u/Objective-Beat6767

I Edit: I also find myself not wanting to text people back or answer anyone, not wanting to call anyone. Ever. It’s hard for me to keep conversations going unless it’s someone I trust fully.

I am 16yrs, female.

Before I begin my mother has always told me I was diagnosed with social anxiety at the age of 3 after coming home from a transition home. But I don’t remember so I’m not going to say I have anything because I don’t know.

Every time I have plans the same day or a couple days away, I feel like I can’t do anything else or it will ruin everything.

Then by the time i’m supposed to leave I’m usually not fully ready and almost never want to actually go, because I spent all the time I had worrying about how much time I will have.

If I have something to do or get asked to do something, my mind starts telling me “I don’t want to do this” I’m not a lazy person, I love to do stuff. It’s before the event where I dread.

If I really really don’t want to go, I can’t or I know I will not have a good time nor enjoy myself, If I do go when my mind has that “I don’t want to do this” worry, I don’t have fun and I’m stuck waiting to go back home to my safe place, see my cats and be in my own house.

Theres a rare occasion where I actually do want to go and look forward to the upcoming plans/event, where I do enjoy myself etc. But that’s rare.

This makes me sound like such a lazy person, I don’t want to be lazy.

I feel like I just prefer to do my things at home.

I workout at home, I take my cats for walks around our backyard, I always clean to keep myself busy, I find myself rearranging furniture all the time, drawing and colouring, writing. I find stuff to keep me busy; just at home.

It’s also the summer and I have way less to keep me busy than before, maybe I’m burnout from school and just want to chill out.

Why do I dread having plans.

Edit: I also find myself not wanting to text people back or answer anyone, not wanting to call anyone. Ever. It’s hard for me to keep conversations going unless it’s someone I trust fully

I am 16yrs, female.

Before I begin my mother has always told me I was diagnosed with social anxiety at the age of 3 after coming home from a transition home. But I don’t remember so I’m not going to say I have anything because I don’t know.

Every time I have plans the same day or a couple days away, I feel like I can’t do anything else or it will ruin everything.

Then by the time i’m supposed to leave I’m usually not fully ready and almost never want to actually go, because I spent all the time I had worrying about how much time I will have.

If I have something to do or get asked to do something, my mind starts telling me “I don’t want to do this” I’m not a lazy person, I love to do stuff. It’s before the event where I dread.

If I really really don’t want to go, I can’t or I know I will not have a good time nor enjoy myself, If I do go when my mind has that “I don’t want to do this” worry, I don’t have fun and I’m stuck waiting to go back home to my safe place, see my cats and be in my own house.

Theres a rare occasion where I actually do want to go and look forward to the upcoming plans/event, where I do enjoy myself etc. But that’s rare.

This makes me sound like such a lazy person, I don’t want to be lazy.

I feel like I just prefer to do my things at home.

I workout at home, I take my cats for walks around our backyard, I always clean to keep myself busy, I find myself rearranging furniture all the time, drawing and colouring, writing. I find stuff to keep me busy; just at home.

It’s also the summer and I have way less to keep me busy than before, maybe I’m burnout from school and just want to chill out.

Why do I dread having plans.

I am not overweight, I never have been.

I’m 16/F and I’ve been anywhere between 115-130 pounds since puberty started for me at 11.

Right now I weigh 120 pounds. I don’t have any issue at ALL with my weight or my body.

Except a double chin that isn’t big enough to be considered fat but almost always noticeable.

I’ve worn double chin masks off amazon, I’ve done every workout possible to get rid of it, I eat good/healthy.

It will not go away.

What do I do?

Is it baby/face fat that will go away?

Is it genetics?

Is it just my face?

I noticed this issue when I was 14, right after I moved back home to my mother.

I am 16yrs old/female. Do I have anger issues or is my anger just built up resentment/unresolved anger built up overtime.

For a little context, I moved out of my mother’s house three times, I moved back when I was 14 and I have been here since.

My mother has a drug problem and she has had one since before I was born, she’s narcissistic, manipulative, mean addict behaviour.

My whole life it’s felt like she’s been competing with me, trying to one up me in everything or show me who’s boss.
She says things all the time like this.
“I do this way more than you” “Your cat slept on my bed last night not yours” “I’ve been doing it longer” stuff like that. She is always on and off the dope.

