u/Any-Astronomer7527

I live in Wiltshire, originally from Mexico, I love going for walks, exercising and somewhat outgoing guy, looking for friends :)

Lindsey Clancy and Jane Doe are 2 of the horsemen that will destroy their movement due to many men being sick and tired of many women incapability of accepting accountability or keeping other women from it, they are defending a tripe child murderer and someone who falsely accused 7 men of rape, we men collectively if we all decided to bring women back to the 1950's we could and it seems like we are heading to that direction of even the early 1900's.

Is a bit of a long read so make sure you got enough time, sorry.

I have secretly cross-dressed from a very young age. My first time doing this, I remember being 7 as my mom allowed me to borrow a pair of her underwear because I didn’t have any clean ones. They were some briefs made of silk-like material, beige colour. I remember the feeling so well—they were so comfortable and soft. Around this time I wasn’t very close to my mom and I was a bit traumatised due to my parents fighting a lot and my mom taking out her frustrations on me by treating me like shit. So I sort of felt by wearing her panties I got a sense of connection/bonding with her, like strong mom-to-son love. Not sure, and I don’t know what to make of it. This was many many years ago but the memory is like a core one, hard to forget.

I carried on doing this in secret and sometimes instead of wearing my underwear I went to her drawer and wore hers for when we went out at the weekend, I went to school or anywhere to be honest. She caught me not long after starting this as I left my jeans in the dirty clothes laundry basket with her underwear inside them, so it was clear as day that I wore them. I remember her confronting me and telling me, “Why did you use my panties? Do you want to be a woman or what?” This made me feel like I was doing something wrong—not for the fact that I grabbed her underwear but for the simple fact of me not being female and doing this. Before this I didn’t see anything wrong with me being a boy and using her underwear, but from this point I carried on doing it but being secretive about it. I always made sure I borrowed her undies and put them back where I left them after, or if they smelled or became dirty I would just put them at the bottom of the dirty laundry pile so my mom washes them but she can’t tell that I wore them. This behaviour carried on for a while, from 7–10. Along with this I started doing something else. I wasn’t sure to include it for how strange it sounds, but I started wearing period sanitary pads with my mom’s briefs. I’m not sure why, I just started doing it. I wanted to imitate her, do what she did.

I also had some non-sexual fantasies around this age. I imagined myself being a girl or wishing to be a girl, feel pretty, loved and cared for. There were a few cartoons or shows where they showed male characters being converted to girls, feminised in some way, and I remember this did make me feel euphoric. I was very small, I would not be able to tell if it was sexual or not, I just knew this was a very vivid fantasy or wish and it felt very pleasant when thinking about it.

Later on my parents separated and I went to live with my mom and my dad went to live with my grandma. I saw my dad every day as my grandma picked me up from school around 1pm and my mom collected me later on at 5pm when she finished work. (Just mentioning these off-topic facts so you get the idea about my life.)

When I reached 10–11 I was exposed to porn due to my father being an absolute degenerate and inviting me to watch it with him, and this woke something up in me. It was straight porn, PiV and anal. I always saw myself in the woman’s place, her receiving so much attention, being craved for, desired, and the men wanting to make her feel good. It felt like something I deeply wanted for me. I only watched porn with my dad once, it was kind of his way to give me a sex education (weird I know) but it just opened a door for me. I started watching a lot of porn on my own, mainly straight anal, and at the same time while cross-dressed. I managed to have a whole wardrobe of many clothes as I’d been stealing them from different female family members and my dad’s girlfriend. Nobody ever noticed. I had shorts, jeans, tights, stockings, t-shirts, a dress, hair extensions, old high heels that fit me perfectly that my mom was going to throw away, and a collection of lingerie, briefs, thongs, bras and all sorts. I was a big thief and to this day I am not proud of that, but I didn’t see any other alternative. My family were quite Christian, not practising but culturally, they disliked gay people or people who were not the typical stereotype of what a man or woman should be, so I was extremely careful doing this and felt the only way to be able to meet these desires or needs that I had. I did have a lot of shame for being this way.

Weirdly enough, as I was watching porn and cross-dressing around 10–11 I didn’t masturbate with my penis even once. I instead tried to re-create what I saw in porn and follow these feelings or fantasy and masturbated anally with plastic bottles or things that were shaped in a way that allowed me to do this. I had dry orgasms I remember. I orgasmed in a way that I felt some sort of convulsions/electric shocks going around my legs and lower abdomen, paralysing pleasurable feelings, and while doing this I watched porn and imagined myself being the woman in the video. Never came or touched my penis even once. This carried on for a year or so.

I was around 12 or 13 and here is where I masturbated for the first time using my penis. I wasn’t completely cross-dressing but wearing panties when this happened. Then I carried on doing this sometimes when cross-dressing, sometimes when watching porn or sometimes both, but mostly when watching porn. At this time I somewhat transitioned from straight porn to transgender and crossdresser porn, porn that I was able to relate more to myself, but I still see these receptive people as women, just in a way I could relate due to me not being a woman.

