u/Goldengirl_1977

Were any other GenXers here in a sorority in college? If so, what do you remember about the experience and about rush?

I was in one of the well known sororities in college (think Kappa Kappa Gamma, Tri-Delt, etc.) and as an adult, I’ve thought much more about all of the negatives and things I didn’t like about it. There were positives, but also a lot of negatives. I’ve also come to the sobering realization that I probably wouldn’t have been extended a membership bid had I not been a legacy to my sorority several times over- Mom, older sis, paternal grandmother and her three sisters were all members of the same sorority. By today’s standards, I probably wouldn’t have been invited to join any house and it gives me the icks.

Anyway, for whatever reason, the Instagram algorithm wizards have decided I need more sorority content in my feed and I’ve been bombarded the past few days with videos from rush week at all of the big universities — Alabama, Georgia, Arkansas, etc.

What struck me is how different things are from when I was in college (mid/late 90s), how ridiculously over the top the whole process is now and how obscene amounts of money are being spent on decorations, party supplies and choreographed TikTok videos, not to mention the thousands it apparently costs to join and be a member.

I’ve watched some of these videos and to this cranky old lady GenXer, they’re all alike and lack originality. Every damn house has spent tens of thousands of dollars on hiring designers, installing elaborate balloon displays, bringing in live bands and having matching outfits made. Months go into planning these elaborate setups. And the TikTok videos are all the same — everyone’s wearing booty shorts and whipping their hair around like they’re NFL cheerleaders. It seems like each house is trying to outdo and outspend the next one, yet they all end up looking exactly the same.

It also baffles me that people are hiring and paying thousands to so-called “rush coaches” in hopes of helping their daughters get into “top” houses. Since when dod that become a thing?

And can we talk about all of the people boasting on social media about their interior designer-arranged dorm rooms? Apparently, hiring a designer to do up dorms is now a thing, too.

I don’t remember it being this over the top and expensive when I was in college. Granted, the university I went to was smaller than Alabama and the others, but still. We did all of the decorating and setup for rush and there were no coordinators, designers or whatever involved. And no choreographed ”sexy cheerleader” videos, either.

Posted week before last about the situation with my longtime family home, my older sibling and the 40-year-old HVAC system that died and needed replacing. Since I am a resident but not - or not yet - full owner of the house, the replacement was to be paid for out of my late dad’s trust account, which has money remaining and designated for situations like this. Unfortunately, my sibling has been a verbally and emotionally abusive bully for years, particularly since our dad’s diagnosis, and thus far has refused to sell me her share of the house despite not wanting it for herself and already having a much nicer home of her own.

I have been searching unsuccessfully so far for another house even though I would very much prefer to stay here and buy out the other half. Even if I did want to move, there’s nowhere for me to move to right now.

Anyway, I held off on the HVAC replacement simply because I didn’t want to have to deal with more of her behavior and knew she would raise hell and start harassing me again when money came out of the trust account. She was aware the HVAC was kaput, but I still held off because of everything she has put me through so far.

Am within my rights as a trustee to make such decisions and use that account for such purposes - confirmed by a lawyer — but it does not matter to her. She wants to call all of the shots and I am apparently not allowed (in her mind) to make any decisions even when it is absolutely necessary and for safety reasons. If I do proceed, I become a target all over again.

Finally went through with the replacement after three months of getting by with two portable AC units. It just became unmanageable and the weather here is far too hot now to keep going like that. The difference is incredible. Once everything was installed, the technician set the new thermostat at 75 degrees, which I always thought was warm for indoor temps in summer, but is actually very comfortable. I think the difference is because the house isn’t humid anymore and no longer feels like a swamp.

Got the replacement done on a Friday and the following week, my sibling showed up at the house unannounced and driven by her former boyfriend. It was the day after the check to the HVAC company would have cleared from the bank. so the timing wasn’t a coincidence.

I wasn’t at home and received a text from a neighbor who saw her trying to get in and fumbling around with her arm stuck inside the front door in an attempt to undo the chain, which I had put up. She stopped when she saw that the neighbor was watching and claimed she was “just trying to get a hold of” me.

Anyway, I am now facing another urgent household situation and expense, so am of course fretting over that and having to deal with my sibling even more.

An old tree in the backyard dropped several large, heavy limbs yesterday and the whole thing appears to have died. Had I or my dogs been outside when the limbs fell, we could have been seriously injured, if not killed. It is a safety issue at this point, not to mention a damage risk to the yard and fence on that side. There is another very large limb oerhanging that section of our yard that coud break off at any time

The tree must be removed as soon as possible and I am trying to round up several quotes as I did for the HVAC. Have had one tree company come out so far and was quoted $3,800 for removal and stump grinding or $3,500 w/out the stump grinding.