So, shortly after I moved home I noticed this powerful sense of anger that I never had before. I scared myself half to death the first time I ever raised my voice. I saw pure terror in my mother’s eyes that day.

I would wake up irritated and annoyed, I would go to bed angry. I was always on edge and I was always yelling back at my mother, instead of crying. I threw things, I smashed things. I beat my hand with glass bottles, I ripped at my hair, I hit myself in the head.

I was always so irritated my toes would always be curling. Because I had anger in every part of my body. I would yell until I threw up. There were even a few very rare times my vision would go white, red or black out completely. I just start saying things and I physically can’t stop myself because of how much anger my body is producing.

All my mother see’s in me is “my father”.

I’m 16 now and I don’t punch things or hit things, I don’t bash my knuckles with glass bottles. I try to keep my yelling in and I’ve learned to control myself much better. But I still wake up, go to bed angry somedays, or have days where my toes are never uncurled from the day being full of irritation.

I still live with my mother and maybe that’s the reason I’m full of rage. Maybe I’m also just an asshole.

I noticed this issue when I was 14, right after I moved back home to my mother.

I am 16yrs old/female. Do I have anger issues or is my anger just built up resentment/unresolved anger built up overtime.

For a little context, I moved out of my mother’s house three times, I moved back when I was 14 and I have been here since.

My mother has a drug problem and she has had one since before I was born, she’s narcissistic, manipulative, mean addict behaviour.

My whole life it’s felt like she’s been competing with me, trying to one up me in everything or show me who’s boss.
She says things all the time like this.
“I do this way more than you” “Your cat slept on my bed last night not yours” “I’ve been doing it longer” stuff like that. She is always on and off the dope.

So, shortly after I moved home I noticed this powerful sense of anger that I never had before. I scared myself half to death the first time I ever raised my voice. I saw pure terror in my mother’s eyes that day.

I would wake up irritated and annoyed, I would go to bed angry. I was always on edge and I was always yelling back at my mother, instead of crying. I threw things, I smashed things. I beat my hand with glass bottles, I ripped at my hair, I hit myself in the head.

I was always so irritated my toes would always be curling. Because I had anger in every part of my body. I would yell until I threw up. There were even a few very rare times my vision would go white, red or black out completely. I just start saying things and I physically can’t stop myself because of how much anger my body is producing.

All my mother see’s is “my father”.

I’m 16 now and I don’t punch things or hit things, I don’t bash my knuckles with glass bottles. I try to keep my yelling in and I’ve learned to control myself much better. But I still wake up, go to bed angry somedays, or have days where my toes are never uncurled from the day being full of irritation.

I still live with my mother and maybe that’s the reason I’m full of rage. I will take any advice or read any comments. Maybe I’m just an asshole?

*Even more*
Today I feel like getting some things off my chest and sharing my experience of what it was/is like having an addict parent(s)

My experience is still ongoing. I wouldn’t wish this upon anybody, nobody in this world no matter what. It hurts.

I was never taken away and I’m still living in it.

When I was younger It was both of my parents, now it’s just my mother. I’m only sixteen. (F)

My parents were always yelling, it was always about money.

Buying “no name” food, clothes and etc.

Hand me downs sucked because I have an older brother.

I notice I handle huge situations like they were nothing because I wasted all my worrying on my mother/father.

Before I realized, I was a very happy kid. My parents broke up when I was three, my brother used to beat on me and I was still okay and happy.

My entire world shifted after I found out, when I did, my mother was the only one addicted at the time and is the only one who struggles with addiction to this day.

I don’t hate my parents for what they put me through, I hate that they even had me in the first place. They planned for me, they wanted to have me, they had a name ready before I was born. What was the point, if this was the life I was given? I know their are others who have it way worse, thats also why I hesitated to even post this, but I’ve spent more of my life in hurt and misery than happiness and success? Why did they give me this life?

It’s like the life was sucked out of me, I didn’t get out of bed, I didn’t go to school, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep at night. I just laid in my bed for months as long as I could during a day, It felt like my heart had pretty much been stomped on.

I never saw my parents in any crowds during big events, school events or even my 9th grade graduation.

My dad was in jail all the time up until last year.

