u/Natural-Hour-6739

Mid-level SE here looking for some candid perspective.

We often talk about technical output, but as EMs, what made a specific team member stand out and become someone you truly loved having on your team as a whole person?

* What specific qualities, attitudes or interpersonal habits made you favor working with someone over others? (e.g., how they communicate, handle pressure, support others, or take ownership)

* What non-technical habits or behaviors did the opposite and made someone difficult to work with?

* What advice would you give a mid-level engineer on building that kind of trust and rapport while stepping up to the next level?

Would love to hear honest stories or specific moments that shaped your view!

Thanks in advance!!

Hey everyone,

I’m dropping the usual "soft resolutions" this year and focusing heavily on build-up discipline. I'm looking into how people take their life to the next level and I'm balancing an 8-hour job with heavy study hours for a high-stakes competitive exam, but bad habits like doom-scrolling, inconsistency, and starting things without finishing them keep pulling me back. I want to apply David Goggins’ core concepts, the Accountability Mirror, the 40% Rule, and Scheduling Suffering , to fix my consistency, kill my doom-scrolling habit, and push through a high-stakes goal.

For those of you who have actively tried living by this mindset for months or years:

* What actually worked? What Goggins principle gave you the biggest real-world return on discipline?

* Where did you mess up? Did you hit burnout, injure yourself, or fall into the "all-or-nothing" trap? How did you fix it?

* How do you translate "Stay Hard" into daily life? What does Goggins-style discipline look like when you're balancing a full-time job, mental fatigue, and study hours?

Would love to hear honest takeaways, mistakes to avoid, and how you adapt this mindset without burning out. What’s the single most important lesson Goggins taught you?

I switched companies about a year ago. While working together, I always felt this person was a bit shady, insecure and overly interested in comparing/knowing what was happening with me. I’ve maintained basic communication out of professionalism when i was working with him, but even after a year of me leaving, he still seem very curious about my job, work and personal life.

I don’t want to be rude but also don’t want to keep sharing personal information with someone I don’t fully trust.

How would you handle this?

I’m preparing for a competitive exam alongside a full-time job, and honestly, I’m struggling to maintain consistency.

My job takes around 9–10 hours of my day, and by the time I’m done, I’m mentally exhausted. Sometimes I start working in the morning and suddenly it’s night, and I have no idea where the entire day went. Then I feel guilty because my preparation gets pushed to the side.

I really want to go into “monk mode” for the next few months — reduce distractions, stop wasting time on social media/random scrolling, focus on work + preparation, and actually make progress every single day.

For people who have successfully prepared for a competitive exam while working full-time:

How did you structure your day?

How many hours did you realistically study after work?

What did you completely cut out?

How did you deal with exhaustion after work?

Did you follow a strict routine or just focus on daily targets?

How did you stop yourself from wasting time on your phone?

And most importantly, how did you stay consistent for months?

I’m not looking for some unrealistic “wake up at 4 AM, work 10 hours and study 8 hours” routine. I want something actually sustainable with a full-time job.

Would really appreciate advice from people who have been through this.

I’m preparing for a competitive exam alongside a full-time job, and honestly, I’m struggling to maintain consistency.

My job takes around 9–10 hours of my day, and by the time I’m done, I’m mentally exhausted. Sometimes I start working in the morning and suddenly it’s night, and I have no idea where the entire day went. Then I feel guilty because my preparation gets pushed to the side.

I really want to go into “monk mode” for the next few months reduce distractions, stop wasting time on social media/random scrolling, focus on work + preparation, and actually make progress every single day.

For people who have successfully prepared for a competitive exam while working full-time:

- How did you structure your day?

- How many hours did you realistically study after work?

- What did you completely cut out?

- How did you deal with exhaustion after work?

- Did you follow a strict routine or just focus on daily targets?

- How did you stop yourself from wasting time on your phone?

- And most importantly, how did you stay consistent for months?

I’m not looking for some unrealistic “wake up at 4 AM, work 10 hours and study 8 hours” routine. I want something actually sustainable with a full-time job.

Would really appreciate advice from people who have been through this.

same as title

Honestly, I’m struggling to manage everything right now.. I don’t know how, but my whole day just flew by in the blink of eye...I log in in the morning thinking that I’ll finish my work on time and study in the evening, but sometimes work keeps stretching and I end up working till night.

By the time I’m done, I’m mentally exhausted and just don’t have the energy to study. Then I feel guilty because I wasted another day, and the same cycle starts again the next day.

