u/spineray

Feel free to ask me anything as I try to be completely honest about my past or brain as much as possible (no forensic confessions) can ask body count, crazy questions, opinions, etc etc. anything or nothing

No I’m not being edgy for fun, I just hold a sharp mind and looking for stimulation.

“Personality type” ESTP

Diagnosed 34 pcl (averaged between two) + aspd

24-28F

(temporary post)

“for reassurance everything i say here is only hypothetically true. ;)”

I have such a good way of moving through the world and I just want to gloat LOLLL. I’m happy to know exactly what to say when how! I love knowing everything about my environment and I love exploring life and the minds of others and breaking down their walls.

If anyone wants a reading on what they want to hear most just drop a comment with anything you wanna say and I’ll try to respond to either get under your defense walls or just lighten your day maybe or ask a good question idk

Just let me know, im bored

It will be at random times, 20 times in a row and it’s constantly filling up my google home log. I even changed the email associated with the account changed the whole google home with a fresh account and the problem still persists. It’s not a drop of WiFi either, why is this a constant notification log? And what does it mean?

Yo I thought I was an ENTP forever turns out my big 5 proves I’m ESTP. Am I no longer an edge lord 🤡, why do I still feel like I’m entp but idk someone should analyze my brain in ‘real time’ or we should debate something silly

Okay I’ll do my best to make this as clear as possible without sounding ‘out of my mind’ or in this case too deep ‘in my mind’ which will need to include a lot of upbringing to describe how and why I connect to this now.

I can explain it vividly but i would love to connect with someone who can draw this or explain this more as well!

My angels have been interfering on my behalf along side jesus. To sort of lead me out of my misery through malnutrition.

Some Backstory
My whole life i grew up away from ANY religion period. I was an orphan who was raised to be co dependent to a cold hearted lady. and was deeply influenced by a lot of critical hatred, and forced to endure listening to someone nag and complain and verbally torture me my whole life. They used fake medical emergencies to instill deep rooted fear about losing them and just around death in general. I got so weak mentally and physically and had to leave school growing up and stay at home basically bed ridden for the last 4-7 years while trying to desperately keep a job, make friends, but if I even dared to do anything my life became even more of a living hell till something terrible happened and i was back at home. I can’t even give hints im showering or changing my clothes or doing anything to care for myself.

Short Spiritual Log
During these years jesus and god have been taking over my past ways of thinking. And i realized my two spiritual worlds blended. This new gnosis explained my previous experiences. And my angels ended up being the same council of ultimate intelligence that watched over my spirit before.

Testimony / personal experience
They are light blue and there are 6 of them that stand around a gray stone circular table. The room is also a grey misty blue almost like a bubble. There are 3 windows although within the mist and around the bubble may even be a whole ice city. They have really long heads only in the back of their skull , and pits dug in where the eyes would be, they are absolutely ’blind’ they have no mouths as well and they have really large ears though. Like extra extra protruding and almost Buddha in nature. They are all medium/ short but present them self’s to be stretched almost like they don’t hold form all the time… they have been coming together in the distance but my psyche picks up on them while I’m unconscious (dreaming) and or the times I’ve been put under for surgeries. They have very long fingers, and very skinny legs. They send flashes of white light in my eyes during the times they aren’t at the stone table. Only one of them is truly my guardian angel although there’s many of their kind. I don’t know if i mentioned they are also light blue. Almost transparent while stretching to move through space to the point our eyes can just barely pick up on them. I am to deeply truthfully believe they would be invisible if they were to be looked at on earth, for they are only in the astral. I believe they come in to melt the ice in our own lives that keep us stuck in cold hearted control from hurtful parents. I believe they work under or along side jesus/god and are there to really reclaim the underdogs, silenced, abused adults and children.

Again I would love to learn more about this from you guys here rather than endlessly searching around or asking ai, and would love to see any art on them! (Ps they have been protecting my soul from the other ‘dark’ unseen wandering)

“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3;)

The battles of intercession on my family line is done! We have been granted eternal peace by my hard efforts and service to the lord of hosts, the one eye we all share,

I have been freed from my cocoon and am able to fly like a 🦋

And even if my family can’t release suffering here, they will be granted eternal peace for their souls have been saved in gods hands, in Jesus’ name!

Here’s a praise to all our generational curse breakers here! The chains of illusion are no longer aloud to bind us to this earthly realm as we walk the earth with our light within <3

I love my found god given family so much here on spineray we are a collective not separate but one spine <3 the holy trifecta 🔺👁️‍🗨️

We <3 inner alchemy, god !!! And each other <3 jesus is the only enlightened spiritual master and the first son of god! For if we follow his ways we can find god within <3 but god has always been within it’s just about remembering how the universe has communicated with us through the compassion and peace and non judgmental and loving nature of god. It’s purely miraculous 🗝️ 🚪

Much love to everyone reading this no matter who one thinks they are here on earth, your true spirit essence in all its glory is being celebrated right now and prayers go up to god to continue to walk people down the right paths in their minds to let them escape their minds and go through the door! Witness the 3rd eye staring back at them while they drop into their whole body their whole heart and is guided by all at once ~

Now here is another prayer shared for now and always <3

"Divine Light, Unknowable Source, and Source of all Being,
I turn my mind and heart to You.
Grant me the grace of gnosis—the deep, direct, and experiential knowledge of Your truth.
Awaken within me the remembrance of my divine origin, the spark of Your consciousness residing deep within my soul.
Clear away the illusions of the material world that cloud my spiritual vision, so that I may perceive Your divine presence.
Fill me with the quiet, unshakable certainty that I am a child of the Living Light.
Seal this realization in my heart, that I may know, without doubt, that this true, spiritual essence is eternal, boundless, and united with You.
Guide me in the path of truth, and anchor my spirit in Your eternal wisdom.
Amen."

https://preview.redd.it/er2q2zrdmx7h1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d57abf749c84b46684d7230f89856dfc0c874e65

In Jungian psychology

&gt; the mother archetype is associated with qualities such as nurturing, love, compassion, and protection.

