u/4ngelicbrat

my life would be the opposite of what it is now if only the chemicals in my brain were slightly different. my personality is definitely the single biggest reason why i havent been successful romantically or socially. people ramble on and on about how they like shy quiet girls yet reality doesnt reflect this at all. shyness has been absolutely nothing but a handicap for me. i fear that even if i did get with someone they’d probably die from boredom, resurrect and then leave me for a girl who is more outgoing. and the worst part is that i can fix literally everything else about myself except this

I’ve been in therapy twice. taken public speech classes. i currently work as a saleswoman. i am doing everything i can to “put myself out there” and still cant stop being fucking shy. i dont know what else to do anymore. people dont realize how debilitating shyness is, i feel so trapped knowing that i have everything i need to succeed but cant simply because i lack the ability to open my mouth.

I think that using platforms like x and instagram reels, especially during my formative years, has genuinely destroyed the way I see myself and the world. seeing how otherwise completely normal people can say things that are horrifically racist and oftentimes even violent totally casually is actually very scary. i work with pretty affluent white people (of all races really) for my job and these days I feel intense fear and disgust towards myself when I have to interact with them because I don’t know if they are secretly one of “those people”. I literally feel like I’m an ogre or not even human when I’m around them, like whatever was left of my self esteem is gone literally just because of my skin color. i want to do a genuine social media cleanse, but I doubt it would help because the damage has already been done. the people on those sites are just the ones dedicated enough to voice their opinions. imagine how the average person actually feels?

i really hate the push to call women “male centered” for expressing a desire for love. im sure this happens to men to some extent as well.

Wanting to be perceived as attractive to men does not make you male centered

Being frustrated with your lack of romantic success is not male centered

Wanting to have a partner is not male centered

There is literally nothing wrong with any of these things.

i’m very feminist & strongly agree that women should have a sense of self worth outside of male attention but wanting a partner is very normal & human, and it’s unfair to shame people for this.

my favorite perfume has always been killiab angels share. the price point is….suboptimal so ive always just had to resort to trying samples and just smelling it whenever i see it in a store. however, bath and body works came out with a dupe for it a while ago. i bought jt, used it, and eventually grew tired of it. i didnt dislike it, but it was just not for me. I recently smelled angels share again, and it no longer hit the same. It just was way too similar to the dupe and now i wish i had never gotten the dupe because i don’t like the real thing anymore. has this ever happened to any of you?

in most fragrance communities online, when trying to promote or persuade others to try a perfume, they use getting “compliments” as a main selling point, as if the quality of a fragrance is determined by how many compliments from strangers it gets you. Hot take, if I am going about my day and someone compliments my perfume, and they’re not within arms reach of me, I would be mortified. It either means they have a very keen sense of smell, or I sprayed too much. The most likely scenario is that for every one person who thinks you smell nice and compliments you, there are multiple others who are irritated but are not saying anything out of politeness. I collect & wear perform for my own personal enjoyment. not to turn myself into a scent bomb. and if someone is close to me and gets a whiff and compliments, that’s fine, but wearing so much that people far away from you can smell is obnoxious, even if it gets you compliments & should be discouraged by more people in the fragrance community.

I’ll soon be able to do everything ive ever wanted to with my hair. platinum blonde, pastels, neon colors, you name it, with minimal damage

I have well fitting clothes ranging from small to large in my closet. I went thrifting today, and had items ranging from size 6 to size 14 fit me snugly. Vanity sizing makes trying to get new clothes hellish and has totally distorted my view of my body, like am I slim, chubby, or fat? brands, make up your minds please.