u/Full-Glass-1200

I took to heart the comments on my other post, and gave it another try! here's the rewrite, and the link to og poem at the bottom.

She says the smell makes her nauseous,

cigarette smoke too,

but as the thick scent fills the car

All I can smell

is my childhood.

My mom smoking a joint,

calm for the first time in days.

She apologizes for what she said,

what she did.

I forgive her,

like I always would back then,

but haven't done since.

I would curl up in her lap,

amazed at how gentle she was being,

at how gentle she could be.

The smell accompanied a woman

I rarely got to see.

A woman who laughed and lounged.

A woman who didn't yell,

didn't cry.

It smelled of quiet,

of rare relief.

But all my friend smells

is weed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/s/lRGmqtv53z

She's relaxed

Head reclined

Blunt in hand

eyes closed.

"You know why I'm here?"

I nod. I'm terrified. I'm relieved.

She cracks an eye open.

"Relax. You've been tense your whole life. In this,

you can relax."

Her words comfort me in a way her presence does not.

She opens her legs, and gestures like I am to sit between them.

I do.

I always thought death would be cold,

but as I recline against her,

I find she is a furnace.

She cups my chin in her burning palm,

kissing my shoulder as she holds the joint to my lips.

"Relax," she murmurs into my skin.

I inhale, and taste nothing, feel nothing.

I fall limp,

my head resting against her shoulder.

She kisses my neck, her hands pulling me closer

and closer

until I am falling.

No, not falling,

drifting, floating,

As light as a feather in a breeze.

I always thought death

would feel dire

but as I float away from this world,

I find

she is beautiful.

She's relaxed

Head reclined

Joint in hand

eyes closed.

"You know why I'm here?"

I nod. I'm terrified. I'm relieved.

She cracks an eye open.

"Relax. You've been tense your whole life. In this,

you can relax."

Her words comfort me in a way her presence does not.

She opens her legs, and gestures like I am to sit between them.

I do.

I always thought death would be cold,

but as I recline against her,

I find she is a furnace.

She cups my chin in her burning palm,

kissing my shoulder as she holds the joint to my lips.

"Relax," she murmurs into my flesh.

I inhale, and taste nothing, feel nothing.

I fall limp,

my head resting against her shoulder.

She kisses my neck, her hands pulling me closer

and closer

until I am falling.

No, not falling,

drifting,

floating

As light as a feather in a breeze.

I always thought death

would feel dire

but as I float away from this world,

I find

she is beautiful.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vb1wgn/comment/p1vufe1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vg3jjn/comment/p1vuxn0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share

so me and my girlfriend (we'll call her Sandra) already dated and broke up a while back. I broke up with her because my mental health was bad and I could no longer maintain a relationship and I cared about her too much to put her through that. ive dated two people since then, a guy and a girl. In both of those relationships I would compare them to Sandra and look for pieces of her in them. I ended both of those relationships because I lost feelings. I litterally spent near two years yearning for Sandra, wanting to be with her again and promising myself that if she ever gave me another chance, I wouldn't waste it. I texted her awhile back and I found out that she also has felt the same way. Now we are dating again. It was so so good at the start. Now, I'm becoming depressed again. Not because of her, but just life. I feel so drained that I can barely hold any kind of conversation of substance with her, I can barely say good morning and goodnight. It almost feels like I'm losing feelings, but I can't tell if it's just a side effect of my bad mental health or if I genuinely lost feelings. I also feel like our relationship is in that beginning phase where I can't really talk about it with her, I don't even really want to. I don't want to break up. I did it once and spent two years regretting it. what do I do.

TL;DR: I got back with my ex after two years of regret, but my depression returned and left me emotionally numb. I can’t tell if I’m losing feelings or just drained, and I need advice on how to fix this without breaking up again.

She says the smell makes her nauseous.

Cigarette smoke too.

It reminds me of another difference between us.

She can't stand it,

and it brings me comfort.

