u/AccomplishedSlice923

I’ll go first, for me it was I spent a good part of my life chasing pleasure and doing whatever felt good in the moment. At the time, I thought I was enjoying life, but eventually I realized how empty it was. The temporary highs weren’t worth what I was losing in the long run , my time, discipline, peace of mind, and sense of direction. I had to experience it myself to understand that a life built around constant pleasure isn’t necessarily a life that’s actually fulfilling.

I’m asking because there are things we grow up seeing so often that we don’t really stop and question them. Maybe it’s parents comparing you with other kids, relatives asking very personal questions, the pressure around marriage and careers, the whole “what will people say?” mindset, or something completely different.

It doesn’t have to be a huge issue. Even something you’ve experienced personally and thought was unnecessarily stressful, annoying, or unfair.
What’s one thing you’d change if you could?

Btw I’m not talking about changing everything about Sri Lankan culture. Cuz obviously we have good things too.

I was thinking about how different parenting might be now compared to what a lot of our parents experienced growing up.
For a long time, especially in Sri Lankan families, being a good parent seemed to mean making sure your child studied hard, got good results, behaved properly and eventually got a “good” job. If you were having a bad day or feeling stressed, you were often expected to just get on with it. Things like anxiety, depression, needing personal space, or even wanting to talk about your feelings weren’t really things most families openly discussed.

I think that’s slowly changing. You see more parents who are willing to listen to their kids, take their stress seriously, let them choose careers they actually want, or understand that getting bad results doesn’t mean their whole future is ruined. Even something as simple as a parent asking “Are you okay?” and actually listening to the answer can make a huge difference in my pov.

But at the same time, I still hear things like “What do you have to be stressed about?”, “others go through worse”, “Stop overthinking”, or “Just focus on your studies.” Sometimes parents aren’t trying to be cruel at all. They genuinely think they’re helping because that’s how they were taught to deal with problems themselves.
And I wonder if that’s where the biggest difference is between generations. Maybe our parents weren’t necessarily less caring. They just weren’t taught how to show it emotionally.

For those of you who grew up with Sri Lankan parents, what has your experience been?
And if you’re a parent yourself, have you found yourself trying to do things differently from how you were raised?

I’m especially interested in whether having parents who actually listen and understand your emotions made a difference to the person you became.

There are so many things you hear about working life here that eventually you stop questioning them. Staying at the office late because the boss is still there. Getting a WhatsApp message from your manager when you’re already in bed and feeling like you have to reply. Being afraid to take leave because you don’t want everyone thinking you’re lazy. Coming to work sick because there’s nobody to cover you. Working on weekends even though you’re technically off. Or being given more and more work because you managed to finish everything the last time.
I believe sometimes it’s not even the workload itself. It’s the attitude around it in Sri Lanka . Someone who leaves on time can be seen as less dedicated than someone who stays until 8 or 9. Saying “I can’t do that today” can feel risky. People might put up with a terrible manager, constant stress or a completely unreasonable schedule because they need the salary and don’t really have the option of walking away.

Of course, not every Sri Lankan workplace is like this. There are companies and managers who respect people’s time, give proper leave, understand that employees have lives outside work, and actually care about keeping people from burning out.
But for those who have experienced the other side, what’s something you’ve personally seen that made you think, “Why are we just accepting this?”
Could be anything from unpaid overtime and unrealistic deadlines to workplace gossip, toxic managers, being contacted after hours, leave problems, office politics, or simply having no separation between work and your personal life.
And has any of this actually affected you outside work your sleep, relationships, mood, health, or the amount of time you have for yourself?

I’ve been wondering how long people can actually stay away from social media these days. It’s become such a normal part of life that we use it for almost everything like talking to people, checking the news, seeing what’s happening around us, keeping up with friends, finding stuff to watch, even getting random information.

I’ve taken breaks before and the weird part is that sometimes i don’t even realize how often i was checking my phone until i stopped. You open your phone out of habit, then remember there’s nothing to check. At the same time, I can understand why people don’t want to completely disappear either. You can miss messages, news, events, or just feel like you’re out of the loop.

For those who’ve actually taken a proper break, what made you do it? How long did you last, and did you notice any difference in your mood, sleep, concentration or just your day-to-day life?
And did you end up going back to social media exactly the same way afterwards, or did the break change how you use it now?

I feel like the older you get, the more your idea of a good friend changes. When you’re younger, it’s mostly about having fun together, talking all the time, going out, having the same interests, etc. But at some point, things like having someone who genuinely listens, respects your boundaries, doesn’t compete with you, remembers the little things, who supports you to grow and be a better person or is still there even when you haven’t spoken in a while start to mean a lot more.

