u/No-Physics4859

This might be an odd question, but I've struggled with feeling too lazy or being too busy to eat for a good portion of my life. I think because my body has gotten used to being hungry so often and unintentionally starving itself, i often don’t even register when I’m hungry, and if I do feel hungry I’m often too lazy at all to make myself food or a bowl of food that's even already made up.

This period of my life has been awful, everything terrifies me, living terrifies me I’m too anxious and afraid to do anything. my relationship with my dad has only made everything significantly worse.. I feel deep shame about who I am but can't even do anything, I am completely stuck and I don’t even have any desire to live or do anything. I have no job. I've been laying around in my bed for the past year . I'm only 20 but It is so shameful. I feel deeply guilty. I know everybody judges me. I don’t blame them. I’m too scared I don’t even want to live but I’m too much of a coward to die either. Being me is so exhausting. I don't want it anymore

And vice versa like can the daughter be the one who also lacks boundaries? And what causes this?

And vice versa like can the daughter be the one who lacks the boundaries? And what is the cause of this?

I thinks It’s completely valid to say "I didn't ask you to do that" especially when someone tries to use something they did for you voluntarily, presumably out of kindness or goodwill as a kind of leverage to guilt or manipulate you.

I’m 20 years old and I feel completely stuck. I can get up every day, shower, get dressed, go for a walk, and do the things I’m supposed to do.. but the entire time spent out of my bed I feel a constant sense of dread, apathy, and anxiety, like my body is stuck in a visceral state of being on edge.

I don’t feel interested in anything anymore... I try hard to enjoy new things but I feel nothing. I don’t feel excited about the future and I don’t have a desire to be anywhere or do anything. I spend most of my time in my bed.

I live in a small town, I don’t drive, and I don’t really want to own a car... I know I need to get part-time work, but every job I’ve had has eventually left me feeling so depressed and overwhelmed that I quit.
I feel incredibly ashamed and guilty because I know this is the age where I'm supposed to be doing something with myself.

I’m on 20mg of lexapro and have been for about 4 months I’m not sure if that’s helped much with anything though..
I don’t have friends I've never been in a relationship I don't enjoy anything enough to even remotely consider being able to dedicate the rest of my life to it.

I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of constant anxiety and emptiness while still being able to “function” on the outside. What helped you?.. How do you start building a life when you don’t feel any motivation or excitement for one?

More specifically in regards to anxiety and ocd

I’m struggling to understand a pattern in myself and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
I recently reconnected with my dad after many years of being apart and we have developed a really close relationship and I care about him a lot. But I’ve noticed that whenever there is conflict, he seems distant, or I feel like I’ve upset him or feel unwanted my reaction feels completely disproportionate to what is happening.

For context he lives in Budapest and I live in Australia so it makes everything all the more difficult as we never actually get to see each other.

It doesn’t just feel like "my dad is annoyed” or “we had an argument.” My body and brain immediately start spiralling like it's the end of the world, I become incredibly depressed and emotional. I’m usually bawling for hours on end as I convince myself that he won't want to speak to me again.. it completely consumes my life at the moment I’m always anxious that I’m too much for him that I've ruined everything that soon enough he'll just get sick of me. I know I probably am quite intense and difficult though..

This has happened since the very beginning of reconnecting with him. The first argument we had left me completely devastated for hours, and it keeps repeating.
How do people learn to stop feeling this way? My entire life seems to revolve around him at the moment and I have no one else to confide in.

I’m struggling to understand a pattern in myself and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
I recently reconnected with my dad after many years of being apart and we have developed a really close relationship and I care about him a lot. But I’ve noticed that whenever there is conflict, he seems distant, or I feel like I’ve upset him or feel unwanted my reaction feels completely disproportionate to what is happening.

For context he lives in Budapest and I live in Australia so it makes everything all the more difficult as we never actually get to see each other.

It doesn’t just feel like "my dad is annoyed” or “we had an argument.” My body and brain immediately start spiralling like it's the end of the world, I become incredibly depressed and emotional. I’m usually bawling for hours on end as I convince myself that he won't want to speak to me again.. it completely consumes my life at the moment I’m always anxious that I’m too much for him that I've ruined everything that soon enough he'll just get sick of me. I know I probably am quite intense and difficult though..

This has happened since the very beginning of reconnecting with him. The first argument we had left me completely devastated for hours, and it keeps repeating.
How do people learn to stop feeling this way? My entire life seems to revolve around him at the moment and I have no one else to confide in.

