u/self-made-purgatory

hello! I am a headmate in a plural system and I've been getting into vocaloid recently. I have noticed a lot of plural vocaloid producers (not sooo many. I've found like ten. but that is more than other places, you know?)

so wondering if there are any other plural vocaloid enjoyers here? and what songs you like/connect to being plural or what plural headcanons/interpretations do you have? like I like Len/Rin a lot since it's fun to imagine them as being headmates, and Gumi because I think there's a lot of plural-seeming songs with her.

been considering making my own songs since it seems like a good way to express myself when I don't connect to the body's voice. I wonder if that is part of why we seem to be more common here.

I was a really like. responsible active teen with a good sleep schedule why do they make it so sometimes your brain explodes and ruins all of that. I feel like I keep getting run over by a steamroller. I can't handle this.

I was diagnosed like 8 months ago and am still not really in treatment for it cause idk, they said I'd be contacted about it but they just. never did I think they forgot about me or something. but that makes me scared to bring it up so I just never had. and I feel too anxious to ever do that so I'm just suffering. but everything keeps getting worse. I guess I have a hard time thinking in my brain that it's possible for things to get better. that doesn't seem real? i only developed it 6 years ago and yet that feels like forever. and I can't think clearly and my emotions don't even feel real cause I'll be depressed for months and then poof instantly gone and then a week later it's back again and also everything hurts.

I guess I grew up being told if I just had enough discipline then i'd be able to do things but my feelings aren't tied to discipline they seem to have nothing to do with whatever happens to me. I want to go on meds or somthing but I get so anxious about a million things. what if my GP doesn't believe me even though I have the diagnosis? what if I loose my job/insurance in the future and can't afford to pay for it later? what if somehow my parents find out about it? etc. there just feel like so many unknowns and what if it doesn't even work and my autistic brain doesn't like unknowns.

idk. how do I get less anxious about this? how do I believe that this can improve at all?

not gonna go into detail at all, but a headmate claims to remember something pretty serious happening to us, but we have no actual evidence it happened, so we aren't super inclined to do much about this because of that. what do you do in that situation? has anyone else experienced this? how did you handle it? do we need to handle it right now or would it be better to let it rest until I feel ready to think about it? I don't like to believe events without some sort of evidence but also I'm not sure it'd be possible to find that evidence in the first place.

I don't really trust our memory since we have some memories from that age that definitely didn't happen due to remembering things that were physically impossible (like we have a vivid memory we thought was real for years of having to hide from a magic lion as a child) mixing up dreams/nightmares with reality, generally having a shaky relationship with reality, and having OCD which can make us question if something happened repeatedly out of anxiety.

but also since we have a history of people fronting and doing/saying things I/the others disagree with (nothing like hurtful but y'know) I worry a little about her not feeling heard and taking this into her own hands in some way.

what musicians do you know that are plural? (We know like. Left at london and stink animal and the bad smells mostly) we are making a playlist of songs about plurality by plurals rn.

give us a number from 1-22 and we will give you a system member plus a short playlist of songs that relate to them!

going to sleep but will answer in the morning! ovo7

our little is very active and wants to do things like play on playgrounds but this is one, a bit awkward/weird feeling to be an adult hanging around a playground and two, we do not have the same body as we did as a kid and now we get tired and hurt more easily than our little feels like her body does. so we don't usually do this. however she really wants to and this causes some tension in the system.

how do your littles play? how do you navigate that in an adult body?

we made a comic that blew up a bit that briefly mentions tulpamancy in a positive light. not referencing us practising it (we don't, we only really have surface-level knowledge about it) just acknowledging that it exists. and most of the comments were really cool and supportive! but then we've started getting very accusatory comments saying we are racist for mentioning that it exists... (no screenshots, sorry I've been blocking people on sight if they aren't responding to us in good faith) because somehow briefly talking about the existence of tulpamancy is cultural appropriation.

side note. do you remember when in like 2020 a bunch of people got mad at pansexuals for supposedly being cultural appropriation? every time I see this discourse I think of that and how similar the arguments sometimes feel