Just wondering if any other GenXers here have had to have a tree removed and approximately how much it cost. Also could use some words of comfort, as I am fretting over having this done and the very likely possibility of having to deal with my sibling and more of her behavior.😞

Wondering if anyone here has gone through IVF in their late 40s or even early 50s and how that experience went for you?

I am in my late 40s, single and have never had children despite always wanting very much to meet the love of my life and to become a mom. I know it is probably too late for me and I should have done something about it sooner, but I still wonder sometimes if it’s a possibility.

I have regular, normal menstrual cycles, have not yet gone through menopause and have not been experiencing any symptoms of perimenopause. My mom went through menopause quite late, so I imagine I will follow a similar path. In spite of all of that, I know the odds of conceiving, much less carrying a pregnancy to term at my age with whatever eggs I have left are very, very slim to none and I would most likely require IVF and donor eggs to have children.

Just wondering if anyone here has had any experience with IVF at a later age.

Does anyone else ever struggle with reaching out to others when you’re lonely because you generally get nowhere whenever you do decide to reach out? It just seems like no one is ever available or bothers to answer or return calls or messages. People are always saying to reach out, but when you do, all you get is crickets.

I am dreadfully lonely - single, never married, no children, little in the way of true friends — plenty on Facebook, but nobody close in “real life” and not one single person I could count on in a pinch. I soend most days completely alone and it is killing me. I have tried all of things people say to do to get “out there” and it isn’t helping. I feel invisible and overlooked most of the time and no one seems to want to make room for one more person at the table.

My parents have both passed away and I am estranged from both older siblings, one by choice (verbally and emotionally abusive) and one not (decided to blow me off because of the bully sibling’s chaos). Not a lot of extended family around, either.

No one ever reaches out to me first or bothers to call and check on me. My efforts at reaching out pretty much go unrewarded. This past week has been a tough one for me and I so needed to talk to somebody, but couldn’t find anyone. I tried reaching out to several people, including an older cousin, but none answered and my cousin only called me back several days later to tell me she was heading out of town, but could maybe check in with me next week.

I feel so defeated anymore and like it isn’t even worth the effort. And I always worry about bothering other people or coming off as needy and pathetic. which I certainly don’t want to do, but sometimes I just need to hear a friendly voice.

Sometimes I start thinking about things like what would happen if I got kidnapped or fell off a ladder and was knocked unconscious. Things like that. Odds are, no one would ever notice or be concerned enough to check in or come looking for me. Nor would they be available to help. It’s really scary and sad to be that alone.

Just wondering if anyone else can relate to being this alone.

I’m a GenXer in my late 40s, never married and I don’t have any kids. I’ve always wanted very much to meet the love of my life and have a family with him, but it‘s just never happened for me. That’s one of many things contributing to how lonely and unfulfilled I feel right now. And before anyone thinks to say it, yes, I know a woman does not need a man/partner or children to be fulfilled, but I can’t help how I feel.

If by some miracle I met Mr. Wonderful tomorrow, though, and had the opportunity to have a child with him, I absolutely would do it, all the while knowing I’d probably get a lot of flak for it because of my age.

Which brings me to the subject of this post. I just read a new article about Anthony Michael Hall and how he says becoming a first-time father at age 55 - he’s now 58 — changed his life, how wonderful it is, etc. He’s of course married to a younger woman in her mid 30s. He seems genuinely happy and they look like a nice little family in the photos accompanying the article.

What gets me are all of the comments from readers. I didn’t see a single one criticizing him for his age, calling him “Grandpa,” “too old,” “selfish,” or saying he’ll be in a wheelchair/nursing home/dead/whatever by the time the kid graduates high school. No incredulous comments from others saying how they couldn’t imagine being a parent at this age, how exhausted they would be and so on. All of the comments were positive and supportive with people expressing their happiness for him.

Were it a story about a 50-something woman becoming a new parent, you can bet there’d be a million negative and snarky comments. I have noticed this with other stories on older dads, too — John Stamos, Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Luke Wilson, to name a few. They get praise and compliments and their little bundles of joy are oohed and aahed over by readers, but when it’s a woman, the criticism, shaming, ageism and snarky comments come out, many of them from other women.

What gives? Why the double standards? Even in the medical community you have the ageis labels like “advanced maternal age,” but no equivalent terms for older fathers. I know they’re not the ones carrying the child, but still. What gives?

Apologies for venting again. Fell asleep last night and then woke up a couple of hours ago (just before 2 a.m. my time). I have so much on my mind and I sure could use some words of comfort or support.

