u/Ok-Atmosphere-6272

32M, We rent in syosset and work in the city (hybrid). We did the math, we are paying 8 grand between both of us, just to work in the city 3 days a week. This has me livid I think I need to either move or find a job on the island. This is insane. Disgrace.

32M, We rent in syosset and work in the city (hybrid). We did the math, we are paying 8 grand between both of us, just to work in the city 3 days a week. This has me livid I think I need to either move or find a job on the island. This is insane. Disgrace.

I am moving to Syosset next week. I plan on taking the 7:48 am train to Penn station for work Tuesday through Thursday. I will be getting a parking pass through town of oyster bay. What’re my odds of getting a parking spot at the station? And if I cant find a spot what are quick alternatives to make sure I catch the train.

My wife and I went no-contact with her parents after all the toxic behavior they displayed at and before our wedding — the one day that was supposed to be the happiest of our lives. Basically screamed and cursed us out 5 days before our wedding. Won’t go into details. FIL made a bizarre wedding speech where he mentioned 3 times how they paid for the wedding and in a bizarre comment let everyone know there’s issues between us. They offered to pay for everything, refused to let us contribute any money even though we offered, and then turned around and used it against us.

Fast forward: we set a strict no-contact boundary. Her brother then panic-called me six times saying their mom was in the hospital “because of us.” He proceeded to criticize my personal finances harshly — bringing up my purchase of a new Tesla while mentioning my student debt, pointing out that my parents didn’t pay for anything at the wedding, and basically calling me ungrateful. Basically humiliated me, who does this to their sister? Also made weird comments like we are “one” now that we’re married. I could hear what sounded like his parents in the background coaching him. This is the second time they’ve tried to drag my family into it.

I stayed quiet and just hung up because I didn’t want to give them the reaction they wanted. Now I regret not explaining exactly why we’re done, but I know it probably wouldn’t have helped. They’re playing the victim like they did nothing wrong, when their actions have been hurtful the entire time.
We’re both so angry and sad. They didn’t just ruin the wedding day — they’re trying to poison the memory of it by making us feel guilty for a “gift” they insisted on giving. Who does this to their own daughter and son-in-law? It feels deeply manipulative.

My therapist advised us not to block them yet, but I’ve put all their numbers on Do Not Disturb for now. Part of me just wants to block everyone and protect our peace. Has anyone else dealt with in-laws who turn their wedding contribution into emotional blackmail? How do you protect your marriage and mental health when they keep sending flying monkeys and creating fake emergencies?
Any advice or similar stories would be appreciated. This has been exhausting.

My wife and I went no-contact with her parents after all the toxic behavior they displayed at and before our wedding — the one day that was supposed to be the happiest of our lives. Basically screamed and cursed us out 5 days before our wedding. Won’t go into details. FIL made a bizarre wedding speech where he mentioned 3 times how they paid for the wedding and in a bizarre comment let everyone know there’s issues between us. They offered to pay for everything, refused to let us contribute any money even though we offered, and then turned around and used it against us.

Fast forward: we set a strict no-contact boundary. Her brother then panic-called me six times saying their mom was in the hospital “because of us.” He proceeded to criticize my personal finances harshly — bringing up my purchase of a new Tesla while mentioning my student debt, pointing out that my parents didn’t pay for anything at the wedding, and basically calling me ungrateful. I could hear what sounded like his parents in the background coaching him. This is the second time they’ve tried to drag my family into it.

I stayed quiet and just hung up because I didn’t want to give them the reaction they wanted. Now I regret not explaining exactly why we’re done, but I know it probably wouldn’t have helped. They’re playing the victim like they did nothing wrong, when their actions have been hurtful the entire time.
We’re both so angry and sad. They didn’t just ruin the wedding day — they’re trying to poison the memory of it by making us feel guilty for a “gift” they insisted on giving. Who does this to their own daughter and son-in-law? It feels deeply manipulative.

My therapist advised us not to block them yet, but I’ve put all their numbers on Do Not Disturb for now. Part of me just wants to block everyone and protect our peace. Has anyone else dealt with in-laws who turn their wedding contribution into emotional blackmail? How do you protect your marriage and mental health when they keep sending flying monkeys and creating fake emergencies?
Any advice or similar stories would be appreciated. This has been exhausting.

After a year of nonstop emotional abuse from my wife’s controlling mom and enabled dad (essay texts, nitpicking, nothing ever enough), we got married. Days before the wedding they screamed/cursed at us, said they’d “never forgive us,” listed 50 things dad hated about me.

We set a hard 6-month low/no-contact boundary. Now they’re flooding my wife with paragraph texts, emails, and voicemails, claiming she’s in the hospital and it’s our fault. She gets sick every time her phone goes off. They’re also saying they’re selling the house so she has to come get her stuff immediately. We don’t feel safe at home.

Now they’re coming after me to test limits and divide us. My wife’s brother called me last night and shit on my family, shit on me buying a new car since I have a small amount of student debt, then called my brother acting all nice like “we’re one family” to make me look bad. This is the second time. We’re almost positive they listened in on our call—someone coaching him in the background. Dad followed up texting my wife about a “group therapist.” They kept asking weird shit like “are you one with your family?” and “why aren’t you one with my parents?” It feels like calculated psychological warfare.

