u/FunInflation5316

Im 24, studying to become a teacher but the subjects i chose feel so wrong. Im thinking of changing them i am constantly worried about making impulsive decisions and being the oldest friend ( literally) who still has nothing figured out. everyone says its ok to be late and whatever but i feel like they dont understand my guilt and self doubt.

i hate how i have the privilege to do anything like i have good parents, i can afford food, a place to live, i can literally go to uni, i have a healthy body, i like the way i look and yet i…self sabotage by not having any goals.

because my biggest fears are being a failure and being perceived by people. i hate showing my weaknesses. my fears. i hate looking stupid. i want to be smart, i want to shine and show my personality instead of hiding it. i talk to my friends. they all get glow ups because they have goals. they can go through the hardships and struggles BECAUSE they have goals.

but i give up immediately once things get hard because i think…i dont enjoy my life. i dont enjoy what im doing. i fucking hate this system. i want to be free.

i was so impulsive that i even changed countries for a stupid friend only to move back to my hometown 3 weeks later and regretting not choosing myself.

i need to detach myself from other people. i dont want to be the person i am, i know i can shine way more but i have no passions i never had. went to therapy and all but they couldnt help me either. i dont know what gives me passion and if i have a ,,passion‘‘ its idealistic and makes me ignore reality. i cant dream anymore. i want to learn how to fucking detach myself from people and do whatever the fuck i want…but i cant…i love people too much for that….i am constantly running away. i dont want to be judged anymore. i grew up getting judged my whole life. i want to be good….i dont care if i have friends if i hate myself. i hate hating myself when i was born into a privileged life…. :(

Almost 24. Im scared it will continue. I had imagined to live in a great home, have parttime jobs and money, not struggle with university and anxiety but I have lost so much money this year because of my impulsivity. I am behind in classes. I live somewhere that is pretty visually but takes 15min walking up a mountain. I failed my drivers license 4 times and then gave up due to not having money. Everyone goes forward, I feel stuck. Behind.

I look outside, the summer breeze hitting. The wind and fresh air. The world is colorful and my heart yearns for this cozy summer air with no worries. But I am living in misery i have built for myself.

I want to travel, buy myself nice stuff. Look pretty, stylish.

But I cant. I dont know how to live.

Idk what to do with feeling behind and impatient. I want to be with my parents, make them proud, travel with them but I dont deserve it, yet. I am impatient. Oh summer breeye, you feel so great on my skin. oh summer air, how much….I long for you…but its still a long path ahead.

How do you know you‘re an Enfj? I kinda wanna figure out if I am one but I constantly hear that I focus on my feelings more than those of others. I love helping people if it means they can grow and I can see results from it.

Or listening to them because…I gain new information while they feel better for ranting.

I was also very solution oriented until Ive learned that people only want empathy so now when I listen I really just avoid giving analysis and solutions ( I feel better now)

Im becoming a teacher because I had a shitty support system at school and dont want kids to go through the same ever. Especially kids who are more quiet etc. I want everyone to grow up believing in themselves and feel like they can come to me if they need someone.

But thats really all, I can grow bored of people fast too. My brain always needs to gain something? I also like going to class and vibing with my teacher or some other students if they interest me. If im not interested in the students I show it. I feel like my emotions are so visible outside? Even when I am quiet people can guess some stuff right about me like ‘‘Youre probably someone who likes flowers‘‘

People really like me and my kindness, I wish I knew more of life though and also was a little bit more confident to support people more.

Idk im kinda idealistic, my goal is to just lead and support and goof around sometimes.

Had social anxiety the moment I turned 7 like. It was weird switch that I remember visibly because it was my first day of school and suddenly I always panicked and felt like Im not good enough and a burden and so on it confused child me too but I guess that explains a lot how the kindergarten teachers treated me!!!!! :D Wow!

Anyway. Now as an adult in early 20s I hate how I am wasting my life with anxiety. Escaping reality. I just wanna be with myself and the nature. I really am scared to grow older and regret not having taken care of myself, of my youth. Im getting an existential crisis idk what to do I want to cry rn

I wish I could enjoy life and put effort into myself without the fear

I keep looking for a job but get rejected. Im a student, live alone. I mostly eat one time a day only. Two times if Im lucky.

I cant do this adult thing. Buying enough groceries, cooking. Due to the lack of money I keep buying cheap stuff mostly snacks.

I cant live without snacks my mind needs to know that I have something to snack on because I developed this fear from never eating enough.