I posted earlier about the situation with my longtime family home where I still live, an older sister that’s been verbally and emotionally abusive and having to get the HVAC system replaced, which will be paid out of my late dad’s trust account. Also the frustration at not being able to find an attorney to assist me in dealing with my sister.

Am of course dreading the inevitable blowup and likely harassment and who knows what else that is sure to follow from my sister. I’ve put off the HVAC replacement for three months and have been getting by with two portable AC units, but can no longer manage due to extremely hot weather.

The HVAC crew is supposed to come between 7 and 8 this morning and will likely be here all day. I still haven’t cleaned out the room/walk-in closet where the furnace is - they are having to dismantle the old unit and remove the pieces before installing the new one and said the floor space in there would have to be clear.

Can’t seem to muster the energy to do it, but I’m going to have to in the next couple of hours whether or not I want to. The closet is where my dad stored all of his gym clothes, shoes and other odds and ends, so is full of stuff. I don’t even know where to put it all while the HVAC people are here. I’m so tired and wish I could go back to bed and sleep late this morning, but I can’t.

Been stressing over all of that, of course, and it’s just one of a long list of things weighing on me right now.

Also am dreadfully lonely, which I have vented about before, too. I‘ve been feeling so crummy and stressing myself over the HVAC situation and everything else that I thought it would help to see a friendly face or at least have someone to chat with on the phone to get my mind off things temporarily.

I have reached out to a number of people this past week, including an older cousin, but have gotten crickets. It’s hard enough to work up the courage to reach out when you really need someone to talk to, but when absolutely no one responds, it makes you feel worse. No one ever reaches out to me, either, so it is doubly hurtful.

Took myself for a very lonely walk around the block last night right after dinner and then sat on my front porch for a bit and noticed how eerily quiet and deserted the neighborhood was. I kept hoping to see someone else go by just so I could smile, say hello and have that tiny few seconds of human interaction, but there was absolutely no one around and no activity except for the sound of a leaf blower on the next block and the catty-corner neighbors’ kid throwing a whale of a tantrum in their garage.

Then of course because I’m up and have no one to talk to, I wind up scrolling on the internet. And I start thinking about all of the things missing in my life and how it seems that no matter what I do or how much effort I make, things never change.

And though I know comparison is the thief of joy and all of that, I can’t help being envious of others who have a support system, parents who are still living, a spouse/significant other, children, close family relationships and people who would be there for them at the drop of the hat. It’s not from a lack of trying, but I don’t have those things and wish so much that I did.

I don’t know where I am going will all of this. Just am in a real funk right now and feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Could use a little love and feel like I mattered to someone instead of always having to go it alone and handle everything on my own.

I am at the end of my rope with my ongoing family situation and the older sibling that has been verbally and emotionally abusive, controlling and caused me a tremendous amount of stress and grief since well before our dad ever became ill.

Recently, she has switched from verbal abuse, intimidation, threats, character assassination and so forth to attempting to manipulate me through extreme guilt-tripping, claiming to be ill — details of said illness are quite vague — and for me to be her caretaker, which is rather galling considering how abusively she has treated me these past few years in particular. I suspect this latest attempt at manipulation is her way of trying to regain “control” over me since her other behaviors have not brought about the desired results.

She has made numerous unannounced barge-in visits to the family home, where I still live and which I would very much like to buy out, but has refused to sell her share of it despite already having a lovely home and not wanting to live here herself. I’ve vented and shared all of the details ad nauseum on this sub already.

Anyway, I need an attorney to advocate for me and help me wade through this mess regardless of whether I ultimately get to buy out the house or not. I have been trying unsuccessfully to get help from one in dealing with my sister and the attorney I met with initially and wanted to work with has since become unresponsive.

I will call and only get her voicemail during business hours. My messages are never returned and I end up calling again a week, two weeks or three later only to be met with the same (lack of) response. I’ve already spent a considerable chunk of money with her, yet now she and her office staff have gone incommunicado.

I’ve reached out to a number of other attorneys, too, as well as my local bar association , and it’s the same thing — I get crickets. I can’t seem to find a single attorney with availability, much less one whose office will ever answer or return calls or emails.

On a couple of occasions recently after my sister made two more unwanted, unannounced visits to the family home, made all sorts of presumptuous and bizarre requests of me and wouldn’t leave when I asked her to, I have managed to get the one attorney’s assistant on the line. I explained the issue and my question for the attorney, saying I wanted to know what she recommended I do now based on my sister’s odd behavior, and whether that is to proceed with drafting a buyout offer letter, looking into some sort of no-contact order or what.

