u/NoMourners_6Crows

I grew up in a poor mining town with my best friend. After both our fathers died in the same mining accident, we started hunting together to keep our families fed. We spent years making sure our siblings had food. We were as close as two people can be, and I genuinely thought we'd have a future together.

Then she got selected for our country's annual televised child death tournament.

She survived, which was honestly a miracle. The downside was that she came home with a nationally beloved boyfriend. She told me the romance was mostly for survival. I believed her because, frankly, I don't think kissing someone on live television is anyone's first choice. It still wasn't exactly easy watching the entire country root for them while I was back home wondering if she was even coming back.

A while later our entire town was bombed.

I helped evacuate as many people as I could, joined the rebellion, and spent the rest of the war trying to help end it as quickly as possible. My friend became the symbol of the whole thing, which was great, except she started questioning basically every military decision anyone made.

I kept saying that if you're fighting people who have spent decades murdering children for entertainment, you don't exactly have the luxury of playing nice.

Because I had experience with traps and hunting, I got asked to help come up with military tactics. I wasn't a commander. I wasn't approving missions. I wasn't picking targets. I was just contributing ideas that could help us win.

Unfortunately, one of those ideas ended up being used in an attack that killed my friend's little sister.

I had no idea she would be there. I didn't authorize the attack. I wasn't even present. But now everyone acts like I personally flew over and dropped the explosives myself.

To make things worse, after everything was over, she chose the other guy. I get that they went through something traumatic together, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt after everything we'd been through before any of this started.

Apparently it doesn't matter that I helped keep her family alive for years, got people out before our district was destroyed, fought in a war to stop an authoritarian government, and generally dedicated my entire adult life to helping other people.

Instead, I'm forever "the guy whose idea got someone killed."

I understand why she's grieving. I really do. But I also think people are forgetting that we were fighting a war, and like they say, all is fair in love and war.

AITA?

I [29m] have been friends with Chad [32m] since we were born. Our moms are best friends and we grew up together and were roommates for the last 10 years, up until the incident that set our current situation into motion.
A little backstory. I have this... streak if you will? Basically every woman I date more than a few times ends up finding her soulmate after we break up. It's a thing. It started three years ago and it's now happened five times. We break things off and the very next person they date ends up being The One.

My friends think this is hilarious. I always part ways with the women on good terms, and I'm happy they're happy. But my buddies tease me mercilessly about it. They call me the good luck charm.

Anyway, forward to five months ago. I dated Hope [28f] for a few weeks. Not a big deal. We decided we weren't feeling it, no chemistry, so we called it quits. And then lo and behold she hits it off with Chad. Of course in true Good Luck Charm fashion, this means Chad is her soulmate. Chad is all googly-eyed over her, they've met the parents, they're ring shopping-and they want to move in together. Immediately.

The only problem is that Chad has six more months on our lease but found a perfect new house for him and Hope, and he can't afford to pay rent on two places at the same time. So he had to make the difficult decision to screw me over or screw her over-and he picked me. Now I have to find a way to cover his rent until the lease is up.

I've always wanted a dog, but Chad would never agree to it. So I went to a rescue and found the ugliest animal there. The one so hideous, nobody else wanted it. This dog's got an underbite and mange, and he's missing half an ear. He's a little Brussels Griffon, so he's got that deep frown-he looks like a judgmental gremlin. I adopted him and named him Chad since the dog is now my new best friend. If you're reading this, you're dead to me, human Chad. (Not really, I still love the guy.) But I tag him in the captions of every Chad the Dog Instagram post with "Look, a loyal Chad!"

Chad laughs it all off, but Hope is upset and says I should rename the dog. Chad's mom agrees and says I'm not allowed to come over until I change the name, which kind of sucks because she's my mom's best friend and I end up there a lot for family stuff. I'm still not doing it.

Am I petty? Yes. But am I the asshole?

For context, I 26 F live with my brother 24 M and we have been living together for quite a while; 6 years. My brother, We'll call him Ezra and I don't have the best relationship but we decided to live in an apartment together because it was easier in terms of rent and everything. I am and have been openly gay for quite some time now, I don't make it my whole personality or anything and I don't tell everyone I meet about it because I simply don't feel the need to. I also don't really date or hookup with anyone. On the contrary, Ezra is always bringing girls home, which i honestly don't mind.

The problem is: he once started dating a girl, we'll call her Tina, and i know her from the coffee shop i go to all the time. I didn't mind much until things got weird between us, I'll admit, the girl is really hot. Obviously, i wouldn't do that to my brother so I repressed the feeling. Up until the girl came to my birthday party and kissed me...

