u/DatabasePlenty9797

So far the stuff I’ve done has mostly been repairing, adding patches, customising, etc. I’ve never made my own clothes but there are a bunch of accessories I’d like to make. However, I’m terrified of hand-stitching making my stuff look wonky. I am not at all a fan of throwing away clothes, so the idea of making something with love and having it look like shit really, really freaks me out.

Should I go for it, or is it better to wait a couple of years to move out and get a machine?

Got bored. Grabbed my mascara brush. Did a few swoops. It came out messy so I had to do a bit of amending with spit and a paper towel but holy shit. This might the the most masculinising thing I’ve ever managed. Even with a little bit of eyeliner (which I previously had on) I just look a bit more Like a glam-rock-y dude than like a cis woman. This is insane.

Our relationship has been extremely strained over the years, especially those once I hit puberty and started questioning his views and his ways of talking about my maternal family. >!I would honestly go so far as to say he has been severely mentally abusive since I was 11 years old up until I turned 16. His patterns would fluctuate. He’d be good for a few weeks, and then spend months being horrid and cursing out both my mother and the rest of my family until I snapped and went no-contact for a month, then returned and kept trying to appease him.!<

But, after our last huge fight that lasted almost 6 months of no-contact where I did a lot of therapy and healing, I decided to very hesitantly step back in after his countless apologies.

That reunion was last September, and yet it feels like it was an entire lifetime ago.

I have not been this happy with my father since I was a little girl unaware of any problems in the world. He makes awesome food, we play games all the time, we go on long seaside motorcycle rides in the mornings and then have late movie nights. The other day he woke me up with waffles with ice cream for breakfast. For breakfast!! My dad’s always been a health nut and he wanted to surprise me like that!!

I remember a time when I was 13 and I knew I’d have to visit my father that weekend and I’d cry and pray some miracle happened so I didn’t have to go. Now every time he books the flight for me to visit him I’m overjoyed the entire time and so excited to see him.

I’m 17 years old now, but the happy times I am spending with my father makes me feel like I can get back every single damn year I lost to his troubles when I was younger. He is so much kinder, and more compassionate, and more willing to have cordial debates about political stuff we disagree on. Of course, I still really dislike his politics, but it feels so much easier to express that around him and ask him to stop saying nasty things without him getting up in arms.

I’m emotional just typing this out. I really hope anyone who wants to reconnect with their parents manages to, because god, I feel like I’m flying.