u/PinkVoodooDoll4

I knew I didn't want biological children before the endo and adenomyosis I always knew I wanted to adopt even as a child I told my parents I wanted to help the kids who were already here. The Endometriosis just cemented that, holy shit. So many women even in western countries are homeless, in abusive relationships, have to choose between food and medication. I've met countless older women who none of the current medication worked for. Many of them are abusing drugs or alcohol simply to be in less pain.I cannot do this to another woman. I hope my non existing daughters are enjoying themselves 🍃

I struggle to make friends with healthy women because they just cannot simply comprehend that 1-10 women live with debilitating pain every day. When I tried explaaining to a fellow alternative woman that I get my period 3 weeks straight she started going on about how her period is 5 days and she hates getting one. I've had women say to me "you've failed in life if you can't be an independent woman" yes I hate depending on family, I hate that I had to use my entire university funds on my health. I hate that I'm reaching 30 with nothing and still needing financial help. It always hurts me more when women especially POC women don't understand because I was healthy my entire childhood, you can become disabled at any moment.

For almost a decade I've dealt with chronic pain it started in my late teens. I use thc to help with the pain (its illegal here) and my parent is losing his mind. I explained how my psychiatrist advised it when I told her about my pain, terrible sleep and inability to keep food down. I explained that I am not using it for recreational use but so I can feel like a normal person for a few hours. He looked me in the face and told me doesn't believe any of this and that he has never believed my pain. I know he has never believed me and that's why our relationship deteriorated years ago. I told him that I never wanted kids but that he's one of the reasons why. No matter how long and how I explain it my own father wiill never believe me. He goes on about my childhood friends and how they all have successful lives. I didn't choose not to go to university, I didn't choose to use my body for money for medical bills. None of this is fun for me.