As a child, I used to be very loving and affectionate. As an adult, however... I am genuinely incapable of genuinely caring for other people. I see them as these unpredictable things I have nothing in common with.
The only exception seems to be my cat, and animals in general. They're simple and easy to understand.
According to this study, 45% of men ages 18-25 have never approached a woman. Now... Some of you might label this as as "cowardice" yet I see it as common sense.
First of all, everyone has a smartphone nowadays. If you ask a girl out, there's a high chance that either she or someone else will record your rejection, and you'll be humiliated online like this poor lad was. Throughout the years, I've seen so many Twitter, TikTok, and Reddit posts where women would post pictures, videos, or screencaps of men asking them out—not even in a "creepy" way, mind you, just so they could laugh at them.
Second, there's the false accusations. This man spent 31 days in prison because a woman did not like how he looked.
Now... Let's say you're a certified Gigachad. You think to yourself "Women find me attractive! I don't need to worry about something like that!" Wrong! Nowadays, the word "rape" has been so twisted beyond its original meaning that it can mean literally anything. Today's women are as fickle with their definition of "consent" as they are with the men they're currently sleeping with. As it stands, there is nothing stopping her from deciding she was "raped" the next morning, or even literal decades after the sexual encounter took place. (The latter is a common experience for men who later become semi-rich or famous).
Lasty, the juice isn't even worth the squeeze. Most modern divorces are initiated by women, most modern women support censorship, and all of the recent gyno-centric controversies that have happened lately (Man VS Bear, the Lindsay Clancy Trial, the Cornell Case, etc), have shown that most women nowadays HATE men. In fact, I have another study to back that up...
Edit: I love the salty comments. Keep 'em coming.
Genuinely, I wish there were some kind of entity that would give me detailed step-by-step instructions 24/7.
"Okay so the normal thing to do is to take exactly 3 steps forward and reach out your hand x centimeters forward. Proceed to shake the other person's hand for x ammount of seconds."
Like that one episode from Spongebob where Patrick tells him how to drive through a radio in his head.
This is what hurts me more than anything else. I will legitimately die without having ever experienced intimacy. This is my reality, this is my life.
People have told me "Oh, plenty of others are still struggling to date at your age!" but come in. I can guarantee you that there are not many 27 year-old guys who have never even kissed a girl or been on a date with one.
I can't even imagine a scenario in which it might happen. Even if I were to magically morph into a male model overnight, I'd somehow still fail just because I'm so socially anxious.
Reading that 27 year-old guy's post here about going to college made me ruminate on just how brutal getting older actually is.
As a guy who is also in his late 20s, this is one of the main reasons why I feel so deflated. Even if I were to go to college now, there would be no point. I'd be seen as that creepy old guy who doesn't get invited to any parties and who all the cute college chicks avoid.
Mentally speaking, I'm no different than I was at 18 since that's when I stopped accumulating life experiences and became a complete shut-in. Meanwhile, my body continues to age. I was already a hideous subhuman in high school, and I'm just going to get uglier and uglier. My body is going to get tired, my hair is going to fall out, my brain is going to get worse, my libido is going to disappear, etc.
It's completely over for me. I've missed out on life.
It's as if my entire state of being is locked inside a metal suit of armor and unable to break free. Nobody else sees that, though. They just see the armor, which is off-putting and devoid of any kind of personality. Any word I try to muster is immediately muffled by the layers of metal.
While I cannot speak for the rest of you, I know that my situation is hopeless. I've tried therapy, medication, stepping out if my comfort zone for months... Nothing works. My brain just stops working properly the moment I go outside.
When everyone else started chewing their food, I still spat out anything that wasn't blended. When everyone else started walking, I still refused to leave my stroller since it was too comfortable. When everyone stopped drinking out of baby bottles, I was still using mine to a point where it became a danger to my teeth. When everyone else stopped playing pretend and developed "older" interests, I still wanted to play pretend.
I'm 27 now, and people think it's "weird" and "creepy" that I'm basically 18 mentally, but I cannot help it. I've always needed much, MUCH longer to catch up to my age group. A big part of me wishes that the entire concept of "age" would be abolished, so there wouldn't be all of these rigid, NT designed expectations. I mean... I still haven't went to college, got a job, or anything else. I don't even know how to go outside by myself without getting lost. I've also only recently started paying for things myself...
Everything else, I can kind of break down into straightforward, easily digestible goals with a step-by-step process.
Socializing, however? It's completely unpredictable and non-linear. There are so many variables that I cannot plan nor account for, requiring quick thinking and improvisation. It is also highly dependent on the wills of others. If I want to draw or write something, it's 100% on me whether or not I do it. However, the moment moment other people enter the equation, I have to rely on their whims as well.
Socializing is the opposite of safe and predictable. There's no formula or cheat code.
It's basically an unwinnable situation.
Online dating? "That's not real life! Touch grass!"
Joining a hobby group? "Can't women just enjoy a hobby without a bunch of losers trying to date them?!"
Cold approaching? "That's creepy!"
Trying to befriend a girl first? "Wow, so manipulative! You should make your intentions clear from the start!"