I’m trying to manage my job, preparation and everything else in life, but lately it feels like I’m not doing justice to anything. The worst part is that I’m not even able to properly track where my time is going.

I have only 1 year left because of the age limit, so I can’t afford to keep going like this. I genuinely want to give this attempt my best, but I’m finding it very difficult to stay consistent with a full-time job.

For people who are working 9–10 hours and preparing for competitive exams, how are you actually managing it? I don't want a perfect routine or motivational advice. I’d really appreciate practical things that have worked for you in real life.

Please Help

Why does PFRDA not have a separate IT post this time? 😭

Was really hoping for an IT/Tech vacancy. Any idea if there’s a chance they’ll introduce one later?

I’ll complete 5 years of experience next month, but honestly, I feel my career progression is slower than it should be and I’m not sure how to fix it.

A quick background:

- 1st company: 1.5-year bond, stayed 1.9 years. Started as Software Engineer Trainee → Junior Software Engineer.

- 2nd company: Joined at almost the same salary. Got ~10% appraisal after 6 months. Completed a 1-year bond. Later they asked me to sign another bond for the next appraisal, which I refused, so I stayed without an appraisal/designation change.

- Current company: Joined as Software Engineer and have been here almost 2 years. I’ll complete 5 YOE overall next month.

Now I want to ask for Senior Software Engineer + a good hike in the upcoming appraisal. My manager is quite strict, and I feel the appraisal system can be quite political/manipulative, so I want to prepare carefully instead of going into the discussion unprepared.

My bigger concern is my long-term career trajectory. I feel I’m behind people with similar YOE in terms of title, salary and overall positioning.

What would you do in my situation?

- How should I build a strong case for Senior SWE?

- What should I prepare/document before the appraisal?

- How should I negotiate the hike without getting lowballed?

- If my manager says I’m not ready for senior, how should I handle it?

- Should I focus on getting the title internally, switching, or improving skills first?

- How can I position myself over the next 1–2 years to finally get my career on the right track?

Would really appreciate honest advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

i know one month is very short but i still want to give it a serious attempt rather than giving up before starting.

For those who have prepared for ISRO:

- Is it realistically possible to get a decent/selection-level score in one month?

- Which subjects should I prioritize?

- Should I focus mainly on PYQs or first cover the concepts?

- Are there any topics/subjects/courses/test series I should focus and what topics should I skip?

- What would you do if you were in my position?

Would really appreciate honest advice, even if the answer is “don’t bother”. I’d rather know the reality and plan accordingly.

I’m dealing with a situation I can’t really understand and would appreciate some outside perspective.

There’s an ex-coworker from my previous company who was senior to me. He always acted very nice, but I found some of his behavior quite shady, so I never felt comfortable with him.

I left that company about a year ago. Around the time I resigned, he suddenly became unusually friendly. After finding out where I joined, he started calling me almost every week. I answered normally at first, but I deliberately avoided sharing any details about my new job or personal life.

Eventually, I stopped responding altogether and haven’t communicated with him for almost a year. Now, out of nowhere, he messaged me again. I didn’t reply, and then he tried calling me.

I genuinely don’t understand what his intention could be. Maybe I’m overthinking, but I also don’t want to reconnect with him or give him access to information about my life/work.

The situation is slightly complicated because his cousin works in my current organisation.

What would you do in this situation? Would you simply continue ignoring him, or send one polite message making it clear that you don’t want to stay in touch? And how would you handle the cousin connection at work without making things awkward or creating unnecessary drama?

Looking for practical advice on how to maintain boundaries without escalating the situation.

🙏🙏🙏🙏

I have ADHD and past history of depression, which makes consistency and focus really difficult. I’m also working full-time while preparing for competitive exam and I feel like I’m running out of time and energy without doing anything.constantly

I realistically have only about 2 years to make a major career change, so I really want to use this time well without burning myself out.

For those who’ve managed ADHD, a job, and serious exam preparation together what actually worked for you?

I left my previous organization about a year ago and recently one of my former colleagues has been trying to connect with me again.

The thing is, I genuinely don't want to maintain any contact with this person. There were some reasons behind why I distanced myself from them and I don't feel comfortable reopening that connection now that I've moved on.

They haven't done anything extreme recently, so I don't want to unnecessarily create drama or be rude. At the same time, I don't feel obligated to respond just because we used to work together.

What would you guys do in this situation? Would you simply ignore the request/message, politely decline, or give a short response saying you don't want to stay in touch?