The assistant agreed that my sister’s behavior was quite concerning and said she would relay everything to the attorney and call me back with her response. She never did. About four weeks went by and my sister showed up again, and was again behaving as she had before. She was making me very uncomfortable and would not leave despite my asking her to repeatedly. I ended up having to leave the house altogether and go to a neighbor’s house until she finally left.

I again called the attorney and managed to get her assistant on the line, explaining that my sister’s behavior was escalating and that I needed to know how to proceed. She again promised she would speak with the attorney and get back to me, but she didn’t.

Sp now, it’s been another four weeks and I am beyond fed up. The 40-year-old HVAC system at the family home irreparably broke down about three months ago and I have held off on getting it replaced because the payment will be coming out of my late dad’s trust account, which has money set aside for such purposes. The two portable units I borrowed can no longer keep up with the extreme hot weather we have been having and the replacement can no longer wait.

The attorney previously assured me I was well within my rights as trustee to make a decision like that and pay from the trust account, but doing so has caused my sister to unleash on and harass me before and will more than likely cause her to do so again. I don’t know what to do. I am so frustrated. This is something for which I absolutely do need an attorney‘s assistance, but I’ll be damned if I can find one. 😭

Apologies for posting on here again. I‘ve gotten flak from some Redditors here for posting “too much” and if that’s truly the case, I am very sorry. I have nowhere and no one else to turn to, though, and am so fed up at this point I just need to vent. For those who have implied or snarked that I post too much, please don’t bother to respond to this post. It’s neither helpful nor supportive. I’m upset enough as it is.

I posted a couple of months ago about my BPD older sister showing up unannounced again at the family home, where I still live, driven by her ex-boyfriend, claiming to be ill and making all sorts of noise about moving in here and me being her caretaker. That’s her latest tactic, I presume, because all of the threats, screaming, intimidation, bullying, smear campaigns, coercive control attempts and so on haven’t brought about the desired results.

Now we are on to massive guilt-tripping. Prior to that visit, she’s recruited several of her flying monkey friends to confront or attempt to guilt-trip me, including two women who ambushed me in the driveway last fall when I came home one evening.

On this particular “visit,” BPD sister was vague about the details, name and potential cause(s) of her alleged diagnosis, only claiming it was an incurable fungal infection and that the doctor’s only recommendation was that they “hoped she had a good support system.” Any suggestions that she consult a specialist or undergo additional testing were rebuffed. The vagueness of the details and what she claimed the doctor said didn’t add up. My BS meter was pinging loudly and even if she truly is ill, why in the hell would I want to be a caretaker after everything she has put me through?

She wouldn’t stop carrying on and also made a number of bizarre requests of me, feigned helplessness on a number of very simple things and kept trying to find reasons to go back in the house. Her ex-boyfriend, with whom she had allegedly been staying for several months, suggested she needed to see a mental health professional, which, of course she rebuffed.

The way he responded to her and all of her lamenting and odd requests of me gave the impression that he is exasperated and fed up. He also spoke oddly to me, suggesting at one point that she needed to stay with me now because she “needs a woman’s care” or some such nonsense. I took that to mean he is tired of babysitting her and wants to dump her off on me, the person that’s been the main target of her abusive behavior all of this time. No thank you.

She also claimed to not be able to drive or to stay at her own house because the “ceilings were caving in” and there was “mold everywhere.” Also BS and I know that for a fact. Her house is absolutely pristine and in infinitely better condition than the family home.

I said I was not equipped to be a caregiver and was able to fend them off that day because the air conditioner at the family home was broken and the entire HVAC system would have to be replaced. After suggesting I take on caregiving duties, the ex-boyfriend then suggested I get the HVAC done right away, saying we “could revisit the subject in a couple of weeks.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

They finally left and I immediately called the attorney that I have been trying desperately to get help from this whole time, but whose office has been horrible about answering or returning calls and messages. I was able to get the attorney’s assistant on the phone the next day, explained what happened and said I would like to know from the attorney how to proceed and what steps she would suggest taking. I was not seeking free advice, but the way, and have made it clear to the attorney’s assistant that I will pay for whatever services are rendered.

The assistant seemed to take my concerns seriously and said she couldn’t give legal advice, but that it was very troubling that BPD sister was suggesting she move into the family home and have me be her caretaker. Said that would spell trouble for me in terms of being able to buy out the other half or in moving out, should I find another house. She mentioned the possibility of a no-contact or restraining order, too, saying that BPD sister’s behavior is bordering on harassment.

