds "just do what I tell you". It was hot but I recognized it as a possible confusion to my boundaries if I were to not mention the yellow flag of that. So, I reminded him of said boundaries.

After we finished moving everything, he says he needs to talk to me. We sit and he explains he thinks I misunderstood him. He explains what he really meant was that he will take the lead on coordinating since I can't do much due to my hernia. I let him know that even if that were the case, him telling me to do what he says was a great opportunity for me to reestablish boundaries especially since we'll be temporarily cohabitating, that in my past relationships it seems easy for men to forget my boundaries if I don't speak up to remind them and if I misunderstood his clear and plain text, we should work on communicating more accurately to our intentions. He didn't really respond to that, but then starts to vent about his mom declining to pick him up from the airport when he's expecting to visit his family states away later this month and how he has no one to help him, how he helps everyone but no one does anything for him. I felt pretty offended but I didn't wanna make his valid vent about me. He does help a lot and I don't but only because he is way better off than I am after he's been in the air force for 20 years almost.

We were tired and decided to stop there and go to bed. As I was laying there, I wondered if he was possibly weaponizing his feelings of having no one to help as a way to deter from the original topic after I had doubled down.

I wanna bring this up to him but I wanna avoid making him feel super called out or attacked because I wanna get to the other side of this closer. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I saw a post on Instagram comparing Rick from The mummy to Gomez from The Addams family in regards to how they treat their woman. More specifically, the ways they confirm their love in behavior and action.

Gomez is the super verbally and physically affectionate man that puts his woman on a pedestal and would say things like "Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way—what bliss." While Rick will be difficult and challenging but very protective.

I started to wonder which one is better and then realized that I have only experienced each side of this coin once. If you've dated both, which did you prefer and why? If you've only dated one or the other, why do you like or dislike this?

I have a 2016 Jeep Patriot 2.4L

Today while driving through a storm, it started smoking under the hood. It was a small amount, barely noticeable, and it looked more like steam. The temp gauge stayed just under the center line. I'm dead broke, have an interview on Wednesday and was planning on donating plasma tomorrow for gas. I need to know if I can risk it or is it done until I somehow get it repaired?

I made a post last week and since it was deleted, here is the TLDR version before I request follow up advice:

"I’m in my late 30s, so is my bf and Im facing imminent eviction/homelessness after losing my job and no new job since. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months; he hasn't offered to let me move in, and I feel it’s too soon to ask. Am I crazy for assuming he’s going to break up with me once shit hits the fan, and should I mentally prepare for the split or just enjoy the relationship while it lasts?"

Most of the people that commented were very helpful in relieving my nerves about this. But, some were confused by the fact that he hasn't offered to let me stay with him. I think that it's unfair to ask him being that he didn't sign up for this at the beginning of our relationship. While the days are getting closer to my court date I eventually started to let those doubts seep into my mind. I eventually had to talk to him about this because some people made offers that seemed like an obvious problem for our relationship: one ex has been a platonic friend for the past 2 years but only has room for me, not my kids, and another ex who is the father of my kids and does have room but lives with his parents and would need to talk to them this weekend to get their permission.

I told him all of that and how I would never impose to ask him to let me and my children stay with him because it's not his fault that I got fired and haven't been able to find a job since despite applications and interviews galore and I don't want to put all of this stress on him. But, I'd have to send my kids back to their dad early if his parents say no to me staying there temporarily and I have to stay with the platonic friend/ex. My bf responded by letting me know he understands and wouldn't have a problem with me staying with an ex because of the situation and that he has room for me but doesn't have a bed besides his own. I stated that I can bring my bed for the kids to be in his 2nd room that he currently uses as his storage unit. He responded with "yeah, not too convenient." So far, that's the end of the conversation.

I'm going to wait until Tuesday to continue the conversation and make any decisions because my kids' dad will talk to his parents this Sunday, I have one more hail mary left in a local organization that will tell me if they have enough funding to help me catch up on my rent and avoid eviction before court this Tuesday. I'm of course going to focus on those bigger priorities right now, I just needed to get all these thoughts out so I can stop obsessing over it in my head. But am I wrong for having come to the conclusion that maybe he doesn't care as much as I thought?:

1. I doubt he was gonna offer me a place to stay if I didn't bring the opportunity to him on an obvious platter.

I don't think he's obligated to offer me and my kids a place but I think maybe he shouldn't tell me things like I'm the love of his life and that he's in love with me and wants to be with me forever if when things like this happen, he's ready to just watch me go through this. He does help with some of my bills so I think I could be being a little unfair.