I’d especially like to hear from people who have dealt with similar situations after leaving a toxic/uncomfortable workplace.

PS - His far cousin works with me, so how do I politely set boundary? He actually messaged me a year ago, just 4 days after I joined my new organization and I never replied. Now after a year, he has messaged me again but I don’t want to share personal updates or details about my life with him.

Any advice and suggestions would be highly appreciated🙏🙏

I’m curious to hear from people who have been through layoffs, PIPs, forced exits, or other workplace situations where the company had already made a decision behind the scenes.

What were the subtle signs or red flags you noticed before things actually happened?

For example:

- Sudden changes in how your manager communicates with you

- Being left out of meetings or important discussions

- Work being taken away or your responsibilities being reduced

- Unusual documentation or increased scrutiny of your work

- Suddenly being asked to explain/justify things that were previously normal

- Your manager becoming unusually distant or formal

- Negative feedback appearing out of nowhere

- Being excluded from future projects or planning

- HR suddenly becoming more involved

- Colleagues being told things that you aren't being told

Were there any signs that seemed insignificant at the time but made sense in hindsight?

Would especially appreciate experiences from people who realized later that their organization had already decided to let them go or push them out.

I’m dealing with a coworker who has already affected my reputation once, and now he has joined the team I’m currently working in.

When I first joined his module, from day one things felt off. He would give negative feedback on my work, hold my PRs, wait until the review happened in front of others, and sometimes not share important project knowledge with me. There were also situations where I felt he was guiding me in the wrong direction, which would eventually make me look like I didn’t know what I was doing.

Over time, this really affected my confidence. Since I didn’t have the full information or proper guidance, I started making mistakes, and eventually I was moved to another module.

I somehow managed to survive that phase, and after moving to another module, I worked really hard to rebuild myself. I learned the project properly, understood the workflows, became comfortable with the codebase, and started gaining confidence in my work again.

Now this guy has joined the same module this week.

And I’m already seeing similar behaviour.

He has around 7–8 months more experience than me, and he is already trying to take the lead, get visibility, involve himself in everything, and position himself close to the manager.

He also has a habit of sharing other people's mistakes or personal information with managers, which makes me feel like he uses these things to build his own position.

I don't want to repeat what happened before.

This time, I want to handle it differently. I don't want to fight with him or get involved in office politics. I want to build my position through my work.

I want to get better visibility with the manager, take ownership of important areas, become someone the team naturally depends on, and eventually reach a point where my knowledge and contribution are strong enough that I have more influence over the work.

But I'm not sure how to do that without making it look like I'm competing with him.

Especially since he has slightly more experience, I don't want to get into an obvious "who is senior" situation. I want my work to speak for itself.

For people who have dealt with a coworker like this:

How did you increase your visibility without looking like you were playing politics?

How did you establish yourself as the go-to person for certain areas of the project?

And how do you build enough ownership and trust that your manager and team naturally depend on you, instead of allowing someone else to control the narrative about your work?

I'd really appreciate practical advice from people who have dealt with this kind of situation.

Thank you in advance!!🙏🙏

Help!!🙏🙏

Looking for genuine advice on SEBI Grade A IT preparation at 28

I’m planning to seriously start preparing for SEBI Grade A (IT), but I’m honestly quite confused and would really appreciate advice from people who have already cleared it or are preparing for it.

I’ve completed 28, so the age limit is a major concern for me and I don’t have many attempts left. That’s also making me question whether I’m starting too late and whether it’s realistically possible to crack the exam from scratch while working a full-time job.

I have a technical background, but I haven’t prepared specifically for SEBI before. I’d like to know:

\- Is it realistically possible to crack SEBI Grade A IT with limited attempts?

\- What should my preparation strategy look like, especially if I can manage around 3–4 hours on weekdays and more on weekends?

\- Which subjects/topics should I prioritise first?

\- What are the best resources for Phase 1 and Phase 2 IT?

\- Are there any good courses, classes, test series or mentorship programs that are actually worth paying for?

\- If you have cleared the exam, what resources did you personally use?

\- How important are previous-year questions and mocks?

\- How should I balance preparation with a demanding full-time job without burning out?

\- And honestly, how do you deal with the anxiety, self-doubt and emotional low phases that come with preparing for a competitive exam while also working?

I’m not looking for generic “just work hard” advice. I’d really appreciate practical guidance from people who have actually gone through this journey, especially working professionals who started preparation relatively late.

