Ive been reading Montessori toddler and the book says not to praise the toddler when they do stuff because they learn to do things for the external praise.
This is super hard for me. I have a 9 month old and get super excited when he does stuff.
Am I hurting him?
Ive posted here before when my baby was really little about when it gets better. The sleepless nights, he had reflux and cried a lot. It was tough.
Well, now hes 8 months and this is so much fun. Don't get me wrong, he'll miss a nap and cry for 3 hours till he falls asleep sometimes. He wakes up in the middle of the night. He is teething and fussy somedays, he exclusively contact naps so I never get a break.
But holy smokes is he awesome! He plays games with us! He engages with things when we bring him out. He pretending to nom on a strawberry the other day to make us laugh. Before him, my husband and I woke up excited to hang out with each other and now we wake up excited to hang out the three of us.
Does this parenting thing get more fun or is this peak?
Our LO is 7 months old, hes not in daycare and we have no plans to put him in daycare. We are on the wait-list for one of two Montessori preschools in our area but its a 5 year wait so I'm not optimistic. Financially, daycare just doesn't make sense for us tbh.
My question is, how does our baby make friends? I know he doesn't need any right now but eventually he will. He has cousins we see once a month who are a bit older than him but is that enough? Should we put him in daycare just for the socializing? How does this work?
Doctors orders are for baby to eat soy twice a week. He used to have purees with soy milk but won't touch purees anymore! No luck with sneaking in soft tofu either.
I would love some ideas for how to get this baby soy. He'll eat anything but purees and he also can't have oat.
Tia!
Normal that baby needs more room?
We have a 7 month old and live in a small townhouse.
We have a tiny play space for him and find that after maybe 40 minutes in that space hes bored and we have to take him to the park, on a walk etc. We have no outdoor space or another room to take him. Our lease is up in a few months and we're planning to move somewhere with more space.
We have had some comments that this is not normal and we are not engaging him enough or his naps are the problem.
For more information, he scoots at the moment and can cover the entire space in 2-3 scoots.
This is very random but the other day at baby swim, I overheard the toddler parents saying that babies are so much easier because they are much easier to take places.
I can't stop thinking about it because I was hoping being out and about would get easier! Toddler parents, what changed for you?
Baby is 6 month old. He recently went to through a phase were hed touch my face while feeding. So cute. So sweet. Then he started playing with his own toes. Adorable.
Well. Now he scratches and pinches my face and skin. Even with short nails. It hurts. He tries to get inside my mouth and scratch behind my teeth but will settle for pinching my collarbones or any skin he can grab.
Any tips? Does it end?
Pretty much the title. The air conditioning broke on Wednesday night. We called him first thing Thursday morning. He said hed come by but didn't. At 4 we called him again and he said he didn't have keys to get in (we were out) we told him wed text when we were home to let him in, but we got home at around 7, which was too late for him.
Its 1pm today and hes been ghosting us all day. Not responding to calls or texts. We have an infant and the house is all windows and hot. It's really not safe for him, especially at night.
Do we have any recourse here to get him to at least come look at the darn thing?
I may be sensitive because I just had a baby, but the amount of people on the Internet (and even some people in person) who are comfortable saying the crazies things about kids and babies is insane. Ive seen people call them very dehumanizing names, calling for them to be banned from public spaces, say they're disgusting, smell bad whatever else.
People justify it by saying that kids are badly behaved. Okay and? Even if they are, they're still little humans doing their best. The world is big and scary, they're overwhelmed and still haven't learned all the rules yet. Intellectually disabled people sometimes struggle with the same things kids do, but you don't hear the same kind of things said about them.
Kids are some of the most vulnerable people in our communities. Whatever marginalized you think of, the kids in those groups suffer the same marginalization and more.
You don't have to have kids, you don't have to want kids but they are a part of our society. You cannot have a fair, egalitarian society if people can look at one of its most vulnerable groups, who need the most support and cannot advocate for themselves and feel like its okay to say you hate them and call them names, no matter how you justify it.
Our 6 month old had a cold this weekend and needed to be held for his sleeps. My husband worked all weekend and was gone from 7am to 10pm so it was super hard on me.