2. He seems sincere when he let me know that it's not a problem for him if I'm staying with an ex of mine.

I've always assumed that no one who actually cares about our relationship would be okay with their partner living with their EX especially when there's another option of them living with their partner even if it's just temporarily due to a financial situation. Maybe it's just because of the seriousness of the scenario and he doesn't want to come off as controlling or jealous or possessive.

Thanks in advance.

My bf and I are in our late 30s. Been together 8 months. My life is falling apart and I guess if I am going to lose him too, I want to prepare as much as possible. I don't want to get too much in my head and cause any self-sabotage but I just don't want it to hurt more than it needs to if I can mentally prepare for what I suspect could be the inevitable.

Here's my situation:

I lost my job a few months ago. Despite applications and interviews galore, no luck. I'm facing eviction next month. I am not giving up but I'm also not stupid. There is not enough time to make enough money to catch up on the rent anymore and I'm not able to meet the requirements to hold off the eviction process in my area. I'm going to end up homeless. No friends or family can help or take me in. It's definitely waaay too soon and too much of a financially rocky situation to discuss staying together with my bf imo. He also isn't offering to let me stay with him. I don't blame him for that either. I might be able to afford a hotel, extended stay, airbnb, or a shelter but since I'm not running from domestic violence idk if that's really an option.

Anyway, I am trying to avoid making things more stressful on him and I especially want to avoid the possibility that I could be self-sabotaging if I ask him to break up with me already if he's going to once shit hits the fan. I also want to be fair and understand that we're both adults and none of us signed up for a relationship where we would have to be taking care of another adult.

So I guess I don't really know what I'm looking for other than confirmation that I'm at least not insane for thinking he's probably going to break up with me if I become homeless. Maybe I also want to fixate on something that I can control because of course I have bigger problems to worry about than a relationship at this point, even though I love him it's just silly to think about wanting to be someone's girlfriend when I'm almost 40 and in this situation. But I guess any feedback is welcome. Thanks.

I've noticed that a lot of guys I've known in the past decade or so talk like they are on a podcast, whether I know them through family, friendship or more. It drives me crazy. I've always hated contrarianism because they will purposely go opposite of what everyone else is doing and that just feels like a very lazy and sheep move because you're letting other people depict your opinion. And I've noticed that once podcasts became popular, contrarianism evolved into the hot take guy as a personality. Maybe I'm just unlucky and these are the only type of men I ever run into. Or maybe it is a regular thing nowadays. Either way, I can't stand it nor avoid it, it seems. Any advice on how to not let it give me the ick or how to turn the conversation around somehow and maybe with and / or without making it clear that the bit is not being received well.

TW: SA

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Have a lot going on in my life and things always seem to go terribly wrong once they start looking up even just a little bit. It's been like this for a very long time, over 20 to 30 years. Out of that time the worst thing that has happened to me was my ex who probably didn't start the bad luck because I have known him for 20 years but not 30. But he was abusive in multiple ways and definitely deserves the hexing especially since he s3xually abused me, lied on me in court and got temporary custody. I'm also facing eviction and just need more time to land this job I have an interview for tomorrow that could change my life. But eviction court is in July and the job doesn't start until the end of July. I don't need any judgment or anyone trying to tell me that hexing is wrong and all that stuff. Either you have suggestions or you don't and I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this information.

I'm a 37 year old woman and I used to party a lot. More uppers than downers. After a span of a few years of partying too much I noticed some concerning side effects and stopped. One of the most concerning side effects was something that always made me curious and I was never able to get an answer from Google. And the only reason I'm posting it here is because I've started to notice that the concerning side effect has returned when I exercise, sit on leather seats and am in a hot room. Sometimes I only feel relief once this starts happening if I decide to stand in almost a Superman pose so I can at least separate my inner thighs to lower the temperature in that area. My boyfriend has noticed that it's insanely hot between my thighs sometimes if I'm going through this. The only uppers I do nowadays are sodas, energy drinks, coffee and sugar. The only downers are the occasional drinks.