I carried on doing this from 13 to 17. There were moments where I threw away all the clothes only to buy them back many times (I have probably thrown away $800 in total). I also started buying my own through Amazon and nobody knew about this.

I had 2 girlfriends when I was 14 and 15. I never had sex with them. I saw them more as very close friends. I never had attraction to boys. I was attracted to girls physically and emotionally, but a part of me also kind of obsessed with their femininity and I wanted to embody it. A part of me still wanting to be a girl, but I didn’t hate being a man or having a penis. There was a time where I did desire to be a girl and have a vagina. I even had dreams about this and woke up disappointed of not having one, but I never really hated being male. It’s so strange to describe and confusing. Anyway I was a somewhat feminine extroverted guy in high school, very emotional, sensitive and soft. Never liked boys, or I thought I didn’t.

My father had a girlfriend that had a son and he watched yaoi (gay anime porn) and he introduced me to it. Never liked it and I found it weird. I was more into polarised porn, the typical male and female one, like a male with a cis-woman, trans-woman or crossdresser, a porn that represented both the male and female energies. Anyway we hung around often and at some point I disclosed to him about me cross-dressing and he was a bit surprised but didn’t find it disgusting or shocking. One day we had a sleepover (I was 11 and he was 12) and I cross-dressed fully for him. I was wearing high heels, tights, a skirt with lingerie underneath and a wig. I was curious and scared of doing this in front of someone but he seemed to like it. We played video games while I was dressed up and at some point we started touching each other, kissed and we had sex. I enjoyed the connection I had with him, emotionally and physically. He made me feel the way I wanted to feel while watching porn and I saw myself not as me but as a woman while being intimate with him. I stopped seeing him and lost contact soon after as my dad broke up with his mom.

Moving forward, I still saw myself as straight and I felt a lot of regret and shame from that encounter I had with this boy, even if it felt so good, it just didn’t feel right. At 17 I was very lonely and depressed. I was craving a relationship and intimacy with a girl. At this point I had moved on from the encounter I had with that guy. Deep down I wanted to explore more but I suppressed these emotions and tried to get a girlfriend but I wasn’t able to. College girls or from dating apps were not interested in me, so out of desperation I decided to give in to these buried feelings and I tried dating a guy from Grindr. I cross-dressed, wore a wig and make-up and called myself “Ayla”. I looked so pretty and passed as a girl very well as I was fit and had a nice body. I instantly got so many likes or men interested, like 40 in 15 minutes of creating my profile. Some of them were very nice and wanted to chat, others were straight-up degenerates and just wanted to hook up. I wanted a connection, intimacy, to talk to someone, have hugs and closeness. Anyway without explaining too much how these “dates” went, they all ended up in hook-ups and my mental health took a toll badly. I was dressed up as a girl in each and I assimilated to take the role as the woman as being receptive and submissive. I felt so ashamed as deep down I just think I wanted a relationship with a woman but I had to opt to be one or try to replace it with me doing these things. I might not be feeling this bad if I had the chance to meet a guy who cared about me and made me feel as my first encounter when I was a kid. I don’t know.

Around this time in college I self-described as a bisexual femboy and started wearing women’s jeans, underwear, painted my nails and allowed my hair to get long-ish. It somewhat felt very liberating but I hated being seen as a feminine guy. People found it weird but nobody really said anything, just got stares. Also when going to the gym I started wearing women’s leggings as I found the women wearing them hot and I wanted to look like them, maybe some AGP, I don’t know. I stopped this femboy persona overall because in the gym people questioned me and found it weird. I went to that gym for years. Some asked me “Why do you wear women’s leggings?” I lied and said they were men’s but they clearly were not lol, and another person said to me, “Hey, when are you wearing leggings again?” I found this intimidating and inappropriate but I think they were just teasing or joking around so I responded “Next Tuesday” as I only wore them on my leg days. This was too much pressure and people clearly found me odd so I never went back to the gym for the shame.

Also my mom—I somewhat opened up to her about this self-expression I had and identity and she was supportive at first and cried of happiness as we moved somewhere else more accepting so her deep conservative Christian beliefs may have changed throughout the time, but she changed her mind a month after and said that I looked bad in a pair of skinny jeans as my bulge was showing. Then later on that same day came to my room and said “Don’t carry on dressing up in the house so my little brother and sister don’t grow up confused.” That day I cried all night and felt a huge sense of disgust and shame and I did start hating being a man at that point. I had no freedom of expression and I will always be looked down on. Only if I were a woman I would be happy, I thought. I never opened up to my mom ever since 2020 when this happened about anything. I cannot trust her with anything because I would not want to get hurt the way she hurt me.