The assistant said she would speak with the attorney and get back to me ASAP. She never did. A week went by and I called back. Got voicemail even though it was during business hours. No response. Called again a week later. Same thing.

In the meantime, I tried reaching out to other attorneys’ offices and the local bar association in hopes of finding a referral to a different practitioner. No such luck. Every one I called — some 2-3 times - never called back. The county bar association number goes straight to a recording that directs you to an online request form to fill out, which I did, but which did not result ina response.

About four weeks after the first unannounced visit, BPD sister showed up again, this time driving herself, and barged in with her key. Again began making claims of severe illness, laying on the guilt trip and insisting she stay at the family home. I repeated again that I was not equipped to be a caretaker. She then insisted I needed to come stay at her house, the same one she claimed to be uninhab just four weeks earlier.

BPD sister would not leave me alone despite my repeated requests for her to leave. The whole time she was there, I was on edge and trying to choose my words carefully so as not to reveal anything to her or set her off. It got to the point where I just had to leave because she wouldn’t. I had my keys,iPad and phone in hand and ended up walking to a neighbor’s house, where I stayed for more than an hour before BPD sister finally left.

I called the attorney’s office afterward, somehow managed to get the assistant on the line again and told her what happened. She again promised she would speak with the attorney and get back to me right away. Never did.

I have since tried in vain to get hold of them again, as well as reached out to other attorneys’ offices and have gotten nowhere.

After three months of getting by with two portable AC units, I am going ahead with the replacement because temperatures in my area are now in the 100s and I can no longer manage with just the portables. It is just too hot and is becoming a health hazard.

The replacement will be paid out of my late dad’s trust account, of which I am a trustee and which is sure to set off BPD sister and likely bring about another unannounced visit or worse.

I do not know what to do anymore. I need an attorney’s assistance whether or not I ultimately end up being able to buy out the other half or have to move.

What generally is considered a reasonable time frame for an attorney’s office to call back a client/potential client with a single question or request for assistance? In terms of response time, at what point would you advise someone to seek counsel elsewhere?

What are everyone’s thoughts on the cyclosporiasis outbreak? Concerning or overblown? Do you think the media is overhyping things at all? Are you doing anything differently food-wise because of it? Avoiding certain fruit/veggies or not?

Have any GenXers on here been personally affected by it or know someone who has? If so, did you have any idea what you/they ate that might’ve caused it?

I don’t live in one of the hardest hit areas, although there has been a handful of reported cases in my state. I am a little concerned because I’ve eaten a lot of salads, fresh strawberries and other things that have been mentioned as possible culprits these past couple of weeks, but now I’m rethinking that.

I haven’t had any problems so far, but yesterday I returned two boxes of Organic Girl butter plus lettuce (my favorite) to the store and cooked down a huge box of fresh strawberries into a sort of compote because all of the experts are saying the only way to kill the parasite on things like berries is to cook them.

I began experiencing sudden hair loss/shedding/thinning the summer before I turned 17. At that time (mid 1990s), fat-free everything was all the rage and everywhere you looked (TV news, magazines, etc.) dietary fat was branded as horribly unhealthy. I took things too far in restricting my fat intake - which also meant I was consuming a lot fewer calories without realizing it — and ended up losing about 35 pounds in a very short period of time. At my lowest weight, I was around 112-113 pounds at 5’7 1/2.

Not only did I get much too thin, but I also started losing a considerable amount of hair. Previously, I had very thick, healthy, shiny hair, which grew past my shoulders and which I could go several days without washing. My ponytail was normal size and I could even French braid my hair if I wanted to and it looked normal. Afterward, my hair was very thin, my scalp started showing through and my ponytail was pitiful.

My mom noticed the hair loss and how thin I had gotten and took me to the pediatrician who counseled me on the importance of including fat in my diet and why my body needed it to work properly. I also underwent bloodwork with her, as well as with an endocrinologist she referred me to and with our family dermatologist.

My mom took me to a second dermatologist who ran more bloodwork and took a scalp biopsy, the results of which came up as “inconclusive.” That doctor also had me go to a monthly meeting of all the dermatologists in our city, which was held at a local hospital, and I sat in a little room while they filed in a few at a time and took turns inspecting my scalp.

Throughout all the testing and inspection, nothing ever showed up as abnormal on my bloodwork, with the exception of my blood sugar on one test, which was slightly elevated because I had not been told it was a fasting test and had eaten breakfast right before going to the lab. Other than that, everything always fell within the “normal” range, although I don’t remember what the exact numbers were.