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What's happening is I start to look like I have ants in my pants and I feel very overheated in my underpants, start to sweat at the top of my vulva (probably due to my c-section scar causing a muffin top) , my inner thighs and the fold between my butt and thighs. I even start to feel like I'm sweating A LOT in my labia area. I run to the bathroom all the time when this happens because specifically in the labia and vaginal opening feel a wet sensation. It feels like I am very lightly peeing myself. Usually once I get to the bathroom, there is no pee. Sometimes there is a wetness but I can't tell if it's sweat or pee because the smell is almost in between.

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I would like a better understanding of what's happening to my body.

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I have tried wearing pads and liners, but that usually makes the problem worse for me because it just adds to the fact that my skin can't breathe which makes it even more overheated when all of this is going on. I have this problem probably 3-4 times a month. That's what I also don't get. Sometimes I can drink energy drinks and coffee and workout and it won't cause this to happen. Sometimes I can handle sitting in leather seats and not get swamp ass. I just don't get it.

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The last time I made a good effort to do some research on this, I remember finding information about vasodilation and some gland near the urethra. I'll probably start to research again but I wanted to post here first in case anyone had any helpful information. Thanks in advance.

I'm a 37 year old woman and I used to party a lot. More uppers than downers. After a span of a few years of partying too much I noticed some concerning side effects and stopped. One of the most concerning side effects was something that always made me curious and I was never able to get an answer from Google. And the only reason I'm posting it here is because I've started to notice that the concerning side effect has returned when I exercise, sit on leather seats and am in a hot room. Sometimes I only feel relief once this starts happening if I decide to stand in almost a Superman pose so I can at least separate my inner thighs to lower the temperature in that area. My boyfriend has noticed that it's insanely hot between my thighs sometimes if I'm going through this and he happens to want to make out or something. The only uppers I do nowadays are energy drinks, coffee and sugar. The only downers are the occasional drinks.

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What's happening is I start to look like I have ants in my pants and I feel very overheated in my underpants, start to sweat at the top of my vulva (probably due to my c-section scar causing a muffin top) , my inner thighs and the fold between my butt and thighs. I even start to feel like I'm sweating A LOT in my labia area. I run to the bathroom all the time when this happens because specifically in the labia and vaginal opening feel a wet sensation. It feels like I am very lightly peeing myself. Usually once I get to the bathroom, there is no pee. Sometimes there is a wetness but I can't tell if it's sweat or pee because the smell is almost in between.

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I have tried wearing pads and liners, but that usually makes the problem worse for me because it just adds to the fact that my skin can't breathe which makes it even more overheated when all of this is going on. I have this problem probably 3-4 times a month. That's what I also don't get. Sometimes I can drink energy drinks and coffee and workout and it won't cause this to happen. Sometimes I can handle sitting in leather seats and not get swamp ass. I just don't get it.

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The last time I made a good effort to do some research on this, I remember finding information about vasodilators. I'll probably start to research again but I wanted to post here first in case anyone had any helpful information. Thanks in advance.

I live in San Antonio Texas and have been having no luck in my attempts to find a community of people who practice and believe in Hoodoo. Is there some way that I can find local practitioners, especially certified ones that can offer guidance or at least community? Is there a certain title of an organization or a building that I should be looking for? I honestly don't know where to begin so any information is helpful. Thank you.

My significant other is 37 and he looks healthy. He has a little bit of a gut and I think it's super hot but he is always trying to challenge himself no matter if he meets his own standards or not. This has led to him opting in to fasting. But what concerns me about it is, he will do dry fasting (no food and also no water, coffee or anything to drink at all) which I don't think sounds healthy. He will do this and become tired because obviously he's not giving himself anything to get energy from. He usually plans to do this type of fasting for 1 to 3 days depending on everything else he has going on in his schedule. Is this something I should be worried about? Should I just support him? Is there a very telling point when I should know that I need to tell him this isn't healthy anymore?

Is there anything I can do other than food since my apartment has a really bad roach problem and it makes it hard for me to sleep if I think I'm doing anything to attract those disgusting MFs?

