Year later still empty handed there 🥲 you can't address adhd until they, personally, watch antidepressents ruin your life again to make sure it really happened I guess.
Nsfw because the silliest reason: I'm on the edge of 27, was a virgin till 25, and my ocd has fixated itself on twink death and getting to have a slut phase before I turn 30. I am no longer a twink and haven't been since I was 23 but spent that whole part of my life locked in my room at my parents house from anxiety and gender dysphoria, and now my brain is obsessed with the fact that I never got to feel cute when I actually was. I applied to this job in part to get away from my partner since it's been a year since I tried to break up last and it hasn't gotten better since I stuck it out (I'm just a roomate she tolerates so she and her other gf can live together, it's been like this the whole year. We fight all the time bc I feel neglected and alone.) and the wasted time makes me feel like improving my life is pointless and I should just die. If I take this job I'll be living in a bunkhouse for 6mo in a strange place where I don't know anybody while working in the desert which will age me like crazy and be the last nail in that "twink death" coffin. I hate that I'm so vain that this is what I care about.
editing emphasize the "ocd" part of this post and the fact that there are many, many reasons I am scared to say yes to this job but everytime I'm scared my brain starts saying "it's bc you're ugly and fat and old! You're too ugly and fat and old for good things! You don't deserve this anyway!"