u/PlaywrightOfGefilte

I made a loaded post on a subreddit. It was worded poorly and I didn't say anything bigoted but was venting. I am formerly a BT Into The Hasidic Jewish community (meaning I willfully became a Hasidic Jew). I am mortified at how they thought I was a bigot pretending to be Jewish, but am concerned that these subreddit authorities (moderators) could contact Reddit admin and have me removed off of the platform. I am also incredibly worried that they can see my location. I am extremely against bigotry and would not intentionally be bigoted, but clearly they made a severe misconception. I don't know what to do and am quite concerned. What should I do?

r/MatzoBreiEmpire this is a space for Jews and non Jews alike to post memes and stuff. It's gonna be very Jewish themed with an emphasis on questions and mame loshn yiddish. Anyone want to be mod?

This sounds insane, but when I was a child, I remember being deathly afraid of a certain kind of plane, very against modern technology, always interested in black suits and hats, and more. I also called my father the Satmar word for father and my mom the Satmar Hasidic word for mother when I was younger. My mom was raised Jewish adopted by Reform Jews. I remember being 2 and watching a cartoon and it referenced Hanukkah and I instantly felt warm and special memories. I have always loved Eastern European music and scales (My household was culturally Jewish later on, but pretty Christian when I was tiny, growing up and never had it). I always hated songs sung by women (Hasidim Can't Listen To Women Singing), and I always hated certain foods and even began refusing ham or anything pork (eventually excluding bacon when I was young as it was given to me early). I have always had aversions to certain foods like shellfish and lobster even before learning they were treif, and have had odd fears of certain symbols, and even thought s*x was a sin. I used to also say unusual stuff, and was always feeling as if I were set apart from the rest of people. I had a very strong pull to the 80s and 90s, and when I was 11 and homeschooled, obsessed with New York City, and in horror and sadness about September Eleventh. I also used to say phrases only Hasidic Jews know.

I always wanted a black hat when we played dress up excluding pirates, and a black suit (I even liked James Bond when rebellious). I naturally detested images of promiscuous women and had an oddly and intrinsically separatist view for a lot of things and didn't like any shows with violence. Not because they scared me, but I felt they were immodest. My first word may have been yiddish, and I always defaulted to that accent.

When I was in high school, there was a Kiruv group there that basically would make you more Jewish, in a public high school, I was so happy and instantly got into it and got involved again with Hasidic Jews for the first time in this life (if the past life theory is true), and they instantly loved me. Even before then, I was always trying to wear undergarments with Strongs on the side like tzitzit, I always was very careful when I said "Jew," I felt very connected to movies with Jews, and only had crushes on mainly jewish or Asheknazic looking women. Or New Yorkers.

Kyrias Joel, I immediately remembered something about it. Something about the schools and the education material looked like something I was using for an SAT and for elementary work once and it was marvelous. I also always used to make chazzan like sounds before. I picked up Yiddish and Hebrew easily, able to write the letters almost a couple days after starting to look at them. I additionally always felt uncomfortable with my dad's pentecostal Christianity and evangelicalism (though it seems that I love Catholicism). I also used to say stuff that only Satmars believe and had a weird avoidance to Israel yet support (almost like Satmar) when very little. My accent still defaults to Hasidic even before I was irl ex Hasidic.

I sound insane I know.

The one and only Mordecai Ben David! One of my favorite singers, I'm just wondering, despite it not being a show tune, what kind of technique he did and what kind of stage discipling he is using on this show to get so exciting. His voice is incredible

Hello everyone. I am basically completely a mess, and I have a good exfrum therapist who is helping me deconstruct. I was Kiruv'd early after a clear attachment and fascination with Judaism in an interfaith family. My mom had no idea the extent of how frum I would get though, and how much I'd keep going back. She thought frukmeit and me reading about Judaism online, whether it be Chassidus YouTube videos, to r/Judaism and more, were just me enjoying the reform culture she was a part of when younger, not the hardline, strong, and powerful culture that I'd be part of. Now, to me, Reform, Reconstructionist, and even Conservative, all places I could go, seem to be fake in the eyes of "HaShem" to me. I deconstructed at some point, and thought to myself that there is no way a deity exists, the issue was after that, I put on tzitzit, kippah, and a black hat, and davened. I was raised in an interfaith family where both parents are now Christian, and I am here being frum, and now I'm questioning everything and still fearing the hell of Christianity.

Now don't judge me, but I attended a couple Catholic masses and shiurim (their shiur is in their mass) and it felt beautiful, Catholicism and Orthodox Christianity are Beautiful in many ways. Now, I was taught, and do still believe that if I were to convert to either of these religions, I would disgrace my entire ancestry. I would be a mumar, a transgressor, and someone who is bad. I have OCD, am also ADHD, and believe I probably have Autism as well based on a ton of legitimate research I did (not the crappy tiktok self diagnosis rubbish). I don't know if this is just my neurodivergence at work, but Jewish culture somehow is my everything. I remember, before being frum, just being a less religious kid, before worrying about chukim, broken mitzvos, avoideh zarah, and fearing treif food and kol isha, literally living for the idea of eating bagels and kugel and meeting a pretty, beautiful, nice Jewish girl.