Sometimes you also realize that having a few people you can actually be yourself around feels much better than having a huge group. Also I think we should realize and remind ourselves that how much the people around us can rub off on us. A good friend can push you when you’re stuck, believe in you when you don’t really believe in yourself, be there when life is going badly, or make a horrible day feel a bit better. Sometimes you end up picking up their habits, the way they think, the things they care about, even their confidence without really noticing it.
But I’ve also seen the opposite happen. Being around people who constantly put you down, make everything a competition, pressure you into drinking or doing things you don’t want to do, make fun of your goals, or always leave you feeling bad about yourself can slowly change you too. Sometimes you start acting differently just to fit in, and you don’t even realize how much you’ve changed until you get some distance from those people.

And I think friendships can affect things like studies, work, relationships, confidence and even the way you see yourself. Having one person who genuinely wants the best for you can make a huge difference, while the wrong group can pull you in a completely different direction.

Has the way you look at friendships changed as you’ve gotten older? What do you appreciate in your friends now that you probably wouldn’t have thought much about a few years ago?

මේ ගැන මම කාලයක් තිස්සේ ලියන්න ඕන කියලා හිතාගෙන හිටියා.
මම r/PsychSL හදලා දැන් මාස 3ක් විතර වෙනවා. ඒක හදන්න මට තිබුණේ හරිම සරල අදහසක්. ශ්‍රී ලාංකිකයන්ට මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය, මනෝවිද්‍යාව, උපදේශනය, පෞද්ගලික ගැටලු ගැන කතා කරන්න, උදව් ඉල්ලන්න, තමන්ගේ අත්දැකීම් බෙදාගන්න, ප්‍රශ්න අහන්න, නැත්නම් වෙන කොහෙවත් කියන්න පහසු නැති දෙයක් හරි කියන්න පුළුවන් තැනක් හදන්නයි මට ඕන වුණේ.
ඒක ටික කාලයක් කරගෙන යද්දි මට එක දෙයක් දිගින් දිගටම පේන්න පටන් ගත්තා. ඒක මට ඇත්තටම ටිකක් කරදර කරන දෙයක්.
මිනිස්සු posts දානවා. උදව් ඉල්ලනවා. තමන්ගේ දේවල් ගැන කතා කරනවා. හැබැයි ඒ වගේම ගොඩක් අය තමන් දාපු posts delete කරනවා. සමහර posts වලට කිසිම interaction එකක්වත් නැති තරම්.
සමහර වෙලාවට කෙනෙක් තමන්ට ගොඩක් පෞද්ගලික දෙයක් ලියනවා. ඒ post එක දාන්න කලින් ඔහු හෝ ඇය ගොඩක් වෙලා ඒ ගැන හිතලා ඇති කියලා පේනවා. ඊට පස්සේ ඒක අතුරුදහන් වෙනවා.
ඒක විතරක් නෙවෙයි. කෙනෙක්ට නිකන් දවස නරක ගිය එකක්, තනිකමක් දැනෙන එකක් වගේ පොඩි දෙයක් ගැනවත් කතා කරන්න post එකක් දාලා, හරි interaction එකක්වත් ලැබෙන්න කලින් ඒක delete කරන අවස්ථා තියෙනවා.
(මම මේ post එක type කරන අතරෙත් මේකම සිද්ධ වුණා. ඒ නිසා ඔව්, මේක ටිකක් alarming කියලා මට හිතෙනවා.)
ඉතින් මම මගෙන්ම අහනවා — ඇයි?
Western communities ගොඩක් දිහා බලද්දි, මට පේන්නේ මිනිස්සු සාමාන්‍යයෙන් “මම therapist කෙනෙක්ව හම්බවෙනවා”, “මම depression එකක් එක්ක struggle කරනවා”, “මට anxiety ගැන උදව් ඕන”, නැත්නම් තමන් මේ වෙලාවේ මුහුණ දෙන දෙයක් ගැන විවෘතව කතා කරන්න ටිකක් comfortable වගේ.
ඇත්තටම Western countries වලත් stigma නැතුවාම නෙවෙයි. හැමෝම මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය ගැන සම්පූර්ණයෙන්ම open නෑ. හැබැයි ඔවුන් ඒ ගැන කතා කරන විදිහ සහ අපි ඒ ගැන කතා කරන විදිහ අතර සමහර වෙලාවට ලොකු වෙනසක් තියෙනවා වගේ දැනෙනවා.