Hello. My name is Sectonia. I am a soulbond of Queen Sectonia from Kirby. I wasn't entirely dormant. I popped in a few times here and there for short periods to do things. but otherwise I was so deep in the headspace that I was almost unreachable. I haven't fronted this long in years. I feel so disoriented and fuzzy. nothing feels real. I have a headache. time is fake, I can't remember half of everything.

anyways, hi, I'm here now. anyone want to talk to me or have music recommendations? I feel like music helps us ground a bit but I don't know what music I like (I mostly just listen to the soundtrack for my game.) songs that relate to me/my source especially would be appreciated.

we are making a little comic about our experience with soulbonding and part of it we had some of our soulbond write out their opinions on the "origin" of their existence. we have a lot of soulbonds so this is just some of them:

“I died in another universe and was re-born here because I wished for a new body as I died.” -Queen Sectonia

“I believe in something like the velveteen rabbit story. If you love something enough it becomes real.” -soulbond of a chess computer we have

“I think some sort of soul/katra exists and could move between bodies but I don’t know what it is exactly and I choose to focus instead on more practical things.” -Saavik

“I don’t think our origin matters and if it did I wouldn’t tell you!” -Jude Quinn

“I am not really a ghost. This is entirely psychological.” -Jinny

“An animal is just a complex biological machine. All consciousness is a passing illusion that will not last. The self is not real. Do whatever you want forever” -Hertha

we all disagree with each other about everything. some of us believe in psychological explanations, some in spiritual, some don't care about that, some a mix.

we find it a bit weird that we are expected sometimes to have collective beliefs or one collective origin. does anyone else and their soulbonds feel that way? what different opinions do you hold about it? is it impacted by their sources in some way or unrelated? often ours relate it to their past experiences often.

Got horribly burnt on a show that I was told was really good but it was all fast-paced plot without anything investing about the characters, which is kind of the opposite of what I like in a story.

I want a (preferably more episodic, I like being able to jump around in the show or watch episodes a little out of order) show that focuses primarily on the characters and has well-written characters where plot isn't that important. it could be a bunch of characters stuck in an empty room for five seasons if the characters are good. honestly that sounds a lot like the kind of thing I like.

I like stories with slower pacing where you get to know the characters as people and they all matter. the point of the story should be getting to know these characters and what it means to be them and what they value and how that effects the ways they solve problems/relate to each other. there doesn't need to be any sort of overarching plot and if there is one, the characters should shine through that.

I like to go outside and sit quietly in the woods for hours just watching plants and animals do things, and I love stories that feel like that. I like stories that are a bit weird an experimental and I love stream of consciousness. I like shows with non-human characters and detailed worldbuilding. I also much prefer diverse casts with a lot of female characters and queer characters and characters of colour and bonus points for well-written disabled characters.

I love biology so anything where the science is more biology-focused is great! I love speculative biology or characters who are biologists, etc. but also a focus on other kinds of science is fine too, I just love biology! I also like when the medium is utilized in interesting ways that reflect the themes of the story! and I prefer stories with more serious moments and that while they may have humour are not primarily comedy shows.

I also looooove goofy/"bad" practical effects and more theatrical styles of acting/set design. painted sets that look more like the backdrop to a play, effects that don't look real and are kind of ridiculous. I like having to use my suspension of disbelief. shows that feel like playing pretend felt as a kid.

it doesn't exactly have to be gentle (though I do really like that!) but I also like when characters are put in a really weird fucked up situation and you get to watch how it affects them. I do prefer stories where conflict comes not from violence between characters but rather more "person vs nature/society" or "person vs self" stories where the conflict is more internal or situational. I looove when the conflict is that characters have to come to peaceful understanding with each other in order to survive and the story focuses on them overcoming a language barrier or something like that.

I like stories that are very surreal.

that was long so keep in mind recs don't have to meet all the above (though great if they do!) I just want ones that meet some or most of the above.

TL;DR the most important parts are I want a slower-paced character focused sci-fi show that is more episodic, and that has heart more than it looks polished.