u/ukiyo98

I've bee nomading across Europe for years now and people almost always hit me with the 'where are you from' and I don't mind telling them, but it practically always turns into a political discussion I never agreed to be a part of. I'm from a place where talking politics is taboo and reserved for rare conversations with close friends and family, so it's still always mindboggling why strangers feel entitled to having that conversation out of the blue.

If I shut it down it makes me look like I have an unsavory opinion, but I literally just don't want to discuss politics in unnecessary settings. I'm not a spokesperson or a walking passport, there's so many better things to talk about.

I've seen it in so many circles and conversations with people that it just gives me social burnout. Often when I meet english people the conversation always goes back to residence permits, structural barriers, and 'oh back in MY country...' even if they've been living here for a while. I just want to talk with people about their hobbies and interests, goddamn it! I think about bureaucracy enough when I need it, and I don't want to spend my free time talking about it when we could be getting to know each other as people.

I'm writing my master thesis and I've never coded an interview before. All the sources and books I've read so far just briefly say stuff like 'don't summarize, do use -ing verbs', but that literally tells me nothing. I kinda understand how to code user interviews but I'm doing expert interviews.

Please share any tips you have or helpful sources, I'd be very grateful!

Sincerely, a neurodivergent beginner researcher

In my program you get to choose when you want to write your thesis and technically you can put it off for as long as you want while you prepare. After you start though, you only have 6 months to complete it.

I know I'm having perfectionism paralysis but I can't bring myself to start it because I'm thinking I have to prepare better, there'll be a better time, or I don't know enough to actually complete it. We only get one chance to write it and if we don't make it, we fail the degree.

I've always struggled writing papers, especially literature review. I've written a paper that I've gotten a hundred on but it cost me tremendously mental health-wise. I didn't have a single moment of relief and happiness while writing it, which took two months of doing nothing but sitting at the computer.

I'm neurodivergent and have trouble focusing on one subject, especially something so daunting and within such a short period of time. My supervisor says I can begin but I'm too scared to even though I know I should. I just don't think I have the capacity to give up my entire social life and do this and potentially fail.

I'm doing expert interviews for university at the moment and I feel the general expectation is to basically stalk the person to find out literally everything about them, their life, and their line of work and ask them questions based on this. I feel that's super weird, like if I were the person being interviewed it would throw me off and make me super uncomfortable if someone stalked my socials and found out very specific things about me.

Also, since I'm using grounded theory, my approach would be to let the person tell me in their own words about something that I technically could research to find out about them, because I can only assume how they feel about a certain thing, but to me, the crucial data is what they personally tell me. So, genuine question, is it fine if I don't stalk my interviewees lol?

Why do some kids act to integrate new kids into their class, while others bully the newbie? Why do some see a person who drank too much and call them a cab while others try to rob them? You get the gist. Genuinely curious why this happens and varies so much from individual to individual.

It would be simple to say that hurt people hurt people, but I don't think that's the case. Plenty of people with rough pasts do everything to make sure others are safe, while people who are at a surface level well-adjusted have some fucked up tendencies.

During my whole life I've found that certain people didn't like me, and I didn't like them. These were usually the bossy kind of people who intimidated or manipulated others to get their way and influence.

I've never been a person who could be gaslighted or manipulated into doing something I don't want because, well, why would I do something that goes against what I want or value? For some reason this makes these types of people furious and I've often been the scapegoat of situations in which I just didn't want to go along with someone else's whim.

I also can't stand fakeness, and many of these people are very much that. That's why I don't have that many friends, yet all of them are genuine (and mostly also neurodivergent).

Edit: thanks for all of your replies. I'm very sorry to hear that the majority of the experiences are the opposite, and I hope none of you ever encounter cruel people in your lives again, and heal from the impact of past encouters.

TW: self-harm mention

I really hope this is the place to put this because I need your perspective. Please keep in mind I'm autistic so this post may come across as harsh, but I don't mean to be rude.

I'm a pretty active person: I swim, I play tennis, I'm working while studying. My partner, on the other hand, lacks motivation to do pretty much anything. They study to just pass, don't have any interests or hobbies besides social media doomscrolling and twitter arguments. Like, 18 hours of screen time a day type of situation.

