u/ruby_red_1

I like being by myself and safe in my mind and where I can be kind to myself and self soothe in ways that I know how.

I’m overcoming insane burn out from my job right now. I have cried several days just thinking about the sheer stress of work and my coworkers. I work in healthcare and it’s hard. Trying to be positive around patients when u feel u are in shambles. I can cry just thinking about it.

I feel sick to my stomach knowing I’ll be at work again in a few hours. It’ll be a quiet day. But still.

I’m trying to rest as much as possible. I showered and made my hair pretty and took care of my skin and got in comfy clothes. Had tea too.

I feel as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more sensitive to life. My stress tolerance is basically zero now.

Wish I was a different person with a different brain.

So I’m an opt tech now. A lot of people do walking/running shoes but Im very minimalistic and I feel like some of them are too “athletic” looking or whatever. It’s just a me thing.

But what are your fav shoes to wear?

I’ve spent a lot of my younger years thinking that I needed companionship and a life partner in order to have a fulfilled life.

A lot of time passed. I had debilitating medical issues for a big part of my life. I was hospitalized. I was heavily drugged on multiples meds. I lost everything. I lost myself.

Fast forward to today. I’m a working professional. I afford the things that I need. I take matters into my own hands.

Most of all. I enjoy my own company and doing things without someone’s approval. I don’t feel responsible for someone else’s needs and feelings. I am my own safe space. I’m not around the men from my past. Who criticized me, put me down, treated me like an object, and made me feel small.

I know not all men are that way. But I’m generally just not attracted to anything. Or anyone. Ever.

I’m just really relived I’ve reached this point in my life. Nothing matters. I will never be in a relationship or a mother. And that’s a freeing feeling.

Specifically seborrheic dermatitis.

That plus my existing rosacea.

Basically I have the most sensitive inflamed skin ever.

Brb gonna go cry about it now.

I called in Monday. I never call in. But I am struggling so hard right now.

I’m getting really good at my job. that means that managers rely on me more to do stuff. I feel like I’m doing everything and my coworkers just watch me do it all.

Sleep doesn’t feel like enough. Food or caffeine isn’t giving me energy. I’m just tired and never want to work again.

I hate people. Yet I still work in healthcare and have to hand hold all day. Fml

I’ve been on them for 6 years now. I recently added Lithium Oratate as a supplement. It greatly helps my mood, memory, and sleep.

I also did therapy for 5 years and tbh it didn’t do much for me.

It sucks that I will need meds forever. But without the help, my mental state goes straight to hell. I become catatonic and cannot leave my bed. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, used to have panic disorder and psychosis at one point too. The psychosis went away when I stopped using cannabis.

How do you cope? What has worked?

I stay in bed and lay there so long, staring at my phone or sometimes tv, that it’ll give me a headache.

I’m clinically depressed and take meds but it’s not enough.

I have nowhere to really go, or people to hang with, so I just stay at home and curl up in bed.

I’m 31. I didn’t think I would struggle this hard in my 30s.

Nothing gives me joy. People suck. Life sucks.

And whoa!!! I love the ADD. It has reduced so much accommodative effort and strain vs no glasses at all.

I know this is obvious, but I just wanted to mention how life changing it feels. Especially if you get the wider corridor kind, which I did.

I now know what patients talk about when it makes them dizzy when it causes the small distortion on the edges, I totally can imagine the stronger your script gets, the more pronounced that effect is. It definitely takes getting used to.

I love having an intermediate zone now too.

BRO. I got glasses from my job and my coworker (whos not licensed, new grad in another major, wasn’t serious about this job) measured my PD wrong and I didn’t even know.

I got a new script and my (licensed) boss remeasured my PD, and it’s way more accurate and omg! My new glasses are crystal clear.

I couldn’t tell the first time, cause they were my first glasses ever, and I didn’t realize my vision could be even clearer.

TLDR, get your PD taken by a professional always.

Has it always been this way?

I was on meds for several years and gained a ton of weight.

Recently. My period stopped completely. For 8 months. It would have kept going longer, but my doc was worried and had me take medicine to induce a cycle.

Since then. My hormones have been off. My androgens are high. And I mostly carry weight in my mid section. It really sucks.

Other girls with history using antipsychotics, have you experienced this before? It’s really the worst.

So I never thought I’d be a D cup and here we are.

I didn’t think this would happen and it freaking did. They feel freaking huge.

RIP to my back (that already has scoliosis).

So I never thought I’d be a D cup and here we are.

I didn’t think this would happen and it freaking did. They feel freaking huge.

RIP to my back (that already has scoliosis).

Basically my ciliary muscle is weak so my eyes dont accommodate with my crystalline lens as well as it should.

I never really noticed. I just thought the general blurriness that I had was from my Cyl.

Does anyone else have this?