Because my labwork appeared “normal” and an exact cause couldn’t be determined from testing, my dermatologist decided it was androgenetic alopecia despite there not being a family history of hair loss on either side of my family. I was barely 17, which I understand to be unusually young for that diagnosis in a woman, too. It seemed to be a diagnosis of exclusion because they couldn’t figure out anything else.

The best the dermatologist could do was to recommend Nizoral shampoo and Rogaine, which did absolutely nothing for months except make my scalp excruciatingly itchy. It was tedious, messy, expensive (Rx only then), uncomfortable and did absolutely nothing to encourage new growth, so I eventually stopped using it..

Over the past 30-odd years, I have periodically gone back for testing to see if something showed up that would explain the hair issues, but each time my bloodwork was deemed “normal.” Thyroid and everything checked out fine.

In looking back over the results, however, I noticed my ferritin levels were at the lowest end of the so-called normal range, but no one ever flagged them or considered them as a possible root cause. I think it is more than a coincidence that the initial hair loss coincided with the considerable weight loss and though I eventually regained the weight, my hair has never gone back to the way it once was.

For much of my life, I also had what I would consider to be heavy periods, though they have gotten lighter/shorter with age and are more in line now with what is considered an average period. For many years, though, they are what I’d call heavy and I think I must have lost a lot of iron that way.

Now, my hair barely grows to a certain point before it just quits. It is pitifully fine and thin, dull and feels fragile. I’ve just had to live with it and use thickening products, hair fiber powder (Toppik) and style it in certain ways to conceal the thinning. I often pull it up in a bun because it looks so awful down, but I know that puts too much stress on the fragile hair. I can’t win no matter what I do.

The last time I got bloodwork done, my ferritin was at 16, which for that particular lab was one point away from being below normal. Since it wasn’t, though, it was not flagged as an issue. My hemoglobin was well within normal range, so the low ferritin was not even considered and I was not deemed anemic in any way.

I have read that to maintain optimal, healthy hair growth, ferritin needs to be at least 50 and to encourage regrowth, it needs to be at 70 or more. I have asked doctors many times about low ferritin, my previous weight loss and restrictive diet, etc. and all have pooh-poohed those things as a possible cause.

At this point, I don’t know that my hair will ever go back to what it was 30-plus years ago, but I have wondered if I got my ferritin levels up, I might see at least some improvement.

I have read a lot recently about a form of iron supplement called ferrous bisglycinate and I don’t know if it’s just a bunch of viral internet BS or if there’s actual scientific evidence that it can work. The problem is that none of the doctors I have asked will even consider ferritin levels of 16 too low or a possible cause of my hair issues, and I don’t know how to go about supplementing safely when no one seems willing to advise me on that.

Anyone have any experience with increasing their ferritin levels and seeing regrowth or healthier hair overall? If so, how did you go about doing it and did you have trouble finding a doctor who was willing to consider low ferritin as a cause? Has anyone tried the bisglycinate form and seen good results?

I have several outdoor, battery-powered Ring cams, none of which is more than 2-3 years old at the most, but only one of which will work now. I have not previously had any issues with wifi or connectivity, but for quite awhile now, two will not work at all, even with fully charged batteries installed.

On one of the two, the blue light will come on briefly when a battery is installed, but it stays steady, doesn’t flash and then goes off. When I try to check the camera on the app, it says the camera is not connected. On the other, no light comes on at all. Both do nothing when I push the orange reset button. I have tried rebooting the wifi and troubleshooting online and via the Ring app, but have gotten nowhere.

The nonworking cameras are the outdoor version, so designed to be weather-resistant, and both have been installed under an overhang, so not where they would get wet or be in direct sunlight.

Any ideas on what to try next? My budget is tight right now and I don’t want to have to buy new Ring cams, but I can’t seem to fix the two I have.

How much heat does your air fryer put off in comparison to a regular oven or a countertop/toaster oven?

Our AC is broken and the entire HVAC system is old and will need to be fully replaced. Have been getting by with two portable AC units until the HVAC company can come out to do the replacement, which will be an all-day project.

It’s still too hot to turn on the oven, though, which limits what I can cook. I have a Breville countertop oven, but it also puts off too much heat and makes the kitchen too warm to be using it right now. Was thinking of getting an air fryer to use instead, but wasn’t sure how much heat they typically put off.

I posted in an estate sale sub earlier asking sale professionals about how to address traffic problems related to an estate sale going on at the house next door to me. I live on a street that’s frequently used as a cut-through and already a huge safety challenge on a normal day, but the added traffic from sale shoppers is causing additional safety issues for me and my immediate neighbors and it’s only the first day of the sale.