We recently got out of our respective dorms and moved in together, but one consistent pattern that just baffles me is the fact that they don't want to do anything without me. They're going to the store? They want me to come. They're planning to cook? They want me to stand in the kitchen and keep them company. They're reading twitter threads? They want me to scroll with them.

Now this could be endearing if it wasn't so imposed upon me. Whenever they have an urge to do something, they want me to drop whatever I'm doing and do it with them. When I'm at practice they text me continuously if I can come home faster because they're bored. I'm an independent person – always have been – and the fact that a grown adult not only doesn't have a life outside of their phone, but also needs the physical presence of another person to do bare minimum tasks is just beyond me.

Today I was going to swim practice and as I was leaving my partner kept asking me if I can 'skip practice and stay in with them', and when I asked why they'd say 'just because' and keep nagging me about it. I got mad and admittedly reacted out of anger, saying that they needed to grow up and I can't throw away my life to be a crutch for their laziness, and went to practice. It was a mean thing to say, and I'm going to apologize as soon as I come home. All of practice I couldn't focus because I feel so guilty, and I felt scared that they might hurt themselves (they had a history of self-harm before we met and they stopped but at times I feel they might resort back to it if they're upset enough). But am I really overreacting to being uncomfortable? Why is my partner like this?

Hi!! I've hosted a fair share of WG-castings and I want to share some tips on how to get your message replied to:

• Always keep in mind that you're (almost always) talking to your peers, not landlords or companies. The people posting the ad are the people you'll live with, they're probably your age. Don't be too formal or corporate-speakish. For the love of god, don't start messages with 'Dear Sir/Madam'. Imagine you're reaching out to your future classmates.
• Don't share official documents. The amount of times people have sent personal data in response to a room ad is one too many. People on wg-gesucht aren't supposed to see your passport, bank info, and insurance, that's for the STW/landlord to handle. An exception would be if someone is a main tenant (Hauptmieter) and your legal stuff goes through them. But even in that case, don't send your sensitive info to random strangers!!
• Be specific about your personality and interests. Almost all respondents mention that they like to talk with people, respect others' space, are clean, etc. That's good to mention, but that's the bare minimum for a person living in a shared flat, and it won't make your message memorable. Include your interests, your hobbies, what fandoms you're in, and what sports you play. Most of the time your future wg-neighbors will see that and go "hey, I like that thing too!" and they'll be more keen to invite or accept you.
• Have a profile picture. Most people on wg-gesucht have a photo of themselves as their profile pic. Even if you're not comfortable with showing your face, a candid is still nice, or a photo of your pet/favorite character. If you leave the pfp blank, there's a high chances your message won't be opened.
• Mention previous shared flat experience. If you don't have any that's totally okay, but if you do, don't forget to talk about it.
• Mention your background or countries you've in lived before. A lot of wg's are international, and appreciate a diversity of different cultures.
• Photos are a plus. Maybe this is my personal preference, but I love it when candidates send pics, of themselves or their pets or cool places they've been to. It, again, makes your message more memorable.

This isn't by any means a comprehensive list or a must for success, but I hope it can help someone. Good luck out there!

I'm a POC international student living in Europe, and I share a house with several other people. They're all locals, and I have a good relationship with all of them except for one, who was always unpleasant to live with: nosy, loud, messy. One time we were all hanging out and she felt comfortable expressing very sus views about immigration right in front of me, which were quickly shut down by my other roommates.

Right now I'm not at the house but I learned that she went on a racist and xenophobic tangent to one of my roommates, saying that she 'hates sharing the house with a foreigner, hates the smell of my food, and hopes that I move soon because she doesn't want to speak in any other language besides her own in her own home'.

I've been crying for hours upon learning this, and I just feel so mad and helpless. It's so vile and I never want to be under the same roof as a racist in my whole life but I can't afford my own place and it'd be too much of a hassle to move to another shared student apartment because I own so many things. But I honestly might as well because if this isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is. I don't feel safe with a person who hates my very existence.

On the day I move I want to tell it straight to her face that I hate her and that she's a disgusting person I'm glad I'll never have to see again.