Even when hes not requiring being held, he still needs me next to him to sleep so I go to bed with baby and husband finishes up the dishes etc and usually comes to bed a few hours later. I do babies first wake window while husband sleeps in the morning
The week is here, husband is home, baby is better. But last night, he still wanted to be held for a couple hours. It was super tough and I got maybe 4? Hours of broken sleep.
On top of being held to sleep, baby woke up early this morning so I was extremely exhausted. Tried waking up husband to see if he'll take him and husband said no because he was also sleepy. I watched him sleep all night but he insists he was lying there with his eyes closed because babies wakes also woke him up.
I told him maybe we can start sleeping in separate rooms for the time being so that he can actually sleep and then help me out in the mornings on days like this. I'm not asking him to do every morning, just nights when I don't feel like its safe to be alone with the baby.
He essentially told me that hes not going to do that and we just need to sleep train him. I don't understand how he can be so callous about our baby who loves us and needs us.
Honestly, id rather be sleep deprived than sleep train baby. It just sucks to have to do it alone.
I'm going to try and explain this as best as I can but I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm also the sleep deprived parent of a 6 month old so my memory and descriptions might be vague.
I loved covenant of water (except for the ending) and I loved the character of big amachi, baby mol, shamuel, joppan and even Philippose. As someone who grew up in southern India, i liked verghese treatment of caste.
However, something about verghese's women made it really hard to connect with them. Elsie being the most egregious example but I think mariama too.
I think part of it is how none of the characters behaviour is ever interesting or morally grey. I initially didn't care for elsie because the solemn child, to the care free young woman in the train, to the self serious artist felt like a big swing. After that, nothing humanizes her until Ninans death. Shes beautiful, her art is perfect, and everyone loves her. When ninan dies, she just leaves the plot.
The most compelling moment of her character arc, was when she was not able to hold mariama after her birth. I had post partum anxiety myself and it felt so human that after the loss of a child, the birth of another comes with guilt and sadness and fear but no. She had a disease and was doing the "noble thing" of pretending to drown.
This is compounded but the way characters react to them. Philipose writes about Mariama that he thought she was ninan reincarnated but its better that shes not? Lenin evermore says that hed rather live for something he believes in rather than dying for a cause he didn't believe in - but people in the book and in real life lived and died for that cause, him caring for the poor was his defining characteristic but suddenly he didn't actually believe in it, and finally he jumps from being a priest to being a naxalite to he didn't actually believe in that either so he feels wishy washy and it doesn't line up with walking a straight line. This happens pre surgery too so that doesn't explain it. Similarly, the way Digby talks about Elsie feels so hollow and unearned narratively (i just found you, I can't lose you)
The characters actions or motivations never feel complex or morally grey. Big amachi is humanized by her conversations with God and baby mol. Even if she wasn't one saintly, wise character is fine. When characters make choices that should be morally grey, they're never treated that way. Philipose becoming addicted to opium in the wake of Ninans death is bad but Elsie sleeping with someone else and then leaving that child to be cared for by an addict isn't seen as even slightly questionable?
Even Digby suffers from it to an extent. He sleeps with Celeste, and she dies so he's punished in a way but the narrative implies he has no actual blame which is true. He does have blame however for jeopardizing the trial against Celestes husband, who has killed people and will probably kill again. You couldn't wait a few months?? And the narrative burries this just like it does the age gap and vulnerability of Elsie by some random exposition of another female character saying "eh it's fine. It all worked out"
I try to see it as Elsie is only ever seen through the eyes of men who idolize her due to her beauty. Which. Fine.
But I wish the narrative made it clear that's the case.
It turned into a bit of a rant, but I think I mostly feel let down by the ending. Anyone else feel off about the characters in this book?
Baby is 6 months old. I accidentally had soy about a month and a half ago and he had no reaction. So our doctor gave us the green light for him to try it himself.
He's had soy everyday since sunday, although he skipped Tuesday. Its friday now. We haven't had any blood or mucus poops but we also don't know how much he's actually ingested.
He did spit up once. And generally did not like it and wouldn't eat very much of it. Hes a bit fussy but we're attributing that more to some sleep issues hes having, that predate the soy introduction. We have an appointment with his doctor but its far off.
Does this sound like a successful trial? If it is, would you try other triggers?
Im looking for baby cereal thats dairy free, soy free and oat free. So far we've been using hole rice cereal but im worried about the arsenic. I know theres else but its always sold out on the website.
