u/Acceptable_Hall8567

Am I the only one that gets frustrated when guys get annoyed when I put too much effort into my appearance but annoyed when I don't?

First of all, I want to clarify that I am not accusing anyone in particular. I know some of you reading this don't do that but I also know that some of you do.

I have examples. First of all, my brother. Today I was planning on how to style my hair and he asked me, "why does it matter so much?" It matters because I want to look good. I don't give a flying frog about what people at the grocery store think. I just want to look in the mirror and think "I'm so cute." But when I wear something that's even slightly different from everyone else, he gives me a once over and says without hesitation, "you're seriously going to wear that to school. Or, when my mom made an appointment for me to get my nose pierced. He went "oh my god, no! PLEASE don't get your nose pierced." When I asked why not, he dead ass went "My friends are going to think I'm so weird." I didn't realize your friends were going to be like "oh my god [brother's name] is so weird! His sister has a NOSE RING."

Or my dad. He always asks me why I take so long in the shower as if he has to shave his legs, shave his pits, shampoo his super thick hair twice over (I put the shampoo in, then comb it through my hair, then scrunch it around, then rinse it out, and my showerhead doesn't come out of the wall), get out, dry off, put three different products in his hair, lotion on his skin, three types of lotion on his face (acne cream, moisturizer, SPF lotion, blow dry his hair and iron it just so it would look even a little bit presentable. But then when I wear a sweater to a family reunion, he goes "can't you wear something a little nicer?"

Or my boyfriend. He constantly says things like "you don't need makeup" or "I like you better with messy hair" (I wear makeup and style my hair to look how I want, not how HE wants) but then I wore a headband with little animal ears (I'm not a furry or a therian, I just thought they were cute (no hate to furries/therians! Do your thing!)) and he started saying things like "NO! Please don't wear that!" And "if you wear that thing you are putting my dignity at stake" and "I can't see how you thought those were actually cute" (he said all of this word for word. I broke up with him.)

Message to the guys (and girls to some extent): I don't dress up for you. I don't wear makeup for you. I don't style my hair for you. I do it for me. Because I want to look good, for MYSELF. If you can't get behind that, then buzz off.