ඒ වගේම පැහැදිලිව කියන්න ඕන — මේක r/PsychSL එක ඉක්මනට grow වෙන්නේ නැති එක ගැන මගේ disappointment එකක්වත්, වෙන Sri Lankan subreddits වලට වඩා activity අඩුයි කියන complaint එකක්වත් නෙවෙයි.
මම කතා කරන්නේ r/PsychSL එකට වඩා ගොඩක් ලොකු දෙයක් ගැන.
මම නිතරම main Sri Lanka subreddit එකේ psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists ගැන අහන posts දකිනවා. Anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship problems, loneliness, family problems වගේ විවිධ දේවල් ගැන උදව් ඉල්ලන අය ඉන්නවා.
ඒ කියන්නේ මේ දේවල් ගැන කතා කරන්න ඕන මිනිස්සු පැහැදිලිවම ඉන්නවා.
එහෙනම් ඇයි ඇත්තටම ඒ ගැන කතා කරන්න තවමත් මෙච්චර අමාරු?
මට විශේෂයෙන්ම අමුතු දෙයක් විදිහට පේන්නේ Reddit කියන්නේ ඒ දේවල් ගැන කතා කරන්න තියෙන පහසුම තැන්වලින් එකක් වීම.
ඔයාට anonymous වෙන්න පුළුවන්. ඔයාගේ මූණ පෙන්නන්න ඕන නෑ. ගොඩක් වෙලාවට ඔයාගේ ඇත්ත නමවත් කවුරුත් දන්නේ නෑ.
එහෙම වෙලත් මිනිස්සු judge කරයි කියලා බයයි.
“මම දුර්වලයි කියලා හිතයි.”
“මම පිස්සෙක් කියලා හිතයි.”
“මම attention ගන්න හදනවා කියලා හිතයි.”
“කවුරුහරි මාව අඳුරගනීද දන්නේ නෑ.”
එහෙම නැත්නම් කෙනෙක් “යාච්ඤා කරන්න”, “ඔයා ඕනවට වඩා හිතනවා”, “අනිත් මිනිස්සුන්ට මීට වඩා ලොකු ප්‍රශ්න තියෙනවා, ඒ නිසා grateful වෙන්න”, “ඕක අමතක කරලා ඉස්සරහට යන්න” වගේ දෙයක් කියයි කියලා බය වෙන්න පුළුවන්.
මට හිතෙන්නේ මේකෙන් ශ්‍රී ලංකාවේ අපි තවමත් මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය දිහා බලන විදිහ ගැන ගොඩක් දේවල් කියවෙනවා.
ශාරීරික සෞඛ්‍යය ගැන කතා කරන්න අපි දැන් ගොඩක් comfortable.
පපුව රිදෙනවා නම් කෙනෙක්ට කියන්න පුළුවන්.
කකුල කැඩිලා නම් doctor කෙනෙක් ළඟට යනවා.
බඩේ ප්‍රශ්නයක් නම් “මම අසනීපෙන් ඉන්නේ” කියලා කියන්න පුළුවන්.
හැබැයි** **ප්‍රශ්නය තියෙන්නේ මනස ඇතුළේ නම්, එකපාරටම මොකක්දෝ hesitation එකක් එනවා.
උදව් ඉල්ලන්න කලින්ම මිනිස්සු හිතන්නේ අනිත් අය තමන් ගැන මොනවා හිතයිද කියලා.
මට හිතෙන්නේ අපි stigma එක අපි තුළම මෙච්චර internalize කරගෙන තියෙනවා, අනිත් කෙනෙක් අපිව judge කරන්න අවස්ථාවක් ලැබෙන්නත් කලින් අපි අපිවම judge කරගන්නවා.
සමහරු මාස ගණනක් තිස්සේ ප්‍රශ්නයක් එක්ක struggle කරනවා. ඒත් තවමත් හිතනවා,
“මේක එච්චර serious නෑ.”
තවත් අය කෙනෙක් එක්ක කතා කරන්න ඕන වුණත් හිතනවා,
“අනිත් මිනිස්සුන්ට මීට වඩා ලොකු ප්‍රශ්න තියෙනවා.”
ඔයා උදව් ඉල්ලලා post එකක් ලියන්න පුළුවන්. ඒක ආයෙත් කියවන්න පුළුවන්. මිනිස්සු මොනවා කියයිද කියලා හිතන්න පුළුවන්. ඊට පස්සේ ඒක delete කරන්න පුළුවන්.
ඒ තමයි මට තේරුම් ගන්න අමාරුම කොටස.
Psychology undergraduate කෙනෙක් විදිහට මම හිතන්නේ මේක වෙන්නේ ඇයි කියලා මට දැනටමත් තේරුම් ගන්න පුළුවන්.
මිනිස්සු anonymous platform එකක වුණත් judge කරයි කියලා බයයි.
කවුරුහරි තමන්ව somehow අඳුරගනීද කියලා සමහරු බයයි.
සමහරු හැදී වැඩිලා තියෙන්නේ මේ වගේ දේවල් private තියාගන්න ඕන කියන අදහසත් එක්ක. විශේෂයෙන්ම family problems.
සමහරු තමන් දුර්වලයි, dramatic, crazy, attention seeking වගේ දෙයක් කියලා පේයි කියලා බයයි.
තවත් සමහරු කෙනෙක් serious දෙයක් ගැන කතා කළාම මොනවා කියන්නද කියලා දන්නේ නැති නිසා නිකන් post එක කියවලා යනවා.
(හොඳටම කියනවා නම්, මමත් ඒ තැන හිටපු කෙනෙක්.)
ඒ වගේම කෙනෙක් තමන්ගේ දේවල් open up කරලා කිසිම response එකක් නොලැබුණොත්, “කවුරුත් care කරන්නේ නෑ” කියලා හිතන්න පුළුවන්.
ඊට පස්සේ ඊළඟ කෙනා තමන්ගේ දේවල් ගැන post එකක් දාන්න තවත් බය වෙනවා.