My mother had it bad; she would leave for days, come back and scream at anyone she could find first, sleep for days, her makeup was always smudged, there were random pill bottles everywhere, burnt spoons, missing silverware. She was always SO mean, it was like the things she said were purposely meant to hurt you. She got infections in her face several times from whatever she’d taken that night. She had debit and credit cards made in other peoples names, she drove without a legal license, she stole from me and my brother (to sell) she sold her own mothers wedding ring for crack. I don’t think she cares anymore. She did cocaine at my 11th birthday party. It hurts me more than I’ll ever be able to write. My brother fell into addiction for a few years too but luckily made it out. I am living in constant fear someone is going to leave me,
or my mother is going to pass away of overdoes any day now.

I did a lot of things on my own, I taught myself how to cook,clean, fold and do laundry. I did daily household tasks, I cooked up the last of our meats/pork for our cats when they had no food, I signed my own school forms, I got myself up, dressed and to the bus, I made all my appointments (when I got to a certain age) I did and do it on my own and I have been living the independent life since before I can even remember, I know I will do great things some day.

Our power and water was always running out, we would be out of food for weeks. My entire life has felt like a competition with my mother and I think I’ve been angry at the world ever since, I can’t let it go and I don’t know how.

Even if I didn’t know until I was 12, she was addicted since before I was born and I don’t think I have ever known her sober. I’m always angry, I don’t know how to trust people, I don’t know how to stop overthinking every little thing, I have a hard time expressing my
emotions. I think my mother’s addiction ruined me, at least for a while it has. I don’t know how to forgive her. I don’t think I ever fully could. I don’t think I have forgiveness left for either of my parents, I just started accepting who they were. I haven’t healed and I know that. I will one day, I believe it.

My mother and I. We talk as of this very day and live together, we laugh and joke, but the thought is always there “Is she really sober?” I am angry a lot, I bottle my feelings up, I put everyone above me, I don’t want to be in any relationships, I have this huge act put on so good to where everyone in my life thinks I don’t care about anything but in reality I care. way. too. much.

I think having an addict parent (s) is heartbreaking in every way possible. I also think addicts who plan to bring kids into this world are selfish.

Addiction is terrible, but the child of addiction suffers just as much, sometimes even more than the addict themselves.

I’ve completely run out of shows to watch and It’s driving me insane. It’s summer break, I live in a small town with not a whole lot to do ever, all of my friends successfully scored jobs while I am not able to work this summer. So on the days I’m not busy, at some point in the day I find myself bored out of my mind with nothing to watch on TV.

Now I obviously haven’t slumped and watched television my entire summer break, but I do binge TV on the days I nothing to do so I get through my shows quicker than I would like to.

Here is a list of some of my all time favourite’s to help you out :)

What I like about you (2002-2006)

One Tree Hill (2003-2012)

Malcolm In The Middle (2000)

Degrassi The Next Generation(only the first couple of seasons)

Full House (1995)

Friends (1994)

Two and A Half Men (2003)

Gilmore Girls (2000)

Shameless U.S (2011)

My Wife & Kids (2001)

Melissa and Joey (2010)

Blossom (1991)

Boy Meets World (1993)

Home Improvement (1991)

8 simple rules (2002)

Smart Guy (1997)

I think thats enough to get a good idea of what I’m into.

I’ve been thinking of watching Dawsons Creek, Threes A Company and the OC. Any good??

She/her

So far GREAT suggestions everyone, literally. You are my life savers. I have gotten so many great new recommendations I’ll be set for months. Thanks again, have a blessed day/night/morning !

Staind, Fuel, Linkin Park, Deftones, Presence, Lit, Chevelle, Superheaven, etc.

I love the 2000s a lot, specifically the music created back then, so I would love if anyone knew
more bands/songs that sound like the ones listed above.

I’m looking forward to any suggestions.

I am also happily interested in hearing any stories about the 2000s and what fun things everyone did.

And any
Makeup brands

Clothes brands

Furniture brands

Cars

Styles

Things everybody did back then !

Pretty much anything, any brand from the 2000s please leave down below.

I am going to start with some backstory about me and said guy, then where his new girlfriend seems “weird.” Please don’t hesitate to tell me if she’s the crazy one or me!

I (16/F) dated a guy named, I’ll call him Todd (16/M). I dated Todd almost 3 years ago. We were thirteen and thought we were in love.

