u/Santana_delRey

As simple as that

Well of course it wouldn’t be THE SAME - I mean it wasn’t as fun as the first one.
And I just wander if it’s the destination I picked or if I was in a different state of mind than I was last time.

So my first time solo traveling was almost a year ago, in September 2025 - I stayed two nights in Budapest in a hostel, then took a bus to Bratislava Slovakia, stayed one night there and returned to Budapest for a 2ish night (as the flight was at 5 am).

This time I went to Bulgaria and did a slightly similar thing. 2 nights in a hotel in Sofia, 2 nights in Plovdiv and then 1ish night in Sofia as again, the flight back was at 5 am.

I still had a great time, but I couldn’t not notice that it was way less great than the first solo travel. Now I’m thinking it could be due to certain things. Perhaps, the fact that in Budapest I stayed in a hostel which is a very pro-friendly act kept me less lonely. Even tho I didn’t really make any friends at that hostel or hung with any, it still had a very “not alone” vibe to it (as I literally was not alone). This time in Bulgaria I felt like I’m too exaughsted to deal with a hostel and opted for a hotel. Well, my quality of sleep was significantly better and I had better chilling-alone times. But I was very much alone.
\- another possibility that comes to mind is the destinations. As sad and uncultured as it is, I find that I’m not much of a museum girl. And while I can’t tell you what there is in Budapest - I’m certain there were more things there, than in Sofia. Perhaps the way the city is built - the fact that there are two distinct parts, possibly the fact that the streets seem slightly interesting (or perhaps I’m making this up). I don’t want to be one of those people who say Bulgaria is boring - but perhaps it is?
It’s just, in Bulgaria I felt like having friends with me could make it way more fun. In Budapest I did not feel that as often - which is the thing I mostly find weird.
Note: when I go on vacation family I feel like I just NEED that walk alone, I’m basically starving for some alone time, and I also feel like I get way less familiar with the destination. So I really wonder what it is.

With return no less than a week after
For a trip
If you want reasons on why yes and why nah I’m happy to supply in the comments.
Not sharing the country to be safe on the internet, but, clues: - it is in Europe
- it has more than 2 cities
- it has a flag

Edit: Okay adding reasons why and why not.

Why yes: I have the financial backing for it, it’s a trip!!!, it’s travel!!!, I love trips and travel, I enjoyed my last solo trip, it’s a place I haven’t been to yet, pure dopamine, fun and experience, it’s the only time in the few next months when I’m able to do so, I’ve a bunch of free time and need a break of routine and habits

Why no: it’s so spontaneous idk if I’m built for it, I might not enjoy my second solo trip, solo tripping as a female has its dangers, I’m tired, I don’t have much energy, I’m not the most mentally stable person (but also never been), finding hotels and stuff feels like a drag right now, it’s scary, it would be the first time I go abroad while in a relationship and it scares me for a reason unknown although it’s for less than a week.

I wonder if anyone else has this feeling, of all the things they’re missing by having anxiety.
I don’t really mean this in a ‘scared to do something’, ‘avoiding something’, like I’ve travelled alone and wouldn’t mind skydiving if it came up.
I’m talking about the everyday anxiety that is always there. Just being afraid - for no reason. If it wasn’t there, I could do so many things, if they’re inside the house, outside, ordinary everyday things, or special things - but instead my time is consumed by this damn fear of nothing, that makes me be unproductive and disfunctional for hours, just wastes my time and my energy.
Sometimes I think I escaped it for the day and then by evening it catches me again.
No pill actually helps for real - as I do take them.
It’s just, the amount of time I’m either, cancelling future plans cause they make me uneasy, am frozen in fear, trying to procrastinate something, or the times where I’m in full panic or frustration over this - I could do so much more with this time, and suffer way less.
My anxiety just exists no matter the states of things.
And it kills me to know some people just don’t deal with it and manage to live the life that they want without this invisible thing trying to stop them at every turn.
I’m so behind in uni and hopefully will not lose my degree, and I’m in so many care systems and nothing seems to work. I don’t know what to do anymore.

So say you’re prescribed benzos.
My question goes in 2:

1. What do you do when you’ve already taken your daily amount and still feel a pinge pf anxiety?

2. What do you do when you feel like you’ve over benzoed yourself. I mean other than regret it - after it’s done.

Is the simple answer just wait it out and go to sleep eventually?

If you have other advice or insight I’d love to hear that!

I still strongly feel like being a tiny bit productive before declaring it a night and going on about sleeping.

Just tired of having to drink so much water and its consequences

I’m here to vent. Over a silly thing. But it’s vent worthy. Hopefully it’s not a medical concern I’m gonna find out about!
But I’m tired of being so thirsty all the time!! And needing to drink water every damn second. I don’t think I’ve used glasses in the past year I’ve a bottle on me at all time in the house.
I know - we need to keep hydrated even when inside, cause there’s a heat wave and it’s damn summer + I’m on every mental health medication so those make you more thirsty (I don’t even know if I get dry-mouth at this point). I do know my mouth at the moment is dry and is asking for water (it’s not the same thirst you get when it’s hot and you need to chug a whole bottle). And having adhd waiting for the bottle to get completely full is fckn boringgg - I end up filling a cup full each time and I’m so tired of getting up to refill every other minute. Right now I’m finally laying on a comfortable position, but oh no, my silly little mouth is dry and needs water. Smh - shut up, no more water for today.
So yes there’s getting up to keep refilling the same water bottle that’s getting on my nerves (plus I don’t like being reminded of my kitchen but that’s for another vent/rant - I can’t tell the difference between these words and like, there’s a sunb for each, so I hope I picked the right one).
Now the obvious outcome of drinking a lot of water, and being so hydrated in these hot summer days, cause I’m not Australian, is having to pee. Which is another thing that I’m damn tired of. I don’t mind peeing but I literally am so fed up with having to get up to pee every chunk of minutes. You can’t ignore it for too long cause it takes focus away and I’m just so tired of going to my bathroom and peeing. I know it’s a short routine but I’m so fed up with it I just don’t want to do it anymore. But I will of course, again and again. Cause I keep hydrated. But I’m honestly considering quitting water. Not really I don’t need more health concerns (I don’t have many but I’m good at making them up). Imma send this message off into the wild and go pee and angry pee and hope to not be consumed by anxiety!
I think maybe this is the serious sub and I should’ve gone to r rant

