I don't wanna wait until I have tons of items ready before dropping everything at once, I want to build it gradually while also promoting it everytime a new item is out.
But I also want the shop to look like it's "ready"... And not like an experiment...
My therapist made me realize that I need to start worrying about my own needs instead of other people's needs.
Especially when the others' need were asking me to dance together in public... I don't even dance for TikTok or make silly videos.
Well, the dance itself isn't silly, it's traditional, but it's certainly not my hobby/interest.
I said yes at first cause these friends like to push me like, "Come on, sis, we'll do it together."
Well, it's their project. It's not my project. Dancing in public (not on a proper stage) is not something my respectable self would do.
Imagine I bring my instrument and sing outside on the street randomly. It's almost like that. It's different from a proper stage.
First of all, I don't think that my chapter's worth a dime. I write stuff for fun. To let out ideas. And I don't even need readers.
I only need to showcase it so it's out there.
Now, I'm thinking of creating a shop where every creative product that I made is present there, including my novel.
But of course people can't read it unless they buy it. I don't know yet how payment system works but perhaps I can just set up a membership program (even for cheap) so they can read all chapters once they're a member?
I know that they might cancel the membership once they download what they need, haha...
But for me, I just need one single page for everything. I don't like the idea of sharing many links people can visit.
I like writing and talking about stuff, thoughts or unique experiences. But I don't like reading other people's posts.
It's either political heavy, making you think about stuff you never think of before.
Or sometimes it's just the usual life drama, I of course had had my share of depression & suicidal stage but it's really not nice to have to worry about other people when I finally find my personal peace...
On Reddit, I follow subs that match my many hobbies but most of the posts are just the usual beginners looking for advice, nothing really new. There's like a beginner everyday.
Of course I was in that stage too when I joined but I'm here to relax and scroll, not becoming a teacher.
So I had an issue recording my acoustic instruments and it got me frustrated, but after testing out different mics, different gains, different mic placements, I think I can make it work just fine.
Now VSTs can sound good on its own. At least for certain instruments, the ones that don't sound obviously fake.
Now I can listen to this vst instrumental and pretend that it's made of real instruments. But as soon as I slap my vocals on top of it, it clashes with my voice.
My voice sounds very human/organic. I had recorded my vocals accompanied by real instruments and it sounded good. (Though it was just a short test, I'm not ready to play the whole album yet).
I never really heard them being played outside song covers or instrumentals where they only appear during chorus/bridge.
I'm just curious cause the only time I hear bass ocarinas being played as bass is when the melody is also the ocarina itself.
If it's not true, can you give me examples of flute/ocarina being played to 'support melody'?
I don't think I'll ever get to that point but I'm a married woman (although I don't really show it on socials, I do tell people privately).
But these same people also like to flirt with me, sending me kisses emoji. Asking to have a private video call with me or going out alone with me for whatever reasons possible.
It makes me feel icky.
Then I remembered on one of a musician's interview, a girl talked about her unconformity when she received comments like "marry me". Even though it came from her fans.
Am I supposed to feel okay with flirts if I become a known musician?
When I play them, they sound majestic and every note blooms in my ears.
But if I try to record them, I start doubting if my intention to produce music using real instruments instead of easier VST was worth it at all.
With VST, I can finish composing a song in 1 or 2 days max. It's thaaaat easy. I can even use my phone.
And even though the sound quality might be arguable, most people can't tell the difference. Especially if they only care about the lyrics and the singing part.
But with real instruments, it is just so hard to get a good sound. Not because the instruments are bad, but perhaps the mic, the room treatment, etc.
If I can only choose 1 instrument (and one octave) to accompany my singing with simplified arrangement, do I need it to be around C4 (female vocal) or can I choose it to be on C3 instead ?
I'm sorry, I'm just being emotional right now.
Today I listened to my very bad recording from years ago. I struggled so much. I couldn't even sing a verse without a mistake. And I was very out of tune.
