u/Swimming_Airline3881

Hi sleep fairies! I am completely new to this and a first time mom to a sweet little girl born mid-March. She is currently almost 16 weeks old, so I am starting to familiarize myself with sleep training but also trying to be realistic about my expectations.

We are very fortunate that she is very easy to put to bed as soon as the sun goes down (not a second sooner, if there is even a sliver of sun above the horizon, forget about it). She sleeps very well with typically 2 wakeups overnight to have a snack and a diaper change. Here are the overnight stats:

- Exclusively fed by bottle with pumped milk (no nursing or formula given)

- Bedtime routine starts at 8:30pm (sunset) and she is typically in the pack and play around 9:10, so routine is ~40min

- Room is dark (but not totally blackout, working on getting better curtains) with a red nightlight, room is cooled by window AC, and white noise machine is shhhhing.

- We roomshare sleep in a bed next to the pack and play. We do not cosleep.

- She gets a quick breastmik bath, is dressed in a cotton onesie with a sleep sack, given a bottle of breastmilk, given a pacifier, and then rocked/sang to sleep

- Once asleep or drowsy, I gently lay her in the pack and play. It is very unusual that she protests, but occasionally I'll need to pop her pacifier back in once or twice

- First wakeup is around 3am, give or take an hour. Then sometimes again at 6am, although lately she's starting to skip that one and waking up closer to 4-5am (🙌🏼).

- She is up for the day at 8am unless we get lucky and it's 8:30-9

All of that is working very well for us and I'm seeing great progress with her ability to stay down for longer periods of time.

Where I would like some guidance is napping. We use an app (unsure if I'm allowed to mention specific apps in this sub) to keep track of wake windows, which I've found very helpful. It usually predicts her naps within a few minutes!

However, we have had little to no success napping anywhere but on me (rocking chair in the bedroom is her favorite, or Ergo carrier on the go) or somewhere unsafe such as a baby lounger, swing, or car seat. I am trying very hard to stop her naps in "illegal" places, but I am solo parenting over 12 hours a day 6 days a week. I understand the risks and if it does happen, I keep a very close eye on her. Sometimes she'll fall asleep in the swing while I'm washing bottles or pumping and it's so hard not to just let her snooze.

I'm still working out what her nap schedule is, so I guess I would most appreciate suggestions on that. When napping on me, she typically sleeps for 1-2 hours but occasionally catnaps for shorter periods around 30min. Wake windows seem to vary depending on where we are and how long she napped previously.

My best guess: 1.5/2/2/2/1.5

Any advice or guidance is very welcome and greatly appreciated. I know she is young but I want to develop good sleep habits and possibly gain some freedom back. She is such a sweet baby and as much as I love cuddling during contact naps, I am alone most of the day with no help.

I would also love to be able to get her napping in the crib in her own room, but that seems impossible right now. I would be so happy to get her napping in her pack and play even once or twice a day.

Thank you! :)

I have a 3.5 month old daughter that we named Theresa. We absolutely love the name and it was chosen to honor my father, whose name was Taras but went by Terry. He passed in 2010 before I met my husband. It's not an exact match, but "inspired by" his name.

Unfortunately, everyone in our lives seems incapable of using her full name and instead of calling her Theresa, they call her whatever the hell they think of. Tess, Tessa, T-Bone, even Tree. TREE 🤦🏼‍♀️

God forbid they use the name we gave her, which is only three syllables. They don't even call her Terri, which would make the most sense given the inspiration behind her name. No one can agree on a nickname and they all feel so forced. Every time someone calls her by a nickname, I cringe because it doesn't suit her.

This is just a venting post really, but insight an opinions are welcome. I liked the nickname Reese, but unfortunately that's out due to a negative association my husband has with a coworker with that name.

Sigh. Who knew Theresa was such a mouthful.

EDIT: my goodness this post took off, thank you everyone for the comments and suggestions!

I really don't mind if she develops a nickname, but I would prefer she decide that rather than have one forced upon her. She's obviously not in school or made any friends yet, but I won't be upset if one of the nicknames sticks later down the road. It just feels forced when the people in her life are already trying to give her a nickname. I feel like that's something a person should decide for themselves amongst their peers.

The silliest part is that I have a brother Matthew, and the whole family calls him by the full name (NEVER Matt). Why they can't do the same for Theresa I'll never understand.

Anyone know how long milk can be out and still be okay to use in a breastmilk bath? This is obviously NOT for consumption but I have some breastmilk I forgot about and it has been out at room temp (75 degrees-ish) for about 24 hours.

Is that a little TOO expired for a bath? How old is too old for milk going into the bath? Thanks :)

My 3 month LO is starting to find her voice and babbles a lot, especially when in a good mood. Most of it is incoherent nonsense ("gooooooo" is her favorite) and I understand that she isn't really forming words, just exploring her ability to make sounds.

Tonight I was drying her off after a bath, which is her least favorite part of our nighttime routine. Trying to distract her and get a smile, I tickled under her chin.

She looked straight at me and clearly announced "GAY" 😂 I started cracking up and wished her a happy Pride Month.

We're a very liberal household and I've always said she can be anything but an asshole. I'm not sure if this is her coming out at 3 months old, but I'll have a great story to tell at her wedding someday if she does in fact end up being in the LGBTQIA+ community.