Kiruv got the best of me, now I'm stuck, at my Kiruv orgs, I have the best friends, I have such great experiences, but if I tell them how I've been feeling, I'm gone, if I tell them some of my struggles, I am now completely meshuggah to them and have become mamash nothing. Yet, the Kiruv rabbis also helped me in a time where my mother was hurt, unstable, and broken... I am Black as well as Jewish, and I realized yesterday while watching the film Lean On Me, that other than liking a couple foods from Africa, I have no legitimately no shaychus to that side of the culture. When I look in the mirror, I only see my Jewish side, the side that my mother is accidentally obliterating by thinking (you can be half and half).

I truly now am at a loss for words and actions. I can't just take back being Jewish. At the end of the day, my mother wants these Kiruv Rabbis to write reccomendations for me from college, and even after me saying, "Why do you want this when you raise me Christian every chance you get," she gives me an insane spiel about being "mixed." I cannot take back being frum, speaking Yiddish, and seeing everything in a Jewish way. I don't know what to ask my therapist the next time I see him, but I just wonder what I could.

Thanks for listening to me.

I am a Jew. I was previously involved in Ultra-Orthodox Judaism though school clubs and eventually into everyday living after Kiruv basically made me frum. Now my Jewish mother converted to Christianity, so when I was very religious, I was running into her who was totally not religious and now a Christian (non-denominational). Now, I found a video about Orthodox Christianity (Christianity is basically being forced in my house as the primary religion and it is impossible to leave it behind or get away from it.). It took me down a rabbit hole for 2 months, and then I got back interested in Judaism. Now, the constant theological debates between me and my mother became exhausting, I began to deconstruct, Christianity didn't make since, and neither did Judaism. Now I genuinely am getting totally fatigued. The world is filled with antisemitism, my mother is leading me to the religion that the Jewish people have been persecuted by and she is Jewish herself, I am starting to believe in it on my own, but that would mean leaving and divorcing the Jewish community and having to basically learn life and create my own identity all over again. I feel like a traitor every day we are at the kitchen table and she prays in Jesus' name. This has changed our Sholem Bayis, and even though we love each other so much, I have come to view her as a "traitor to her people," and now I'm interested in Christianity (Ortho), not because of the OrthoBro thing, or anything political, I am interested because I think that it would provide spiritual ascension, beauty, happiness, and joy. I have heard bad Stories though about Ultra-Orthodox Christians and abuse, so I want you to tell me the good, bad and ugly of Orthodoxy.

Shlomo Tietelman is named Shlomo and when I heard Shlomo in the show I was so happy, most shows don't have Shlomos so I was just genuinely pleased by this.

The giant Cossack romanced my Antonio Banderas themed floaty air fryer and I am so mad about the hot Croatian guy in my kitchen who is currently cooking a great food before he flies a plane and the giant sexy bird that stole my money and called the Japanese rabbit island on my toaster which led my hot Croatian boyfriend to leave space and come have a ciggy with Heather Thomas and then fight against a giant who decided to ingest a sink.

My grandparents are Jewish, but my mother is adopted, and she had a successful Reform Conversion, but it isn't even recognized as reform as I wasn't raised Jewish until I became a Ba'al Teshuva! I am absolutely amazed and also upset? My entire existence was basically Jewish for the last couple years, and I was into all of the kiruv and stuff and now it turns out I'm not even Jewish. I don't know whether to feel terrible or happy. My reform Rabbi I talked to said I could convert reform (my parents are now both Christian, though mom was Jewish), maybe when I go to college.

I am just so utterly shocked I don't even know.

Learning that the internet is getting close to becoming restricted and basically controlled in the United States. I want to get all my 80s movies like Breakfast Club, Star Wars Trilogy, and other VHS movies. I also want music like Mordechai Ben David, Biggie Smalls, Guy, and Michael Jackson all on cassette. How can I do this and make sure they don't get ruined over time

Any songs that sound like a wild drunk party. Preferably not EDM/BPM Or that modern, just ones that sound like a drunk party in Russia or Germany where everyone is smacking the table and dancing like crazy

I am Jewish and living with overtly Christian parents, my mom prays with my dad before every meal, if anything good happens, my dad says it is Jesus, my mom wears Christian shirts now, we even do prayers every night to Jesus using Christian books using her old Jewish bible. My mother has undergone lots of traumatic health events in the last 8 years. She claims Jesus helped her and saved her from cancer death and restored her ability to walk (nothing wrong with such claims, I love my mother and want the best for her)

So I am getting very inclined to Orthodoxy. Living as a Hasidic Jew (I reverted to Judaism, was born Jewish) was something but I never got real freedom that way.

