u/Aware_Improvement652

I'm just curious. Lately I did a post where I said something about having a type, maybe high standards, "looking for handsome guy" and I stated very directly and clearly "It's a luxury problem, If you can't relate, please don't write mean unnecessary stuff". I said my aim is exclusively to connect with people who have similar problems and views like me, for which a lot of were responding in a mean way, attacking my personality they don't know, telling me mean stuff about being alone forever etc. Later at some point I must admit I was saying mean stuff too, but it has its reason, because I requested clearly, if you don't share this view, don't start an unnecessary shitshow.

Someone might obviously say : people online are just like this.

But I guess it's a fair implication, maybe not equivalence that if a lot of people can be mean online they are also not the kindest in real life.

I just want to see what opinions people have on this, that's pretty surprising for me everyone is against people who have standards or something like that which is obvious and a natural thing to have. And that people are so hungry for a conflict here, they will ignore things like "please don't write unnecessary mean stuff".

I often get advice 'just lower your standards '. And I find it extremely confusing, since if right now, a guy - no matter how I like his personality - just doesn't arouse me sexually, he will not arouse me after we meet, and get intimate. If I even tried, I would just make him and me uncomfortable and sad. I don't even want to do it, I just find it weird so many people are throwing statements like this without even seeing a person and knowing who they rejected and who they didn't reject. And that this advice will not work since we all rejected girls cause they don't arouse us sexually. This is why I find it contradictory too.

I'm 22 and I really struggle to find someone to approach, give a compliment, or flirt with. Just nobody arouses, except maybe 1-2 guys a year on dating apps who live too far away. I'm in Berlin and any first of all there are very few socialising events happening for my age group and if they do, I just usually don't find anyone arousing or it's a party event with loud music and I can't even try to approach them. Sometimes I see someone attractive on the street, but that's it.

I'm aware it's more of a luxus problem this is why I would like to connect with people similar to me, maybe having similar problems. I can't 'lower my standards' as many people say. I just won't go on a date or fall in love with someone who doesn't arouse me -> pretty simple logic I guess.

So if you can't relate just don't throw a mean, unnecessary stuff

Am besten wäre in Altersdurchschnitt 18-25

I'm 22 and since lately I find it so difficult to find any opportunities to actually even 'try to find' boyfriend or increase the likelihood. Like in my city there's only one event for queers at a young age, it's fairly a small group, and the rest are just bars/clubs with old people, drunk people, loud music and generally not safe to go alone. And I've been going to a theatre group and the student community, but I found nobody interesting. I feel like it's a huge issue for me (I don't know if it makes sense to call it an issue) but I just don't find most guys on tinder and online attractive enough, I just feel zero arousal.

Sometimes I feel it but that happens rarely and usually it's not someone who's single, living in my city and who wants to go on a date. I'm just basically spending my time sitting in the library, studying algeba and around me are either girls or guys I don't imagine flirting with, and even if I wanted, neither library or any public space is a good place for it.

I just don't really see any opportunities in the upcoming future. Sometimes it's hard to make friends in real life (I'm in Germany,no offense, but most people here aren't the most open, funny, social) but it's even harder to imagine that someone I will not only vibe with, have a good time, but also really fall in love with his looks. It sounds so unrealistic to me, especially because currently I have nowhere to "go" to look around, except my library, and some very casual random events in the city.

Frage an schwule in Alter so 18-25:

Ich bin hier von ca. 8 aus Polen gezogen, Abitur alles geschafft. Manchmal aber, in sozialen Umfeld, auf einer Party etc. bin ich gestresst, vergesse leicht Wörter, also mein Deutsch ist halt nicht perfekt, aber ich bin dafür lustig und so schon unterhaltsam(ja ich mag mich selber). Ich weiß nicht aber wie große Rolle es spielt, dass es keine Muttersprache ist. Hättet ihr schon Beziehung, Date mit einem Ausländer?

Ich überlege manchmal nach Polen Warschau zurückziehen, da wirds vielleicht ein bisschen entspannter mit sprechen, aber Warschau ist halt ziemlich homophobisch, oder jetzt "weiß man eigentlich nicht".

Am besten wäre, wenn die Antworten von dieser Altersgruppe kommen.

Is there anything for a specific group of 18-25 (sorry for the rest). I find a lot of social events are a mix of groups and mostly there are guys 30+.

I feel like there are very few opportunities to actually meet people who are in this age range and are open for making friends and dating. Of course, there are some events, but apparently very few.

My overall experience is that dating (especially gay dating) is very limited and so is making friends here. People are used to clustering in their own small communities and groups and to be honest, there are a lot of boring, stupid people out there (no offense). But I just feel that the pool is too small to find actual "perfect" matches.

Is there any better city for social life? Is Berlin and Germany an exception?

*Please don't try to be philosophical in the sense of "try to be more open, stop caring about age range and how people behave".

This is supposed to be a very practical, dry question indeed.