Afterwards, things got weird. I tried ignoring both of them for nearly two months in order not to confront this. Though one evening, Tina shows up while Ezra's not there. I tell her he's gone and she tells me she's there for me.... Obviously, I found it weird. And as you might or might not expect, she kissed me. I didn't push her away because I honestly liked it... Then, Ezra came home tipsy with a girl and saw us.

He had apparently cheated on Tina with "Hanna" the girl he was with, and came to apologize. It was a bit weird and they broke up. Literally the next day, Tina and I hooked up... We started dating a couple months after.

It was all okay with my brother up until my girlfriend announced her pregnancy. We had been trying to make this happen for a while but had kept it a secret because we didn't want to tell people in case it didn't work.

Now, Ezra is pissed at me because he apparently thought it wouldn't last between us.. We've been dating for 5 years. I don't know if he was expecting us to break up so he'd take her back or something but im a bit taken by aback since he's been supportive since the beginning.

So, AITA? And what should I do?

Edit: Tina and I used a donor for the baby. (In case some are confused about how she's pregnant if we're wlw)

Edit 2: I have read a lot of comments already, first of all, wow you guys are fast! Second of all, thanks for answering. I understand from all you that I am the ah and for some, everyone is the ah. Also, no, this isn't AI lol. Tina and I will be moving out as soon as we can (we currently do not live together) and I obviously owe my brother quite the apology. It did strongly help tho to hear from other's perspective and see how they view this whole thing. Thank you all

So my wife (F36) and I (M35) have two kids. She is a SAHM. I do most the house chores most days (vacuum, laundry, bathrooms, organize play spaces), I also make breakfast for the family every morning before I go to work and get the kids to sleep (3 and 6 yo). The only thing I don’t do is the back yard, but that’s her garden so not my responsibility.

That was the context for what I do on a daily basis.

She, be choice, leads a learning co-op (not a play group but a learning group that requires her to create curriculum), started a new summer gardening class for kids, and is currently taking three childhood development classes via online community college (about 2-4 hours of work each day).

She has no free time and has asked me to take on more responsibilities for our family, ones that would have been on her plate.

I’m done. I am I the asshole for not wanting to do even more since this was all self-inflicted? Or do I step up and “rescue” her from her own choices. Again.

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Hi everyone,

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I'm an incoming Psychology student and I've been thinking a lot about college lately, so I thought I'd ask current students and alumni for some advice.

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A little background: I took PCB with Psychology in Classes 11 and 12. While I enjoyed Psychology, the last two years were honestly quite difficult for me. I did well in the subjects that interested me, but overall the experience affected my confidence a lot, both academically and personally. Because of that, and because Ashoka is a significant financial commitment for my family even after aid, I want to make sure I make the best possible use of the opportunities available.

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I had a few questions:

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Academics and GPA

-What do assessments in Foundation Courses usually look like?

-What do assessments in Psychology courses look like? Are they mostly exams, essays, presentations, research papers, projects, or a mix of everything?

-For students who maintained a strong GPA, what habits or strategies helped the most from the very beginning?

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Minors and future plans

I've always enjoyed writing, literature and languages, and for a long time I assumed I would do a Psychology major with an English-related minor.

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However, I'm also hoping to pursue higher education abroad in the future and would ideally like to be competitive for scholarships or funding. Given that goal, how important is a minor really? Are there any minors that you think complement Psychology particularly well?

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Living away from home

For students from Delhi NCR, how often do you realistically go home? Is coming home most weekends manageable, or do people usually end up going less frequently?

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Food and budgeting

I've also been trying to understand the food system and budgeting side of things. Realistically, how much do students tend to spend on food in a semester? Is it possible to keep costs relatively low, or does most people's spending end up significantly exceeding the initial food balance?

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Resident Assistant positions

I've heard about Resident Assistant positions from 3rd year onwards and was curious about what the role is actually like.

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How competitive is the selection process?

How much time does the role take alongside academics and extracurriculars?

Is it manageable, and would you recommend it?

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Since finances are a consideration for me, I'd also love to know whether the compensation and benefits make it worthwhile.

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Adjusting to university life

This is a slightly more personal question.

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The last couple of years have left me feeling much less confident than I used to be, and I sometimes find myself hesitant to speak up in new environments even though that's not how I was before.

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For people who came to Ashoka feeling similarly, how did you adjust? How did you become comfortable participating in class discussions, clubs, and other activities?

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I know this is a long post, but I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences, mistakes to avoid, and things you wish someone had told you before first year.

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Thank you!

My sister has been dating this guy she met on a dating app. Allegedly the guy comes from a wealthy family which met my sister’s criteria in choosing a boyfriend. However, as their relationship progressed, I found several offensive attitude from the guy and his family.