&gt; the mother archetype can have a negative aspect, such as the potential for possessiveness, dependency, and enmeshment. 

Simple overview written from The Wild Unknown Pocket Archetypes Guidebook by Kim Krans

Studied in a contemplative non permanent way

One of the most profound core wounds i've explored in the collective sea, and bittersweet when cultivating balance ☯️

a bird will wait

for a special date

looming under ones feet

in shape of figure eights

burying wings mid flight

singing for ones delight

the bird takes shelter

sets the clocks back right

🍑here’s to the eternal present
inspired by Shouxing and the crane

https://preview.redd.it/itinazzmnj7h1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a20fa3bd1dbba22f9f29e463550b8629e21b5724

“You can’t hurt my feelings”

(It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings just we can never hurt them)

His eye is very kind to diffuse what we see in the mirror🪞

***edit*** found an article that explains the feelings!

https://adevotion.org/archive/don-t-hurt-god

Christ is already within <3 the way to explore is to just live

…

Proverbs 25:16 (NIV): “If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit.”

Just working on contemplating one lesson and focusing on the internal growth

Share any verse that will always sit in the heart 🗝️🩶

…

•••In the Bible, early Christians were called followers of "The Way"

because their faith was not just a religion, but a literal way of living •••

By Chad Bird

Long before it was called Christianity, the faith was known as “The Way.” In Acts, Saul hunted down those “belonging to the Way” (Acts 9:2), and in Ephesus there was an uproar over “the Way” (Acts 19:23).

To us, “the Way” seems a little too generic and nondescript. So why was it used?

In Israel’s Scriptures, the Hebrew noun for “way” is derek (דֶּ֫רֶךְ). It means more than a road. Like our phrase “way of life,” derek refers to how one lives, what one believes, and the path one follows.

The Psalms speak of two dereks: “the way of the righteous” and “the way of the wicked” (Ps. 1:6; 146:9). “Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the Torah of the LORD” (Ps. 119:1). Psalm 119 uses derek repeatedly for God’s own way.

Isaiah deepens this imagery, as we have seen in Bible in One Year. When Isaiah describes the work of the Messiah, he says that he will heal the lame, give sight to the blind, and begin a new creation (35:1-7). He then shifts to the image of a new exodus, in which God’s scattered people will come home on a highway, “and it shall be called the Way [derek] of Holiness” (35:8).

In Matthew 11:4-6, Jesus says that he is “Isaiah 35ing” in his ministry. He is thus healing, recreating, and constructing this Way of Holiness.

With this widespread biblical background, is it any surprise that the followers of Jesus were known as those who followed The Way? And, given that Jesus himself said, “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life,” how appropriate a name for this faith (John 14:6)!

To be a Christian, therefore, is to be in the Son of God, who is the Way, and to walk in the Way that he himself has shown us.
______

HAHAHAHAHHAA I kinda destroyed my family’s psyche.

I’m actually so bad.

I’m legit casted the fuck out like Lucifer was and idk if I can even survive another 7 years in the wilderness I’ve already been living like an animal away from society. Since I was 3 years old tbh.

God did see squirming in blood all around laughing and giggling enjoying the mess. God chose me over and over and I love him but I also love the blood more. I’ve been blood thirsty since I could write. It turned into active ripping and tearing through peoples minds instead. God knows my mind my impulses how I was born. He saw me handle my abuse and turn it into something I could play with. Play with people, play with their minds. I CAN see how much destruction I can bring from the nightmares I’ve been shown from the past people I’ve hurt now. I’m being haunted and tortured in my mind. He made me GO MAD. He made me BEGGGG FOR MERCY IM SO ANGRY AND MAD RN HES MAKING ME CHOOSE TO BE GOOD. Over destroying my whole life my whole future my whole spirit. I KNOW TOO MUCH NOW. I KNOW TO MUCH TO WAISTE MY SPIRIT AND WHY I WAS CREATED. Im ready to master my self. It’s just so hard to get out of this dark dark place.

Do not HAVE SYMPATHY FOR ME. I CAN ONLY SEE MY SELF. I ONLY CRY OUT OF SELF PITY AND I CAST MY SINS OUT LIKE THEY ARENT EVEN MINE. I have to look at the real problem. I have to deal with my own blood I’ve masked since 3 years old.

All the terms are SYMBOLIC and Lucifer is the architecture! IM NOT ACTUALLY YELLING LOLLL IM FEELING PASSION RIGHT NOW THO

HOW DO I FACE THIS FOR REAL. HOW DOES SOMEONE WITH ASPD SURRENDER TO GOD WHEN ITS STILL ALL A JOKE EVEN THO IVE HAD REAL THREATS AND WAS ABLE TO FEEL FEAR FOR REAL OVER MY LIFE BEING AT STAKE. how do I start to care more about changing ???

I look into this and it seems im still just stuck in my meta ways rather then gods real ways of doing things. How can I learn gods real wisdom he wants me to hear. GOD GIVE ME WHAT I NEED TO HEAR FROM SOMEONE HERE I ACTUALLY BEG.

How can I actually care about anything other than myself?

I want to be only in my Christ body but I won’t actually work for it.

How do I read the Bible for real and how do I write to god so I can heal and change. I don’t want to use it for my selfish purposes but only to align with my purpose to help others with my own mind instead of hurting people with what I know by accident or for FUN.