u/Glad-Cat-1885

Me and my bf were at a mattress store earlier where we live in Mississippi. It is super hot outside today at 95 degrees and it’s almost unbearable to stay outside very long. We were at this mattress store for a while and this young guy had been in there for atleast 15 minutes before we left. When we walked outside we heard a dog barking and it was a Pomeranian in a car in front of the mattress store that had tinted windows. I told my bf it was probably hot and that’s why it was barking maybe. Idk if I’m tripping or not I just read about the bystander effect and I didn’t want a little dog to die in case the owner wasn’t coming back soon.

So we went into the mattress store just to ask if it was anyone’s dog and that it might be hot in the car. The young guy said it was his and that it was just barking cause it misses him. Then he went outside to put the air on for the dog and said to someone on the phone that he had only been inside for two minutes. My bf agreed that it was good to say something at first and thought the guys reaction was weird. Shortly after this my bf said maybe we put him on the spot and shouldn’t have said anything because the guys reaction was weird and we are both overthinkers lol. I disagree because who knows how long he could’ve been in the store. Cars get very hot in this kind of weather but idk. Am I the ah??

Edit: my bf wasn’t saying we should’ve not told anyone about the dog he just was questioning if we were mean about it or something because the dog owner was being weird about it

Me (21) and my bf (33) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and hadn’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

On sunday I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. He also turned on his activity on Spotify and started listening to music on it which he never does because he exclusively uses the telegram deezer music thing.

I replied to him a couple nights ago saying that I don’t know why he reached out just to criticize me and that I missed him and loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he was just sending me a simple message because he thought I was having obsessive thoughts because of the music I was listening to. I asked why he stalked me and he said he gets bored sometimes and just sees what changes I’ve made to my profile. He then told me to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in me at all several times and does not want me.

I was like ok and stopped talking to him after this. I shared my playlist with some people online and they were guys. They followed me and I made a collaborative playlist with one of them. My ex stalks my Spotify and saw this and got mad over and over but said if I blocked them we could talk. So I did this and we started talking again but he was being dry af and I was like why did I even do this only for you to be boring. Then he got super mad again and kept saying fuck you and that he’s not interested in me and im immature and that he doesn’t like me or want me. I responded that he obviously does like and want me if he’s stalking me on Spotify to see what I’m doing. He blocked my number but did not block me on Spotify. I miss him so much I wish he could see my worth and value and that I’m good to him.

I’m 21f open to being friends with either gender as long as there’s no weird stuff. I love video games. I play phasmophobia a lot lately. I love Spotify and adding to my playlists. I like cooking and going outside and watching movies and tv. I live in southwest ohio. Thank you

Me (21) and my bf (33) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and hadn’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

On sunday I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. He also turned on his activity on Spotify and started listening to music on it which he never does because he exclusively uses the telegram deezer music thing.

I replied to him last night saying that I don’t know why he reached out just to criticize me and that I missed him and loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he was just sending me a simple message because he thought I was having obsessive thoughts because of the music I was listening to. I asked why he stalked me and he said he gets bored sometimes and just sees what changes I’ve made to my profile. He then told me to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in me at all several times and does not want me.

AITA for responding to him and being upset over this situation? This behavior is so confusing and hurtful and I feel like it’s just not right. I am so upset and I just miss him and love him

TL;DR ex bf stalked my socials and texted me after telling me to leave him alone for a month several times and got pissed when I responded to his text

Edit: logically yes I should forget about him forever but he was promiscuous before me and gave me herpes so I feel like he’s my best choice

Me (21) and my bf (33) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and hadn’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

On sunday I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. He also turned on his activity on Spotify and started listening to music on it which he never does because he exclusively uses the telegram deezer music thing.

I replied to him last night saying that I don’t know why he reached out just to criticize me and that I missed him and loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he was just sending me a simple message because he thought I was having obsessive thoughts because of the music I was listening to. I asked why he stalked me and he said he gets bored sometimes and just sees what changes I’ve made to my profile. He then told me to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in me at all several times and does not want me.

AITJ for responding to him and being upset over this situation? This behavior is so confusing and hurtful and I feel like it’s just not right. I am so upset and I just miss him and love him

TL;DR ex bf stalked my socials and texted me after telling me to leave him alone for a month several times and got pissed when I responded to his text

Edit: logically yes I should forget about him forever but he was promiscuous before me and gave me herpes so I feel like he’s my best choice

Me (21) and my bf (33) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and hadn’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

On sunday I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. He also turned on his activity on Spotify and started listening to music on it which he never does because he exclusively uses the telegram deezer music thing.

I replied to him last night saying that I don’t know why he reached out just to criticize me and that I missed him and loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he was just sending me a simple message because he thought I was having obsessive thoughts because of the music I was listening to. I asked why he stalked me and he said he gets bored sometimes and just sees what changes I’ve made to my profile. He then told me to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in me at all several times and does not want me.