Our therapist told us not to block them, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I am living in a nightmare.

My wife and I got married after a year of nonstop emotional abuse from her parents surrounding the wedding (especially her controlling “my way or the highway” mom and enabled dad). They’d bombard us with essay texts accusing us of not caring, nitpick everything, and nothing was ever enough.

Right before the wedding they screamed and cursed at us in a “clear the air” meeting—mom said they’d “never forgive us,” dad listed 50 things he hated about me. They even secretly hired a videographer after we said no. We’re still traumatized.

We set a hard 6-month no-contact boundary. Now, almost two months later, they’re harassing my wife with flooding paragraph texts/emails/voicemails demanding to know “what’s wrong.” She’s sick to her stomach every time her phone goes off.
It’s escalated even more—they claim they’re selling the house so she has to come get her stuff immediately. It’s getting worse daily and I don’t even feel safe in my own home. This is destroying our new marriage.

We’re just over it. These people are exhausting. They clearly want to force a meeting so they can unload on my wife about everything she ‘does wrong,’ pretend they don’t know why we’re upset, then talk in circles justifying themselves for hours. We’re so fucking over it—it’s too much for our new marriage.

We’re exhausted and desperate for peace.
Has anyone dealt with this level of harassment/escalation from toxic in-laws after boundaries? How do you enforce it without slipping back into FOG? Scripts for the stuff/harassment, therapist recs, or practical steps (safety, legal) that worked? Help protecting our marriage please.

My wife and I just got married after a full year of nonstop emotional abuse from her parents (especially her “my way or the highway” mom and her completely enabled dad). Every weekend they’d blow up our phones with essay texts accusing us of not caring enough, nitpicking every decision, then complaining we should’ve handled everything ourselves. No matter what we did, it was never enough.

Days before the wedding they demanded a “clear the air” meeting that turned into them screaming and cursing at us. Mom yelled “we will never forgive you,” dad listed 50 things he hated about me (including that I was “in my room too much” on vacation). They also secretly hired a videographer after we explicitly said no — a final “fuck you” on our actual wedding day.We’re both still traumatized.

We agreed we needed space and set a hard 6-month boundary. Wife has not called them, only sent a couple short texts. It’s now almost two months post-honeymoon and they’ve escalated into straight harassment: flooding her phone with paragraph texts demanding to know “what’s wrong,” nonstop calls, voicemails, and now emails.She’s sick to her stomach every time her phone goes off. This is no way to start a marriage. We’re exhausted, depressed, and just want peace.

Has anyone dealt with this level of escalation after going low-contact with toxic in-laws? How did you enforce the boundary without your spouse slipping back into the FOG? Any scripts, therapist recs, or practical steps that actually worked? We’re desperate for advice on protecting our marriage right now.Thanks in advance.

I’m worried the car looks too stripped down and cheap. When buying it I honestly didn’t know the front and back design was different. But for $580 a month (AWD) 0% Apr with FSD it was the best bang for my buck on the market. There is no other car that drives itself for a low monthly payment. Did I make a mistake? Am I overpaying for the standard and will be driving around a laughable car?

My wife and I are exhausted and depressed after a full year of nonstop emotional abuse from her family surrounding our wedding. Her mother is “my way or the highway” and is constantly unhappy, always causing problems. Her husband is completely groomed to do whatever she says and happily jumps into the drama. Every other week it was something new—they’d accuse us of not caring enough or not doing enough. I can’t tell you how many weekends they’ve ruined. Usually starts Friday evenings after we’re exhausted from work, we get a lengthy essay text from her mother about how horrible we are or what we need to do. They insisted on being involved in every single step, but no matter what we decided, they fought us on it. Then they’d turn around and complain that we should have just handled everything on our own. There was no winning: when I was easy-going they said I had no opinion or didn’t make an effort; when I was decisive about things like the food they got mad at me anyway. I tried so hard and made every effort—but it was never enough. They constantly nitpicked and called out things I didn’t even do wrong.

My wife has dealt with this toxic behavior her entire life. Just days before our wedding (biggest day of my life), they wanted to meet up to “clear the air.” It started when her mom said “we don’t feel appreciated at all.” I calmly told them how I felt, but the moment I spoke, they started screaming and cursing at us. Her mom yelled “we will never forgive you” while her dad listed 50 things he didn’t like about me—including that I was “in my room too much” during our recent vacation like I didn’t want to be bothered. We are still traumatized, I have never been spoken to like that by anyone. And now they’re acting like the victims, it’s really just disgusting behavior. They also lied about hiring a videographer—we explicitly said no, but they secretly did it anyway and then at the wedding I was surprised to see a videographer. It felt like the final “fuck you” that my opinion never mattered.

After 5 years of kissing their ass and going to everything it wasn’t enough to please them so I’m done.

With Mother's Day coming up I think its best if I don't go but I don't want to be controlling of my wife, should I let her go alone if she wants to? Or should we be a united front this soon after the incident? I just need advice on what to do. Do I not see them for a year? Or do I go to things and grey rock them?