Looking at this sub reminds me of my grandma. She passed away in 2023, and she was a bird lover who always had food for the local pigeons on her porch, gave them names, and taught me to not fear them when they landed on my hands. Growing up I'd see them often and feed them with her, and now every time I see a pigeon up close I think of her. I think she'd love this sub if she saw it.

Our team began to communicate over Webex and continuously I've been having issues with me sending messages to be hit with 'unable to send'. This is super stressful because I work in a super high pace environment with many users at once, and I can't sit and keep an eye on messages to make sure they actually get sent when I send them. This is just ridiculous, and I can't believe how many times it's happened already. Why is this happening?

Curious for those who are 1V and have interacted closely with 4V and vice versa. What are your ideas and impressions? Theory-based ideas also welcome.

I used to travel twice a year as a kid and I remember how comfortable and pleasant transcontinental (and even regional) flights were. The flight attendants would give you some hard candies, you'd always get fed and have a selection of drinks to choose from, I'd get some toys and coloring books (because I was a kid). We flew economy for the most part, but I think the positive impression was omnipresent regardless of the class we were in.

Then from 2015 to 2022 I didn't fly at all. Once I started flying again I noticed that the process was just plain shitty. Paying for selecting a seat (I was mind boggled when I saw that for the first time, like I never thought that could've even been an option), no food or drinks at all or you have to pay extra for it, you have to pay if your bag isn't some random size down to the millimeter, constantly pay, pay, pay. It's not just the shitty lowcost airlines that are like that, though I hate them the most (they're not even a low cost), even Lufthansa makes you pay for seat selection now, and they're a flag carrier!

I don't know if it's a regional thing (I lived in the US as a kid and now I live in Europe), if airlines always sucked and I enjoyed them just because I was a kid, post-COVID complications, or the fact that once lowcosters entered the market every airline realized that people were willing to pay for horrific conditions and service and years later the price and quality difference between Ryanair and Delta isn't that big anymore. They're both expensive and low quality.

It deters me from air travel altogether but unfortunately no way to reach the US from Europe otherwise. Booking air tickets now feels so... disgusting? I'm paying hundreds of dollars for a service but I feel like I'm haggling at a market with some cheapskate.

I've been on this planet for two and a half decades and for the entire duration of that I think I drank maybe one glass of water per week on average. I come from a country where drinking tea is a big part of the culture but I very rarely drank plain water. Last week my doctor asked me if I was drinking enough water and I asked how much that would be, she said two liters daily....

I'm trying to do that now but I'm struggling because it's just so new to me. I don't like the taste of water but I do have to say I feel more energized. Wild that I just learned about this though.

I've been wearing Converse and Doc Martens my entire life, but I feel I'm not doing my future self any favors with that. Are there any shoes that look similar (an alternative style), and preferrably with a thicker sole? I've been wearing ONLY platform shoes for like 10 years now and I think I would have a hard time switching to a thin sole immediately

I'm studying abroad AND in an LDR and this made me despite absolutely everything about traveling. When I was younger it was nice to take a trip somewhere, listen to cool music and go sightseeing. I never went too far from my home city so it was a nice way to leave the comfort zone but not yeet yourself out of it. Also I traveled maybe once or twice a year.

Now though, I travel every couple of months to see my partner and family and friends and while it's usually not that long of a journey I just fucking hate everything about it. I'm a 'routines' person, I absolutely abhor being snatched out of my everyday life, which is solitary and some might say even boring, but I like it.

Navigating logistics, disgustingly trashy airlines (at one point ryanair dumped the prices so low it drove out competition and now the only direct flight that exists is a 100 eur 'lowcost' ryanair flight), packing, getting used to the change of environment, not being able to eat and sleep whenever you want, just really really sucks. I'm waiting for graduation and to start working just so that I literally HAVE to stay in one place nearly all year. Traveled enough for years ahead to be honest.

I just booked a flight back home and I feel mostly dread of the journey. I'm glad to see my loved ones, but that's a feeling I'm going to have once I'm done with the journey. I'm looking at the calendar with anxiety as I see the date approach.

I'm writing my master thesis and a friend of mine who already finished hers has half-page long acknowledgements section where she very eloquently and warmly expresses gratitude to her supervisors and loved ones. I'm thinking whether I should do the same? I think the worst part of this would be if I don't do a good job and then I would feel pretty cringe about it