1. ⁠His family initially did not approve of their relationship because they found out that we have a sibling with autism, and that it might potentially cause their future descendants to have autism as well

. They said “if we knew that the girl you’re going to introduce to us had a sibling with autism, we shouldnt have met with her in the first place”

1. ⁠The guy never said hi to me whenever we meet. I find it rude
2. ⁠When my sister introduced the guy to our extended family members, she told him to greet them and bow to show respect and he remarked “is that needed?”
3. ⁠The guy’s family asked my sister on our father’s roots (our father is adopted so he does not know the exact family history). When my dad said he did not know anything, my sister even suggested to just lie and make up a story towards the parents of her boyfriend so she will be accepted to their family. My dad found out about this and got hurt

These are just some of the rude things that my sister, her boyfriend and his family did. They had more rude moments but it’s a lot to mention

One year into their relationship, suddenly the parents of the guy are okay with their relationship and are urging them to marry immediately (i dont know why they were suddenly okay with everything. It’s also odd). So now (6 months later) the guy proposed and they are engaged.

It baffled me how my sister is okay with everything despite his family’s judgment towards mine, just because the guy is wealthy. I am starting to hate on my sister because I feel betrayed and I’m starting to think that she is a gold digger.

Whenever I see both of them together or whenever my sister opens up about his boyfriend, I can’t help but make hate or nonchalant remarks like “K” or “whatever”. AITA for doing this?

I (29F) have always been very serious about holidays. Christmas, birthdays, Arbor Day, all of it. My husband (31M) thinks some holidays are "made up," which I already find disrespectful because literally every holiday is made up.

Today was National Sewing Machine Day. I had taken the day off work and spent weeks preparing. I decorated the house with little bobbins, baked a cake shaped like a Singer sewing machine, and invited my family over for what I called a "stitch and bitch."

When my husband got home, he asked why there was a sewing machine at the head of the dining table.

I explained that it was the guest of honor.

He laughed.

I said I didn't see what was funny.

He said, and I quote, "It's a sewing machine."

I reminded him that on his birthday we all sit around celebrating a person, and frankly the sewing machine has probably contributed more to society than most people.

Things escalated. He refused to join us in singing Happy National Sewing Machine Day. He also declined to make a gratitude statement about sewing technology. My mother ended up crying because she felt he was mocking our traditions.

The final straw was when he cut into the cake before I had finished reading a brief history of sewing machine development.

Now he's saying I'm overreacting and that National Sewing Machine Day isn't a real holiday. My family says he's being culturally insensitive. His family says I've "joined a sewing cult."

AITA?

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>!https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/s/OfytAGpa1N!<

My girlfriend [27F] and I [41M] have been together for about a month. Things have been going really well.

Today is Miranda Day, which is a holiday that's important to her family. Her dad was a police officer for over 30 years and apparently they celebrate it every year.

I wanted to make a good impression, so I spent most of the week putting together a surprise. I ordered a custom cake that said "You Have The Right To Remain Fabulous" and had it delivered to her office.

She seemed to love it.

A few hours later she texted me saying her ex had also sent her something for Miranda Day. I didn't think much of it. They were together for several years and I know some people stay friendly with exes.

Then she uploaded a photo dump from her Miranda Day celebration.

The first photo was my cake.

The second photo was her ex's gift.

The third photo was both gifts sitting side-by-side on the same table.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I felt weird about that. I don't understand why my gift needed to be displayed next to another man's gift.

When I brought it up, she said I was "making Miranda Day about myself."

I asked her how she'd feel if I posted Valentine's gifts from multiple women next to each other.

She said that wasn't the same because "Miranda Day isn't romantic."

Now she's upset because she says I'm creating drama around a holiday meant to celebrate constitutional rights.

AITA?

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>!https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/s/OfytAGpa1N!<

Obligatory throwaway account, people irl know my main account.

I'm pregnant but I'm not supposed to be. My fiancé and I are childfree. We spoke about it in depth when we started getting serious, and every now and then touch on the subject to make sure with both on the same page. We've been together for 2 years, engaged for 3 months and in that entire time not once have we had a pregnancy scare. I'm on birth control, he uses condoms. We're careful.

Then I started feeling a bit under the weather. I've been feeling nauseous or at times have a lack of appetite, I get headaches or feel a bit light headed, and I've been getting tired more easily. These symptoms kept persisting and I went to the doctor thinking I've caught something. They do a routine exam, including a pregnancy test, and then eventually come back to tell me I'm around 6-7 weeks pregnant. I kind of laugh because no? I'm on BC, there's no way. I tell them to do the test again, but they're confident the test is accurate. They couldn't do an ultrasound at the time, but booked me in for another appointment. I'm internally freaking out at this point because somehow my BC's failed and I need to go tell my fiancé.