How can I get freedom from my own need for religion?

A freudian slip that came to me is "the religion is fear"

I am Jewish and living with overtly Christian parents, my mom prays with my dad before every meal, if anything good happens, my dad says it is Jesus, my mom wears Christian shirts now, we even do prayers every night to Jesus using Christian books using her old Jewish bible. My mother has undergone lots of traumatic health events in the last 8 years. She claims Jesus helped her and saved her from cancer death and restored her ability to walk (nothing wrong with such claims, I love my mother and want the best for her)

Now I know for a fact that non-denominational Christianity, Pentecostalism, and other similar movements are complete nonsense and have more in common with New Age tomfoolery than they do with the religion of the Early Church Fathers. So I am getting very inclined to Orthodoxy. Living as a Hasidic Jew (I reverted to Judaism, was born Jewish) was something but I never got real freedom that way.

How can I get freedom from this?

A freudian slip that came to me is "the religion is fear"

My mother left the Jewish religion to become Christian with my father. I was raised around christs it’s and Judaism and then begun trying to revert to Hasidic/Orthodox Jewish practice. Now I’m leaving that as it is WAY too strict and I don’t like the treatment of women. Catholicism (though it has flaws) seems like the best for me, but I am Jewish ethnically and culturally and speak Yiddish. I want to be a part of the Jewish future but know the animosity especially with the absolute madness that is messianic Judaism and a lot of problems I could get mistaken for, but what contributions can I still safely and logically make for Jewish culture?

I literally came back from an orthodox Jewish event and within 8 hours my mother is saying Christian prayers with me and having me read a tanakh (Jewish bible) and then do a blessing in the name of Jesus. She was reform Jewish, dad was Christian, dad has cheated many times and dad is now reverting to his Christianity. If I was Christian, I’d be Catholic or Orthodox Christian. I decided to be a Hasidic Jew, dad always says it is exploring religion even though I am seriously and was seriously a Hasidic Jew

Orthodox Judaism wasn’t really for me, so I considered leaving. Through the entire religion though I was basically nonstop exposed to Christianity despite constantly explaining that Christianity is fundamentally incompatible with Judaism.

My mother whom I love dearly just as much as my father who I also love very much, basically claims that Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God… my mom also claims that she completed her Jewish faith and is still a Jew despite doing the one thing that can make you not Jewish.

Now in between the utter nonsense she also believes in faith healings, miracles, and more. Now I’m very confused, as if I become a legit Christian (Orthodox or Catholic) they’re look at me like I’m following “manmade religion” (more bull as all religion is manmade. If I stay a Jew they’ll be mad at me for rejecting Christ, and if I become an atheist it’s basically endgame

Christianity….

What do I do?

If I become a Christian I will lose all my right to be part of Jewish culture, and potentially be mistaken for a messianic (ew). But it’s getting more convincing

Just wondering

I’m not kidding. This is a legitimate thing and someone actually made up this utter buzzword filled garbage. As someone with a Pentecostal dad who then became Orthodox Jewish and now wants almost no religion (or maybe light Eastern Orthodox Christianity) I am amazed by this absurdity

After this Shabbos, the last one I keep,

I am going to take all my Orthodox Judaica and put it in a box that says Frum and then place it under my bed. The entire Baal Teshuva thing has caused me to separate from my mother's favor completely. She is not very animosity related towards me now. I am putting my yarmulkes in a bag and putting it away after this Shabbos, I am probably going to leave NCSY, my black hat and shtriemel (got it for fun, too young to marry) are going away and more. Seferios, Torah books, all going away.

The fact that she won't even now let me leave to another religion (Catholicism, Orthodox Christianity, Lutheranism) and wants me only in generic NonDenominational Christianity shows that religion messed everything up. She literally went from Jew to Christian and doesn’t want me in the church

Anything Jewish becomes theological. She thinks I'm confused with everything as she was reform and I was like Modern Orthodox Hasidic. I need to deprogram and de-frum-ify myself. I literally debated religion with her for a whole year, explaining why Judaism and Christianity were incompatible, thinking I was a Tzadik. Talking about Tzinus, and why Chayus was necessary and more wild religious narishkeit!

I am done with the derech. I am not going to study Torah. I AM DONE WITH ORTHODOX JUDAISM. I am an apostate, fine. I thank you for helping me become less frum. I am done with Hasidic stuff completely. The Bekishes and Black hats will go to my friend at the Lubavitcher house immediately. I want absolutely no shaychus with this anymore. Has permanently altered and ruined my mother's view of me and our relationship

I don't want to sound antisemitic as I love the Jewish culture and the Jewish people. I kind of wish I was born frum but I am so done

I wasted a good chunk of my teens being frum! AHHHHH

Does anyone know of any really good Eastern Orthodox material for me to read in Yiddish? It’s my comfort language for religious texts and material especially learning