u/Odd-Chest-3578

The Good Witch - "My fairy godmother is secretly the benevolent witch who goes around wearing skimpy outfits, even in the fields of war? What kind of horrible joke is that!?"

The Knight Dragon of Cornucopia - "I cannot imagine the cyborg-mutant defector from the ancient evil empire to be needing diaper changes every morning."

The Light Lord Ursan - "The word 'ursa' means bear. Hmm... Though he redeemed himself and now goes around helping people, he still has that Dark Lord arrogance around him. Hiding in plain sight is too much for Sir Ursan."

"To make thing even funnier, what are the chances that I accidentally adopted the whole tragic family and none of them knows each other's secret identities? Oh how silly and paranoid of me!"

THE AVERAGE HEROES-FOR-HIRE EXPERIENCE:

1. "There is no such thing as good and evil! There is only power, and those too weak to wield it!" proudly said by a villain while holding a Cornucopian artifact literally called something like "Epstein's Evil Amulet of Pedo".
2. "You burned a child many years ago because you suspected that she was a witch. And now her trauma manifested as a curse upon this town, and said curse is beginning to spread to the rest of the world. Instead of taking responsibility for your own actions, you take this as a confirmation that she was a witch? HEAVENS FORBID YOUR ACTIONS CANNOT HAVE CONSEQUENCES!"
3. The country is suffering from underpopulation and economic stagnation because of... Let's see... LACK OF WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND KILLING FEMALE BABIES! WHAT!? YOU WANT TO KEEP THIS HORRIBLE TRADITION AND CULTURE!?

One was a beast from civilization who sought freedom.

One was a man from the wilds who sought peace.

Through a wish in a sacred well, they switched foot and paw.

By fate, their friendship was born.

Brothers each other from another family.

In the morning, they are venerated as guardian spirits of children.

A wholesome tale of great strangeness.

Love your neighbor.

Cherish your hairy and scaly companions.

In the moonless night,

for the remorseless and unrepentant,

in the corner and back of your eyes,

they are always watching.