Sale is from 9-5 each day, today through Saturday, so not an insignificant amount of time to be dealing with distracted drivers, bottlenecks and difficulty getting in and out of driveways safely. Even saw a older neighbor out walking almost get mowed down by an estate sale shopper in a truck earlier.

Got a few helpful replies, but there were more in which folks were downright rude, hurling the “Karen” slur, telling me to “suck it up” and other things. The rudeness is one thing, but I am so sick of the “Karen” slur being trotted out every time someone has a concern or question. What gives?

Question for estate sale professionals — If I live next door to a house where a large, 4-day sale is being held, how do I address parking safety issues that make it difficult for me and a neighbor to get in and out of our driveways?

I was out mowing one morning a few weeks ago when a man approached me and said they were setting up for an estate sale next door that would be sometime in the future, but he didn’t give a date. He was from the largest estate sale company in my city and said they would have one side of the street marked no parking, but that they don’t release the address until 6:30 a.m. the day of (sale starts at 9). He also mentioned shoppers start showing up within 15 minutes of the address being posted.

I explained to the man that the way our street is and how my and my across-the-street neighbors’ driveways are situated makes it extra tricky for both of us to back out. What makes it worse is that our street is one long stretch that curves around and all the way out to the main city street a few blocks away. People are constantly using it as a cut-through and speeding down it the minute they turn the corner onto our street. Under normal conditions, backing out is already challenging, but if cars are packing the street, it will be next to impossible.

The man assured me they would have no parking signs set up on one side, as well as put up cones by where my and my across the street neighbors’ houses are, but it is now the morning of the sale and there are no cones nor signage. People are already starting to park out front and the sale is still two hours away from starting. I hurried and made a few makeshift no parking signs to put by where my and the across the street neighbors’ driveways are, but I’m not sure they will do any good, as the cars just keep coming.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

Question for listing agents — At what point do you start suggesting your clients lower the asking price on a house? How many weeks do you typically let a house sit on the market before you suggest lowering the price? Is there a certain percentage or dollar amount that you suggest when you first broach the subject with your clients?

I’ve been looking unsuccessfully for some time now and have noticed quite a few houses in my area that are sitting for months on end with no price drop. They’re priced way beyond what would be considered reasonable for what is being offered and the condition of the house. The agent that has been helping me refers to them as “grandma houses” and has said flat-out that they’re not selling because they’re overpriced and sellers won’t budge.

Apologies in advance for being such a Debbie Downer, but the loneliness I have posted about before is hitting really hard again and I sure could use some words of comfort from other GenXers.

I am once again alone — or maybe I’m never really not alone anytime — on a holiday and have absolutely nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to spend time with. Single, no husband/partner or kids despite always wanting them very much, estranged from both older siblings, both of whom have treated me poorly, parents both gone now, little in the way of extended family nearby or available, and only a handful of “friends” who aren’t really that good of friends when I think about it.

No one ever reaches out to me and I’m fed up with reaching out to others only to either get ignored or be flaked out on at the last minute. And am so very tired of all the same suggestions being tossed my way, as if I hadn’t already thought of and done them all many times.

Every day sucks when you are this lonely, but there’s something about holidays and seeing everyone else having someone to share them with and plans for celebrating while you’re all by yourself wishing you had that sense of community. I made a grocery run this morning just to be out and around other people and drove around aimlessly afterward for a bit, but it didn’t really help.

I honestly feel so overlooked and ignored. It hurts to be lonely, to not ever be included or thought of. It also hurts when you express your feelings and others are constantly placing the burden on you to “try harder” or making you feel like somehow it is still your fault in spite all of the effort you‘ve been putting forth.

Anyone else ever feel this way? I see news reports all the time about a loneliness epidemic and I believe them 100 percent.

Does anyone else find the pwBPD in their life to be overly critical of, hateful toward or negative about other people who really are perfectly lovely? Do they always seem to have some sort of grudge against or beef with these other people when nobody else appears to?

I don’t know how to articulate it exactly, but I have noticed this a lot with my BPD older sister and can’t figure out what it is. The way she speaks about and refers to others can be extremely negative, judgmental and critical — downright disrespectful sometimes — and it’s as though she absolutely hates them. She’ll often say people gave her a “bad look” or committed some other “infraction,” which therefore makes them worthy of her scorn.

A neighbor who lives down the street from me recognized me in the grocery store parking lot a little while ago. I didn’t recognize her at first, but then I remembered who she is. She is around the same age as BPD sister and they apparently have a lot of mutual acquaintances here even though they went to different schools.

The neighbor couldn’t have been nicer and stopped to chat with me for several minutes. Really lovely, kind person and I remembered how in the past she’s always stopped to say hello when I’ve been out walking my dogs.