Todd and I only dated for about 6 months before he broke up with me.
At the time I thought my life was over and that I would “never love anyone again.” I got over it, I moved on and I am honestly fully healed.

Todd and I’s relationship genuinely was not toxic or a bad relationship. We had silly arguments like every thirteen-year-old couple does, we went to movies together, we played video games together, etc. It was just two kids young, dumb and “in love.” 😂

I will honestly say we did not end on great terms. I begged him not to leave for 2–3 days after the breakup. It was very embarrassing thinking back on it. I gave up and accepted we were over. Since that day I haven’t spoken to him, checked his socials, tried to reach out, or seen him anywhere.

Todd met his new girlfriend, I’ll call her Stacey (17/F).
They met sometime in the last 2½ years. I saw a post on Instagram from a friend of a friend that they had hit their one-year anniversary not too long ago.

Throwback to September last year is where Stacy and I became familiar faces. I had started a new school because the school I was in before did not have all grade levels. Stacey had already been attending for a year before me, so I saw her around quite often. I didn’t know who she was until the summer before school opened back up.

The only reason I knew who she was, was because her TikTok was always in my post views or viewing my actual account. I didn’t care enough then, so of course I ignored it.

It has gotten to be very annoying. I feel like I have a stalker almost.
Every time I was in her eyesight she was looking. I mean it was obvious.
Every TikTok/story I have posted she’s been in the viewers list, she’s viewed my account, she’s (I’m assuming) accidentally liked and favourited posts, she’s viewed my spam account, my secret account and she’s viewed my profile on HER spam and secret accounts.
The usernames were a complete giveaway every time.

The way I’ve been handling it is by completely ignoring it. I don’t look at her when she looks at me, I don’t view any of her profiles back and I haven’t said anything to her because I don’t want to create drama or make assumptions if I’m wrong y’know?

But after almost a year of this, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable and honestly a little creeped out. Part of me thinks I’m overthinking it but another part of me feels like this isn’t normal.

How can I get her to stop doing all this, am I overreacting this entire thing, why won’t she follow me but view all my stories, is she worried I want my ex back? so many what ifs, please help me get to the bottom of this Redditers!

LONG POST
I’m obviously using a throw away account but I still don’t normally do this so I apologize in advance.
I will be using fake names.

I attend the same high school with two of my ex’s (new) girlfriend’s and I think they are obsessed with me,
I’m not saying this just to be the crazy ex girlfriend or anything but before I begin let me add some context.
I’m going to start with the guy I dated first.

So I (16. Female) dated a guy named Jake(16.Male) almost 3 years ago. I know I was younger than I am now, that’s why I think this whole thing is unnecessary.
We only dated for 6 months and It genuinely wasn’t a bad relationship, we had arguments of course, we did silly things every thirteen year old would, overall we didn’t have a toxic relationship but we did not end on the best terms, again we were thirteen and I thought my life was over.

I got over it like everyone does and I can truthfully say I am fully moved on, healed and do not miss the relationship, but I don’t regret giving love to someone who needed it at the time. We haven’t spoke since a few days after the breakup and we haven’t seen each other either, I like to think that’s a good thing, I never blocked him but I noticed I have been unblocked over time. He doesn’t stalk me and I don’t stalk him, I think we both moved on a long time ago.

So, Jake started dating Emma(17.Female) I’m actually not even sure when but they got together before me and Emma attended the same school.
Getting into the point, so I use TikTok like every teenager does, same as posting lip syncs here and there. I noticed Emma in one of my story views one day during the summer before school started, I had no idea who she was at the time, eventually I found out and basically just had an “ohhhh” moment, then moved on.

EVERY.SINGLE. story/tiktok I have posted since then she has been in the viewers list eventually, sometimes it takes a couple days but she always shows up, it’s like a little game to me at this point. She’s even viewed my page a couple times.

Once school had started I did see her around but me thinking “I don’t even know you” I wasn’t looking for her, I wasn’t worrying about her or any of that mumbo jumbo.

I’m going to say now that I’m not the type of person who cares enough about my ex bfs new gf, anyways. I keep to myself, but I can always tell when someone is looking at me, especially when they don’t hide it very well. I’d say every time I saw her she “couldn’t” keep her eyes off me, I don’t mean to sound cocky the way I worded that but I’m not sure how else I would!