But today my singing technique is perfect. It's kinda between head and mixed voice (think of Amy Lee of Evanescence). I really really like singing this way. I trained for years. And I also listen to other bands who use similar vocalist types.
But everytime I try to apply to become a vocalist for a band, and they give me their chosen songs to try, they ALWAYS gave me songs with gritty vocal techniques.
And the genres aren't so different. Same heavy guitar riffs and everything. But the vocals are two different worlds.
I like to sing like an angel but these bands, they want full brutal sound.
I can scream. That's not a problem at all.
But the singing part...
It's not even that I can't do it either. I had succeeded several times in singing with distortion. (Never learned to control it well, my technique is still all over the place)
But it's just...
Come on, I had trained to sing "beautifully" for years... But no one would take me cause every other metal musicians prefer rough singing voice. It's just frustrating to realize that no one wants my angelic voice in their band.
Obviously, I cannot simply choose which sector would recruit me. That would depend on my luck.
However... I start wondering if it's even worth it to continue searching for a restaurant job.
Restaurant jobs are supposed to be 'easy'. Anyone can do it. They even offer student contracts.
Yet it's so hard to land a job in any restaurant. They all want people with years of experience.
The cleaning job, on the other hand, it's so hard to do I believe. But it seems easier to enter. Like anyone can apply and get accepted right away, without any experience at all.
What I don't like about restaurant jobs are the hours. Sometimes you have to work in the afternoon then you have 3 hours of pause where you can go home. But since you live far, most of it is spent on the road.
You may have 1 hour left to relax. But your mind can't fully be relaxed cause your job isn't done yet for the day. You need to go to work again for the evening shift.
And if you can get normal 7 hours without 3 hours break, it's likely that you'd have to work till midnight and arrive home the next day.
It's like your life is fully committed for work. You still have to work when everyone else is asleep.
But cleaning job is probably harder... Although the hours might be better. It's guaranteed that you don't need to have 3 hours of pause or welcoming customers at midnight.
I've been writing music since I was in elementary school. Of course I don't care about the garbage that I wrote when I was a kid.
But when I was in high school, I started writing good stuff. And for years I had been dreaming of making my songs real although I never really put in the work. Didn't really know how to make music. Plus I was delusional to believe that I could sing. 😂
But now... More than a decade later, I'm fully ready to produce my music. I can sing any song, literally... I can play some instruments and I can compose the instrumental.
I have the tools and everything.
But... Right now I'm not sure what to work on first.
Do I make my old dream songs a reality first before working on newer ideas?
Or maybe my newest songs are probably better because I'm more mature in music taste?
At least the stuff that I wrote in my 20s is probably better than the ones from my teenage years? Like better melodies, better lyrics, better arrangements...
Do you have a similar experience?
After buying and trying out many different instruments, I decided to let go of half of them.
It was all fun until I realized that I don't want to take care of too many instruments in the long run.
I will only keep 3 types of instruments (but each one of them is branched into two to get the maximum range).
I don't want to keep two instruments that produce the same exact notes. Or two instruments that look the same but have different tunings and might confuse my muscle memory.
Definitely not something that I expected.
Anyway, after I went there, I somehow couldn't think. Like... I don't know.
I like thinking, I enjoy making big plans even for little things. But it seemed like my brain was suddenly in "resting mode" and I couldn't switch the thinking mode back on.
Like I couldn't think beyond what to eat tonight.
I don't know if maybe I'm just lacking of sleep cause I had to wake up early for the appointment or maybe it's related to the therapy session.
I like all the features that Bandlab has. It also has Denoise for making my home recordings better.
However, I can't help but notice that I almost always find bug sounds somewhere which weren't caused by me.
Like there were always tiny unwanted sounds out of nowhere, or lost of sound for milliseconds.
Let's say I try to record my voice. Using the same exact mic.
If I use an app specialized for voice recording, it's 100% perfect. No unwanted bugs.
But if I record using Bandlab, I would sound like I made a mistake somewhere.