Could be a mindset shift, an actual action, random thing that happened to you and you didn’t even have control over - anything! Just as long as it made your life take a turn, even if teeny tiny, for the better.

So I’ve been regular journaling x lowkey junk journaling for the past few years. But my question is only somewhat related.
Lately I’ve been obsessed with looking through Instagram for any ideas for inspiration, cool things to do etc. and I came across an old term: “scrapbooking” so here comes my true question:

What is the difference between scrapbooking and junk journaling? Between a scrapbook and a junk-journal, if there even is one.

Sorry for the long entrance but the tl;dr is right in the paragraph above this one!

So gladly I am now on Adderal which also makes my anxiety go away for most of the day, as I’m occupied or I think I’m occupied.
But at night I just get a weird feeling I can’t get rid of without my Klonopin. And it of course doesn’t go away with just one, I’m not there anymore.
And this night I keep running into concerning information anywhere online and I don’t know what to do anymore. Already on Seroquell that should shush my brain and relax my muscles - but it doesn’t seem to work tonight specifically.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve been on so many program like things for my anxiety and functioning and the klonopin dependency doesn’t go away, as well as the anxiety, even if most days it’s quiet and not full on panic. Did reduce klonopin use. But my country is of those with constant war threat and if there’s another round I know Im not making it without packets of klonopin or a new alcohol dependency or something of that kind.
I just don’t know what to do anymore.
And tomorrow I’ll wake up and take my Adderal and everything will be perfect again and I won’t know why I wrote this post, even regret it a bit, but then at night it’ll all be back again

Does Adderal make life generally less exciting?

I mean, it does feel like the power that motivates me in the morning, that bit of dopamine my brain needs to be able to dream and to want things, and to actually do stuff that it deems productive.
But I wonder, cause I feel like it also makes me obsessed with this feeling of being productive, which can never be truly achieved. Makes me feel like I’m chasing excitement that I can’t reach (and maybe I can’t reach it cause I haven’t yet done the productive things).
I find myself making lists of the stuff I’d like to do - rather than doing them (tho who knows if I’d do anything with no Adderal, I seriously can’t tell).
I feel like what excites me most about the next day, other than seeing my messages, is taking my next dosage.
I feel like Adderal makes me real happy for about 2 hours and after that (well naturally) I’m way less excited and motivated, maybe petrified even (that the day is over and I can’t be productive no more, or that it’s gonna wear off soon). I feel like it might’ve made me reach the summit of productiveness (though I’ve basically done nothing), take a peak, and see that there’s nothing there, and nothing to exciting to life in general :(
\- perhaps I’m feeling this way as I’m currently am with no curriculum, using it as an everyday med and not as a helper for studying or working.
Also, I have my country’s original brand.

Tl;Dr: I’ve done the things I wanna do, found out they’re not that exciting. Realized I don’t actually wanna do the rest of the things I wanna do. Now what?

On Adderal, with motivation from it, but not enough motivation to pick something to do and not enough for the thought of sticking to it. It’s been like 2 hours of doing nothing like that and I’m getting so tired of it. I just wanna put my focus to good use and make something of my life but I still can’t, even with the med. How come it even makes sense? Yesterday I felt so able to do stuff, why not today - I can’t just waste my med of days like this ugh.
Anyone has experienced something similar?

So basically I have no project or anything happening in my life for which I would need motivation. However this is making me unmotivated to just do random stuff, make stuff up and do them - which leads to me doing nothing all day and ends in me being in a very depressed state, extremely tired of my life and needing a drastic change - which I can’t make happen.

Any advice would be appreciated
Thanks 🙏

Be it a few days, a whole week, an entire era and what not - I’ve got few questions.

1. How do you manage to keep it to yourself enough that you don’t lash out or damage other people, with your own problems? Talking mostly about the people close to you, but could be relevant to anyone.
2. When a good time suddenly hits, how do you use it effectively, without holding on to the fear that it’s going to disappear and you’re going to feel awful again?
3. How do you manage life instead of giving up and trying to go to sleep it away?

Thank you in advance

Wonder if yall have experienced this too.
This is so with Adderal XR. I’ve tried the other version in the past which was great but they got it stopped. Anyway, I’ve been trying to get back now using XR as the psychiatrist prescribed- but this time around the concept of higher motivation is nowhere to be found. I find that I sit and do absolutely NOTHING all day. I just sit and be on my phone and time passes and I don’t even notice it - and suddenly I realize that it’s been 8 hours of me sitting in the same position. (I do notice when I’m hungry and eat, but other than that - time just passes). Maybe it’s because I don’t have a clear set of intentions for the day. But this is honestly so scary and distressing to me - I don’t think this is what Adderal should do (especially the lowered motivation).
It’s just so scary to me that I feel like I’ve basically woken up and it’s already evening.
And I do not remember this from the non XR version.
And of course the psychiatrist said she passes the responsibility of handeling the Adderal on to me because she trusts me?? And like, girl I do notice trust myself with this and have no idea what’s happening - why would you do that??