u/Freezing-cold_6

View Poll

Seriously, It’s the most talked about subject on this subreddit. People post about it more than the actual show. This has been discussed for 20 years and 20 nights. The cast has moved on so why can’t you?

My husband and I recently got married, and there has been tension between me and his family for years. I won’t unpack all of the history, but I’ve often felt like I’m tolerated as his partner rather than actually viewed as part of their family.
Because of that history, my husband and I specifically discussed family formals before the wedding. We agreed we wanted BOTH of us included in the formal family portraits. If we took photos with my family, he was included. If we took photos with his family, I was included. We were getting married, and we wanted the portraits to reflect that.
To be clear, I do NOT expect to be in every photo my husband takes with his family. I don’t care if he takes pictures alone with his mom or siblings. This was specifically about the formal portraits at our wedding and what they represented.
There was one grouping we specifically did not want: my husband, his mom and siblings without me. Our photographer knew this.
I was there for basically all of the family formals, but stepped inside briefly to get a drink. During the few minutes I was gone, that exact photo was taken.
Fast forward to receiving our wedding gallery. We posted some photos online, and my MIL called asking if we’d gotten the gallery back, despite clearly knowing we had. She asked for the link and specifically said she wanted the photo of herself with all of her children.
The ONE formal family photo I wasn’t in.
That already bothered me, but something my bridesmaid told me after the wedding made it worse. She had been helping organize family photos and told my MIL she was needed for another picture. MIL didn’t want to take it without all of her children, which is completely fair. But she pointed toward me and said, “Well, I already took pictures with that girl.”
“That girl” being her son’s wife, at our wedding.
That’s why this isn’t about needing to be in every picture. It’s not really about the picture at all. It’s the principle.
I wanted to feel valued enough that my husband’s family would WANT me in their family portrait. Instead, I’m being referred to as “that girl,” and the photo my MIL specifically wanted from our wedding was the one formal family portrait where I wasn’t included.
In any other context, I wouldn’t think twice about a mom wanting a photo with her children. But given the history, her comment, and the fact that my husband and I had specifically agreed we didn’t want that grouping at our wedding, it felt different.
So after she asked for it, I contacted our photographer and had the photo removed from the online gallery.
I know it was petty. The photo exists, and I’m obviously not saying my husband can never take a picture with his family without me. I just don’t want that particular photo in our wedding gallery when it represents the exact dynamic that has made me feel excluded for years.
AITA?

Often times we see folks on AITA post a story and when they don’t get the response they were expecting, OP adds an edit that honestly probably should’ve been included in the post from the get go since it changes the entire story, and gets commenters on OP sides. For example the story could be about OP doing something shitty to someone and the comments say YTA. But then OP adds in that the person also cheated on his wife and then commenters flip flop because “cheaters deserve to die.” What are y’all’s favorite examples of this?