I’m struggling to understand a pattern in myself and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
I recently reconnected with my dad after many years of being apart and we have developed a really close relationship and I care about him a lot. But I’ve noticed that whenever there is conflict, he seems distant, or I feel like I’ve upset him or feel unwanted my reaction feels completely disproportionate to what is happening.

For context he lives in Budapest and I live in Australia so it makes everything all the more difficult as we never actually get to see each other.

It doesn’t just feel like "my dad is annoyed” or “we had an argument.” My body and brain immediately start spiralling like it's the end of the world, I become incredibly depressed and emotional. I’m usually bawling for hours on end as I convince myself that he won't want to speak to me again.. it completely consumes my life at the moment I’m always anxious that I’m too much for him that I've ruined everything that soon enough he'll just get sick of me. I know I probably am quite intense and difficult though..

This has happened since the very beginning of reconnecting with him. The first argument we had left me completely devastated for hours, and it keeps repeating.
How do people learn to stop feeling this way? My entire life seems to revolve around him at the moment and I have no one else to confide in.

I’m struggling to understand a pattern in myself and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
I recently reconnected with my dad after many years of being apart and we have developed a really close relationship and I care about him a lot. But I’ve noticed that whenever there is conflict, he seems distant, or I feel like I’ve upset him or feel unwanted my reaction feels completely disproportionate to what is happening.

For context he lives in Budapest and I live in Australia so it makes everything all the more difficult as we never actually get to see each other.

It doesn’t just feel like "my dad is annoyed” or “we had an argument.” My body and brain immediately start spiralling like it's the end of the world, I become incredibly depressed and emotional. I’m usually bawling for hours on end as I convince myself that he won't want to speak to me again.. it completely consumes my life at the moment I’m always anxious that I’m too much for him that I've ruined everything that soon enough he'll just get sick of me. I know I probably am quite intense and difficult though..

This has happened since the very beginning of reconnecting with him. The first argument we had left me completely devastated for hours, and it keeps repeating.
How do people learn to stop feeling this way? My entire life seems to revolve around him at the moment and I have no one else to confide in.

My father lives in Hungary while I live in Australia. After 14 years of having no contact, we recently reconnected and developed a really close relationship. He came to visit me in Australia for a few weeks, and more recently I travelled to Budapest to stay with him, his wife, and their toddler for three months. I couldn't process how overwhelming the experience would be for me.. suddenly being immersed in that already established family dynamic and feeling like I had been replaced and had no where to escape to.... being there was horribly anxiety inducing and painful for me, to a point where I had begun self harming. I left thinking I just couldn't force myself to be around his family in the future. But he is insistent on me coming back there... i live in a pretty dysfunctional house in Australia as my mother is an alcoholic and it has caused many problems.. I have expressed many times to my father that I am not comfortable being around his family and I don’t want a relationship with them. He becomes very offended that I would rather chose to live in my home here then stay with him and his family. It's not like I don't want to be with him but I just can't stomach it there. He tells me I am horrible and unpleasant. He constantly invalidates and dismisses my reasons and feelings. He believes I am rejecting his whole life... and insists that I need to go therapy to work on and change these feelings. I know I might need therapy.. but I don't believe my boundary should have to change. it often escalates and turns into some sort of ultimatum that we cannot have any sort of meaningful relationship if I don't come back there.. I don't know what to do, he cannot travel back to Australia as he hates it here and it is too expensive for him. I’m lost

My father lives in Hungary while I live in Australia. After 14 years of having no contact, we recently reconnected and developed a really close relationship. He came to visit me in Australia for a few weeks, and more recently I travelled to Budapest to stay with him, his wife, and their toddler for three months. I couldn't process how overwhelming the experience would be for me.. suddenly being immersed in that already established family dynamic and feeling like I had been replaced and had no where to escape to.... being there was horribly anxiety inducing and painful for me, to a point where I had begun self harming. I left thinking I just couldn't force myself to be around his family in the future. But he is insistent on me coming back there... i live in a pretty dysfunctional house in Australia as my mother is an alcoholic and it has caused many problems.. I have expressed many times to my father that I am not comfortable being around his family and I don’t want a relationship with them. He becomes very offended that I would rather chose to live in my home here then stay with him and his family. It's not like I don't want to be with him but I just can't stomach it there. He tells me I am horrible and unpleasant. He constantly invalidates and dismisses my reasons and feelings. He believes I am rejecting his whole life... and insists that I need to go therapy to work on and change these feelings. I know I might need therapy.. but I don't believe my boundary should have to change. it often escalates and turns into some sort of ultimatum that we cannot have any sort of meaningful relationship if I don't come back there.. I don't know what to do, he cannot travel back to Australia as he hates it here and it is too expensive for him. I’m lost