I think I have executive dysfunction, even just taking care of my home is hard. Im not depressed my therapist said so but

Pls any advice how to adult properly? I never learned it and Im overwhelmed by all the possibilities

I really dont know how much to eat or hust anything to not stay hungry all day anymore. I want to feel full and not think of food anymore. I just wanna focus on my studies or life and have energy for smth again

Im early 20s

I noticed I turn much more direct and meaner the closer I am to someone. Im really not proud of that side of mine but it is who I am since I was a child its like today was a situation where I thought like people think I am stupid sometimes as in they explain the most obvious stuff to me like VERY obvious stuff. Let me give a straight example

Normal friend: “Grass is green” [explains very detailed that grass is green and the sky has clouds]

Me: Mhm [nods]

Closer friend: “Well grass is green and the sky has clouds you know “

Me: “ I obviously know that what”

Its like I am not scared to say my opinion and I turn so mean somehow more sarcastic. I am scared bc I dont wanna fall back into teenage me that controls friends with my attitude

Sooo I found out I may be an Estj which is insane. What are the signs? And please no stereotypes. I think Estj are really deep interesting beings let me know everything you wanna spill <3

infps are wonderful philosophical people with big hearts and a creativity that touches my heart.

but all my life i struggled with my personality.

i make friends easily and people like being around me because im helpful and a good listener and fun but i feel like i am never reaching my full potential.

i have dreams that i cannot work to achieve. i struggle to live in this world, its system, its rules even though i really want to.

i messed up a lot my whole life and this year i just want to focus on my studies and get very good grades for the first time in life but socializing, following responsibilities stresses me so much that i just retreat and sleep.

i want to be more positive, more confident about myself. i have the potential for so much but i cant help retreating and being negative

i dont wanna be in my head all the time or anxious. i am so in denial with being an infp. idk if its just trauma from getting criticized and having to stay quiet as a kid or if its just me

i feel like my whole personality is just avoiding reality and running away. I have neglected so many creative hobbies this year to focus more on reality. I dont even have social media or online friends anymore to focus more on the present. The only creative thing i do is taking pictures and videos of nature around me

Hey so I need over 12 hours of sleep daily to just function which is terrible because it takes away so much of my time for studying etc. I assume I need to sleep so much because I dont eat enough due to not having enough money or just being exhausted constantly doing groceries or deciding what to eat.

I tbh just wanna be left alone I think I am stressed from socializing too much ans lack of food and the stress of upcoming exams. Idk what to do anymore

I just woke up from 14 hours of sleep and I feel good but yeah

I loved sleeping a lot since I was a baby

I love people and I must say this year Ive learned who I really am and why I feel exhausted etc.

It is when I do things that are against my morals and wishes for example EVERYTIME IM BUSY people suddenly invite me to hangout for hours and hours and I feel bad to decline those I didnt see for months so I go even though I need to save up these hours to study for my exams or just do my own stuff and I really am getting a social burnout for always saying yes when I wanna say no.

i was thinking that I either need to take my studies seriously in my calendar or I need a job AND a new hobby like some sport to have valid arguments why I dont wanna meet people anymore

I am not the “I wanna avoid people forever” kind of introvert I really am curious about the world and people but I struggle at managing multiple tasks at the same time. If I have classes I ONLY wanna focus on classes and studying for them.

Forced hangouts feel like a disorder in my system I cant control

I still meetup with some people because it will benefit me in the future but man I am SO. fucking. exhausted. I just want to be alone

Sooo first I am straight and female and Ive never had a partner in my entire life I‘m already in my twenties. In uni I am for the first time after years in a class with a bunch of people of the opposite sex and mind you during school I didnt have positive experiences with them, which makes sense because we were all immature and kids.

Now in uni the guys are nice to me which I still have to like….grasp??? Like wdym you are nice to me and I can be nice to you without you thinking I want to kiss and date you immediately? Wdym you dont judge me and actually have conversations with me?

It is SO. hard to grasp mind you.

Anyway in this class is a guy Ive been intereste in platonically ( I think…? Well for now) and today we had a group project together where I listened to him talk and he listened to me talk. Mind you I always nod and ask more questions when talking to people more than doing the talking myself so when I opened up a bit with my fears during spontaneous tasks my social anxiety was killing me inside but he constantly said ,,Yeah I get it I feel the same‘‘ and he also helped me gain new perspectives during the group project and was kind. We also kept eye contact and he smiled at me sometimes.

Weeks prior where I began to trust him was when he greeted me even though I sat in a corner by myself. Then I saw him somewhere outside of class and he was looking at me so I greeted him and him me back. Today I greeted him.

In a few weeks this class will end and I will probably never see him again because we study different things ( we only shared this class ) so I was wondering should I ask if we could stay friends after this class even though I have no idea how to keep this friendship because I feel awkward imagining hangout plans I deadass dunno how to keep a friendship with him or should I just…move on and keep him as a nice memory for the rest of my life and kinda yearn the friendship.

I dont wanna rush things or seem like I am in love but I also dont wanna seem too reserved. I think he does think Im kind but then again in todays convo I noticed that hes pretty laid back and he doesnt SEEM like someone to put much thought into things that I naturally worry about.

Tbh I think I could learn great things from him and he about me because we are different yet also a bit similar but I really never had a friendship or whatever with a guy I am so overthinking.