Im mostly looking for something that I can use to thicken purees!
Any ideas?
What's the evidence and general consensus around daycare being beneficial or harmful for babies and toddlers?
Everyone we know credits daycare with their kids talking early or picking up other skills really well. I obviously love my kid and don't want to be separated from him for any meaningful amount of time but I'm okay to do it if there's evidence its beneficial for him.
We breast feed and cosleep but baby still needs to be rocked to sleep for every sleep and nap. Hes a big baby (22lbs at 6 months) and its hard on our bodies.
Did your babies eventually outgrow needing to be rocked?
I recently posted on the new parents subreddit because our baby took a nap at 12:00 am and woke up at 12:40. He went back to sleep at 2am.
A lot of posts suggested that baby needs to be on a schedule or sleep earlier. Well, our baby won't respond to that. He does 4 hour wake windows sometimes and if we try to get him to sleep earlier than that, he simply will not sleep. Capping naps or night time sleep is an absolute no go, our man will be cranky as hell and then add a nap and sleep at 12 am or 2am or whatever time he actually wants to sleep.
Hes generally in a pretty good mood. He has some tummy issues every now and then that make him fussy but in general hes a pretty happy guy. He just doesn't want to sleep.
I think partly I'm feeling pretty judged by people suggesting I just make him sleep earlier or get him on a schedule. If it was as easy as that I would have done it by now.
Where do I start with biologically normal sleep? What is normal?
Its 12:40 Why is my baby awake and ready to play?
Hes 5 months old. He wakes up on his own around 10am every morning. Hes a low sleep needs kid and does 4 hour wake windows with 2 1.5 hour naps everyday. He sleeps at 11pm generally. We didn't give him a bedtime or wake time, its just what his body naturally does.
Why did he just take a 40 minute nap at 12am. If he stays up 4 hours, he'll go to sleep at 5am. He'll sleep 5 hours tonight.
What am I supposed to do here? How do I navigate this?
Baby wont stop whining and fussing
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Our 5 month old basically just fusses 24/7. He fusses in the carrier, he fusses in the stroller, he fusses when we carry him, he fusses on the mat and in the high chair. Hes miserable pretty much any time hes not sleeping.
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Hes almost 6 months and only rolls halfway. We cant do tummy time with him because he doesn't actually do anything. Just lay on the mat and fuss.
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He fights naps like they owe him money. But generally gets 12+ hours of sleep a day.
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We can't be good parents to him. Can't read him books. Cant do activities or take him places. We cant even do basic tummy time because we're so exhausted from all the fussing all day.
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Our support system is all long distance and act like its just us being overwhelmed but I cant imagine everyones baby does this?
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Hes not toothing as far as we know. He has two teeth already and isn't showing any signs of toothing that he did before. We also use the toothing drops but they don't seem to make a dent in the fussiness.
Our 5 month old basically just fusses 24/7. He fusses in the carrier, he fusses in the stroller, he fusses when we carry him, he fusses on the mat and in the high chair. Hes miserable pretty much any time hes not sleeping.
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Hes almost 6 months and only rolls halfway. We cant do tummy time with him because he doesn't actually do anything. Just lay on the mat and fuss.
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He fights naps like they owe him money. But generally gets 12+ hours of sleep a day.
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We can't be good parents to him. Can't read him books. Cant do activities or take him places. We cant even do basic tummy time because we're so exhausted from all the fussing all day.
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Our support system is all long distance and act like its just us being overwhelmed but I cant imagine everyones baby does this?
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Hes not toothing as far as we know. He has two teeth already and isn't showing any signs of toothing that he did before. We also use the toothing drops but they don't seem to make a dent in the fussiness.
Our LO is 5.5 months old. He used to be a really rough sleeper but is getting better. We cosleep and he generally nurses to sleep. He takes 2-3 naps a day.
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I keep seeing parents online, on reddit etc. Talk about moving naps, extending naps etc. How????
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Our LO sleeps when he wants to sleep and not one second earlier. We try to get him down when he starts to show sleep cues and if he's ready he'll sleep or we'll try again in 20 minutes.
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If he wakes up from a nap early and we try to get him back down. He'll cry.
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Try to cap naps and he'll cry.
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His schedule is different everyday and it makes things pretty hard!
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How are other parents doing this?