Thats pretty much it. All Emma did was watch me our entire school year and she’s continuing the watching my socials into summer, I feel like I have a fan honestly, lol.

Moving on. So just as of last year I briefly dated a guy named Chad(17.Male) I only put up with him for a week until I ended the relationship, It was so hard, he would not let me but hey here I am.

Chad was lazy, he stunk, his room smelt disgusting, like ketchup. His hair was always greasy, he slurped his food, he had no manners, he was rude, controlling, insecure and just a huge MANCHILD.

The first time I went into his room was also the last time and I’m glad. So Chad always wanted me on the phone with him or to be with him and even if he didn’t smell like cheese, that’s just not what I want in a guy.
It was going to end either way, anyways as I said we only dated a week maybe two tops.

So Jake started dating Lucy(17?Female)probably just a couple weeks after I broke up with him.. I again have no idea, also again had no idea who this girl was and I had no issues with this girl. Within the first week of school Lucy was telling MY friend in the girls washroom that I didn’t like her… I’m sorry, I have no idea who you are. Thankfully my friend had said “Oh “my name” she doesn’t really care about anything” So that was shut down.

But Lucy didn’t want to give up, I obviously knew who both these girls were now because of them always being in my socials or actually around me.
Lucy had always tried to go out of her way to look like a “cool girl” whenever I was near, at least thats what it looked like. She’s added several of my TikTok’s to favourites or liked them by accident, I’m assuming. She’s liked my instagram posts also accidentally I’m assuming. If you didn’t already guess she was also a watcher.

To top this all off. Chad is in my profile views every couple weeks as well. Maybe thats the reason she does all this, no idea if she even knows he does that but Lucy, just find someone better.

Thanks for reading! anyways, that again is pretty much it! It’s summer break and they still show up in my socials.

I’m obviously using a throw away account but I still don’t normally do this so I apologize in advance.
I will be using fake names.

I attend the same high school with two of my ex’s (new) girlfriend’s and I think they are obsessed with me,
I’m not saying this just to be the crazy ex girlfriend or anything but before I begin let me add some context.
I’m going to start with the guy I dated first.

So I (16. Female) dated a guy named Jake(16.Male) almost 3 years ago. I know I was younger than I am now, that’s why I think this whole thing is unnecessary.
We only dated for 6 months and It genuinely wasn’t a bad relationship, we had arguments of course, we did silly things every thirteen year old would, overall we didn’t have a toxic relationship but we did not end on the best terms, again we were thirteen and I thought my life was over.

I got over it like everyone does and I can truthfully say I am fully moved on, healed and do not miss the relationship, but I don’t regret giving love to someone who needed it at the time. We haven’t spoke since a few days after the breakup and we haven’t seen each other either, I like to think that’s a good thing, I never blocked him but I noticed I have been unblocked over time. He doesn’t stalk me and I don’t stalk him, I think we both moved on a long time ago.

So, Jake started dating Emma(17.Female) I’m actually not even sure when but they got together before me and Emma attended the same school.
Getting into the point, so I use TikTok like every teenager does, same as posting lip syncs here and there. I noticed Emma in one of my story views one day during the summer before school started, I had no idea who she was at the time, eventually I found out and basically just had an “ohhhh” moment, then moved on.

EVERY.SINGLE. story/tiktok I have posted since then she has been in the viewers list eventually, sometimes it takes a couple days but she always shows up, it’s like a little game to me at this point. She’s even viewed my page a couple times.

Once school had started I did see her around but me thinking “I don’t even know you” I wasn’t looking for her, I wasn’t worrying about her or any of that mumbo jumbo.

I’m going to say now that I’m not the type of person who cares enough about my ex bfs new gf, anyways. I keep to myself, but I can always tell when someone is looking at me, especially when they don’t hide it very well. I’d say every time I saw her she “couldn’t” keep her eyes off me, I don’t mean to sound cocky the way I worded that but I’m not sure how else I would!

Thats pretty much it. All Emma did was watch me our entire school year and she’s continuing the watching my socials into summer, I feel like I have a fan honestly, lol.

Moving on. So just as of last year I briefly dated a guy named Chad(17.Male) I only put up with him for a week until I ended the relationship, It was so hard, he would not let me but hey here I am.