Hi, I am 37 and have been practicing hoodoo on and off for about a decade. When I get really low and depression I don't believe in anything and once that really bad rut goes away I always feel too guilty to get right back into the practice. So I feel like I should know more than I do right now. But I always feel like I barely know anything about Hoodoo. Anyway, my life has been terrible ever since I was 5 years old. I've always waited for it to get better and it's always only got worse. My boyfriend who doesn't really practice anything but believes in the spiritual world and just chooses not to mess with it at all, hence the not practicing, finally suggested that maybe I've been worked on negatively.

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I have thought this before and the very short time I experienced positivity and things working out for me in this world was immediately after getting tarot read and getting jinx removal work done. I don't know if this was something I was supposed to do on a regular basis to keep the curse off of me but my life is back to being crap and it has been for about a year other than the fact that I'm in a pretty amazing relationship. I'm on the verge of being evicted and I feel good about today's job interview but I would like to know if there's something I can do really quick right before the interview to give me some good luck but also would like to know if there's something I need to be doing on a regular basis to keep the curse off of me. Or maybe a stronger spell to do to make the jinx removal permanent.

I have about a little over a cup of soil from the property of a woman who helped my ex husband wrong me while we were together in an age inappropriate relationship for 15 years and helped him wrong meme in court when I finally got the ick and left after realizing in my 30s (startedto realize in my mid 20s but couldn't face the music) that I would never even consider having sex let alone dating someone 9 years younger than me like he did since I was the age of 15.

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I plan on getting dirt from his property soon. What can I do with either or both collections of dirt?

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We are going to go to court again eventually once the temporary custody order is up. I have thought of putting a hex on both of them, but I fear something happening to them while they have my children and I also don't want to break my children's hearts because they do still have attachments to these awful and truly evil people unfortunately because I didn't leave soon enough.

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So because of that and I so far have no reason to believe they are a danger to my kids other than my ex-husband's short temper, to my knowledge from what my kids say, they are not getting hit by him so for now he gets to live. Anyway, please tell me there is something I can do with the dirt from their properties.

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I don't want any hexes to directly affect my children though. If that's not an option, is there a way to use the soil to simply have things go my way and for him to stop winning every time he tries to hurt me again and again in court.

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Thanks in advance 🫶🏾

I have posted this in the social anxiety subreddit but haven't received any responses other than AI and irrelevant comments. So I'm hoping it's okay that I post this here for literally any help at all.

I am a grown woman that still suffers from many things that cause depression and social anxiety. Adult body acne, OCD skin picking and terrible teeth because it doesn't matter how much insurance I get, I cannot afford the copays for everything that needs to happen for me to have a decent smile or non disgusting skin. I notice that when it gets really bad on my skin, people will literally wince at the site of me and will avoid talking to me.

The last job did a real number on making me feel extremely isolated from everyone else. It was a very small number of employees on site and I was the only one excluded in personal conversations or gatherings that weren't required meetings. And even during the required meetings anytime I would engage at all, people would give this look like they had contempt and resentment for me just being there, even though I always made sure I only engaged and participated with valuable input. But, because it came from me, they didn't want anything to do with it. I have had depression since I was in pre-K and every time stuff like this happens, and it has happened my whole life, I end up getting anxious about going to work to the point that I am almost paralyzed once I turn my car off in the parking lot. And then the calling in starts and that's when I lose my job. Every. Single. Time. The job search has never been this scarce before and it finally got me to the point of likely being evicted because the only job offers I've gotten have been nothing but commission only sales jobs that just don't seem like something I would be a good fit for. I've thought maybe I could just pretend I'm a good fit and fake it till I make it. But with paid training not being a thing in those work fields, it made it impossible for me to even show up to work because gas and not getting a paycheck for weeks.

I've hit a streak of luck resilience it seems and gotten a couple of interviews for jobs that seem like I would be great for and their environment would be more conducive to my work history and experience. I'm afraid though that the pattern will repeat itself if I don't get on top of it before I start the assumed job. I know the obvious answer to help not let this type of stuff get to me is to see a therapist and a dermatologist and a dentist. But I don't have money like that. I don't think I ever will and I want to get realistic and practical tips on what I can do, if anything, to avoid this from happening. The only idea that I've come up with is pretend to be a really shy person so that I can avoid people before they avoid me so at least I feel like I have control in the situation and won't get anxiety about it. But that just seemed weird to even have that as a plan lol so I would love to hear some other suggestions if there are any.