මේ හැමදේම වෙන්නේ ඇයි කියලා මට තේරෙනවා.
හැබැයි මේක තමයි අපේ හැටි කියලා අපි ඒක පිළිගෙන ඉන්න ඕන කියලා මම හිතන්නේ නෑ.
මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය කියන්නේ මිනිස්සු තමන්ගේ හැඟීම් හංගගෙන ඉන්න තරම් නොවැදගත් දෙයක් නෙවෙයි.
හැමෝම එකපාරටම තමන්ගේ ජීවිතයේ හැමදේම share කරන්න පටන් ගන්න ඕන නෑ.
හැබැයි අවම වශයෙන් කෙනෙක්ට,
“මම හොඳින් නෑ.”
කියලා කියන්න පුළුවන් තරමටවත් මේ දේවල් පහසු කරන්න අපිට පුළුවන් වෙන්න ඕන.
ඒක කියපු ගමන්ම “ඇයි මම මේක කිව්වේ?” කියලා regret වෙන තැනකට ඒ කෙනාව තල්ලු නොකර.
ඒ වගේම මිනිස්සු එක රැයකින් mental health ගැන සම්පූර්ණයෙන්ම open වෙයි කියලා අපි බලාපොරොත්තු වෙන්නත් බෑ.
Stigma එක නැති වෙන්නේ subreddit එකක් හැදුවා කියලා විතරක් නෙවෙයි.
Culture, family, religion, education, social expectations, සහ අපි හැදී වැඩුණු විදිහ — මේ හැමදේම අපි මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය ගැන කොච්චර comfortable වෙලා කතා කරනවද කියන එකට බලපානවා.
හැබැයි කොහෙන්හරි පටන් ගන්න වෙනවා.
සමහරවිට ඒකේ එක කොටසක් තමයි මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය ගැන conversations සාමාන්‍ය දෙයක් බවට පත් කරන එක.
කෙනෙක් suicidal වුණාම විතරක් ඒ ගැන කතා කරන දෙයක් නොවෙන්න.
Diagnosed mental illness එකක් තියෙන කෙනෙක් ගැන විතරක් කතා කරන දෙයක් නොවෙන්න.
ඒක තමයි ඇත්තටම මට r/PsychSL වෙන්න ඕන වුණේ.
ශ්‍රී ලාංකිකයන්ට මේ වගේ දේවල් ගැන කතා කරන්න පුළුවන් තැනක්.
හැම දෙයක්ම හොඳින් තියෙනවා වගේ පෙන්වන්න ඕන නැති තැනක්.
ඇත්තටම මම සම්පූර්ණයෙන්ම හරි කියලා මම දන්නේ නෑ.
සමහරවිට මම මේක සම්පූර්ණයෙන්ම වැරදි විදිහට බලනවා වෙන්න පුළුවන්.
සමහරවිට මම නොදකින තවත් හේතු තියෙන්න පුළුවන්.
හැබැයි මම මේ ගැන කාලයක් තිස්සේ හිතනවා. ඒ නිසා ඇත්තටම වෙන ශ්‍රී ලාංකිකයන් මේ ගැන මොනවද හිතන්නේ කියලා දැනගන්න මට ඕන.
අපිට Reddit එකේ වෙන ඕනෑම දෙයක් ගැන openly කතා කරන්න පුළුවන් නම්, මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය කියන්නේ තවමත් අත තියන්න මිනිස්සු hesitate වෙන එකම දෙය වගේ දැනෙන්නේ ඇයි?
ශාරීරික අසනීපයක් ගැන post එකක් දාන්න දෙපාරක් හිතන්නේ නැති කෙනෙක්,
“මම හොඳින් නෑ.”
කියලා post එකක් දාන්න ගියාම ඒක මෙච්චර ලොකු දෙයක් වගේ දැනෙන්නේ ඇයි?
උදව් ඕන කියලා පේන මිනිස්සු ගොඩක් ඉන්නවා නම්, ඇත්තටම කතා කරන්න තැනක් ලැබුණාම ඔවුන් නිහඬ වෙන්නේ හෝ තමන් ලියපු දේ delete කරන්නේ ඇයි?
ඒක අපේ culture එකද?
Family එකද?
Judge කරයි කියන බයද?
නැත්නම් මම තවමත් නොදකින වෙන මොකක්හරි දෙයක්ද?
මම ඇත්තටම සම්පූර්ණයෙන්ම දන්නේ නෑ.
හැබැයි මම හිතන්නේ මේ ගැන කතා කරන්න වටිනවා.
මොකද මේක Reddit posts ගැනවත්, comments වැඩි කරගැනීම ගැනවත් නෙවෙයි.
සරල conversation එකක්.
කෙනෙක්ට තමන්ව කවුරුහරි අහගෙන ඉන්නවා කියලා දැනෙන එක.
කෙනෙක් අවසානයේ උදව් ඉල්ලන්න තීරණය කරන එක.
මේ දේවල් වලින් කෙනෙක්ගේ ජීවිතය ඇත්තටම වෙනස් වෙන්න පුළුවන්.
කෙනෙක්ගේ ජීවිතයක් බේරෙන්න පුළුවන්.
කෙනෙක්ගේ marriage එකක් බේරෙන්න පුළුවන්.
කෙනෙක් studies හෝ work අතහැරලා දාන්න යන එක නවත්තන්න පුළුවන්.
කෙනෙක් addiction එකක් එක්ක fight කරන විදිහ වෙනස් වෙන්න පුළුවන්.
නැත්නම් කෙනෙක්ගේ ජීවිතයේ ඇත්තටම නරක කාලයක් ටිකක් හරි පහසු වෙන්න පුළුවන්.
ඉතින් ඔයා මේක මෙච්චර දුර කියෙව්වා නම්, මේකත් නිකන් scroll කරලා යන්න එපා.
ඔයා මේ ගැන මොනවද හිතන්නේ කියලා කියන්න.
Comfortable නම් ඔයාගේ අත්දැකීමත් share කරන්න.
අපි මේ ගැන ඇත්තටම කතා කරමු.
ශ්‍රී ලංකාවේ අපි මානසික සෞඛ්‍යය දිහා බලන විදිහ වෙනස් කරන්න ඕන. 💜
.