AITAH for responding to him and being upset over this situation? This behavior is so confusing and hurtful and I feel like it’s just not right. I am so upset and I just miss him and love him

Edit: logically yes I should forget about him forever but he was promiscuous before me and gave me herpes so I feel like he’s my best choice

Me (21) and my bf (33) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and haven’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

On sunday I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. He also turned on his activity on Spotify and started listening to music on it which he never does because he exclusively uses the telegram deezer music thing.

I replied to him last night saying that I don’t know why he reached out just to criticize me and that I missed him and loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he was just sending me a simple message because he thought I was having obsessive thoughts because of the music I was listening to. I asked why he stalked me and he said he gets bored sometimes and just sees what changes I’ve made to my profile. He then told me to leave him alone and that he’s not interested in me at all several times and does not want me.

What should I do? This behavior is so confusing and hurtful but I love him so much

Me (21) and my bf (33…) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and haven’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

Today I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. he also sent me a message before those but deleted it

What should I do ? He said we absolutely could not talk for a month basically which I’ve respected and then he just texts me first lmao

Me (21) and my bf (33…) broke up on the first. He had to drive me home since I was living with him in another state. While dropping me off he told me he loved me and was crying with me. The next morning I asked him if he got home safely and then asked him if we would ever talk again because he hadn’t mentioned that. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and said he wanted at least a month of space and that I was suffocating him. He was being very rude while saying this too so I just told him I loved him and haven’t messaged him since

It was a mutual breakup. We’d been arguing over several things. He’s too distant and hot and cold for my liking. He thinks I’m controlling because I don’t like certain untrustworthy behaviors he has after he was disloyal in the beginning of our relationship. He snaps at me easily and is loving one day then cold for several days and repeat.

Today I was listening to my Spotify playlist (I have my activity on) and he messaged me saying this: “Why do you swap from love song to the hateful song why not just listen to regular fun music. Or different stuff than love or hate song.” He’s asked me this before and I told him I just like how the music sounds and dont focus on any messages in it. he also sent me a message before those but deleted it

What should I do ? He said we absolutely could not talk for a month basically which I’ve respected and then he just texts me first lmao

Me and my ex bf i guess (12 years older than me) have a good connection but lately have argued too much because we both chronically overthink stuff. He has done some horrible things to me but I always forgive him. We spent all day together because neither of us really have anything else to do. Our arguing has become too much lately and I’m aware of that and he says he feels suffocated and I don’t feel secure at all due to him being inconsistent. He drove me home yesterday since I was living with him in a different state and gave me a hug while we were at the store and then when dropping me off I suddenly couldn’t suppress my emotions anymore and could not stop crying. We hugged several times and laughed a bunch and kissed and he cried with me. I’ve only seen him cry like four times.

I told myself I wouldn’t annoy the shit out of him and just not text him but I was worried about him driving so much so I asked him this morning if he made it safe . Then I started spiraling because I wanted him to clarify if we were broke up forever . We broke up two months ago for two weeks and I was just so annoying towards him and wouldn’t give him the space he asked for. He said he wouldn’t see other people during this time but tried to hook up with others and buy escorts despite having herpes (he gave me it). I found out he was doing this and told him he needed to come get me if he wanted me to feel ok about the situation. He picked me up and told me while he was alone he couldn’t help but love me and wished I was there with him.

Today while texting I wanted him to clarify the same shit about if it’s forever or not. He brought up how much I annoyed him during our last breakup and said I was doing it again. I told him I was just confused this time because he was so emotional and said he loved me this time we broke up and not the last time. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone and I felt so helpless just trying to explain why I was so anxious about the situation. He said I have anxious pressuring questioning energy but I just wanted to clarify stuff. He told me this “Its the same repeated thing over and over. We're doing this again. Yes i love you and think you are a good person but i do not want to be in a relationship, not right now, maybe later but thats not something i can just tell you "how long" about. I dont want to go about my day every single day knowing youre thinking about pressuring me or asking all these questions. I just want to be left alone.” And then said I should give him so much space he won’t know what to do with it for at least a month.

The last text I sent him was this and I’m praying to god I can restrain myself to not text him more: “I love you no matter what if you don't respond or whatever I'm going to work on myself this month and I hope you do too . I really hope you remain in my life when it's over”

I know I have anxious attachment but I literally cannot think about anything but him he has been my whole life the past year . I don’t want to lose him forever even though he’s not even a good boyfriend. I constantly check my phone to see if he’s texted me. I think he will probably end up texting me before the month is over since he hates being lonely despite wanting to be alone but maybe I’m just delusional. I’m 21 and he’s my first serious true love and I have a trauma bond with him. This is a vent post I guess but if anyone has advice about not checking his socials constantly and having to suppress the STRONG urge to text him I’d appreciate it. I think if I work on my attachment and get on mood stabilizers I will be able to not text him and maybe he’ll see that I’m respecting him and will reconsider . Thanks for reading if anyone did I know it was a rough ride and I’d appreciate any advice or companionship because this dude was my best and only friend