u/vaporpup

edit: finally in the hospital. im alone. been in the waiting room 3 hrs. left my goddamn nicotine vape in the uber.

finally told my parents. begging partner to take me to detox today. first and hopefully last. dont know what i need to take to the hospital, but im asking for psych after i go thru ER. no job or insurance so its scary. i genuinely hope he'll actually take me, genuinely hope that i will be gucci after. about to have another 375 of evans before i go in. chairs 🪑

There is this gif I used to see CONSTANTLY of a husky(pretty sure) on it's back, paws in the air, shaking a toy between it's paws. I CANNOT for the life of me find it.

before i was a CA i was 87lbs and actively wasting away. no one cared. actively homeless, nope who gives a fuck. start drinking, a year later someone visits me after 100+lbs of weight gain(thx handle of whiskey a night). i tell them almost DAILY leading up to it "im big now. please dont mention it. i know its a problem". mention to others, who call me crazy, "i know shes gonna bully me about it".

my mother, stretching xl pants she bought me out wide enough for an elephant: "idk if these will fit you...." asks "what shoes do you have on?" oh my bfs houseshoes bc theyre comfy. an excuse to get my dogs out so she can exclaim how fat my feet are even.

she also convinced me to go home with her for a few weeks, so my health-freak father will probably not leave me alone about how big i am. dementia grandma will probably mention it nonstop.

i've always been the "skinny" kid in everyones eyes- and it was never a problem when my organs were eating themselves. they made fun of me then with no shame. now its "out of concern". mf I WEIGH THE SAME AS YOU!!

im not functional and never have been!! so i found a fellow POS to shack up with 10+hrs from home. now my family is visiting me, i have to help them drive all the way back(thank god for amphetamines- but whoops- with the stress of this seems like ive ran out!). gotta now convince my folks that the shakes that start up in hour 6 since a bathroom break are just because im fat now or smth idk(god, fuck alcohol calories).

wont get a chance to see them for another 5 years and who knows if i'll be around then. gunna make the best of it and thank the lord they'll assume im actually doing coke in the bathroom!!

from the ages of 20-25 i did nothing but hard fucking drugs. full time. lived in a vehicle, trafficked, but man was i trucking. one week: several grams of ketamine. the next: molly, acid, DMT, whippits, who cares. whatever i had on hand.

when you do a lot of drugs you can avoid dependence. am i an addict? yes. was i addicted to anything but my prescription stimulants? fuck no. drank maybe twice in that time. the drugs kept me well under 100lbs, so each time really sucked and i didn't go back often.

eventually i got a home and stopped moving and partying. tried working- didn't work out. so what is there to do with my time? i have so much of it after all. drinking came naturally at that point. and so did 100+lbs, so did DT, so did the alarms every 6 hours that would wake me up to take a few shots, so did the hospital visits because i kept doing dumb clumsy shit to hurt myself(never got hurt in my nearly 30yrs until i started drinking. suddenly 5 broken bones, 70 stitches, and multiple fractures i'll feel for life. all in 18mos time).

ive never been able to say no. thats never bitten me in the ass remotely as bad. every time i pour one i end up pretty okay with that- but man do i miss being a dumb junkie. at least taking some weird research chemical was interesting and novel. now i'm just fat and old and if i dont take my thrice daily shot i'll start to seize and really freak out the whole neighborhood. not to mention the stretchmarks where i didnt know they could be and the fact i only have one pair of clothes that fit and that every morning i wake up with some weird shame that prevents me from visiting any of the places i went to the night before if i happen to remember them.

i dont want to stop and i probably wont but god fucking damn do i wish i was more concerned about my next line instead of running out of a handle in 2 hours.

I have several elderly people in my family. I am the youngest person in the family and the most computer literate Therefore, it falls on me to handle their computer woes. I do not live near my family, however, I do have the opportunity to visit soon, and I would like to take advantage of that to manage their technological issues they've been complaining about recently.

for reference these people are 80+. At least one has Alzheimer's and several are on that way. One of them is complaining that she cannot get texts, voicemails, or emails because her accounts have been hacked. I believe she may have just read an email that said her accounts were hacked, believed that was the case, and shut everything down in response. another I believe has fallen prey of phishing scams that have gained access to her email multiple times. She's also prone to donating to predatory voter donation scams, however, I don't think that that's within my abilities to fix sadly as I don't have POA. I do, however, have permission to fix the "email" problems the next time I am in town and would like to set up some sort of firewall to do so.

I already plan on making them new emails and securely transferring any and all accounts over to the new email, which both their children and I will have access to to check on occasionally and ensure that no email links are being clicked or unknown accounts signed up for. However, I am looking for something that will prevent them from accessing anything that will put them at risk in the meantime. since I also have to fix their cars and handle a bunch of doctor things while I'm there, I would prefer something that makes this a lot easier on me than putting up a ton of parental controls and such manually.

Is there any service that makes this easier on the family members of compromised individuals? Or is there a checklist or guide that I can use to save time and mental energy in securing their online health?

My income is next to zero and they're on low income SSI/retirement/disability, but I may be able to convince their children to chip in if necessary.