To my batchmates: You'll are the best people I've ever come across and I'll never ever forget about you❤️
WARNING: Long read
Let me take you back to 2019 when I was already in my 2nd drop year with JEE failed 4 times by getting 6 digit ranks everytime. With this score even Amity wont take you. So to avoid 3rd drop year I took admission in whatever college I was getting on the basis on my 12th marks and took mechanical branch because that along with Civil branch were the only 2 branches available. Took mechanical because my father is a mechanical engineer too and he told he would help me with academics as I had low concentration and attention problem(which later turned out to be ADHD-PI). My mental health was lowest at that time because I had failed JEE despite my full efforts and my school friends had moved ahead in their life and here I was selecting colleges and branch. I deleted my insta account and went nearly went underground. In school no one talked to me. Literally. Not exagerrating. No one talked to me. I had no friend. No one bothered to talk to me too. I hated going to school because I didnt know what wrong I was doing. I used to watch countless videos on conversations, socialisation but all turned to be in vain. School getting over was the best feeling ever and I promised myself I'll never ever keep contact with these a-holes.
So with 2 year drop, nuked mental health, social anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD, I took admission in that college. To my relief my batch had less than 30 people as I disliked people. My anxiety flares up wherever there are a lot of people. It was as if God decided to ease my anxiety issues by slowing putting me in a small group. The college was absolute shit by academics, placements, exposure, infrastructure etc but for me it was best fit - in the outskirts of the city(peaceful vibes), low batch strength(less people, less anxiety). I never bothered about fests, outings etc and this college had none which again proved to be a blessing for me.
My batchmates were from lower middle class areas of Delhi, UP and Bihar. In fact my now best friend who is from a small village of UP didnt know what PS5 is. Such were the batchmates of my class. But their heart was of gold.
My first "therapist" was a Jaat guy who used to board bus with me. Like typical introvert I never made the first move to talk to him but eventually after some silent meeting he finally broke the ice and in a typical haryanvi accent asked my name, told his name, where he lives, where I live, branch etc. I was so happy at that moment that finally someone talked to me after soo many years. Since I was always the first to reach our boarding point he asked me to call him whenever I reach so that he can also reach before bus comes. I was surprised and slightly annoyed by his request and thought to myself "Am I your personal assistant?" but then I thought the other way that this might be an opportunity to call and talk and maybe this will help in overcoming my anxiety so I said yes and without fail I used to call him. Initially I was shit scared and nervous but slowly my anxiety eased. He was from CS and I from mechanical.
Then comes my legendary batchmates, the most infamous branch. By seeing how loud and rowdy they were I was repenting my decision but those delusions were soon proved wrong. Unlike my school people who treated me like a ghost my batchmates were actually very nice - they gave me their food(all were day scholars), I gave them mine, they invited me to bunk college with them which I did only once, and played volleyball with them. Since I was the topper of my batch they all used to bombard me with their calls for last minute studies. Frankly it was overwhelming and most of the times I never picked their call. But overall it was such a satisfying experience as I was feeling like a normal human and people whom I can proudly call "friends". During exam time they used to pester me for showing them answers which I happily used to do and after exam they used to thank me for showing them the answers. I was finally getting noticed and years of ghosting.
During covid time, one of them made a group with a few batchmates to play Among Us via Discord and I was in that. See how privileged I was😆. Though I used to speak less and was constantly encouraged to speak more. I tried but only with partial success
I loved going to college and seeing their faces. Probably it was the reason I stopped taking my anxiety and depression meds because I wasnt depressed anymore and learned there is nothing wrong with me. I still continued my ADHD meds though. That silent environment, lovely faces, everything was finally going right after years of negligence. Like God decided to personally come down and help with my social problems by selecting the college and handpicking the students
Everyone liked me in my batch and was told to become CR(Class Representative) of my batch but I declined as I wasnt completely over my anxiety issues, I had only begun tackling it. It was 2nd or 3rd year I guess
Finally it was Farewell time, with 4 years having passed in 4 seconds. I didnt attend my farwell because I knew I wouldnt stop crying if I went there so to save myself from embarassment I chose not to go.
I graduated in 2023 and still keep in touch with my friends and regularly send memes in my group. They dont react but I dont care. They were there for me when I was at the lowest and it was because of their first move I was able to open up or else God knows what would have happened if I had similar fate I had in school.
Thanks for reading