In todays convo it also seemed like he is almost done with uni which I am not idk

Maybe I will wait to see how things are next week but yeah I NEED TO GET OVER MY SOCIAL ANXIETY AND JUST BE ME which is still hard because no matter where I go since childhood I am always kind yet cautious and a bit reluctant at the beginning. But his kindness showed me that he doesnt really care about me being quiet am I too romantic? Too idealistic? Its the bare minimum for everyone but new for me. I just really dont wanna live in fear anymore my bad bye

I love my friends but I hate meeting them during my freetime where I could study or work on my hobbies instead. Getting ready, meeting them, going back home takes so much time of your day and then I am tired and need to sleep which is another time waste in my eyes

I dont wanna be a bad person though because my former bestfriend was like that too and I hated it when she never had the energy to do something and now I notice that Im the same??

The question says all

Hey I think Im an ambivert though people call me introvert. I have a charisma that makes me get along with a lot of people I just meet. I am well liked around new people I meet and I often ( sometimes) get called to hangout especially from mothers because they like my laid back and well behaved nature and we sometimes meet for some tea. The thing is I love talking with them over some tea but since they have younger children I get irritated by the distraction even though I THINK I like the kids…or am I just saying i do? Their kids in particular are very energetic. I guess I vibe with kids who are like me better, dunno.

Anyway around friends my whole life I was always the listener. Always. Whenever I wanted to talk about things I liked I got interrupted or the topic switched immediately or they didnt take it seriously and and and very often. Even ONLINE LIKE HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE IN ONLINE CONVERSATIONS. People would always ignore my passions but only talk to me if I had something to complain about which I hate because I dont wanna complain my whole life to people and seem like a negative person.

But daily things? The book Im reading? What happened last week? They dont fucking care.

I only have one university friend whom I love to listen to because she also listens to me and we vibe and I get a lot of energy around her and I do not feel judged around her and she doesnt around me. We are quite similar. Shes the only friend who doesnt bore me.

I have another friend I like but with her I lose energy because of my social anxiety.

Whenever people invite me somewhere I dont like I would rather nnot go, it doesnt help my social anxiety to always decline. I would prefer just studying all day or visiting cafes or watching movies idk just…do things I like…

Its hard to know what I like. Sometimes i force myself to things because what if i miss out on life? but then again…what if how i am and what i do is exactly that what brings me joy? what if i do not need to fo so much or is my brain just escaping again? because my whole life i wanted a lot of friends ( i do) but

being the listener all the time… is a pain

but then talking a lot too because what if i expose myself too much, what if i seem negative

i love a balance and harmony but i have the curse to be a listener except with that one friend

but then again there are seminars where i meet friends i can talk to and theyre the listener sometimes and i am

do i need a new view on life? i love my friends but i hate myself in current situations

i hate being an introvert i am so in denial i am SO in denial i just always feel guilty for being at peace because what if i miss out on joy that i can never get anyway if i fight against my nature?! fuck my overthinking

Hey. Ich hatte meinen ersten Arbeitstag als Empfangsmitarbeiter bei ‘nem Massagesalon und mir wurde alles ein paar Tage zuvor erklärt, aber danach wurde ich beim Arbeitstag allein gelassen mit Mitarbeitern die kein Deutsch sprechen.

Anschließend kam ein Ehepaar zu mir für einen Termin und die Frau wurde zu einem Raum gebracht während der Mann noch wartete. ich habe den Massageuren durchgehend gesagt, dass der Mann zur Frau gehört und die Massageurin hat 20Minuten “Neinnn” gesagt like wtf 💀 Ich habe sogar Google Übersetzer henutzt und es hat nichts geklappt

Nach 20Minuten hat sie ihn genommen aber er war schon angepisst und jetzt haben wir eine schlechte Rezension von denen erhalten, an meinem Arbeitstag 💀 Ich wollte mein Leben auf die Reihe bringen mit einer Verantwortung aber das war einfach gar nicht gut

Ich weiss nicht was ich tun soll denn der Laden hatte durchgehend 5 Sterne und jetzt 4,9 ( 2 Sterne von dem Paar) wegen mir obwohl eigentlich ist es gar nicht meine Schuld aber ICH stehe an der Theke also wiekt es so als wäre es meine Schuld

Hello. I relate a lot to Intjs and have always struggled with finding my mbti because my whole life I had to repress myself or got critiziced when I was myself, which is why until a few months ago I was constantly in a stressed mode.

Like impulsive, not having backup plans, skipping school etc, not executing things

I never learned those things and chose running away to survive or to not conform to society as rebelion or chasing for validation instead of finding solutions

I wanted to ask if I am still Intj for finally being out of that mental fog and learning how to plan with backup plans, to execute MY plans and to do whatever is good for MY life instead of chasing others

Thanks - young adult