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while.

It’s been around 3 months since I created r/PsychSL. The idea was pretty simple. I wanted there to be a place for Sri Lankans where you could talk about mental health, psychology, counseling, personal problems, ask for help, share your experiences, ask questions, or even just say something that you don’t feel comfortable saying anywhere else.

And after running it for a while, there’s something I keep noticing that kinda bothers me.
People do post , they ask for help they do talk about things. But there are also many people who delete their posts. Some posts get almost no interaction whatsoever. Sometimes someone will write something very personal and you can tell they probably spent a lot of time thinking about whether they should even post it, and then it just disappears. I mean even small issues like someone having a bad day or feeling lonely gets deleted before even an proper interaction (believe it or not this happened while I was typing this post, so yeah this is kinda alarming)

so I keep asking myself why ! When I look at a lot of Western communities online, it feels like people are generally much more comfortable saying things like “I’m seeing a therapist,” “I’ve been struggling with depression,” “I need help with anxiety,” or even just openly talking about something they’re going through. Of course, the West has its own stigma and it’s not like everyone there is completely comfortable with mental health either, but the difference in how openly people talk about it can sometimes feel pretty big.

And just to be clear, this isn’t me being disappointed that my subreddit isn’t growing fast enough or complaining that other Sri Lankan subreddits get more activity. That’s not what I’m talking about at all.
I’m talking about something much bigger than r/PsychSL.
I regularly see people in the main Sri Lanka subreddit asking for psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists, help with anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship problems, loneliness, family problems and all sorts of other things.
So clearly there are people who want to talk about these things.
But why is it still so difficult to actually talk about them?
What I find especially strange is that Reddit is probably one of the easiest places to do it. You can be anonymous. You don’t have to show your face. Most people don’t know even know your real name.
And still people are scared of being judged.
Maybe someone will think you’re weak,crazy,looking for attention,someone will recognize or someone will tell you to pray, stop thinking too much, be grateful because other people have it worse, or simply “get over it.”

And I think that says a lot about how we still see mental health in Sri Lanka.
We’ve become much more comfortable talking about physical health. If you have chest pain, you can tell someone. If you have a broken leg, you go to a doctor. If you have a stomach problem, you can say you’re sick.
But when the problem is in your mind, suddenly there is this weird hesitation.
People start thinking about how they’re going to be perceived before they even think about getting help.
I think we’ve internalized the stigma so much that we judge ourselves before anybody else even gets the chance to.
Some people be struggling with something for months and still think, “It’s not that serious.”
Others want to talk to someone but think, “Other people have bigger problems.”
You might write a post asking for help, read it again, think about what people might say, and delete it, that’s the part I don’t understand.