Were BPD sister to have run into this woman, she no doubt would have started ranting and carrying on about her afterward and painted her as some sort of awful jerk.

Anyone else noticed something similar with their pwBPD? I just don’t understand it or what that sort of behavior means.

Has being the target of the pwBPD made you more sensitive or likely to feel triggered/upset when others lash out at you? Do you have less patience for those other people or are you more likely to go LC/NC with them quicker than you did with the pwBPD because you have less tolerance for abusive behavior now?

I received a text from a relative the other day that really upset me. In it, she snapped at me and said some unkind things and made some accusations that were untrue. She was really rude and the things she said and the way she spoke to me reminded me very much of how my BPD older sister has treated me.

I chose not to respond to this relative and don’t plan to contact her any further now. Am even considering blocking her number and deleting her from my social media. I understand people can have “off” days and everything, but this relative’s text really caught me off guard and hurt my feelings pretty badly. She is well aware of how my sister has treated me all of these years, so it really was a kick in the gut for her to lash out at me the way she did. It also made me wonder if I’m somehow a magnet for people like that. Like maybe they can sense that I am more passive and sensitive, therefore they target me.

For the record, this relative is not in contact with BPD sister and has nothing to do with her.

Does anyone else get triggered more easily or feel hurt when others lash out at you because of how the pwBPD has treated you? Do you ever wonder if you’re somehow a magnet or target for people like that?

I received a text from a relative a couple of days ago that was one of those rude, angry texts that seemingly comes out of nowhere and really makes you want to cry.

Said relative has been a source of advice the past year and a half or so and I have listened to her and spoken with her at length about things she has going on, as well. I messaged her a couple days ago to ask her thoughts on an household decision I needed to make, but did not hear back from her. She’s hit and miss with replying to texts and almost never answers her phone.

Then, she suddenly decided to reply and was quite harsh. Accused me of “lying” about seeing her sibling, to whom she’s not spoken for awhile, and also of “ignoring” her regarding a medical appointment she recently had and which I guess she expected me to drive her to and from.

Previously, I have driven her home from an appointment in town as well as to another place she needed to go in town when her car was unavailable. Also agreed to let her have a service come to my residence to help with her with something because she lives too far outside the service’s call area.

She lives about 45 minutes away in a rural area, so getting to and from her place takes a good chunk of time. To pick her up, drive to town, drive back and then go back to town again would take me about three hours, not counting the time for the actual appointment.

She also asked me another time to shuttle her to and from an appointment, but it was on very short notice and I was not able to because I had an appointment of my own that day. I said I could probably manage to drive her home after my appointment if she could get to hers another way, but she ended up making alternate arrangements.

Awhile back, she mentioned in passing another upcoming appointment. The way it was brought up to me was as if she automatically assumed I was available and already booked for it. I said nothing and did not agree to anything.

That appointment was scheduled for very early morning, which meant I would have had to get up super early and drive to her rural location in the dark in order to collect her and make it back to town in time. Getting there is challenging enough in daylight hours — and I have gotten lost on the way before even with GPS — but I wouldn’t feel comfortable driving there in the dark, especially on winding, unfamiliar rural roads and with no service station or anything like that nearby (that I know of).

I didn’t agree to take her for this latest appointment and no more was said about it since she initially brought it up. I have quite a lot on my plate and honestly forgot about it. I’m not someone else’s personal assistant, either, but I guess she just automatically assumed I was booked for it and is now angry that she had to make alternate arrangements again.

As for the claim that I ”lied” about seeing her sibling, that is not true, either. I have told her I bumped into the sibling at the grocery store, which I have a couple of times. I also recently was invited by the sibling to go walking with them, which I did, but I didn’t know that I was required to inform my relative about that.

Anyway, my relative sent the snotty text and it really upset me. When I’d thought about it for a moment, I realized that it made me feel the same way I do/did whenever my BPD older sister has lashed out at me.

BPD sister has been verbally and emotionally abusive in so many ways, including treating me like a personal servant and tearing into me if/when I didn’t do what she wanted when she wanted. Same with accusing me of something that wasn’t true and expecting me to tell her where I was, with whom, etc. and lashing out if I did not share those details with her. If BPD sister found I had been somewhere or talked with someone and didn’t tell her, she’d start giving me the third degree about it and being ugly.

The way my relative was behaving toward me in the text was very reminiscent of how BPD sister has treated me and it was really upsetting. I chose to be a gray rock and not respond to the text and don’t plan to contact her again. After what BPD sister has put me through, I really don’t need more of the same from another person.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this and do you find yourself getting triggered when others lash out at you?