Edit: WOW some of you can't take a joke. Thinking I'm sexualizing my 3 month old because I wished her a Happy Pride Month is wild. We live in a very queer-friendly state and have many LGBTQIA+ loved ones, including aunts and uncles who adore her. I will be teaching her how families come in ALL shapes and sizes, not anything age inappropriate. Believe it or not, I am well educated and don't actually think my daughter is coming out as gay. She's a BABY and doesn't know what that means. And even if she could or was conscious enough to know that about herself, it would only make me more proud to be her mother. I will love and support her no matter how she identifies or who she loves when she's older and so will her father. Get off your high homophobic horses and unclench a little.

My LO is 12 weeks old and I exclusively pump. She only likes the Dr. Brown's bottles (🥲) but my question is how do you know when to go up to the larger sizes? To my understanding, most babies don't drink more than 5oz at a time but the smaller Dr. Brown's bottles are only 4oz. The bigger bottles look HUGE and she doesn't always finish the smaller ones, but other times she chugs them.

Should I be offering more in the bigger bottles? How much? I wish the smaller bottles were just a little bigger so they could hold 5oz 😭

Anyone else use their breast milk to cook something in a pinch? 😅 I didn't realize I was out of milk when making mac and cheese for myself late at night. I was the only one eating it and I just needed a couple tablespoons... I'm not going to lie it was some pretty good mac and cheese 🤭

Heads up to everyone in Fox Point today, a neighbor just caught a man stealing bikes from the park bike racks and even going through back yards around Ives Street! She has called the police but gotten no response.

The man is suspected to be unstable and possibly under the influence of an illicit substance, so please be careful and keep your bikes very secure and/or out of eyesight.

TW: oversupply, clogs, engorgement

Today I experienced a very scary situation I thought was a medical emergency but turns out is "normal" according to the lactation hotline nurses and my OB. No one warned me this was possible, so here I am hoping it helps someone else.

I am 9wpp and an exclusive pumper. I have a moderate oversupply that I manage seemingly well with 30min pumps every 4-6 hours, but I have gone a little longer before without issue. My supply has regulated and I produce 40-50oz very reliably.

Today I went out of the house without my pump, which I will never do again!! I was going to be home around hour 6, so I was pushing it but I've gone longer and didn't think it would be such an issue. Not great I will admit, but the worst that's happened before is I'm a little engorged and it's gone by the next pump.

Well, I live in Providence RI and needed to drop my husband off near Brown University, not realizing today they were graduating and half of the city would be in utter chaos and roads blocked off. What should have been a 30min drive I planned for turned into almost an hour, and I was getting severely uncomfortable with every detour we needed to take. The city is a MESS and it damn near doubled our expected drive time.

I finally get home and I'm in pain with a bowling ball in the side of my boob, but I'm not panicking yet. I've been here before so I calmly hook up the pump and sit down for a session, baby happily swinging next to me. We are alone and will be until my husband returns around 11pm, ten hours from now.

I'm pumping about 5 minutes and the milk is coming out no problem, but I start to feel REALLY weird. My stomach is churning and suddenly I need to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW, pumping or not (sorry I know it's gross, I dumped the milk and will be sanitizing the bejesus out of the pump).

I'm sitting on the toilet and then the most violent whole-body shakes come over me. Knees knocking, hands trembling, teeth chattering shakes. Similar to the post caesarian shakes iykyk. I am freaked out and make my way back down to the baby, grab my phone, and dial the lactation hotline provided by the hospital. (Shout out to the Rhode Island WARM line, you're saving lives)

I leave a message explaining my situation (this is protocol) and they call me back right away. The nurses talk me down off the ledge and consult with each other, deciding I'm likely fine and this is a hormonal crash from engorgement.

WHAT? THIS IS NORMAL?? I can't believe I haven't heard of this and call the OB office to speak with the on-call doctor. She is unconcerned and tells me I'm fine, keep pumping, take some ibuprofen, and call if I suspect mastitis or develop a fever.

By now I'm on the phone, bawling to my husband who is extremely concerned and offers to come home ASAP. Instead, I call his dad (baby's Grandpa) because I'm alone and afraid I'm going to pass out and be unable to care for the baby or dial 911 if I need to. Thank god, Grandpa arrives in 30 minutes and baby is still happily swinging like she understood I needed her to entertain herself for awhile.

By then the shakes are mostly gone and I go upstairs for a nap. It's been 1.5 hours of restless sleep but the shakes are gone and all that remains is a headache and painful boob where the engorgement was. I'm about to hop in the shower for a hot boob massage recommended by the OB but this was one of the scariest experiences of my life. Second only to the fear of requiring an emergency cesarian at 37 weeks.

I will never leave the house without the pump again. I don't care if I sit in traffic with my nipples out, this was terrifying.

Hi all! Apologies if this isn't the sub for this question but since we all exclusively pump, I assume we all use bottles.

My question: how do you know when it's time to bump up the bottle nipple flow level? My LO is 9 weeks and she's been doing what I call "snacking," where she only finishes about half of a 4oz bottle and refuses to take any more. Then she's screaming for more about 1.5-2hrs later and only drinks another 2oz. We play this game all day and all night, and I'm exhausted by it.

She used to finish at least 3-3.5oz of the bottle, but this week it's like she gives up and refuses to finish them. We use Dr. Brown's level 1 because she refuses any other bottle brands so far. Although they're a pain to wash, they seem to work for her because she is rarely gassy or spits up.

When she's drinking from the bottle, I've noticed she makes high pitched sucking noises and sometimes the nipple collapses on itself and then has to reinflate when she lets go. Is this a sign it's time for level 2?

Thank you! 🍼