u/4ngelicbrat

these days I don’t feel as bad about being FA when I remember that the kind of partner I am looking for does not exist in real life. i used to have very fantastical ideas about love due to my only exposure to romance being fictional media. irl, i have come to learn that people are mostly shit and the dating pool by extension, is mostly shit. the chances of finding someone I truly love & who truly loves me back are slim, so im content with being with someone who I’m simply compatible with and can tolerate. I don’t want to be in love anymore I just don’t want to be alone

anyone have tips on developing personal style? i feel like im very wishy washy with my fashion sense and as i mature i really want to focus on curating style that feels authentically me - but i can’t seem to figure out “my thing”! one day i want to be a minimalist and the next day i want to be over the top. one day I’ll be into alternative looks and the next day I’ll decide i like vintage. one day I’ll decide i want to go be hyperfeminine and the next, im into streetwear. Its resulted in my wardrobe being all over the place as a result. i always envy people who know what their “thing” is visually, and stick to it faithfully. like people who dress according to different subcultures, eras, etc. I’m all for experimentation, but i want to have my own signature style i can always fall back on, but i have no idea how i can develop it

everyone knows the worst aspect of being alone is the loneliness but does anyone ever talk about how utterly embarrassing it is? my birthday comes up soon and am blanking on ideas because I don’t even have anyone i could invite. everyone says to just get comfortable doing things alone but the thing is that some certain things are literally designed to be enjoyed with other people which makes being alone all the more humiliating.

i could be content with never finding anyone if i simply didnt want to find anyone, but how? becoming an asexual would be so freeing for someone who’s fa because they just wouldn’t care anymore. but unfortunately, basically nothing has been able to deter me from desiring a relationship. being able to be attracted to people when theres next to no chance of that attraction leading to anything is beyond frustrating. i even feel guilty and ashamed when i find people attractive because i know they’re off limits.

what is it about some people, especially other women, that causes them to never be single for long? sometimes it feels like when they lose one partner, they can immediately spawn another one out of thin air. where do they meet these people, and what are they doing differently? maybe it’s not ideal but to me having a new partner every business day is preferable to being eternally single.

basically invisible everywhere. never the pretty girl next door or the main love interest in a movie; seeing girls of other races find boyfriends easily in hs and the only ones who couldn’t looked like me (and then seeing women 15+ years my senior still single and not for lack of trying). being no one’s “type”. learning that pursuing crushes or even having them is futile because the chances of them being attracted to you are near 0 (likely even in the negatives - they might even be actively repulsed). knowing that not even men who look exactly like me are interested - all unfixable btw. it’s so hopeless - all the self improvement I do will amount to nothing because of something I have no control over

i dont know if any other women can relate but the only times a man has expressed interest, he has always been just too old. not just “older than i would like ideally” but literally so old as to not even be a viable option. i want to be pursued by men my age but they all seem either uninterested, or already taken. how do I attract them?

i was seriously (and stupidly) looking into becoming a sugar baby since geriatrics are the only ones who seem even somewhat interested anyways. i am so desperate but it’s like - why can’t i just find someone normally. if i was a normal girl i could easily get a normal guy. i wouldn’t even have to worry about my “confidence” or “loving myself first”. I recently went out with an acquaintance who is beautiful and saw firsthand how a relationship starts organically: a guy started chatting with her, got her number (which she subsequently blocked) and then invited her to an event. this is probably not even a rare experience for her, but I would never get over it if it happened to me even once.

i am almost 20 and have never had a boyfriend or so much has had a guy express romantic interest. at this stage in my life, i crave male attention so badly - but i feel completely invisible and I can’t figure out why! I am not overweight, i clean up very nicely, dont have a mean face, and strangers are nice to me. i hear other young women talk about frequently being approached, being hit on, flirted with, and generally being inundated with attention as if they are universal experiences, but i just can not relate at all and it makes me feel so alien. what is it that other women are doing to get men to express interest in them?

whenever i do something wrong or receive criticism or just in general hear things i don’t want to hear, no matter how insignificant, i dwell on them for days.

i really think i could come to love anyone with enough time.

An extrovert will see and spend time with you everyday, share the most intimate details of their lives with you, arrange hangouts, the whole nine yards, and you will think a genuine friendship is forming, but on their end, they just see you as an acquaintance at best. I know it’s not their fault because they’re just like that with everyone,but it is so frustrating and misleading. for this reason, I avoid getting into “friendships” with people who are extremely extroverted. friend crushes are definitely real and finding out your friend doesn’t really see you as a friend hurts worse than heartbreak.