It would be best if only people in this age range could share their experience, maybe some knowledge.

Zadawałem to pytanie wiele razy, ale często nie dostawałem klarownej odpowiedzi od gejów i ich bezpośrednich doświadczeń. Widziałem statystyki że Polska wypada bardzo słabo. Ale czy sądzicie, że w dużych miastach w Polsce, szczególnie wśród młodych tak o koło 18-25 lat , jest znacznie gorzej niż w zachodnich miastach typu Berlin? No bo tu i tam znajdą się tacy co są za i przeciw albo co będą agresywni, a z czego mi na razie wiadomo, wiele osób opisuje nawet, że Warszawa jest nawet bezpieczniejsza w ogólnym sensie.

So I didn't finish my modules in regular time by far. I'm in my 4th semester and I only finished one exam because I had a lot of periods of thinking about changing my degree, and I wasn't really preferred, I also find the level a bit high. Right now I decided to finish one big module this semester. But Hauptgebäude closed and basically I also began to realise that social life here is a bit limiting. I don't see a lot of people on campus, and there are not really that many events where students from my semester get to know each other. But the part about closing Hauptgebäude, online lectures and some comments I read about this make me think again: should I apply somewhere else?

The problem is I don't know if I will get through NC

Like for about 20 y.o, maybe students.

And I don't mean a regular dark beat techno where you can't talk to anyone and everyone is drunk.

Is there even such a thing?

Please be specific, don't send me links 'events in Berlin'.

Was ist eure Studiengang und wie viel lernt ihr?

Cause the thing is sometimes I really like REALLY feel I do like him and sometimes I am not that sure and most always I'm sure I don't. But If I decide to go on a date with him , when I'm not REALLY into him and not just thinking about him all day, in the end it will just make us both sad. But on the other hand I only REALLY fall for max. 3 guys on dating apps, in the last 2-3 years. Once I was in the band 4 years ago at 18, and I really liked the singer but he was straight. Meeting my true type is so rare, I feel the need to just adjust expectations, but anytime I like someone who doesn't make my heart beat faster, I realise it's just stupid...

Is it true that this degree is easy and stable? Does it make sense to switch from Business IT to business because IT is difficult? I'm not sure if I will have any skills afterwards though. And I am not passionate about business tbh. I want to have something to support my music career but I don't want to end up being a business man without skills who is a struggling music artist?

Have you also dreamt about being a musician pop star? Does following music education gave you an element of it? I'm currently doing IT business and am wondering about switching majors and giving a shot to a music career and if it will not work out, staying at school and teaching it. What are your thoughts on it? Could you describe your day, maybe some cons and pros?

Have you also dreamt about being a musician pop star?

Does following music education gave you an element of it? I'm currently doing IT business and I am wondering about switching majors and giving a shot to a music career and if it will not work out, staying at school and teaching it. What are your thoughts on it? Could you describe your day, maybe some cons and pros?

Right now I'm 22, a student of cs business and I have a couple of options but I have NO IDEA what to choose:

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I can break my study and find something else cause I'm not passionate about cs, I didn't finish most exams and it's been 2 years since I started, plus I haven't found any real friends there though it's a different thing.

I'm wondering about classical theatre singing in Art university since it's close to music. But I already missed the application and I would have to wait another year and I am not really sure if classical opera is my thing. I like to write songs on my own, work on my lyrics, voice, and music video. But I am kinda doubtful about academia, though I enjoyed mozart too.

I could also apply for another music school, but it's in a super small town and I would have to move from a bigger city I'm currently in, and it's also kinda classical though there are pop modules.

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BUT: I don't know if studying music makes even sense. Berkley sure. But small schools or unis in Germany probably won't make me a star. On the other hand studying business or cs takes so much energy to invest that I would forget about music. Like, if I want to do business and cs and find a job, I probably have to be GOOD in it not just good.

I can also do physiotherapy since it's the most stable job, but currently I realised I also missed some deadlines, for others I would either have debts, there are some options but in the end if I would have so to say "massage old people" which doesn't really sound appealing to me.

I could also do acting since I am living near film school (but I don't know if I will get the place, and it's the same problem as with music).

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Since literally EVERY OPTION has downsides I'm kinda lost when it comes to putting my energy. Cause if I choose something right, it's going to be a long term investment and it will have a lot of consequences.

Würdet ihr weiterempfehlen? Warum?

Ich habe gehört, dass man in Physiotherapie Spezialisierung in Sport machen kann. Vielleicht dumme Frage, abet ist es dann möglich, dass ihr nur Sportler massiert?

Was macht am meisten Spaß ist am stabilsten und nicht "zu" anspruchsvoll?

1 IT Anwendungsentwickler

2 Physiotherapie

3 Pflegekraft

4 Mechatroniker

5 Kaufmann

6 Friseur

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Hat jemand Erfahrung mit Bachelor of Music? Macht sinn von großeren Stadt wie Berlin nur für dieses Studiengang wegzuziehen ?