u/InBetweenTheLiminal

I turned 30 a few weeks ago and these are some of my regrets.

1. Deciding to do online school through high-school and college. I missed out on all the normal things. Like making friends that may carry on into adulthood. Going to school events like prom and not having a graduation.

2. Not healing my relationship with my family. I dont really talk to any of them because we didnt get along when i was a kid due to my mother. While her and i get along because we both understand what happened mt family never learned the truth so aunts, uncle, cousins etc all treat me like the black sheep.

3. Not learning to manage my money early on. Ive struggled and still do with bad spending habits that are far harder to change now than they would have been earlier in my life. Even though I make decent money I still have no savings to speak of.

4. Staying at jobs I hated or i was undervalued. I wasted a lot of time at places being miserable. And one job specifically was working my to the bone but I stayed because I knew my boss since I was a kid and felt like I couldn't leave. I was paid so poorly and he ended up closing down the business without warning due to his health.

5. Moving across the country for a man. Very big mistake on my end. I thought it was going to be happily wver after but ive been alone here going on 6 years.

6. Similar to 5 I regret my nearly decade long situationship. Ive missed out on meeting a lot of men because I was loyal to a man who wasnt loyal to me.

7. Not taking my health more seriously. Im morbidly obese with a binge eating disorder. Its going to be hard as hell trying to get into shape if I ever even can. I feel like im missing out on experincing life and seeing the world. I also dont think ill ever be able to have children which I didnt know i wanted until last year.

8. Buying a jeep. Worst purchase of my life. I wish i had purchased something more reliable. 0/10 do not recommend.

9. Going snowboarding in 2016. I had an accident which left me partially paralyzed which makes being fat even harder and im going to be in pain the rest of my life.

10. Not loving myself. I really feel like it made me think others wouldnt like me so i tend to stay by myself. While im not rude im not inviting and thats resulted in me being a bit of a hermit with no real friends. Specifically female friends. I really crave girlhood but im so socially inept I cant manage to be friends with anyone. I can go weeks if not month with no calls or texts from anyone.

I 29f have a trip planned for my 30th birthday in July. My partner 38m is joining me for that trip. (May be important to note we dont live together) We do something every year and usually he will pitch in an buy some food or the liquor. Something.

This year I convinced him to let me being my 2 dogs so I could get a place that was nicer since I wouldnt be paying $600 for boarding.

In total im paying about $1900 for 6 nights at a cabin with a pool, hottub, outdoor theater and arcade games. This place is super cool and im really excited. I made a grocery list and added the things my partner wanted to it and asked if he would be willing to pitch in $200 to groceries and ill cover the remaining amount because he wants me to cook/buy expensive liquor, steaks, sea food etc. Im very close to reaching my max budget for my birthday trip and just wanted the assist.

His response. "Im contributing my letting the dogs come" essentially because im not spending money on the dogs boarding he feels like he "gave" me that money. Money i would have spent regardless and put in to the actual accommodation. I just dropped ot but he could tell i was upset and apologized. He mentioned that money is a bit tight for him right now which makes sense because he just came back from a short trip across the country to see his parents back in his home state which I did not go on myself because of work.

Regardless, I found myself really annoyed. I know its only $200 and if I cant afford that then need to adjust the groceries we bring etc which I can do but its like. I fork out the majority of the cost every single year and we've been together 6 years but only doing the trip together for 5. I was venting to my friend and she said im out of line because its MY trip I invite him and the expectation should be that I pay. Springing cost on him isnt fair when hes not the one that wanted to go on the trip to begin with. Do you guys agree? AIO?

Eta: guys I promise hes not married. I have met his parents, his daughter, gone to Christmas with his brother and sister. And ive stayed multiple months at his house when my place flooded and my landlord took 900 years to get everything fixed. If there was a wife I would have met her.