I am a grown woman that still suffers from many things that cause depression and social anxiety. Adult body acne, OCD skin picking and terrible teeth because it doesn't matter how much insurance I get, I cannot afford the copays for everything that needs to happen for me to have a decent smile or non disgusting skin. I notice that when it gets really bad on my skin, people will literally wince at the site of me and will avoid talking to me. The last job did a real number on making me feel extremely isolated from everyone else. It was a very small number of employees on site and I was the only one excluded in personal conversations or gatherings that weren't required meetings. And even during the required meetings anytime I would engage at all, people would give this look like they had contempt and resentment for me just being there, even though I always made sure I only engaged and participated with valuable input. But, because it came from me, they didn't want anything to do with it. I have had depression since I was in pre-K and every time stuff like this happens, and it has happened my whole life, I end up getting anxious about going to work to the point that I am almost paralyzed once I turn my car off in the parking lot. And then the calling in starts and that's when I lose my job. Every. Single. Time. The job search has never been this scarce before and it finally got me to the point of likely being evicted because the only job offers I've gotten have been nothing but commission only sales jobs that just don't seem like something I would be a good fit for. I've thought maybe I could just pretend I'm a good fit and fake it till I make it. But with paid training not being a thing in those work fields, it made it impossible for me to even show up to work because gas and not getting a paycheck for weeks.

I've hit a streak of ~~luck~~ resilience it seems and gotten a couple of interviews for jobs that seem like I would be great for and their environment would be more conducive to my work history and experience. I'm afraid though that the pattern will repeat itself if I don't get on top of it before I start the assumed job. I know the obvious answer to help not let this type of stuff get to me is to see a therapist and a dermatologist and a dentist. But I don't have money like that. I don't think I ever will and I want to get realistic and practical tips on what I can do, if anything, to avoid this from happening. The only idea that I've come up with is pretend to be a really shy person so that I can avoid people before they avoid me so at least I feel like I have control in the situation and won't get anxiety about it. But that just seemed weird to even have that as a plan lol so I would love to hear some other suggestions if there are any.

So I bought two tickets to see the Hamilton play in August at the majestic theater. I ended up being able to afford a couple more tickets for my kids after they suddenly discovered the play and realized it was the best thing in the world to ever exist. The only issue is, I was able to get those two extra tickets on the same night that I'm going however they are not in the same row or aisle but in the same general area. They are also not seated together because at the time that I decided to buy those tickets there really wasn't much available. My question is if I go up to the box office or an usher, is it possible for me to explain the situation and ask them to find seats for all of us to be together? Or at least the two that I bought for my children to be together? I'm on ok with this since one of my kids is almost an adult they can mind the other child with a good amount of check-ins on my end to make sure they're okay. This is something that I've done before a long time ago at a Spurs game but it's of course a completely different venue and it wasn't such a popular game so I can definitely see how it's not a possibility for something as popular as the Hamilton play. Any other suggestions are welcome as well.

How do I exude happiness that isn't there or make it somehow there despite everything?

My life is going down in flames. Lost job, pending eviction and 3/4 of my kids (9-17) didn't even tell me happy mother's day or get/make me anything for mother's day. They acted like they were going to comply with my simple, free and low effort request for Mother's Day when I ordered their favorite food for doordash but once they finished eating food all that compliance went out the window.

With all that, I've been super depressed and worried that I won't be able to even pretend I'm okay when their birthday parties come up. The three kids that made me feel super unloved and unappreciated have birthdays coming up within the next 22 days. And I usually give them individual birthday parties at my place and they swim in the community pool with their friends and cousins. So minimal money, that's the only positive. I already sent out the invitations and all that so I can't change anything. I'd be deemed a terrible mother if I did that. My best friend told me that I should just cancel the birthday parties because they don't deserve them for how crappy they were but that just doesn't feel right to me. Okay maybe it's a little right but it also seems like it would just set me up to hate myself and be hated even more and I can't handle that right now.

So the parties must go on and I always end up being a complete downer and a wet blanket at a party when I'm forced to attend or provide the party when I'm super depressed. That will definitely make me feel worse. So how do I accomplish pretending that I'm not unbearably unhappy every time I think of how I'm struggling but still finding a way to provide these parties for kids who don't gaf about me?