Cut to the conversation and I'm a mess. I'm crying and snotty and barely getting my words out. He does what I expect and comforts me. He hugs me and tells me everything will be okay, and my God, I temporarily felt so much relief. And then it's all shattered and my anxiety is kicked into overdrive when he tells me we'll make great parents and that he'll be with me every step of the way.

I don't know, it's like my whole world tilted on an axis? It's really difficult to explain how much his words affected me because one of the key foundations of our life and future was that our lifestyles are so aligned, and here he is telling me he wants to keep the baby. I ask him what he means, and he says it's clearly a miracle I'm pregnant because we managed to conceive despite everything we've done to prevent having babies.

I tell him we're supposed to be childfree, we both agreed we didn't want kids. He says that's true but now that I'm pregnant, things are different. No?? I wanted him to come with me so I could get an abortion. I've never been pregnant before, I've never had an abortion before. I'm TERRIFIED to go by myself. I really need him there with me and supporting me and being my rock because I have no idea how painful it will be. I don't have anyone else in my life I trust to support me through this.

Eventually he tells me to go to bed and get some rest because I'm clearly overwhelmed. Which, yeah, I am, but not for the reason he thinks.I am 100% sure I don't want this baby. I don't want to be pregnant or give birth or raise a child. I don't want this.

How do I tell him I want to get an abortion? I'm so confused and upset because he's SO excited? It's like he's done a 180 and I'm afraid I'll be breaking his heart.

Before anyone asks, I've tried getting my tubes tied. I've seen three different doctors and none of them would sign off on me having the surgery. Up until this point, birth control and condoms had always been enough.

TLDR: Fiancé and I are childfree, I'm now pregnant. Fiancé wants to keep the baby while I want to get rid of it. Need advice on how to tell him.

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I (32M) was engaged to my ex-fiancée “D” (31F) for about three years. We had recently moved to my hometown together after buying a house and were supposed to get married this summer.

For context, my best friend “P” (32F) and I have known each other since third grade. Our families are extremely close, we grew up vacationing together, and people always joked we’d end up together someday. I genuinely never thought of her that way before all this happened. She was in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend “M.”

A few months ago, during my bachelor party weekend, everyone else went home and P and I stayed behind talking. She admitted she was in love with me, and I realized I felt the same way.

Before anyone asks: no, nothing physical happened before I ended my engagement.

The next morning, I told D immediately because I didn’t think it would be fair to marry her once I knew how I felt. Since the house was legally mine, she unfortunately had to move out. I know people are going to focus on this part, but I genuinely was trying to make the situation easier by printing apartment listings for her ahead of time, and P and I left town for a week afterward to give her space.

Things obviously went badly. D was devastated, M took it badly too, and because they both suddenly needed places to stay, D ended up moving in with M temporarily.

At the time, I honestly thought I was making the mature choice. I know people will say emotional cheating is still cheating, but I truly didn’t realize I had feelings for P before that night. Looking back now, I think both of us panicked because my wedding made our relationship change in a permanent way, and we confused that emotional intensity and nostalgia with being in love.

After several months together, P and I realized we actually weren’t compatible romantically. I think deep down I knew pretty early on that I’d made a mistake, but by then I’d already destroyed my relationship and embarrassed everyone involved, so I felt like I had to commit to seeing things through instead of making an even bigger mess.

Eventually P and I broke up. The relationship honestly made me realize how badly I’d screwed up my life with D. What D and I had was stable, loving, and healthy, and I think I sabotaged it because I panicked about marriage and chased some idealized fantasy instead.

So recently I went to apologize to D and ask if she’d ever consider trying again.

She rejected me completely and accused me of lying to her for years about P. But I genuinely wasn’t lying. When I told D there was nothing romantic between me and P, I believed that.

The other complication is that D and M are apparently together now, which I honestly did not expect.

I know this is probably going to make me sound worse, but I don’t think they’re actually compatible long-term. M’s a nice enough guy, but he’s always been kind of directionless in my opinion. He’s a huge stoner, doesn’t really have career ambitions, and mostly drifts through life. D is extremely organized, thoughtful, ambitious, etc. Even when M was with P, I honestly thought she could do better.

Before I left D’s apartment, I told her I thought M and P would probably end up reconnecting now that P and I were over, especially because he’d apparently spent all day helping P move out after the breakup. D thinks I only said that to upset her or undermine the relationship.

Now she refuses to answer my messages, and several mutual friends think I’m selfish and still refusing to take accountability for what I did.

AITA?