As a Psychology undergraduate I think I already know why this happens. People are scared of being judged, even on an anonymous platform. Some are scared someone they know might somehow recognize them. Some have grown up thinking these things should stay private, especially family problems. Some don’t want to be seen as weak, dramatic, crazy, attention seeking or whatever else. Some probably don’t know what to say when someone talks about something serious, so they just read and move on (well I have been in that place myself). And when someone does open up and gets almost no response, they might just think nobody cares, which makes the next person even less likely to post. I understand why all of this happens. But I don’t think we should just accept it as how things are. Mental health is too important and too sensitive for people to keep feeling like they have to hide it. We don’t need everyone to suddenly start sharing everything about themselves, but I think we can at least make it a little easier for someone to say “I’m not doing okay” without immediately regretting saying it.

And I also don’t think we should expect people to suddenly become completely open about mental health overnight. Stigma doesn’t disappear because we created a subreddit. Culture, family, religion, education, social expectations and the way people have been brought up all play a role in how comfortable they are talking about these things.
But somewhere we have to start.
And maybe part of that is simply making conversations about mental health feel normal.
Not only something you talk about when someone is suicidal or talk about when someone has a diagnosed mental illness.

That’s really what I wanted r/PsychSL to be. A place for Sri Lankans to talk about these things without feeling like they have to hide behind the idea that everything is fine.

I don’t fully know. Maybe I’m looking at this completely wrong. Maybe there are reasons I’m not seeing. But I’ve been thinking about this and I genuinely want to know what other Sri Lankans think about it. Because if we can openly talk about everything else on Reddit, why does mental health still feel like this one thing people hesitate to touch? Why can someone post about a physical illness without thinking twice, but posting “I’m not doing okay” suddenly feels like a huge deal? And why do so many people seem to want help, but when they actually have a place to talk, they stay quiet or delete what they wrote? Is it our culture? Family? The fear of being judged? Or is there something else going on that I’m missing? I really don’t fully know. But I think it’s worth talking about.

Because this isn’t just about Reddit posts or getting more comments. A simple conversation, a person feeling heard, or someone finally deciding to get help can genuinely change someone’s life. It could save a life, help someone through a marriage, stop someone from giving up on their studies or work, help someone deal with an addiction, or just make a really bad period in someone’s life a little easier. So if you’ve read this far, maybe don’t just scroll past this one too. Say what you think, share your experience if you’re comfortable. Let’s actually talk about this. We need to change how we look at mental health here 💜

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while.

It’s been around 3 months since I created r/PsychSL. The idea was pretty simple. I wanted there to be a place for Sri Lankans where you could talk about mental health, psychology, counseling, personal problems, ask for help, share your experiences, ask questions, or even just say something that you don’t feel comfortable saying anywhere else.

And after running it for a while, there’s something I keep noticing that kinda bothers me.
People do post , they ask for help they do talk about things. But there are also many people who delete their posts. Some posts get almost no interaction whatsoever. Sometimes someone will write something very personal and you can tell they probably spent a lot of time thinking about whether they should even post it, and then it just disappears. I mean even small issues like someone having a bad day or feeling lonely gets deleted before even an proper interaction (believe it or not this happened while I was typing this post, so yeah this is kinda alarming)

so I keep asking myself why ! When I look at a lot of Western communities online, it feels like people are generally much more comfortable saying things like “I’m seeing a therapist,” “I’ve been struggling with depression,” “I need help with anxiety,” or even just openly talking about something they’re going through. Of course, the West has its own stigma and it’s not like everyone there is completely comfortable with mental health either, but the difference in how openly people talk about it can sometimes feel pretty big.

And just to be clear, this isn’t me being disappointed that my subreddit isn’t growing fast enough or complaining that other Sri Lankan subreddits get more activity. That’s not what I’m talking about at all.
I’m talking about something much bigger than r/PsychSL.
I regularly see people in the main Sri Lanka subreddit asking for psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists, help with anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship problems, loneliness, family problems and all sorts of other things.
So clearly there are people who want to talk about these things.
But why is it still so difficult to actually talk about them?
What I find especially strange is that Reddit is probably one of the easiest places to do it. You can be anonymous. You don’t have to show your face. Most people don’t know even know your real name.
And still people are scared of being judged.
Maybe someone will think you’re weak,crazy,looking for attention,someone will recognize or someone will tell you to pray, stop thinking too much, be grateful because other people have it worse, or simply “get over it.”