Chad was lazy, he stunk, his room smelt disgusting, like ketchup. His hair was always greasy, he slurped his food, he had no manners, he was rude, controlling, insecure and just a huge MANCHILD.

The first time I went into his room was also the last time and I’m glad. So Chad always wanted me on the phone with him or to be with him and even if he didn’t smell like cheese, that’s just not what I want in a guy.
It was going to end either way, anyways as I said we only dated a week maybe two tops.

So Jake started dating Lucy(17?Female)probably just a couple weeks after I broke up with him.. I again have no idea, also again had no idea who this girl was and I had no issues with this girl. Within the first week of school Lucy was telling MY friend in the girls washroom that I didn’t like her… I’m sorry, I have no idea who you are. Thankfully my friend had said “Oh “my name” she doesn’t really care about anything” So that was shut down.

But Lucy didn’t want to give up, I obviously knew who both these girls were now because of them always being in my socials or actually around me.
Lucy had always tried to go out of her way to look like a “cool girl” whenever I was near, at least thats what it looked like. She’s added several of my TikTok’s to favourites or liked them by accident, I’m assuming. She’s liked my instagram posts also accidentally I’m assuming. If you didn’t already guess she was also a watcher.

To top this all off. Chad is in my profile views every couple weeks as well. Maybe thats the reason she does all this, no idea if she even knows he does that but Lucy, just find someone better.

Thanks for reading! anyways, that again is pretty much it! It’s summer break and they still show up in my socials.

TW: Drugs/alcohol, (briefly, short SA talk)
I know they are others out there who have it so much worse so I really hope my words do not come upon anyone the wrong way.

Hello, I don’t really have just simply one topic so if this whole post seems messy I apologize in advance. Please don’t feel forced to read this or help me, it’s a superrrrrrrrr long post. I don’t know who to
talk to, therapy isn’t doing it for me. I will read any comments, take any advice or any suggestions from you wonderful people. Thank you in advance.

I am a 16 year old female and I want to change the way I see life, the way I think, my mindset. I don’t exactly even know. I really hope I don’t sound like I’m just complaining throughout this post but I’m going to begin with a backstory because maybe that is why I am this way. I’m just going to pour my heart out and rant. Before I begin, my only real diagnosis is social anxiety. I don’t know if I have anything else.

(I am in no way trying to bash anyone or either of my parents)

For starters. I was brought up in a not so great environment. My mother (43,F) is a drug addict, she has been since before me and my brother (24,M) were brought into this world. I can truthfully say she didn’t use while pregnant with either of us, or at least if she did it was only a few times. As of this time and day we are on good terms, argue like every mother and daughter, live in the same house and she claims she is sober off everything but my trust has been absolutely shattered and I have no idea what to believe so I just try to make the best of it.

I’ve been told she was addicted to cocaine since she was 16 and the addiction just grew with her and she expanded her usage more everyday trying new things, letting herself go completely. She gets mean when she’s coming down from her highs, she’s mean during her highs.

I don’t understand my mother and I don’t think I ever will (sober or not) she acts the same, just a little less crazy when she isn’t using, I think thats why I have such a hard time believing her. My mother says things like “I’m sorry you hate me” “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible mother” “I’m sorry you wish I was never your mom you can piss on my grave” When I express the way she’d made me feel at times, so I never want to again. She tells me how I feel or what I’m thinking/trying to do all the time, she thinks everything between us is a competition so we rarely get through a day without a small argument or disagreement.

She met my father(46,M) in highschool and I think that’s where her she hit her first of many, many “rock-bottom” of her addiction.

My father isn’t a great man either and It embarrasses me. He was an alcoholic in his earlier years. My mother and a few ex girlfriends have claimed he has 🍇ed them, I don’t want to believe it and I didn’t see it happen, but I also don’t want to not believe it just because he’s my dad.

He was always getting into trouble with the cops, also since before I was born. He was sent to jail for break and enters, public intoxication, battery assault to a police officer, you know that kind of stuff. It was only always 2-3 years until he had got a 5 year sentence that changed quite a few things.