Going about your life? "Do you just expect a girl to show up at your doorstep? You need to put in effort and ask out as many women as you can! It's a game of numbers!"
Actively trying? "Love finds you when you least expect it! Pursuing it makes you look desperate!"
Putting on a mask? "You have to be your authentic self! They can sense when you're faking it!"
Being yourself? "Nono, you need to fake it til you make it!"
Keeping your standards? "Your standards are too high! I bet you only try to date out of your league!"
Lowering your standards? "Have some standards! Women can smell how low they are!"
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Really, the only solution is to just give up. The game is rigged.
Then it's suddenly "Stop being such a lazy piece of shit!" and "You're doing this just to spite me!" and "You're the worst son on the entire planet, I don't want to live with you anymore!"
And then when I inevitably hang myself, it will be "Why did he do that? There were zero warning signs!!!1"
For me, it doesn't even feel irrational in the slightest. It's like an inhibitor chip designed to prevent me from being cringe and embarassing myself in public.
Whenever I've spoken about my feelings of social isolation online I've always been told "It's easy, bro! Just get a hobby and start going to clubs/events!!!1
And? I've been trying for months now and gotten 0 results. Whether I sit at home or go outside, it's all the same.
To neurotypicals, forming bonds is like drinking water. Meanwhile, I'm stranded in the middle of a desert without a map.
Age 11: "It will get better, bro! Trust me!"
Age 13: "It will get better, bro! Trust me!"
Age 16: "It will get better, bro! Trust me!"
Age 20: "It will get better, bro! Trust me!"
Age 27: "It will get better, bro! Trust me!"
Just kill me already.
This, to me, is the primary reason why so many of us suffer so much. We're just tossed into this unforgiving dog-eat-dog meat grinder and told "Survive!"
Socializing is a competition. Work is a competion. School is a competition. Wealth is a competition. Status is a competition.
This is why I, as an autistic individual, have dropped out of society completely. I could not handle how Darwinistic everything is.
At least I can be happy knowing that none of this matters and that I, and everyone else, will eventually be gone one day.
I'd rather play Mahjong all over again than deal with this BS. It's like it was designed to torture completionists such as myself.
Over 70 long, tedious fights that get more and more BS as time goes on. The one I'm currently on is nothing but gun enemies, with 4 shotgun guys + multiple regular enemies. If it were at least short and well-designed, I wouldn't mind, but it's like they put a crack-addicted Hidetaka Miyazaki in charge. Even by cheesing everything with heat actions, you still feel like the odds are stacked against you.
I am actually going to go insane. I even saved them for the end of the game, and I'm still getting my ass handed to me. What can you even do with some of these encounters? How do you dodge all of that?
And people said this would be the easiest game in the series...
I'm honestly tired of this modern idea that we, as a society, need to be accepting and respectful of every single lifestyle. While we can tolerate each-other and coexist to some extent, no-one should be called a "bigot" for disagreeing and following their own beliefs. A few hypothetical examples:
1: If I'm not a Sunni Muslim, there is nothing wrong with me drawing a picture of Muhammad.
2: If someone has a diaper fetish or is in an open "relationship" or wears cat ears and meows at everyone, (Otherkin shit), there is nothing wrong with me looking down with them.
3: If someone genuinely believes that they're the reincarnation of Napoleon, there is nothing wrong with me not entertaining their delusion and refusing to refer to them as Napoleon. Same if they believe that the Earth is flat, or If they believe any other nonsensical things that I, personally, do not believe.
Essentially, you can force me to tolerate someone, but you cannot ever force me to accept them. There's a difference between the two. Every individual should have a limit for how "open-minded" they are.
Edit: I really kicked the hornet's nest with this one. Didn't expect this much controversy in the replies, ngl.
When I'm being quiet, it's "Speak up! I can barely hear you with how much you're mumbling." But when I try to be more outgoing or get really excited or emotional about something, it's "Stop yelling!"
And then they all wonder why I'm a recluse who doesn't talk to anyone. I can never be myself, even at home. I apparently always have to fucking analyze my tone 24/7 as not to offend someone.
In my mind, either everyone should be able to do something, or no-one should. Everyone should be 100% equal and have the exact same options and opportunities in life. Whenever I see any kind of double-standards, I'm always inclined to revolt against them no matter how "illogical" it may seem to NTs.
So I was walking to my favorite takoyaki stand yesterday, when I was greeted by the sound of screams and the sight of people running away from something. Emboldened by curiosity, I went to see what the fuss was about.
Turns out, it was just Kazuma Kiryu getting getting into another street brawl. Back in the 80s, we would all stand there and clap as he beat the ever living daylights out of those thugs. My friends and I would even make bets on whether he'll smash them with a bicycle, clobber them with a traffic cone, whip them with some anal beads he found on the ground, etc.
However, these new generations are all just panicking like they saw Godzilla or some shit. Wtf happened? You'd think after seeing multiple bombings and Yakuza turf wars in the middle of the street, (I kid you not, I also saw some guy with an eyepatch summon literal tornadoes and shit at a construction site near my work), they would all be a bit more chill.