If you know of any good SEBI IT courses, teachers, study plans, mentorship groups or resources, please share them. Even a small piece of advice about what you wish you had known when you started would be really helpful.

I’m willing to put in the effort; I just want to make sure I’m putting it in the right direction. Thanks in advance.🙏🙏🙏

Help!!🙏🙏

Looking for genuine advice on SEBI Grade A IT preparation at 28

I’m planning to seriously start preparing for SEBI Grade A (IT), but I’m honestly quite confused and would really appreciate advice from people who have already cleared it or are preparing for it.

I’ve completed 28, so the age limit is a major concern for me and I don’t have many attempts left. That’s also making me question whether I’m starting too late and whether it’s realistically possible to crack the exam from scratch while working a full-time job.

I have a technical background, but I haven’t prepared specifically for SEBI before. I’d like to know:

\- Is it realistically possible to crack SEBI Grade A IT with limited attempts?

\- What should my preparation strategy look like, especially if I can manage around 3–4 hours on weekdays and more on weekends?

\- Which subjects/topics should I prioritise first?

\- What are the best resources for Phase 1 and Phase 2 IT?

\- Are there any good courses, classes, test series or mentorship programs that are actually worth paying for?

\- If you have cleared the exam, what resources did you personally use?

\- How important are previous-year questions and mocks?

\- How should I balance preparation with a demanding full-time job without burning out?

\- And honestly, how do you deal with the anxiety, self-doubt and emotional low phases that come with preparing for a competitive exam while also working?

I’m not looking for generic “just work hard” advice. I’d really appreciate practical guidance from people who have actually gone through this journey, especially working professionals who started preparation relatively late.

If you know of any good SEBI IT courses, teachers, study plans, mentorship groups or resources, please share them. Even a small piece of advice about what you wish you had known when you started would be really helpful.

I’m willing to put in the effort; I just want to make sure I’m putting it in the right direction. Thanks in advance.🙏🙏🙏

Help!!🙏🙏

Looking for genuine advice on SEBI Grade A IT preparation at 28

I’m planning to seriously start preparing for SEBI Grade A (IT), but I’m honestly quite confused and would really appreciate advice from people who have already cleared it or are preparing for it.

I’ve completed 28, so the age limit is a major concern for me and I don’t have many attempts left. That’s also making me question whether I’m starting too late and whether it’s realistically possible to crack the exam from scratch while working a full-time job.

I have a technical background, but I haven’t prepared specifically for SEBI before. I’d like to know:

- Is it realistically possible to crack SEBI Grade A IT with limited attempts?

- What should my preparation strategy look like, especially if I can manage around 3–4 hours on weekdays and more on weekends?

- Which subjects/topics should I prioritise first?

- What are the best resources for Phase 1 and Phase 2 IT?

- Are there any good courses, classes, test series or mentorship programs that are actually worth paying for?

- If you have cleared the exam, what resources did you personally use?

- How important are previous-year questions and mocks?

- How should I balance preparation with a demanding full-time job without burning out?

- And honestly, how do you deal with the anxiety, self-doubt and emotional low phases that come with preparing for a competitive exam while also working?

I’m not looking for generic “just work hard” advice. I’d really appreciate practical guidance from people who have actually gone through this journey, especially working professionals who started preparation relatively late.

If you know of any good SEBI IT courses, teachers, study plans, mentorship groups or resources, please share them. Even a small piece of advice about what you wish you had known when you started would be really helpful.

I’m willing to put in the effort; I just want to make sure I’m putting it in the right direction. Thanks in advance.🙏🙏🙏

I’m dealing with a situation where my manager seems to show clear favouritism toward certain people on the team. Some employees get more visibility, support, and opportunities, while others are expected to handle their work quietly without much recognition.

What makes it frustrating is that I’m actually putting in extra effort, taking ownership, fixing broken processes, and trying to make things better, but it sometimes feels like being hardworking isn’t enough when your manager already has favourites.

For those who have dealt with favouritism at work, how did you handle it without getting involved in office politics?

Did you:

- Keep your head down and just focus on your work?

- Start documenting your contributions?

- Try to build a better relationship with the manager?

- Directly address the favouritism?

- Or simply stop expecting recognition and focus on your career?

Would really appreciate advice from people who have been through this, especially on how to protect your career without becoming part of the politics.

I genuinely want to understand how managers view this and if you could give any advice to a employee who feels overlooked in favour of others, what would it be?

Would especially love honest answers even if it’s something employee might not want to hear.