It reminds me of my childhood,

my mom smoking a joint,

calm for the first time in days.

She apologizes for what she said,

what she did.

I forgive her, like I always did,

like I always would.

The smell

accompanied a woman

I rarely got to see.

A woman who laughed and lounged.

A woman who didn't yell,

didn't hit.

It reminds me of quiet,

of rare relief.

But all my friend smells

is weed.

She says the smell makes her nauseous.

Cigarette smoke too.

It reminds me of another difference

between us.

She can't stand it,

and it brings me comfort.

It reminds me of my childhood,

my mom smoking a joint,

calm for the first time in days.

She apologizes for what she said,

what she did.

I forgive her,

like I always did,

like I always would.

The smell

accompanied a woman

I rarely got to see.

A woman who laughed and lounged.

A woman who didn't yell,

didn't hit.

It reminds me of quiet,

of rare relief.

But all my friend smells

is weed.

This is less a poem and more a rant in a strange format.

She says the smell makes her nauseous.

Cigarette smoke too.

It reminds me of another difference between us.

She can't stand it,

and it brings me comfort.

It reminds me of my childhood,

my mom smoking a joint,

calm for the first time in days.

She apologizes for what she said,

what she did.

I forgive her,

like I always did,

like I always would.

The smell accompanied a woman

I rarely got to see.

A woman who laughed and lounged.

A woman who didn't yell,

didn't hit.

It reminds me of quiet,

of rare relief.

But all my friend smells

is weed.

this is less a poem and more a rant in an odd format.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v2vu7b/comment/oyz7cf4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v2yndo/comment/oyz7mkb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

So I have self harmed on and off for 5 years now. I've been clean for almost 4 months, so all my cuts have healed and are now scars. but my scars are all very wide and long and raised, and turn bright purple when I am too cold or too hot. They are all on one thigh, on the side of the upper thigh going up my hip. I am going on a family trip soon, and on this trip we are tubing down a river for 3 hours. my bathing suit is essentially a tank top and shorts because this offers the most coverage of my scars. it sucks that I have to choose clothes based on concealing mistakes, but that's how it is. My friends know I have cut, and my parents know I used to cut, but they think that I stopped the first time I was caught like a year in. I do not want to traumatize them with that horrific a sight. my shorts are long enough to cover them standing, but in a float, going down a river, I'm not sure how much they'll ride up at any given time. I'm not looking for tips on how to stop self harming, I'm already in therapy and this is the longest I've ever been clean. I want to know tips on how to better conceal them and avoid accidently flashing my family. I'm less worried about the tank top riding up because I can just tuck it in, but my shorts will cause a problem.

I'm afraid

that if you get too close

you will smell it

You will know

that I was born coughing,

My mother holding me in one arm

and cradling a joint in the other

I grew up suffocating

stumbling over ash trays

and choking on cigarette smoke

if you come too close

I'm sure you will see it

pouring from eyes

seeping from my pores

cemented into my flesh

I've scrubbed at my skin

with soap and razor blades

for 23 years

I've drenched myself in perfumes

and sweat

and blood

ripped apart my body

and barely been able to hold it all together

so please

gather each broken shard of me

in your arms

hold me close

and tell me,

can you smell it?

can you smell it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ualev8/comment/osplnt9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1ualcuu/comment/ospm06i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

I'm afraid

that if you get too close

you will smell it

You will know

that I was born coughing

My mother holding me in one arm

and cradling a joint in the other

I grew up suffocating

stumbling over ash trays

and choking on cigarette smoke

if you come too close

you will see it

pouring from eyes

seeping from my pores

cemented into my flesh

I've scrubbed at my skin

with soap and razor blades

for 23 years

I've drenched myself

in perfumes

and sweat

and blood

ripped apart my body

and barely been able

to hold it all together

so please

gather each broken shard of me

in your arms

hold me close

and tell me,

can you smell it?

can you smell it?