And I think that says a lot about how we still see mental health in Sri Lanka.
We’ve become much more comfortable talking about physical health. If you have chest pain, you can tell someone. If you have a broken leg, you go to a doctor. If you have a stomach problem, you can say you’re sick.
But when the problem is in your mind, suddenly there is this weird hesitation.
People start thinking about how they’re going to be perceived before they even think about getting help.
I think we’ve internalized the stigma so much that we judge ourselves before anybody else even gets the chance to.
Some people be struggling with something for months and still think, “It’s not that serious.”
Others want to talk to someone but think, “Other people have bigger problems.”
You might write a post asking for help, read it again, think about what people might say, and delete it, that’s the part I don’t understand.

As a Psychology undergraduate I think I already know why this happens. People are scared of being judged, even on an anonymous platform. Some are scared someone they know might somehow recognize them. Some have grown up thinking these things should stay private, especially family problems. Some don’t want to be seen as weak, dramatic, crazy, attention seeking or whatever else. Some probably don’t know what to say when someone talks about something serious, so they just read and move on (well I have been in that place myself). And when someone does open up and gets almost no response, they might just think nobody cares, which makes the next person even less likely to post. I understand why all of this happens. But I don’t think we should just accept it as how things are. Mental health is too important and too sensitive for people to keep feeling like they have to hide it. We don’t need everyone to suddenly start sharing everything about themselves, but I think we can at least make it a little easier for someone to say “I’m not doing okay” without immediately regretting saying it.

And I also don’t think we should expect people to suddenly become completely open about mental health overnight. Stigma doesn’t disappear because we created a subreddit. Culture, family, religion, education, social expectations and the way people have been brought up all play a role in how comfortable they are talking about these things.
But somewhere we have to start.
And maybe part of that is simply making conversations about mental health feel normal.
Not only something you talk about when someone is suicidal or talk about when someone has a diagnosed mental illness.

That’s really what I wanted r/PsychSL to be. A place for Sri Lankans to talk about these things without feeling like they have to hide behind the idea that everything is fine.

I don’t fully know. Maybe I’m looking at this completely wrong. Maybe there are reasons I’m not seeing. But I’ve been thinking about this and I genuinely want to know what other Sri Lankans think about it. Because if we can openly talk about everything else on Reddit, why does mental health still feel like this one thing people hesitate to touch? Why can someone post about a physical illness without thinking twice, but posting “I’m not doing okay” suddenly feels like a huge deal? And why do so many people seem to want help, but when they actually have a place to talk, they stay quiet or delete what they wrote? Is it our culture? Family? The fear of being judged? Or is there something else going on that I’m missing? I really don’t fully know. But I think it’s worth talking about.

Because this isn’t just about Reddit posts or getting more comments. A simple conversation, a person feeling heard, or someone finally deciding to get help can genuinely change someone’s life. It could save a life, help someone through a marriage, stop someone from giving up on their studies or work, help someone deal with an addiction, or just make a really bad period in someone’s life a little easier. So if you’ve read this far, maybe don’t just scroll past this one too. Say what you think, share your experience if you’re comfortable. Let’s actually talk about this. We need to change how we look at mental health here 💜

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while.

It’s been around 3 months since I created r/PsychSL. The idea was pretty simple. I wanted there to be a place for Sri Lankans where you could talk about mental health, psychology, counseling, personal problems, ask for help, share your experiences, ask questions, or even just say something that you don’t feel comfortable saying anywhere else.

And after running it for a while, there’s something I keep noticing that kinda bothers me.
People do post , they ask for help they do talk about things. But there are also many people who delete their posts. Some posts get almost no interaction whatsoever. Sometimes someone will write something very personal and you can tell they probably spent a lot of time thinking about whether they should even post it, and then it just disappears. I mean even small issues like someone having a bad day or feeling lonely gets deleted before even an proper interaction (believe it or not this happened while I was typing this post, so yeah this is kinda alarming)

so I keep asking myself why ! When I look at a lot of Western communities online, it feels like people are generally much more comfortable saying things like “I’m seeing a therapist,” “I’ve been struggling with depression,” “I need help with anxiety,” or even just openly talking about something they’re going through. Of course, the West has its own stigma and it’s not like everyone there is completely comfortable with mental health either, but the difference in how openly people talk about it can sometimes feel pretty big.

And just to be clear, this isn’t me being disappointed that my subreddit isn’t growing fast enough or complaining that other Sri Lankan subreddits get more activity. That’s not what I’m talking about at all.
I’m talking about something much bigger than r/PsychSL.
I regularly see people in the main Sri Lanka subreddit asking for psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists, help with anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship problems, loneliness, family problems and all sorts of other things.
So clearly there are people who want to talk about these things.
But why is it still so difficult to actually talk about them?
What I find especially strange is that Reddit is probably one of the easiest places to do it. You can be anonymous. You don’t have to show your face. Most people don’t know even know your real name.
And still people are scared of being judged.
Maybe someone will think you’re weak,crazy,looking for attention,someone will recognize or someone will tell you to pray, stop thinking too much, be grateful because other people have it worse, or simply “get over it.”