No matter what he’s my dad and I love him. But he was never there, he was never around, I never got advice from him, he often tried to buy my brother and I’s love with gifts and money every time he got out, he is also very controlling. I almost don’t want to love him, I almost don’t want to love either of my parents, but I do.

My dad use to call from jail telling me what I was wearing and where I was, he needs my location at all times now, he doesn’t want me to have certain piercings or wear certain clothes. (I don’t dress a way that would make him say these things or have crazy face piercings btw, 3 in my face all in common spots)

Anyways as I said he’s finally out of jail and claims he wants to settle down and have a good life, he wants me to live with him. I have never lived with my father full time and he has never had full custody of me, regardless of how poorly my mother treated me she had full custody and I lived (full time) wherever she did my entire 16 years of life.

I don’t want that, I don’t want any of that. My goal is to graduate my high school, save up for my own place,
get a steady(er) job and live on my own. I want to do it on my own.
That goes for both of my parents, my mother didn’t teach me how to cook or clean, how to fold my clothes and do my laundry, I did. My father didn’t teach anything really. My point is I learned on my own, I took care of myself because I had too, It’s been so long that getting the love from my parents now feels so awkward.

Why did they both wait until I was 16 to “get better”? Of course, you can’t choose your parents and you can’t change them, but I tried my best to hardest to help and they didn’t want it? It’s messing with my brain so much that they want to be there for me now, I only have a 4 years left until I’m an adult.
4 years doesn’t make up for all this missed time, neglect, broken promises and missed opportunities, events and everything big important moment of my life. In-fact my mother celebrated herself to some cocaine on my 11th birthday, at my party. I rarely saw them in crowds at school events, or both of them in the same room. It hurt me for so long until it didn’t. I don’t care about many things in this world, I could probably count on both my hands the number of things that actually matter to me and that would be it. But here is where I want help.

I overthink everything, I worry and worry until I
fall asleep, there is always a thought in my head.

Now I know I said I don’t care about much, but the people and animals I love & care for, the hobbies and interests I have is what causes me all this worrying, like if I’m left on read or someone responds in a unusual tone. I hate that about myself.

I find myself googling something at least 10-25 times a day, not something someone would actually want to know, silly things, things like. “Does my cat miss me when I’m gone” “Do cats get upset when they see me petting another cat” “My drug addict mom was sleeping a little longer than usual did she relapse?” I look up every pill I find. My mom has medication legally prescribed to her and I still google the same pill asking what is it and what it can do, why it’s taken. I lay awake at night wondering if my father is out drinking or if my cat’s outside in the cold upset and alone, or worse.

If my friends are hanging out without me I automatically think they left me out and I’ve done something wrong. I even worry about fictional characters from shows I like, almost believing they are real and have feelings. I have to tell myself it’s a tv show/movie.

I guess my whole point after all I do not want to spend the rest of my life being this version of myself. I know this world has good, I know it can. I don’t have to be filled with worry, stress and angry all the time. I don’t want to be, I just don’t know how.

If someone does read this, all I have to say is thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read about my struggles, I hope your life is filled with blessings and joy. From one stranger to another, you matter.

Feel free to share, relate, or just be in the moment. Again I hope this doesn’t come across ANYONE in the wrong way.

I’m a teenager who wishes she was apart of another era, I would love if anyone could help list websites or shopping apps that I can purchase in the app store or find the websites on google etc!

I’m looking for anything from low rise jeans, band tees, baby tees to graphic hoodies and teeshirts, sweatpants, accessories or purses, halter tops, knitted sweaters, flared sweatpants, zip up sweaters, off the shoulder tops etc.

I love the styles, cars, shows, movies, shoes, songs, music, bands and so much more from honestly anywhere from the 1980s to the 2000s. I just love that era, and I want to find as many things as possible to make me feel a part of it.

I’m a teenager who wishes she was apart of another era, I would love if anyone could help list websites or shopping apps that I can purchase in the app store or find the websites on google etc!

I’m looking for anything from low rise jeans, band tees, baby tees to graphic hoodies and teeshirts, sweatpants, accessories or purses, halter tops, knitted sweaters, flared sweatpants, zip up sweaters, off the shoulder tops etc.

I love the styles, cars, shows, movies, shoes, songs, music, bands and so much more from honestly anywhere from the 1980s to the 2000s. I just love that era, and I want to find as many things as possible to make me feel a part of it.