Between 2020 to 2023 I hooked up with 6 guys and fell into a deep depression where I’ve been isolated in my room since then. No job, no friends, no hobbies, just confused of who I am, what I want, lonely, depressed. I threw away all my clothes and I spend my days just watching porn, eating junk food, watching incel content, playing video games and arguing with people on the internet. I am at the lowest point in my life.

I will attempt to get out every day, sleep well, eat healthy and stay away from anything that is related to trans, cross-dressing or porn. Also I will stop studying the Bible and going to church as I started this a few months back. I want to know where my heart stands and what I want without being influenced by porn, social media, religion or anybody.

Preferably a thong, my package is regular size and I don't mind going with something tight, I just don't want my junk to be extremely noticeable in leggings when I go running.

Am sorry but reality is that life as an incel beta will be a lot easier than someone who is living 24/7 as a trans woman which can't pass, you are not going to get the benefits that women get and now you will be harassed by potentially both sex's (more men) and it could be dangerous, more dangerous than if you passed, your best option will be either homosexualmaxxing or choose the hardest road and try looksmaxxing as a man.

I got passkeys saved in Bitwarden but I also want to have an external access source.

I am just adding an extra layer of security to my accounts with a passkey, I already use 2FA app (Ente Auth), I need a passkey for my password manager and email specially.

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I got Bitwarden, Ente Auth and SimpleLogin a few days ago. I created two email aliases, one for Bitwarden and one for Ente Auth. I’ve also changed all my passwords using the Bitwarden generator and set up TOTP 2FA for them through Ente.

The key thing with my system is being able to access Bitwarden, which ultimately depends on being able to access my email (Outlook). To log into Bitwarden, I need a verification code from Ente, and to access Ente Auth, I need access to my email for a verification code for Ente Auth. So it’s basically a dependency system where everything ultimately comes down to being able to access my email and Ente Auth.

I’m not too worried about Bitwarden because I’ve backed up an encrypted copy of my vault to a USB stick.

I also have an emergency sheet with my 25-digit recovery code for my email and the recovery key for Ente.

What other verification methods can I add to these two? I currently have SMS 2FA enabled for my email, but I want to get rid of it because I don’t really trust text messages. If I lose my phone or it gets stolen, I’d be forced to rely on my recovery codes to get back into my email.

When I have a bit more money, I’m planning to buy a hardware security key.

So my question is: what verification methods would you recommend adding to my email and Ente Auth so that I’m not relying only on my recovery codes?

I got Bitwarden, Ente Auth and SimpleLogin a few days ago. I created two email aliases, one for Bitwarden and one for Ente Auth. I’ve also changed all my passwords using the Bitwarden generator and set up TOTP 2FA for them through Ente.

The key thing with my system is being able to access Bitwarden, which ultimately depends on being able to access my email (Outlook). To log into Bitwarden, I need a verification code from Ente, and to access Ente Auth, I need access to my email for a verification code for Ente Auth. So it’s basically a dependency system where everything ultimately comes down to being able to access my email and Ente Auth.

I’m not too worried about Bitwarden because I’ve backed up an encrypted copy of my vault to a USB stick.

I also have an emergency sheet with my 25-digit recovery code for my email and the recovery key for Ente.

What other verification methods can I add to these two? I currently have SMS 2FA enabled for my email, but I want to get rid of it because I don’t really trust text messages. If I lose my phone or it gets stolen, I’d be forced to rely on my recovery codes to get back into my email.

When I have a bit more money, I’m planning to buy a hardware security key.

So my question is: what verification methods would you recommend adding to my email and Ente Auth so that I’m not relying only on my recovery codes?

I am maximising my security overall, I got Bitwarden, Ente Auth 2FA app.

In the case someone steals my pc or my SSD how hard would it be for them to access to my windows? As I always save my cookies from places like facebook or reddit so I don't have to login each time.

I been stressing about this for the last 2 hours thinking about best authenticators, back ups and lots of stuff that I don't understand that a lot of experienced people talk about about. So I will keep it simple, advice is welcome.

1-Put a 2FA to access my Bitwarden vault, so I would need my master password + a code from an authenticator on my phone to access my vault/account.

2-Write down my master password and my single use recovery code to bi-pass 2FA in case I lose my phone and keep it somewhere safe, maybe a fireproof safe.

Is this good enough?

I have change and saved all my passwords in Bitwarden and I memorised and wrote down in a secretively way the master key and the recovery code to bypass two-step login in case I lose my device that has the authenticator.

Question, how many authenticators do I need? Should use only one service but have one app in my computer and another on my phone? (with a ping to access to them of course), is it fine to use the Bitwarden authenticator?

Also what happens if I lose my phone or someone steals my computer? is there a way to login to Bitwarden through another device and close all my open sessions? I am not going to sign out and login each time I use social media so what's the best way I can set-up bitwarden?