And I think that says a lot about how we still see mental health in Sri Lanka.
We’ve become much more comfortable talking about physical health. If you have chest pain, you can tell someone. If you have a broken leg, you go to a doctor. If you have a stomach problem, you can say you’re sick.
But when the problem is in your mind, suddenly there is this weird hesitation.
People start thinking about how they’re going to be perceived before they even think about getting help.
I think we’ve internalized the stigma so much that we judge ourselves before anybody else even gets the chance to.
Some people be struggling with something for months and still think, “It’s not that serious.”
Others want to talk to someone but think, “Other people have bigger problems.”
You might write a post asking for help, read it again, think about what people might say, and delete it, that’s the part I don’t understand.

As a Psychology undergraduate I think I already know why this happens. People are scared of being judged, even on an anonymous platform. Some are scared someone they know might somehow recognize them. Some have grown up thinking these things should stay private, especially family problems. Some don’t want to be seen as weak, dramatic, crazy, attention seeking or whatever else. Some probably don’t know what to say when someone talks about something serious, so they just read and move on (well I have been in that place myself). And when someone does open up and gets almost no response, they might just think nobody cares, which makes the next person even less likely to post. I understand why all of this happens. But I don’t think we should just accept it as how things are. Mental health is too important and too sensitive for people to keep feeling like they have to hide it. We don’t need everyone to suddenly start sharing everything about themselves, but I think we can at least make it a little easier for someone to say “I’m not doing okay” without immediately regretting saying it.

And I also don’t think we should expect people to suddenly become completely open about mental health overnight. Stigma doesn’t disappear because we created a subreddit. Culture, family, religion, education, social expectations and the way people have been brought up all play a role in how comfortable they are talking about these things.
But somewhere we have to start.
And maybe part of that is simply making conversations about mental health feel normal.
Not only something you talk about when someone is suicidal or talk about when someone has a diagnosed mental illness.

That’s really what I wanted r/PsychSL to be. A place for Sri Lankans to talk about these things without feeling like they have to hide behind the idea that everything is fine.

I don’t fully know. Maybe I’m looking at this completely wrong. Maybe there are reasons I’m not seeing. But I’ve been thinking about this and I genuinely want to know what other Sri Lankans think about it. Because if we can openly talk about everything else on Reddit, why does mental health still feel like this one thing people hesitate to touch? Why can someone post about a physical illness without thinking twice, but posting “I’m not doing okay” suddenly feels like a huge deal? And why do so many people seem to want help, but when they actually have a place to talk, they stay quiet or delete what they wrote? Is it our culture? Family? The fear of being judged? Or is there something else going on that I’m missing? I really don’t fully know. But I think it’s worth talking about.

Because this isn’t just about Reddit posts or getting more comments. A simple conversation, a person feeling heard, or someone finally deciding to get help can genuinely change someone’s life. It could save a life, help someone through a marriage, stop someone from giving up on their studies or work, help someone deal with an addiction, or just make a really bad period in someone’s life a little easier. So if you’ve read this far, maybe don’t just scroll past this one too. Say what you think, share your experience if you’re comfortable. Let’s actually talk about this. We need to change how we look at mental health here 💜

Some people love waking up early, getting things done before the day gets busy, and feel most productive in the morning. Others feel like their brain doesn’t properly wake up until the evening, and end up doing their best work late at night when everything is quiet (the night owls)

“I am both a night owl and an early bird. So l
am wise and I have
worms”

~ Michael Scott

Personally I do both depending on the tasks and situations and I’m effective in both…..

How about you guys :]

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I feel like most of us have a love–hate relationship with social media. It’s where we keep up with friends, see what’s happening in the country, follow news, learn new things, and sometimes just switch our brains off for a while. For a lot of people, deleting it completely isn’t really an option anymore.
But at the same time, it’s easy to lose an hour without even noticing. Sometimes you close the app feeling entertained. Other times you end up comparing yourself to everyone else, feeling like you’re falling behind, or wondering why everyone else’s life seems so much more exciting.

Then there’s FOMO, the feeling that you’re missing out if you’re not constantly checking in. On the flip side, some people say they feel much happier after taking a break and experience what people call JOMO, the joy of missing out.

I’m curious how it’s been for everyone here. Has social media mostly been good for your mental health, mostly bad, or somewhere in the middle? Have you ever tried taking a break from it? Did you miss it, or did you feel relieved? And if you had to be honest with yourself, do you think you have a healthy relationship with it?